Many people are aware of the team-building exercise done by blindfolding a person and having them fall backward, trusting that someone will catch them. It can also be used to teach people what faith is. The basic idea is that, since faith is a belief in something or someone you cannot see, you just have to let go and trust.
I heard a similar story about a youth conference exercise where the youth were blindfolded then given a rope to hang onto and told to walk forward through a wooded area, not being able to see. In this case, the idea was like Lehi's dream in the Book of Mormon where there was a tree with desirable fruit and a rod of iron to guide you there but also mists of darkness as well as taunting people in a nearby spacious (meaning plenty of these kind of detractors) building trying to get people to let go of the rod. In the story of this experience, there was a young woman who was stumbling and bumping into things as she tried to follow wherever the rope was leading. Her brother had volunteered to whisper in her ear to try to distract her. He told her that she looked foolish and nobody else was actually doing this. He invited her to let go of the rope and go with him. She did- for a moment. Then her bishop called to her and asked her to come to him. She fumbled her way back to find the rope then followed it until reaching him and fell into his waiting arms, relieved to be protected by someone she could trust. This exercise was intended to encourage the youth to hold onto their faith, the rod being the Word of God, no matter who said what and despite sometimes having their view obstructed.
In both of these stories, there is a flip side- not only is it important to determine who to trust, it is also important to be worthy of trust. If that bishop had been grumpy, mean, or worse (like some priests showing up in the news these days), the girl would not have wanted to go to him. If a person is a part of a team they can't trust, they won't want to fall backward without knowing who will catch them. We can trust the Lord because we come to know Him through prayer and scripture STUDY (not just reading parables). He loves us unconditionally and enough that He suffered beyond what we can understand to pay the price of justice for our weaknesses and mistakes. We can trust Him because He is worthy of trust. If we want others to feel that way about us, we must be of such a degree of integrity that they can trust us. They know we will do what we say we will do. They know we won't deliberately hurt them (accidents happen sometimes). They know they can feel comfortable with us.
I just thought there were two sides to look at and we can learn from both views.
Tuesday, October 23, 2018
Friday, October 19, 2018
Whose will do we want?
I recently heard of an experience I found very interesting. Detecting truth, honesty, and being able to trust are serious challenges in these days of "fake news" or whatever you want to call it. I remember the musical "The Music Man" about traveling salesmen who will claim just about anything to make a sale then they make a quick getaway. These days deception can come in person, on the phone, in the mail, or on the internet. People lose their life savings, their reputation, and hope because of malicious hackers or greedy, self-centered people. I have made it a matter of purposeful prayer nearly every day that I will never mislead anyone. I know I make mistakes and sometimes remember things wrong or misinterpret so I could easily give someone false information without intending to. I just have to keep praying and do my best to be frank about what I really know and what I may think is correct. One thing I know due to so many experiences, some of which I have shared in previous blogs, is that God exists, He sends ministering angels to comfort, guide, and warn people, and that Jesus Christ is an essential part of the plan for all of God's children to progress through His atoning sacrifice as well as His teachings. So, the experience I want to relate- to the best of my recollection:
A man working for the Secret Service explained training the organization receives from the Treasury Department for recognizing counterfeits. Because counterfeiting is an "art" done by many different people and can be altered anytime, studying counterfeit bills and documents is less effective than studying genuine currency. The agents spent countless hours studying truth so when faced with un-truth, they could spot it, even if they didn't immediately recognize why it wasn't right. The man speaking likened this to spiritual truth. We can read or listen to atheists or criticisms of religion but that will only cause us to flounder. It doesn't really help us to know what is true. We have a promise that God will answer prayers to Him. We can talk to people, read books, and search the world to know if He's real and what He wants us to do. We will get lots of opinions and suggestions. The only way to know, is to pray for ourselves with an open mind and a heart willing to act on whatever He answers in humble obedience. If we do that, we can know if God is real and "what church" is right. There are millions of churches that well-meaning people have started to gather like-minded people to be guided toward further enlightenment. They can't all be correct. Only God knows for sure what God wants us to know and to do. He will share that with anyone who can honestly say, "Thy will be done."
