Having acid reflux is not very pleasant, however I have come to appreciate the positive aspects of this inconvenience. I have to avoid eating large portions or late in the evening- both of which may not be helping me to lose any weight but it more likely ensures I won't gain anything. Rather than risking gaining weight from holiday or other "splurges", I have to maintain sensible eating. I don't have to strain my will power to avoid overeating and greasy, fatty foods are not even tempting.
When I achieved a relatively large stature at a younger age than other girls, I was sometimes embarrassed or frustrated by being big. Nearly everything about me has been bigger than other females, except perhaps those who are unusually tall or truly obese. I always thought it would be nice to be a petite female- at least more attractive. However, I have realized that my size has enabled me to do lots of things that other females and even some males can't do. I love being able to help people who are moving.I like not needing to get a footstool to reach the upper cupboards. I can work in the yard, which I love, for hours. I can even move my own furniture around if I feel like rearranging.
I love my family members dearly. Growing up I lived near most of my dad's family and saw them regularly. I raised my children for the most part in that same area. Now we are literally spread all over the globe. I miss seeing my aunts and uncles, cousins, and especially my children and grandchildren. I have frequently bemoaned the lack of opportunities to interact with family members. However, it's almost exclusively due to the need to travel to be with family that has given me the rich experience of seeing cities, states, and countries that I have always hope to visit. I love sharing stories of our incredible experiences as we have traveled to many places. It's fun to see or hear about places all over the world and be able to say, "I've been there!" Most of our travels have required only transportation to get to and fro. We have had welcoming places to stay and been fed and made comfortable with little to no effort on our part. We have even had personal tour guides!
I often feel like I'm a "party pooper" because I don't like staying up past about 10 pm. I start getting tired by 8:30 or 9! However, I am wide awake in the morning. I love the early quiet at the beginning of day. I enjoy feeling energized and ready to eagerly face whatever the day presents.
It's a good thing that I'm not always in charge of every single aspect of my life but I can choose the important things that help me to develop what I hope is "good character". I try to be grateful and hopeful and willing to help. I do my best to make lemonade out of lemons.
Thursday, February 28, 2019
Sunday, February 17, 2019
Gender roles, Part 2
There are some generalizations that fit groups of people based on ethnicity, nationality, race, age, and gender- despite what those who are overly concerned with "political correctness" would claim. Younger people, in general, have more energy than older people. Older people are often more dependable than younger people. Asians have shown to be more determined to excel scholastically than Hispanics. Hispanics are often more gregarious than those of traditional Asian descent. Men are more concerned about vehicles and women more concerned about houses. There are ALWAYS exceptions to every generalization so we have to be ready to accept those who "don't fit the mold"- the girl who becomes a great race car driver or mechanic, the 90-year old that runs marathons, the 12 year old that gets accepted into Yale and has had perfect attendance at school. So, is there anything about being human that truly does "fit a mold" without exceptions? Are there people who truly can NEVER do something, no matter how hard they might try? Short people are not usually the best basketball players but there are even short members of the Harlem Globetrotters as well as other professional teams. Men can be really great chefs even though lots of men rarely enter their kitchen at home except to ask their wife when dinner will be ready.
I have been fascinated with what is being learned about the human brain. Our brains are truly where we exist, our hopes, our dreams, our fears, our challenges... There have been a few discoveries about gender differences in the brain. One of the biggest "generalizations" about how male and female brains differ is that men tend to think compartmentally. They focus on one thing at a time. Women tend to have integrated thoughts. They think about whose turn it is to carpool while in the checkout line at the grocery store and figuring out when they need to get dinner started and whose turn it is to do the dishes. Hormones play a significant role in gender characteristics. Estrogen encourages nurturing feelings. Testosterone boosts competitiveness.
We are each unique no matter how many characteristics we may exhibit that are similar to others in our "group" as determined by all of the defining labels we use. But what is "natural" in us is not always inescapable or ideal. Those who suffer Turret's syndrome are certainly not happy with their spontaneous outbursts of obscenities. Those who are addicted to drugs or pornography are often very unhappy and, if not too far gone, have a desire to change. People once called kleptomaniacs or nymphomaniacs or gluttons all suffer from an addiction. I don't know that any one of those somewhat extreme cases could be considered "ideal" for humans to hope to attain. So how do we consider what is "normal" and what is "abnormal". Who do we "treat" and who do we just accept or even enable?
In the subject of gender roles, how do we determine what is acceptable/normal for certain individuals and what should be changed? There is NO valid "competition" between genders- meaning there isn't one that's better than another. Women who do the same quality of work at a comparable job should get paid the same as a man. Men who choose a career long-considered as being for women should get the opportunity to work. As I ponder this issue, I continue to refer back to the One who created us, including our gender.
If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed and abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.(His words, not mine- Leviticus 20:13 and it doesn't say a man shouldn't love another man, just not have sex with him.)
