Becoming "civilized"????

My daughters and daughters-in-law have been trying to keep me more current and stylish by generously and lovingly introducing me to salons and pedicures. I enjoyed the bonding experience of going with Angela and Susanne to get pedicures. I even enjoyed sitting in Victoria's living room, watching a movie after the kids were asleep, doing our own pedicures. But I went to a Wal-Mart to get a pedicure just before leaving Arizona. I was less than impressed. I paid $25 for basically a chair massage (which I enjoyed) and a foot bath followed by polish on my toe nails, done about as well or less than when I do it myself. I guess if I were willing to pay more money, I could get a really good foot massage with callous removal and artistic polish on my toenails. I can't help but remember an article in the newspaper in Dayton about the cost of having nails done. The article was about the state of the economy and they had interviewed some nail salon employees, I can't remember what they're called. One of the comments given was the incredulity they feel when a customer complains at them about how close they are to bankruptcy or having their mortgage foreclosed- all in an attempt to excuse giving a cheap tip. The comment was something like, "If your finances are in such bad shape, what are you doing paying $40 to have your nails polished or more to have artificial nails applied?"

I just had my hair cut in a salon. I enjoyed going with Victoria here in Toledo and watching some of the interesting procedures done there. I have known about coloring hair, permanents, and hair cut, dried, and set. I had never seen "feathers" put in hair, or eyebrow waxing. I am once again perplexed about the state of the economy and what people are spending money on. I guess it's important to spend money in order to keep people employed. But I just don't know if I can justify to people in the world- who are living in refugee camps, trying to salvage belongings out of flooded or burned or earthquake-shattered home, or trying to subsist on a bowl of rice and a fish a day- the way we in the "civilized world" spend our money. How can they fully appreciate the importance of highlighted hair, waxed body parts, health spa toned bodies, and totally impractical nails that stick out from the finger an inch and have fancy colors and designs? I would feel ashamed of anyone in a poverty level existence wanting to emulate this society. I would not want them to feel that vanity is such a priority. I felt like I had to explain to the girl who cut my hair why I have been cutting my own hair most of the time for many years now. I was basically implying I didn't support her occupation. I mostly emphasized that we have been moving and traveling but, in all honesty, it has been the unjustifiable expense even more than the inconvenience. She did a wonderful job on my hair- much better than I do. But I certainly won't be putting any extra little pieces of artificial hair (pink, white, blue, etc.) or having wax applied anywhere. If I were younger and felt it more important to "look good" maybe I might have a different opinion. But right now I just can't justify that use of money.

I didn't know!

This morning when we went to visit Mom at the care center, many of the residents were trying to tolerate a woman who frequently spends time yelling, not usually any specific message, just almost cawing like a very large bird- over and over and over. There is also a man there who has lost his sight and mobility but not his voice. He does yell specific messages and they are often not at all nice. He has been banned from the dining hall because he is too disturbing to other residents. I left the care center in a very troubled state of mind. Mom has always loved going to the temple, where it is quiet and peaceful. She can't do that anymore. She has loved sitting, early in the morning, and looking out the window and reading scriptures. We got her the Book of Mormon on tape so she can listen to that but can't open the curtains on her window.
She is apprehensive about our impending absence. This will be the first time she has been "alone", that is, at the care center without anyone in the family nearby. I have done all that I can to ensure that church members visit her. Two of my sisters will be coming for short periods of time during our absence. We have gotten her several books on tape to listen to. I have made arrangements for her laundry to be done there at the care center, where most residents' laundry is done. I am way too excited to see my children and grandchildren to have Mom's "fears" come even close to dissuading me to leave. As I have pondered how uncomfortable living in the care center probably is for her, I keep coming back to CHOICES! I know Mom has been physically active off and on through her life. I know she has osteoporosis. I know she has had a hip replacement and a couple of bad falls. I know she is nearly 85. Nevertheless, she has had good medical care and has had the opportunity to recover mobility. She has chosen fear of falling and dislike of pain and effort over therapy, hard work, and trust. Those who love Mom have done all we can, short of lifting her and carrying her everywhere she wants to go, to make her life as pleasant as possible. I'm sure that, years ago when the gradual decline began, Mom had no idea she would end up in a wheelchair, unable to see or hear very well, and unable to wheel herself around, therefore "alone" in a care facility because that's the only way she can be adequately cared for. I'm sure there have been so many times in my life that I have made choices, then later mourned "But I didn't know it would be like this!" I hope I can maintain the good graces to realize that I am where I am because of my choices, whether I knew the outcome in advance or not. I can't expect others to endlessly feel sorry for me or offer me help. It's nice to have people lovingly give a hand on occasion and to lend a listening ear or shoulder to cry on. But at some point, I need to just buck up and deal with the consequences. Nobody put a gun to my head.

I sang for Chuck Norris today.

Funerals here in Sun City, AZ are a common occurrence. Residents here must be 55 or older so it's not surprising. Last week I played the piano for a funeral. Today Russ and I sang in the ward choir for a funeral. None of us knew the woman. I guess she had come only occasionally and not for a long time because she had serious health problems and she travelled quite a bit. In the course of the funeral, we found out that she had been a martial arts master and traveled with her husband teaching. The method she taught was developed by Chuck Norris and she knew him quite well. He came to her funeral and even served as a pallbearer today. I know that these days casual dress is the rule. There are many women who don't even own a dress and men who don't own a suit or tie. I'm sure Chuck Norris owns at least one suit and one tie. He was the only pallbearer dressed in a Hawaiian print shirt and slacks. I guess it was pretty nice for the family that he took the time and made the effort to come. I would have been more impressed if he had made a little more effort and dressed more appropriately. Maybe he was on a tight schedule and didn't have anything dressier with him.............

Surprise me

It has been quite awhile since I took the time to compose a blogspot. I don't even know if anyone is reading it anymore. But I have been thinking about something so I thought I would verbalize my thoughts.
I love giving gifts. I think most people do. Some people are really good at managing to give the "perfect gift" to someone without being told what to get. I try to log into my brain an idea for a gift when someone happens to mention it. I'm always afraid I'm going to spend the money and the time acquiring something that won't be wanted. Then the recipient feels obligated to thank me and try to figure out what to do with a gift they don't really want.
I have sometimes heard a similar thing in reference to food. "I'm going to ____, do you want something?" Sure. "What do you want?" Oh, I don't know....surprise me. Oooh that can be a loaded request. Is it really going to work to guess what someone feels in the mood for?
Actually, I think the real issue is that, we don't need anything. Most gifts are unnecessary extravagances, not like the orange in the stocking on Christmas morning during the Depression. Does any child really need the latest electronic whiz-thingy? I know I don't really need a blizzard from Dairy Queen. If I were really hungry, I would probably have no problem requesting something, although I would be very happy to eat just about anything.
A similar thing can happen in our relationship with our Heavenly Father. We want Him to "surprise" us with something that will light up our life. We just don't know what that might be. Granted, He knows so much more than any of us. He may even be "surprising" us on a regular basis with blessings we don't recognize because we just think it's a happy coincidence or maybe we just have no idea how it might have turned out without His watchful care. I am, indeed, trying to be "perfect even as Father in heaven is perfect", but I have a very long way to go. I'm glad I don't yet have the power to grant or refuse prayers because I don't have the wisdom to know the best way to respond.