A man working for the Secret Service explained training the organization receives from the Treasury Department for recognizing counterfeits. Because counterfeiting is an "art" done by many different people and can be altered anytime, studying counterfeit bills and documents is less effective than studying genuine currency. The agents spent countless hours studying truth so when faced with un-truth, they could spot it, even if they didn't immediately recognize why it wasn't right. The man speaking likened this to spiritual truth. We can read or listen to atheists or criticisms of religion but that will only cause us to flounder. It doesn't really help us to know what is true. We have a promise that God will answer prayers to Him. We can talk to people, read books, and search the world to know if He's real and what He wants us to do. We will get lots of opinions and suggestions. The only way to know, is to pray for ourselves with an open mind and a heart willing to act on whatever He answers in humble obedience. If we do that, we can know if God is real and "what church" is right. There are millions of churches that well-meaning people have started to gather like-minded people to be guided toward further enlightenment. They can't all be correct. Only God knows for sure what God wants us to know and to do. He will share that with anyone who can honestly say, "Thy will be done."
Thursday, October 18, 2018
Being who you are
Someone once told me that she enjoyed drinking alcohol because it helped her to relax so she could "have fun and not be self-conscious". I understand that removing inhibitions can be freeing. All my life I have heard of "happy" drunks and "angry" drunks- people whose inhibitions were removed and the "real person" was exposed-?? Recently I witnessed someone who had consumed enough wine to remove inhibitions about a personal experience she would not have normally talked about. It had been a frightening experience and brought up bad memories and feelings, resulting in (under the influence) telling things she later regretted having disclosed as well as causing an outburst of anger she also later regretted. The incident definitely had an impact on the group at the time, causing much sympathy and sorrow as well as consternation about how to relate to her. It caused me to reflect on whether "removing inhibitions" does more damage or good.
Inhibitions are the self-imposed limits we use out of fear of exposing our inner self or fear of judgment by others. When we give in to enough fear of others, we end up never really being whoever we are- putting up a facade so no one can ever know the real person behind the mask. I knew someone like that. It caused me a great deal of sorrow when, after many years, she said, "I'm not who you think I am." I had not judged her in any negative way. In fact, I guess I believed good in her that she didn't even believe herself. It is often said that people will live up to or down to your expectations of them. I still believe great things of this person and she is slowly achieving the characteristics I believe in. The problem with over-use of inhibitions is that we end up being a very deceitful person; others don't have the opportunity to know us and often we haven't even figured out for ourselves who we really are. I remember being frustrated toward my dad. He was such a peaceful person who avoided contention that he would almost change personality and opinion to fit in with whoever he was with. My mother often commented that the only way she would sometimes be able to know things is by listening to him talk to other people. We all want others to like us, accept us, and want to be with us. However, it is not really healthy for relationships or for our own self-awareness to try to be a chameleon. Alcohol and drugs can artificially remove safety limits. (Recent public forums have opened up about previously hidden sexual practices causing all kinds of anger, hurt, and embarrassment.) We all make mistakes, but we make even more when we remove safety limits. True, sometimes it is preferable to let sleeping dogs lie so to speak. If nothing is to be gained by dredging up hidden things, let them remain unspoken. If we are overly inhibited, using chemicals to remove our limits is not wise. It is healthier to acknowledge our fears and work to overcome them rationally step by step. If we have difficulty trusting others, we should start small by opening up to admit our honest opinions or flaws to at least one person we feel close to. Once we feel accepted for who we are, we can admit to having weaknesses or making mistakes then add any feelings of regret and desire to improve. Things not expressed don't disappear because we are trying to hide them. The effort expended to hide things about ourselves can have undesirable results: others determine we are deceptive, we forget who we told what lie to resulting in panic about what to say, we can even exaggerate in our own minds how faulty we are resulting in unnecessary self-loathing.