The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord they God. (At least he doesn't say they should be put to death. This is from Deut. 22:5) Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves....God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet. (Romans 1:21-27) Just as our children may whine "Unfair!" about our requests or demands, we may feel that God is being "unfair" to those who "lust after" members of the same gender. Is God unfair? Did He make a "mistake" in those who have these feelings, or the one who has a gender for Parkinson's or alcoholism, or is born with Down's Syndrome? What is a choice and what is unavoidable? Alcoholism can be avoided by choosing never to drink alcohol; drug addictions would be the same.Turrets can seek medical help and, hopefully, manage symptoms enough to not embarrass themselves. Down's Syndrome is thankfully no longer quite the tragic news to new parents that it once was. There is nothing shameful about it and the public awareness is slightly ahead of autism for general acceptance and understanding. (There will always be rude, inconsiderate people no matter how much education is available.) I have known and really loved several people who acted on same-gender attraction. Aids ended early the life of one and I don't know about the other two. I am willing to accept the God-given freedom to choose, as exhibited in others, but I deserve the same. I will never treat someone who does not want to accept their birth gender with derision, but I believe they were created with a specific gender for a purpose. I will also never teach a child that having sex outside of marriage is totally fine, same sex or opposite. I will also never teach a child to pursue desires for sexual relations with a member of the same sex and I will never feel that it's equal in validity to pairing with a member of the opposite sex despite inherent differences. I vividly remember one of the homosexual friends I referred to earlier explaining at a class reunion how he "came out". His words were, "I had never tried anything with a man so I didn't know I would like it." That did not justify to me doing something God has declared "unnatural" or "abomination". I am not God and I don't claim to have the wisdom He has but I do acknowledge that He has more than I do. We should love everyone, just as Jesus does and has commanded us to do. Love and lust are not the same thing. We all have challenges, weaknesses, and sorrow. Giving in to challenges is not going to make things better for us. A glutton will not be happier by eating all they have a desire to eat. God created male and female to be companions to each other, to multiply and replenish the earth. We can seek to understand His wisdom, or defiantly demand to live by our own rules. He has given us that choice.
My last blog on this issue will be concerning gender roles as part of participation in sports activities, for which I have tried to do more "worldly" research because I really don't know how God feels about women football players or wrestlers.
I have been fascinated with what is being learned about the human brain. Our brains are truly where we exist, our hopes, our dreams, our fears, our challenges... There have been a few discoveries about gender differences in the brain. One of the biggest "generalizations" about how male and female brains differ is that men tend to think compartmentally. They focus on one thing at a time. Women tend to have integrated thoughts. They think about whose turn it is to carpool while in the checkout line at the grocery store and figuring out when they need to get dinner started and whose turn it is to do the dishes. Hormones play a significant role in gender characteristics. Estrogen encourages nurturing feelings. Testosterone boosts competitiveness.
We are each unique no matter how many characteristics we may exhibit that are similar to others in our "group" as determined by all of the defining labels we use. But what is "natural" in us is not always inescapable or ideal. Those who suffer Turret's syndrome are certainly not happy with their spontaneous outbursts of obscenities. Those who are addicted to drugs or pornography are often very unhappy and, if not too far gone, have a desire to change. People once called kleptomaniacs or nymphomaniacs or gluttons all suffer from an addiction. I don't know that any one of those somewhat extreme cases could be considered "ideal" for humans to hope to attain. So how do we consider what is "normal" and what is "abnormal". Who do we "treat" and who do we just accept or even enable?
In the subject of gender roles, how do we determine what is acceptable/normal for certain individuals and what should be changed? There is NO valid "competition" between genders- meaning there isn't one that's better than another. Women who do the same quality of work at a comparable job should get paid the same as a man. Men who choose a career long-considered as being for women should get the opportunity to work. As I ponder this issue, I continue to refer back to the One who created us, including our gender.
If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed and abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.(His words, not mine- Leviticus 20:13 and it doesn't say a man shouldn't love another man, just not have sex with him.)
The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord they God. (At least he doesn't say they should be put to death. This is from Deut. 22:5) Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves....God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet. (Romans 1:21-27) Just as our children may whine "Unfair!" about our requests or demands, we may feel that God is being "unfair" to those who "lust after" members of the same gender. Is God unfair? Did He make a "mistake" in those who have these feelings, or the one who has a gender for Parkinson's or alcoholism, or is born with Down's Syndrome? What is a choice and what is unavoidable? Alcoholism can be avoided by choosing never to drink alcohol; drug addictions would be the same.Turrets can seek medical help and, hopefully, manage symptoms enough to not embarrass themselves. Down's Syndrome is thankfully no longer quite the tragic news to new parents that it once was. There is nothing shameful about it and the public awareness is slightly ahead of autism for general acceptance and understanding. (There will always be rude, inconsiderate people no matter how much education is available.) I have known and really loved several people who acted on same-gender attraction. Aids ended early the life of one and I don't know about the other two. I am willing to accept the God-given freedom to choose, as exhibited in others, but I deserve the same. I will never treat someone who does not want to accept their birth gender with derision, but I believe they were created with a specific gender for a purpose. I will also never teach a child that having sex outside of marriage is totally fine, same sex or opposite. I will also never teach a child to pursue desires for sexual relations with a member of the same sex and I will never feel that it's equal in validity to pairing with a member of the opposite sex despite inherent differences. I vividly remember one of the homosexual friends I referred to earlier explaining at a class reunion how he "came out". His words were, "I had never tried anything with a man so I didn't know I would like it." That did not justify to me doing something God has declared "unnatural" or "abomination". I am not God and I don't claim to have the wisdom He has but I do acknowledge that He has more than I do. We should love everyone, just as Jesus does and has commanded us to do. Love and lust are not the same thing. We all have challenges, weaknesses, and sorrow. Giving in to challenges is not going to make things better for us. A glutton will not be happier by eating all they have a desire to eat. God created male and female to be companions to each other, to multiply and replenish the earth. We can seek to understand His wisdom, or defiantly demand to live by our own rules. He has given us that choice.