Being open and honest does NOT require simply exposing all our warts. None of us is ALL bad. It's essential in healthy self-awareness as well as relationships with others to acknowledge who we are as well as who we want to be. I may say regrettable things when I am tired or ill but I need to later apologize and admit that I didn't want to be snippy or mean. I may be trying hard to be better but I can pat myself on the back for the progress I have made so far while at the same time accepting that I haven't gotten there yet. How many great artists would there be if people stopped when they made their first crude drawing or played their first scale? I have heard the advice to smile, even if you don't feel like it because by smiling you will eventually feel better. It's true, but only if we sincerely WANT to be pleasant and happy. If our desire is to be angry at the world or ourselves, it's important to recognize that and decide if that's the way we want to stay, or if we want to improve. The world can't be faulted for not really knowing us if we don't ever show our real selves. We also can't improve if we never recognize where we are now.
Inhibitions are the self-imposed limits we use out of fear of exposing our inner self or fear of judgment by others. When we give in to enough fear of others, we end up never really being whoever we are- putting up a facade so no one can ever know the real person behind the mask. I knew someone like that. It caused me a great deal of sorrow when, after many years, she said, "I'm not who you think I am." I had not judged her in any negative way. In fact, I guess I believed good in her that she didn't even believe herself. It is often said that people will live up to or down to your expectations of them. I still believe great things of this person and she is slowly achieving the characteristics I believe in. The problem with over-use of inhibitions is that we end up being a very deceitful person; others don't have the opportunity to know us and often we haven't even figured out for ourselves who we really are. I remember being frustrated toward my dad. He was such a peaceful person who avoided contention that he would almost change personality and opinion to fit in with whoever he was with. My mother often commented that the only way she would sometimes be able to know things is by listening to him talk to other people. We all want others to like us, accept us, and want to be with us. However, it is not really healthy for relationships or for our own self-awareness to try to be a chameleon. Alcohol and drugs can artificially remove safety limits. (Recent public forums have opened up about previously hidden sexual practices causing all kinds of anger, hurt, and embarrassment.) We all make mistakes, but we make even more when we remove safety limits. True, sometimes it is preferable to let sleeping dogs lie so to speak. If nothing is to be gained by dredging up hidden things, let them remain unspoken. If we are overly inhibited, using chemicals to remove our limits is not wise. It is healthier to acknowledge our fears and work to overcome them rationally step by step. If we have difficulty trusting others, we should start small by opening up to admit our honest opinions or flaws to at least one person we feel close to. Once we feel accepted for who we are, we can admit to having weaknesses or making mistakes then add any feelings of regret and desire to improve. Things not expressed don't disappear because we are trying to hide them. The effort expended to hide things about ourselves can have undesirable results: others determine we are deceptive, we forget who we told what lie to resulting in panic about what to say, we can even exaggerate in our own minds how faulty we are resulting in unnecessary self-loathing.
Being open and honest does NOT require simply exposing all our warts. None of us is ALL bad. It's essential in healthy self-awareness as well as relationships with others to acknowledge who we are as well as who we want to be. I may say regrettable things when I am tired or ill but I need to later apologize and admit that I didn't want to be snippy or mean. I may be trying hard to be better but I can pat myself on the back for the progress I have made so far while at the same time accepting that I haven't gotten there yet. How many great artists would there be if people stopped when they made their first crude drawing or played their first scale? I have heard the advice to smile, even if you don't feel like it because by smiling you will eventually feel better. It's true, but only if we sincerely WANT to be pleasant and happy. If our desire is to be angry at the world or ourselves, it's important to recognize that and decide if that's the way we want to stay, or if we want to improve. The world can't be faulted for not really knowing us if we don't ever show our real selves. We also can't improve if we never recognize where we are now.