My last blog on this issue will be concerning gender roles as part of participation in sports activities, for which I have tried to do more "worldly" research because I really don't know how God feels about women football players or wrestlers.
The freedom of ignorance
Somehow I always expected that as I got older, gaining experience and (hopefully) wisdom, I would also gain confidence. Russ and I are finding the opposite to be true for us. We have noticed greater anxiety. Whether it's preparing to travel, or working for someone, or attending a meeting- just about anything we have done all of our life, as we get older we tend to worry more. Maybe our greater experience has educated us about more possibilities for failure. As we witness or experience more disasters or simple glitches, it opens our eyes to more ways things can go wrong hence a greater concern about remembering things to do, watching for potential obstacles, and awareness of people who might cause harm.
We both love babies and young children. They are so genuine, often called innocent meaning unaware of and incapable of duplicity. Despite their self-focus, they do respond quickly to another's laugh, smile, or sorrow. Do we perhaps envy them that the world seems so simple to them? If someone smiles or speaks to them kindly, they have no idea whether that person is a criminal or a saint or an atheist or an anarchist or what color their skin is or what country they're from or what political party they support- none of that matters. The longer we live, the more we realize that you truly can't judge a book by its cover, and that goes both directions. We have personally known very pleasant people who are capable of horrific behavior. We have also known people who, due to birth defects or injury, are not pleasant-looking or may be rough-sounding but have hearts of gold. We have attacked jobs that appeared onerous and turned out to be pretty easy. On the other hand, we have started at what we thought would be a quick, easy task which turned out to be very frustrating with much greater time and expense than anticipated.
So, it seems that lack of experience can really allow more confidence, happiness, and motivation. I look back at earlier periods of my life and it seems I was more "free" then. I didn't have as many reasons to worry because I wasn't yet aware of how great the possibility of tragedy was. Every passing year now means someone I know well, if not myself, will be injured, develop a disease, have a great sorrow in their life, or experience unending depression. It's hard to focus on the many people that I know who are NOT experiencing great trials. I can think of a frustration at the very least in the life of every single person I'm closely acquainted with. The result of all this is that motivation is harder to come by. The fear of disaster is a great deterrent to get up and do anything. It seems easier to find excuses to just stay home where its safe- even wanting sometimes to just stay in bed and not even face another day. Ignorance can actually promote a greater feeling of freedom. Ignorance can truly be considered bliss.
We both love babies and young children. They are so genuine, often called innocent meaning unaware of and incapable of duplicity. Despite their self-focus, they do respond quickly to another's laugh, smile, or sorrow. Do we perhaps envy them that the world seems so simple to them? If someone smiles or speaks to them kindly, they have no idea whether that person is a criminal or a saint or an atheist or an anarchist or what color their skin is or what country they're from or what political party they support- none of that matters. The longer we live, the more we realize that you truly can't judge a book by its cover, and that goes both directions. We have personally known very pleasant people who are capable of horrific behavior. We have also known people who, due to birth defects or injury, are not pleasant-looking or may be rough-sounding but have hearts of gold. We have attacked jobs that appeared onerous and turned out to be pretty easy. On the other hand, we have started at what we thought would be a quick, easy task which turned out to be very frustrating with much greater time and expense than anticipated.
So, it seems that lack of experience can really allow more confidence, happiness, and motivation. I look back at earlier periods of my life and it seems I was more "free" then. I didn't have as many reasons to worry because I wasn't yet aware of how great the possibility of tragedy was. Every passing year now means someone I know well, if not myself, will be injured, develop a disease, have a great sorrow in their life, or experience unending depression. It's hard to focus on the many people that I know who are NOT experiencing great trials. I can think of a frustration at the very least in the life of every single person I'm closely acquainted with. The result of all this is that motivation is harder to come by. The fear of disaster is a great deterrent to get up and do anything. It seems easier to find excuses to just stay home where its safe- even wanting sometimes to just stay in bed and not even face another day. Ignorance can actually promote a greater feeling of freedom. Ignorance can truly be considered bliss.
Friday, February 15, 2019
The final gender roles commentary
In my efforts to research gender affects in sports, I have been a little surprised. I can't guarantee that the results I found are completely true. No matter what source anyone uses, it's possible to have bias. Even scientific researchers start out with a hypothesis and will experiment, sometimes with limited parameters, hoping to prove their hypothesis. Also, there are statistics that can "prove" almost anything if you look hard enough. With all that in mind, these are the things I found when I "researched" the affect of strenuous sports by gender. Strenuous exercise is generally defined as more than 2 1/2 hours or 3 times a week with elevated heart rate. The graph of sedentary to very strenuous exercise is a curve with the mortality rate of very strenuous similar to sedentary. I guess moderation in all things is a truth in activity. The healthiest sports (good fitness results with few injuries) are squash, rowing, rock climbing (that's a shocker!) and swimming which is the very safest. However, the deadliest (numbers of deaths occurring directly attributable) are base jumping, swimming (huh??- it must include drowning), cycling, running, and sky diving. The absolute most dangerous sport listed, with the most injuries, is cheerleading! I guess the development beyond just shouting rhymes, jumping up and down and shaking pom-poms has resulted in pretty dangerous tricks.
My motivation for researching this particular aspect of gender roles was my negative gut reaction to the suggestion of girls in wrestling and football, both contact sports. I have never been "good" in sports but I have always been active. I tend to be pretty clumsy with catching, hitting, or throwing balls and I am not a runner. However, I have always felt that females, although not interchangeable with males, have the potential to do nearly anything average males can do. Males tend to have greater upper body strength, especially among those who lift weights or exercise in a way to develop strength. As for other aspects of sport-fitness, I found this statement enlightening: Physiological differences within the sexes is greater than the difference between the sexes. Basically this means that there are greater strength, agility, speed differences among men or among women than the difference between the general population of males versus females. So gender does not dictate whether you can excel at any sport. I have always felt that women are fully capable competing in swimming, basketball, soccer, volleyball, tennis, etc. But I just can't feel good about girls playing football or wrestling. Is it due to my generational expectations? There is little evidence yet concerning the impact of girls in such aggressive contact sports. Wrestling focuses on weight- that's how the competitors are categorized. I remember a young man fainting off the back of the risers during a high school choir practice because he was a wrestler and was trying to lower his weight. I know that during teenage years there are some really important hormonal and brain developments going on. Bone loss has been seen among those involved in strenuous physical activity that could be attributed to an increase in stress hormones and how that impacts gender-based hormones as well as nutrition issues. I have been concerned with the discoveries concerning brain injuries, especially in boxing and in football. The highest rates of concussion are in rugby, lowest in American football with ice hockey and soccer in between. Among females specifically, the highest rates for concussions are in ice hockey and American football.
So, early in my life, females wrestling has been limited to mud wrestling and catfights, with roller derby coming close. None of those are at all positive images for females. I appreciate strength and admire those females who join the service and can keep up on obstacle courses and running while carrying gear. So, why does female wrestling or football bother me? As an individual, I have never been competitive against others. I try to do my best just because I feel better when I have sincerely made a good effort. I realize that despite my abhorrence of violence, there are many occupations that require violence: dealing with criminals and dealing with war to mention a couple which both involve lots of different branches. So, it's not the violence- although I really don't like the image of a 14 year old female red in the face trying to physically control another person simply for sport. I guess the only "legitimate" objections I can logically come up with are the concern for the hormonal and nervous system development among youth. As adults, anyone can choose whatever they want to do- as long as it doesn't interfere with another person's freedom and well-being. The risks inherent in rigorous contact sports just don't seem worth it. Women athletes often have disrupted menstrual cycles. If that occurs too much during development, what are the long-term effects? Repeatedly, I read that there is simply not enough evidence to make a determination. I know that male bodies continue to make sperm throughout life but females have only a limited supply of eggs. I know that having a girl here and there that wants to participate in a sport won't work because there needs to be a full team or at least a valid opponent. That will result in encouraging girls who may not really be interested to participate in something that could have risks not yet identified. Personally, I am not willing to agree to that. I just don't think it's necessary. I know boys are more physically aggressive than girls from the outset. Girls will color, dance, play with toys quietly while boys prefer to move and poke and be more physical. I just don't think we ought to be pushing young females to be more aggressive. I prefer to aim more efforts at being less aggressive across the board.
Maybe I'm just old-fashioned and don't see it coming that genders will be interchangeable. I really don't think so. From what I have quoted in previous blogs, I think there are differences between males and females and it's supposed to be that way, for everyone's best benefit. If I have a granddaughter or great granddaughter who really wants to wrestle or play football, I will try to attend their event as much as I try to support any and all of my posterity. But I won't go out of my way to root for girls participating in contact sports.
My motivation for researching this particular aspect of gender roles was my negative gut reaction to the suggestion of girls in wrestling and football, both contact sports. I have never been "good" in sports but I have always been active. I tend to be pretty clumsy with catching, hitting, or throwing balls and I am not a runner. However, I have always felt that females, although not interchangeable with males, have the potential to do nearly anything average males can do. Males tend to have greater upper body strength, especially among those who lift weights or exercise in a way to develop strength. As for other aspects of sport-fitness, I found this statement enlightening: Physiological differences within the sexes is greater than the difference between the sexes. Basically this means that there are greater strength, agility, speed differences among men or among women than the difference between the general population of males versus females. So gender does not dictate whether you can excel at any sport. I have always felt that women are fully capable competing in swimming, basketball, soccer, volleyball, tennis, etc. But I just can't feel good about girls playing football or wrestling. Is it due to my generational expectations? There is little evidence yet concerning the impact of girls in such aggressive contact sports. Wrestling focuses on weight- that's how the competitors are categorized. I remember a young man fainting off the back of the risers during a high school choir practice because he was a wrestler and was trying to lower his weight. I know that during teenage years there are some really important hormonal and brain developments going on. Bone loss has been seen among those involved in strenuous physical activity that could be attributed to an increase in stress hormones and how that impacts gender-based hormones as well as nutrition issues. I have been concerned with the discoveries concerning brain injuries, especially in boxing and in football. The highest rates of concussion are in rugby, lowest in American football with ice hockey and soccer in between. Among females specifically, the highest rates for concussions are in ice hockey and American football.