Tuesday, October 09, 2018
Ruts
Our brains are who we are- they contain memories and instigate ideas as well as cause action in any part of our body from our mouth to our feet. When we do or think something repeatedly, the neural pathway created is strengthened, like forming a habit- A leads to B leads to C, etc. I am grateful for modern technology. My family is spread all over the world and without the internet I would be hard-pressed to keep up regular or quick communication with my children, grandchildren, or siblings. I have found Facebook to be a handy tool for group communication and have enjoyed seeing pictures and have gotten important messages through this tool. However, my biggest objection to Facebook is that it tends to deepen neural pathways that may be unhealthy to us. For instance, if someone has had a bad experience with another person, often they begin to distrust or even dislike other people based on a similar characteristic: gender, ethnicity, political view, occupation, religion, or even name! On Facebook, the algorithm used connects us repeatedly with things we choose to "like" and avoids things we don't express a preference for. As a result, we may read a disproportionate number of items which support our view while avoiding a wider perspective. This process tends to enhance disparity and prejudice. Rather than be introduced to a little different line of thinking, we are more deeply entrenched in our habitual reaction; justified in our current prejudice.
Facebook is not the only bad influence leading to toward prejudice. A similar result occurs in people who never leave their neighborhood/town/state. They develop the idea that there is only one way to do or think so when faced with someone different, they immediately feel threatened or repulsed. When we participate in cordial, respectful albeit lively discussions with people of a different view, it can be very educational. We broaden our understanding and become less self-centered or even contentious as we consider that, just maybe, we don't always know everything. We formulate opinions every day and that's as it should be. Without opinions we are lacking a firm foundation and can be easily misguided or feel lost. However, it is helpful to at least consider another's view that may be different from our own. I don't care for the hairstyles of some of my grandchildren but I enjoy talking to them and appreciate their honesty, compassion for others, and willingness to help. I don't always agree with political views of others but I like to hear their justifications in order to broaden my understanding of the issues. I may not dress or eat like someone else does but it's enlightening to know there are options beyond what I have known. Roses, daisies, daffodils, lilacs, pansies- they're all beautiful and different from each other. There is no need to attempt to establish which is superior, no competition. They're all uniquely wonderful.
Facebook is not the only bad influence leading to toward prejudice. A similar result occurs in people who never leave their neighborhood/town/state. They develop the idea that there is only one way to do or think so when faced with someone different, they immediately feel threatened or repulsed. When we participate in cordial, respectful albeit lively discussions with people of a different view, it can be very educational. We broaden our understanding and become less self-centered or even contentious as we consider that, just maybe, we don't always know everything. We formulate opinions every day and that's as it should be. Without opinions we are lacking a firm foundation and can be easily misguided or feel lost. However, it is helpful to at least consider another's view that may be different from our own. I don't care for the hairstyles of some of my grandchildren but I enjoy talking to them and appreciate their honesty, compassion for others, and willingness to help. I don't always agree with political views of others but I like to hear their justifications in order to broaden my understanding of the issues. I may not dress or eat like someone else does but it's enlightening to know there are options beyond what I have known. Roses, daisies, daffodils, lilacs, pansies- they're all beautiful and different from each other. There is no need to attempt to establish which is superior, no competition. They're all uniquely wonderful.
Saturday, October 06, 2018
He IS there
I understand that, in world population numbers, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is definitely a minority. That's okay. During the mortal ministry of Jesus Christ two millenia ago and for a number of years afterward, there were very few "Christians". Being a part of the majority, or being "popular" has nothing to do with truth. Every human being on the face of the planet is unique. We all like different things, do different things well, and believe at least slightly different things. That doesn't mean truth doesn't exist. It just means not everyone has arrived at its realization. That's okay, too. We are eternal beings inside these tabernacles of clay. Our mortal bodies may be slowly deteriorating but the spirit that quickens that body- the part who makes us who we are- will last forever. I know there are lots and lots of people in the world who don't believe that Jesus Christ was born in Bethlehem or believe that He was actually the son of Mary and God and certainly that He was actually resurrected or suffered to atone for all of our sins and weaknesses, big or small. That doesn't mean it's not true. I know there are even lots of people who don't believe God exists, much less that He loves every one of us and has hopes for our development. That's okay. The day will come when every single person who has lived or ever will live will know for themselves that God exists and "every tongue (will) confess that Jesus is the Christ". There is truth to be found, if anyone is interested. God will answer prayers that are asked with a sincere intent to act upon His answers. He doesn't have to "prove" Himself to anyone. He doesn't have to be "popular" to exist.