So, early in my life, females wrestling has been limited to mud wrestling and catfights, with roller derby coming close. None of those are at all positive images for females. I appreciate strength and admire those females who join the service and can keep up on obstacle courses and running while carrying gear. So, why does female wrestling or football bother me? As an individual, I have never been competitive against others. I try to do my best just because I feel better when I have sincerely made a good effort. I realize that despite my abhorrence of violence, there are many occupations that require violence: dealing with criminals and dealing with war to mention a couple which both involve lots of different branches. So, it's not the violence- although I really don't like the image of a 14 year old female red in the face trying to physically control another person simply for sport. I guess the only "legitimate" objections I can logically come up with are the concern for the hormonal and nervous system development among youth. As adults, anyone can choose whatever they want to do- as long as it doesn't interfere with another person's freedom and well-being. The risks inherent in rigorous contact sports just don't seem worth it. Women athletes often have disrupted menstrual cycles. If that occurs too much during development, what are the long-term effects? Repeatedly, I read that there is simply not enough evidence to make a determination. I know that male bodies continue to make sperm throughout life but females have only a limited supply of eggs. I know that having a girl here and there that wants to participate in a sport won't work because there needs to be a full team or at least a valid opponent. That will result in encouraging girls who may not really be interested to participate in something that could have risks not yet identified. Personally, I am not willing to agree to that. I just don't think it's necessary. I know boys are more physically aggressive than girls from the outset. Girls will color, dance, play with toys quietly while boys prefer to move and poke and be more physical. I just don't think we ought to be pushing young females to be more aggressive. I prefer to aim more efforts at being less aggressive across the board.
Maybe I'm just old-fashioned and don't see it coming that genders will be interchangeable. I really don't think so. From what I have quoted in previous blogs, I think there are differences between males and females and it's supposed to be that way, for everyone's best benefit. If I have a granddaughter or great granddaughter who really wants to wrestle or play football, I will try to attend their event as much as I try to support any and all of my posterity. But I won't go out of my way to root for girls participating in contact sports.
Thursday, February 14, 2019
Gender- the big picture- Part 1
I have been pondering, praying, discussing and researching the subject of gender: purpose, reality, and recognition. To begin, I always defer to the One who has greater knowledge and wisdom than any human. Truth is knowledge of things as they are, and as they were, and as they are to come;...The Spirit of truth is of God... The glory of God is intelligence, or in other words, light and truth....He that keepeth his commandments receiveth truth and light....Intelligence, or the light of truth, was not created or made, neither can be. All truth is independent in that sphere in which God has placed it, to act for itself, as all intelligence also, otherwise there is no existence. In addition, all truth will fit together. If it's true, it exists outside of individual opinion or preference and will work for the best for ALL.
I have titled this "part 1" because I think it's going to be longer than what I have time to write in one sitting, and probably longer than anyone reading wants to devote in one sitting.
I am volunteering in our local library several times a week- not to restock books or anything like that, but to read to young children or allow them to practice reading to me, to help younger school-age children with homework, and to sit in on a conversation with non-native English speakers so they can practice the language. In this last instance, we use lists of suggested questions on specific topics to initiate discussion. Currently, the topic is gender roles: in your culture who is head of the household, are there jobs that are limited to one gender or another, what behaviors/emotions are acceptable for one gender in public and not the other...etc. I have spent literally YEARS pondering the purpose of gender. During the "women's lib" movement, I went to Seneca Falls (the birthplace of women's suffrage in the US) for a women's convention. I participated in lots of discussions about the value and meaning of gender. Before that, I resented any kind of treatment by males that indicated I was in any way inferior, including the well-meaning chivalrous gesture of opening doors for me. (I can open my own door- thank you very much! Which, as it turns out, was really a slap in the face to some innocent man who only wanted to do something kind. I'm sorry now.)
And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion.... So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth, and subdue it....the Lord God said, It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him an help meet.. God didn't just make a work partner for man nor a slave. He made a female for him to have as a companion and to provide a way to be fruitful and multiply. In the New Testament, we have the writings of Paul which can sometimes seem complicated but he said in 1 Corinthians 11: Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord. For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all things of God. More recently, words of modern day prophets in The Family, A Proclamation to the World: marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and...the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children. All human beings- male and female- are created in the image of God...Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose....God's commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force....the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife...
So basically, if we acknowledge God's existence and make the effort to learn from Him through study of scriptures (writings of prophets) and through prayer (whisperings of the Holy Spirit), we can learn that He made gender on purpose in humans based on the characteristics we had before birth . So there is definitely a difference between male and female, even beyond testosterone and estrogen, breasts and uterus and penis and testicles. I understand that all humans are different, including our views on the existence of God and His nature and opinions. It has been my personal experience that anyone who has a sincere desire to know if God exists and is willing to give up their pride to accept what He might teach them, that person can know for him/herself by asking God directly. Because He wants us to become like He is, He doesn't want clones or puppets. He wants us to gain our potential to be wise, intelligent, and powerful like He is. God our Father in Heaven and His Only Begotten Son Jesus Christ, are male. Yet, He declared that man should not be alone and chose to make for him a companion who was also made in a Godly image, but female. The two united, together, is how the human race is to be multiplied. There needs to be BOTH.
I have titled this "part 1" because I think it's going to be longer than what I have time to write in one sitting, and probably longer than anyone reading wants to devote in one sitting.
I am volunteering in our local library several times a week- not to restock books or anything like that, but to read to young children or allow them to practice reading to me, to help younger school-age children with homework, and to sit in on a conversation with non-native English speakers so they can practice the language. In this last instance, we use lists of suggested questions on specific topics to initiate discussion. Currently, the topic is gender roles: in your culture who is head of the household, are there jobs that are limited to one gender or another, what behaviors/emotions are acceptable for one gender in public and not the other...etc. I have spent literally YEARS pondering the purpose of gender. During the "women's lib" movement, I went to Seneca Falls (the birthplace of women's suffrage in the US) for a women's convention. I participated in lots of discussions about the value and meaning of gender. Before that, I resented any kind of treatment by males that indicated I was in any way inferior, including the well-meaning chivalrous gesture of opening doors for me. (I can open my own door- thank you very much! Which, as it turns out, was really a slap in the face to some innocent man who only wanted to do something kind. I'm sorry now.)
And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion.... So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth, and subdue it....the Lord God said, It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him an help meet.. God didn't just make a work partner for man nor a slave. He made a female for him to have as a companion and to provide a way to be fruitful and multiply. In the New Testament, we have the writings of Paul which can sometimes seem complicated but he said in 1 Corinthians 11: Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord. For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all things of God. More recently, words of modern day prophets in The Family, A Proclamation to the World: marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and...the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children. All human beings- male and female- are created in the image of God...Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose....God's commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force....the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife...
So basically, if we acknowledge God's existence and make the effort to learn from Him through study of scriptures (writings of prophets) and through prayer (whisperings of the Holy Spirit), we can learn that He made gender on purpose in humans based on the characteristics we had before birth . So there is definitely a difference between male and female, even beyond testosterone and estrogen, breasts and uterus and penis and testicles. I understand that all humans are different, including our views on the existence of God and His nature and opinions. It has been my personal experience that anyone who has a sincere desire to know if God exists and is willing to give up their pride to accept what He might teach them, that person can know for him/herself by asking God directly. Because He wants us to become like He is, He doesn't want clones or puppets. He wants us to gain our potential to be wise, intelligent, and powerful like He is. God our Father in Heaven and His Only Begotten Son Jesus Christ, are male. Yet, He declared that man should not be alone and chose to make for him a companion who was also made in a Godly image, but female. The two united, together, is how the human race is to be multiplied. There needs to be BOTH.
Saturday, February 09, 2019
My greatest desire
As a young mother, one of my biggest thrills was a smile on my baby's face, then later laughter and hugs and kisses from my baby. Every sleepless night or battle with a rebellious child or panic at the sight of blood or temperature reading over 103 is easily mitigated by a squeal of delight when you give just the right gift or announce an exciting event to your child. As children get older and bigger, problems get bigger and joy is more fleeting and hard to come by. As I pray for each of my children and their children every day, I find it hard to avoid repetition. It's also difficult to know just what to pray for. With experience and maturity, I have learned that pain, sorrow, frustration, and disappointment are not to be simply prayed (wished) away. They are an unavoidable part of mortal life. You cannot bear a child and not have pain. You cannot watch a loved pet die and not feel sorrow. You cannot try to pass a test or learn how to play the tuba without frustration. You cannot ask that special someone to prom and not feel disappointment when they turn you down.
God, with His great wisdom, has declared there must needs be opposition in all things. You cannot comprehend pleasure if you have never known pain. You cannot feel true joy if you don't know the meaning of sorrow. I get it. So what do I wish/pray for my children and grandchildren? There are plenty of songs, poems, and adages that express appropriate things like strength, peace, determination, success, etc. But, it all comes down to CHOICE. The only way someone is going to feel peace is if they seek it. Strength will not come to someone who does not desire it enough to work for it. Determination is certainly an individual choice. Success will be different for different people. So, I have decided that all I can truly hope for, work for, and pray for is to be in the best place I can be by being the best person I can be to be worthy of being with those who are the best they can be because it's what they want. Interesting- that's what God hopes for. His work and glory is to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. He allows each and every one of His offspring the right to choose for themselves who they want to be but His hope is that we will all choose to be the very best we can be so we can manage to exist in peace and harmony and eternal happiness with Him and all who want to be like Him and His Only Begotten Son. It's simple but not easy.
God, with His great wisdom, has declared there must needs be opposition in all things. You cannot comprehend pleasure if you have never known pain. You cannot feel true joy if you don't know the meaning of sorrow. I get it. So what do I wish/pray for my children and grandchildren? There are plenty of songs, poems, and adages that express appropriate things like strength, peace, determination, success, etc. But, it all comes down to CHOICE. The only way someone is going to feel peace is if they seek it. Strength will not come to someone who does not desire it enough to work for it. Determination is certainly an individual choice. Success will be different for different people. So, I have decided that all I can truly hope for, work for, and pray for is to be in the best place I can be by being the best person I can be to be worthy of being with those who are the best they can be because it's what they want. Interesting- that's what God hopes for. His work and glory is to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. He allows each and every one of His offspring the right to choose for themselves who they want to be but His hope is that we will all choose to be the very best we can be so we can manage to exist in peace and harmony and eternal happiness with Him and all who want to be like Him and His Only Begotten Son. It's simple but not easy.
Monday, February 04, 2019
The shocking tale of Uzza
In 1 Chronicles chapter 15 we read about King David recovering the ark of the covenant. As it is borne in a cart pulled by oxen, the oxen stumbled and one of the drivers by the name of Uzza reaching out his hand to steady it, so it wouldn't fall. And the anger of the Lord was kindled against Uzza, and he smote him, because he put his hand to the ark, and there he died before God. Startling as this may be, the Lord had tried to warn the children of Israel that the ark was a very sacred thing. In Numbers 4 He said the sons of Kohath shall bear it; but they shall not touch any holy thing, lest they die. Whoa- that sounds pretty serious for simply "touching" something. More recently, the Lord echoed this warning in the Doctrine and Covenants, section 85: While that man, who was called of God and appointed, that putteth forth his hand to steady the ark of God, shall fall by the shaft of death, like as a tree that is smitten by the vivid shaft of lightning.