I am truly grateful that God has taken an active part in my life, even during times when I didn't understand who He is and what He expects or hopes. I am grateful now that I have been given the incredible gift of the Holy Ghost to whisper guidance, comfort, and knowledge when I seek. I am overflowing with the desire to share what I know, to convince everyone to read the Bible, then pray to know if God is there, then ask what He would have them do, then follow promptings (which will surely come) to seek out His truths which will lead to reading the Book of Mormon and obey God's commandments in making commitments, participating in ordinances (like baptism) to make covenants with Him which will lead to repentance and a change of heart. This planet has a great deal of beauty but mankind has been polluting it, and I'm not talking about our garbage or air quality. It could be so much more peaceful, pleasant, comfortable, and just plain happy. I guess I just have to wait until after Christ comes to rule and reign for a millenium then cleanse it for the final time.
I am truly grateful that God has taken an active part in my life, even during times when I didn't understand who He is and what He expects or hopes. I am grateful now that I have been given the incredible gift of the Holy Ghost to whisper guidance, comfort, and knowledge when I seek. I am overflowing with the desire to share what I know, to convince everyone to read the Bible, then pray to know if God is there, then ask what He would have them do, then follow promptings (which will surely come) to seek out His truths which will lead to reading the Book of Mormon and obey God's commandments in making commitments, participating in ordinances (like baptism) to make covenants with Him which will lead to repentance and a change of heart. This planet has a great deal of beauty but mankind has been polluting it, and I'm not talking about our garbage or air quality. It could be so much more peaceful, pleasant, comfortable, and just plain happy. I guess I just have to wait until after Christ comes to rule and reign for a millenium then cleanse it for the final time.
Wednesday, October 03, 2018
Ethics
I wonder if ethics/morality has always been as hot an issue as it seems to be right now. There are so many scenarios on my mind resulting in bewilderment. I sincerely wish I could sit down with a group (not too large) of people, all of different backgrounds and political opinions to talk it out, hopefully peacefully although there would likely be strong emotions in the process. I'm glad there are people who stick up for females who have been misused, sexually or otherwise. I am also glad there are people who stick up for people, no matter their station in society, who have been accused without proof. I am not glad that too many will listen to opinions given by celebrities and get very upset over statements made to generate support-whether political or financial or greater fame. I am not glad that too many people are willing to jump on bandwagons and react due to prior judgments made about general categories of people (gender, political leanings, envy, personal experiences that may or may not even be the same) screaming and carrying signs stating obvious general statements.I am not glad that some people will "stand by their man" no matter what he or she has done, wanting to claim only the good without being willing to admit the bad.
The world is very open and available these days which is a good thing and a bad thing. I'm grateful that dictators, immoral leaders or celebrities, and those motivated by any criminal intent can no longer hide- at least not for long. Witnesses can cry from distant, strictly controlled regions of the world and get attention. In some cases, threats can be distinguished simply by openly informing the public. On the other hand, when someone chooses to take advantage of a willingness to speak and act out against wrongdoing, they only have to insinuate an action taken by someone at some time in their life, even if repented of. I am in no way trying to promote a limit to justice. If a murderer is caught 50 years later, there should certainly be a severe consequence paid. On the other hand, if a person did something stupid, even reckless when young and has done their best to repent, never doing the wrong deed again, they should not be vilified. How can anyone who has committed a crime ever get beyond it? How can ex-cons ever get a job? I believe in justice, but also mercy.