What is it exactly that God is telling us? Why the seeming extreme threat for a seeming harmless act, and in the case of Uzza, even attempting to "help"? In more recent years, we have had the advantage of having prophets, seers, and revelators give insights into what these incidents and warnings mean for each of us children of God as we make our way through mortality. Just as the story of the wounded man passed by those who were supposed to be "righteous" (priest, Levite) then helped by someone who was shunned by pious Jews (Samaritan) was intended to open eyes to understand who our neighbors are that we are to love as ourselves- the story of Uzza is intended as a warning for those who feel they have authority to "steady the ark". God is in charge and can steady His own ark. Today, we have a living prophet on the earth. Anyone who wants to know if Russell M. Nelson is truly a prophet of God, they only need ask the source of his authority- God. From that point, they know from God's words how to treat what the prophets say: What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word shall not pass away, but shall all be fulfilled, whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same . So, it doesn't matter what our less educated logic or less perfect knowledge dictates, God has an opinion and has declared it to us. If it is truly our desire to obey Him, we cannot question the direction of His servants. We do not have the authority, no matter how "good" our intentions, to steady the ark. If the prophet appears to be in error, we are better off going to our knees and asking God about it than to voice our opinion and make the effort to convince others of our superior reasoning. We are not to be dumb sheep or blind followers. I could quote several scriptures showing quite the contrary. We are to study it out in our minds, read God's words in the scriptures, and pray. It must sadden God to see protestors waving signs and appearing superior to voice their notification that there is "something wrong" with the guidelines given. Families are truly ordained of God and are most ideal when having a mother and father to raise children. Taking substances into our bodies that can promote addiction is not wise. Attending church and the temple regularly is not for God's benefit but for each individual who follows His admonitions to do so. We do not need to correct God, but correct ourselves.
What is it exactly that God is telling us? Why the seeming extreme threat for a seeming harmless act, and in the case of Uzza, even attempting to "help"? In more recent years, we have had the advantage of having prophets, seers, and revelators give insights into what these incidents and warnings mean for each of us children of God as we make our way through mortality. Just as the story of the wounded man passed by those who were supposed to be "righteous" (priest, Levite) then helped by someone who was shunned by pious Jews (Samaritan) was intended to open eyes to understand who our neighbors are that we are to love as ourselves- the story of Uzza is intended as a warning for those who feel they have authority to "steady the ark". God is in charge and can steady His own ark. Today, we have a living prophet on the earth. Anyone who wants to know if Russell M. Nelson is truly a prophet of God, they only need ask the source of his authority- God. From that point, they know from God's words how to treat what the prophets say: What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word shall not pass away, but shall all be fulfilled, whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same . So, it doesn't matter what our less educated logic or less perfect knowledge dictates, God has an opinion and has declared it to us. If it is truly our desire to obey Him, we cannot question the direction of His servants. We do not have the authority, no matter how "good" our intentions, to steady the ark. If the prophet appears to be in error, we are better off going to our knees and asking God about it than to voice our opinion and make the effort to convince others of our superior reasoning. We are not to be dumb sheep or blind followers. I could quote several scriptures showing quite the contrary. We are to study it out in our minds, read God's words in the scriptures, and pray. It must sadden God to see protestors waving signs and appearing superior to voice their notification that there is "something wrong" with the guidelines given. Families are truly ordained of God and are most ideal when having a mother and father to raise children. Taking substances into our bodies that can promote addiction is not wise. Attending church and the temple regularly is not for God's benefit but for each individual who follows His admonitions to do so. We do not need to correct God, but correct ourselves.
Friday, February 01, 2019
More about what we want
As ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another's burdens, that they may be light; Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life---
As I continue to ponder just exactly what I want, or what each human wants in general, and what that means, I consider these words of the prophet Alma (Mosiah 18:8-9) which are in context usually thought of in terms of deciding to be baptized. What he's saying is that, in order to choose to be baptized and have it mean anything, it needs to be a result of these desires:
*entering the fold of God and be called his people- What does it mean to want to enter God's fold and be one of His people? First, there needs to be an acknowledgement that He exists and that you want to be with Him, both among those here on earth who want to be His people as well as for eternity. In order to do that, we must acknowledge His supremacy, His authority, and His love for us that we reciprocate. We must find out who He really is, not what we choose to imagine Him to be.
*willing to bear one another's burdens, that they may be light- One of the most comforting phrases of scripture involves taking upon us His yoke (meaning Christ) which is light. The image is that when we share a yoke, like oxen do, we share in whatever load we may bear, distributing the effort needed. There isn't a tally list of who is carrying how many pounds compared to someone else. We have all experienced how the burden can shift. Sometimes we are sick or tired and someone else has to take a little more of the burden. Sometimes someone else is unable to carry much for awhile so it shifts to us. The main point is that each of us as individuals must be willing to take this burden, regardless of how much and for how long. Christ bore a burden none of us can even comprehend, and He did it willingly even though it was really, really hard. We will never be expected to carry that much, but we do need to be willing to carry what we can when we can.