I don't want to focus on just one area of morality. I actually determined to compose this blog due to the aftermath of Hurricane Florence. I don't want to single out any one person or try to judge anyone, my quandary is mostly- what would I do?? What would I do in the place of any survivor? What would I do in the place of government or private agencies that have to put policies in place? There are funds available to those who have experienced loss. There are insurance claims left and right, many being denied due to large deductibles (chosen by insured who were trying to save on monthly expenses) or to a fine print exclusion for their situation. ( I understand that insurance companies need to make a profit to survive.) There are people who rush in to "help"- some sincere and others hoping to take advantage of desperate people. I am aware of personal situations of people who lost everything but their lives and whatever they had with them. Their way to make a living has been destroyed. They no longer have a home and no place local to spend long periods trying to "get back on their feet", small business owners whose property and inventory is all gone. On the other hand, there are people who may have been fairly inconvenienced but they haven't really experienced a major loss. On the other hand, there are those who were quite well-to-do before the hurricane (or other disaster) and may have "lost" a considerable amount of money worth of property but have no difficulty "surviving"- only being able to live according to their custom of lifestyle. It will just take a little time for them to make enough money and buy enough stuff to recover. This has caused me to reflect on another difference between socialism and capitalism. I believe people should be able to work hard to "get up in the world" and chase their dreams. On the other hand, I believe having property all over the world, several cars, and worldly goods beyond even the imagination of someone in parts of Africa, South America, Asia, island nations etc, is a bit over the top. Why should someone make billions of dollars(more than most people would even know how to spend) a year when there are people who have nothing? How should a billionaire be stopped or even limited from making more money? On the other hand, why should someone who could work and is unwilling or unable due to personal bad choices (drug addiction comes to mind) expect someone else who is working hard to support themselves and their children to give them a hand-out?
I really wish I could have a sincere, caring discussion about how to recognize the right and wrong in every situation. I look forward to gaining wisdom. I think it will take eternity.
The world is very open and available these days which is a good thing and a bad thing. I'm grateful that dictators, immoral leaders or celebrities, and those motivated by any criminal intent can no longer hide- at least not for long. Witnesses can cry from distant, strictly controlled regions of the world and get attention. In some cases, threats can be distinguished simply by openly informing the public. On the other hand, when someone chooses to take advantage of a willingness to speak and act out against wrongdoing, they only have to insinuate an action taken by someone at some time in their life, even if repented of. I am in no way trying to promote a limit to justice. If a murderer is caught 50 years later, there should certainly be a severe consequence paid. On the other hand, if a person did something stupid, even reckless when young and has done their best to repent, never doing the wrong deed again, they should not be vilified. How can anyone who has committed a crime ever get beyond it? How can ex-cons ever get a job? I believe in justice, but also mercy.
I don't want to focus on just one area of morality. I actually determined to compose this blog due to the aftermath of Hurricane Florence. I don't want to single out any one person or try to judge anyone, my quandary is mostly- what would I do?? What would I do in the place of any survivor? What would I do in the place of government or private agencies that have to put policies in place? There are funds available to those who have experienced loss. There are insurance claims left and right, many being denied due to large deductibles (chosen by insured who were trying to save on monthly expenses) or to a fine print exclusion for their situation. ( I understand that insurance companies need to make a profit to survive.) There are people who rush in to "help"- some sincere and others hoping to take advantage of desperate people. I am aware of personal situations of people who lost everything but their lives and whatever they had with them. Their way to make a living has been destroyed. They no longer have a home and no place local to spend long periods trying to "get back on their feet", small business owners whose property and inventory is all gone. On the other hand, there are people who may have been fairly inconvenienced but they haven't really experienced a major loss. On the other hand, there are those who were quite well-to-do before the hurricane (or other disaster) and may have "lost" a considerable amount of money worth of property but have no difficulty "surviving"- only being able to live according to their custom of lifestyle. It will just take a little time for them to make enough money and buy enough stuff to recover. This has caused me to reflect on another difference between socialism and capitalism. I believe people should be able to work hard to "get up in the world" and chase their dreams. On the other hand, I believe having property all over the world, several cars, and worldly goods beyond even the imagination of someone in parts of Africa, South America, Asia, island nations etc, is a bit over the top. Why should someone make billions of dollars(more than most people would even know how to spend) a year when there are people who have nothing? How should a billionaire be stopped or even limited from making more money? On the other hand, why should someone who could work and is unwilling or unable due to personal bad choices (drug addiction comes to mind) expect someone else who is working hard to support themselves and their children to give them a hand-out?
I really wish I could have a sincere, caring discussion about how to recognize the right and wrong in every situation. I look forward to gaining wisdom. I think it will take eternity.
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