*willing to mourn with those that mourn and comfort those who stand in need of comfort- The tricky part of this is to first be able to even recognize when someone needs comfort. Obviously, when a child falls and scrapes his knee and cries, we respond by hugging him and bandaging his wound. But, what about someone going through a divorce who must keep going to work, cleaning their house, preparing food for the children or whatever? We are constantly encouraged to be more "self-reliant" but that's not just so we can puff out our chest with pride saying, "I don't need anybody's help. I've got this." If we have sufficient for our needs, we are in a better position to help someone else when they have needs. That may not always be readily apparent, like in a disaster or trauma. Sometimes it may be having difficulty landing a job resulting in a feeling of little or no worth. It may be a rejection by a friend at school. It's important to not always think that others should comfort us but find our own source of inner strength enough to be able to offer at least a little something to someone else- to be willing to comfort and share the burden of sorrow.
*to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places even until death- The emphasis here is ALWAYS! I don't think this requires us to spend countless hours on street corners shouting out phrases about God. It doesn't even mean never talking about anything "less holy". I think what it means is that we need to be conscious of what image we are projecting to others. We may not even be aware that someone is watching/listening to us but it's rare that, if there is any other human around, no one is paying any attention to us at all. How do we be witnesses of God? The obvious is bearing a testimony- an admission that we believe He exists and is aware of us. Beyond that, we need to let others know how we know that. We need to be willing to share (when appropriate) experiences, feelings, understandings that we have concerning being a child of God. We need to show by our behavior that we know God is aware of us and we want Him to be pleased with our thoughts, words, and deeds. Beyond that, we need to accept that we are imperfect and we know that God knows we are imperfect yet He loves us and cheers us on even if we feel incapable. His work and glory is US and our success in becoming like Him! If He is so wise and capable, how can we have doubts that He doesn't have about our own abilities?
There are lots more scriptures about what it means to be in God's fold and what is needed to enter His kingdom but this is a good list to consider. Repenting is a 24/7 thing. We are always "becoming" something or other. We are headed wherever it is we "desire" to go.
As I continue to ponder just exactly what I want, or what each human wants in general, and what that means, I consider these words of the prophet Alma (Mosiah 18:8-9) which are in context usually thought of in terms of deciding to be baptized. What he's saying is that, in order to choose to be baptized and have it mean anything, it needs to be a result of these desires:
*entering the fold of God and be called his people- What does it mean to want to enter God's fold and be one of His people? First, there needs to be an acknowledgement that He exists and that you want to be with Him, both among those here on earth who want to be His people as well as for eternity. In order to do that, we must acknowledge His supremacy, His authority, and His love for us that we reciprocate. We must find out who He really is, not what we choose to imagine Him to be.
*willing to bear one another's burdens, that they may be light- One of the most comforting phrases of scripture involves taking upon us His yoke (meaning Christ) which is light. The image is that when we share a yoke, like oxen do, we share in whatever load we may bear, distributing the effort needed. There isn't a tally list of who is carrying how many pounds compared to someone else. We have all experienced how the burden can shift. Sometimes we are sick or tired and someone else has to take a little more of the burden. Sometimes someone else is unable to carry much for awhile so it shifts to us. The main point is that each of us as individuals must be willing to take this burden, regardless of how much and for how long. Christ bore a burden none of us can even comprehend, and He did it willingly even though it was really, really hard. We will never be expected to carry that much, but we do need to be willing to carry what we can when we can.
*willing to mourn with those that mourn and comfort those who stand in need of comfort- The tricky part of this is to first be able to even recognize when someone needs comfort. Obviously, when a child falls and scrapes his knee and cries, we respond by hugging him and bandaging his wound. But, what about someone going through a divorce who must keep going to work, cleaning their house, preparing food for the children or whatever? We are constantly encouraged to be more "self-reliant" but that's not just so we can puff out our chest with pride saying, "I don't need anybody's help. I've got this." If we have sufficient for our needs, we are in a better position to help someone else when they have needs. That may not always be readily apparent, like in a disaster or trauma. Sometimes it may be having difficulty landing a job resulting in a feeling of little or no worth. It may be a rejection by a friend at school. It's important to not always think that others should comfort us but find our own source of inner strength enough to be able to offer at least a little something to someone else- to be willing to comfort and share the burden of sorrow.
*to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places even until death- The emphasis here is ALWAYS! I don't think this requires us to spend countless hours on street corners shouting out phrases about God. It doesn't even mean never talking about anything "less holy". I think what it means is that we need to be conscious of what image we are projecting to others. We may not even be aware that someone is watching/listening to us but it's rare that, if there is any other human around, no one is paying any attention to us at all. How do we be witnesses of God? The obvious is bearing a testimony- an admission that we believe He exists and is aware of us. Beyond that, we need to let others know how we know that. We need to be willing to share (when appropriate) experiences, feelings, understandings that we have concerning being a child of God. We need to show by our behavior that we know God is aware of us and we want Him to be pleased with our thoughts, words, and deeds. Beyond that, we need to accept that we are imperfect and we know that God knows we are imperfect yet He loves us and cheers us on even if we feel incapable. His work and glory is US and our success in becoming like Him! If He is so wise and capable, how can we have doubts that He doesn't have about our own abilities?
There are lots more scriptures about what it means to be in God's fold and what is needed to enter His kingdom but this is a good list to consider. Repenting is a 24/7 thing. We are always "becoming" something or other. We are headed wherever it is we "desire" to go.
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