Practice, practice, practice

     Most of the training we are doing here in the Nauvoo temple involves practice. I learned a saying several years ago: "Repetition is the mother of learning." I was pondering the concept of practice as I watched people, most of whom have way more experience in temple ordinances than I have, repeat words fairly easily. I'm also training in the office so I spent some time on a computer recording information. It wasn't difficult or complex. Fortunately, mistakes are fairly easily corrected. I know I'll get it without a real strain. Russ has spent a lot of hours practicing the piano in an effort to teach himself how to play. He has sometimes been really frustrated at the mistakes he makes. I understand that feeling and know that when I have to repeat words I need to say I will probably get frustrated with myself if I make mistakes.
     Jesus admonishes us, "Be ye therefore perfect even as your Father in Heaven is perfect." Lots of times the reaction to that commandment is total dismay. Somehow we tend to feel that we are so far from perfect that we are abject failures, unworthy to be with God or Jesus. Perfection is NEVER attainable in an instant for anybody in anything. Dreamy-eyed girls sometimes look at a good-looking boy and state that he's "perfect". I have heard jealous comments about people who are accomplished in an area claiming they are worthy of being hated for being "so perfect." Perfection, like beauty, is definitely in the eye of the beholder. How can any human being be considered "perfect"? I may have expressed this in a blog long ago, but I think we have an erroneous idea of what the Lord means when He tells us to be perfect. The scriptures speak of Jesus Christ as having been the only man who was perfect. I really don't think that means he never spilled his drink as a little child. I also don't think it means he never cried or fell down or felt disappointment. Is it really important that we never color outside the lines or tear our clothes? Is it at all reasonable to expect that we can play Chopin flawlessly the very first time we sit at a piano? So, if that isn't how we define perfection, how do we strive for such a state of being?
     Jesus experienced pain, sorrow, even temptations. He probably learned the carpenter trade from Joseph and maybe made some good things in the years before He began His ministry. But He probably also made some things that weren't as good as Joseph's, especially when He was young and just learning. So, in what way was He perfect and how can we be like Him? I also learned long ago that you haven't failed until you choose to quit trying. I think Jesus didn't quit anything. Even in the Garden of Gethsemane when He was experiencing such anguish no human can comprehend it, He asked His Father to let the cup pass from him (meaning it was really, really difficult and He would be okay with a change in plans), then went on to say, "Nevertheless, not my will but thine be done." He went on to endure the mocking, scorns, beatings, ridicule, suffering until He bled at every pore, having nails driven into His body- but never quit. It really doesn't matter how many wrong keys we play on the piano. It doesn't matter how many words we forget. It doesn't matter if we get too tired to finish the race today. It only matters that we don't QUIT. There will be bumps in the road throughout our life. Our challenge is to keep going- get up when we fall down- rest when we need to- but keep going. Some people will be better looking than we are. Some people will be smarter or more skilled or talented. It doesn't matter. What matters is that we work with whatever we have and avoid making excuses to give up. We can be like Jesus- kind, helpful, forgiving, patient, humble- maybe not all at once or right away. That doesn't matter. What matters is that we just keep plugging away. That way, when we meet Him face to face, we can say without hesitation, "I gave it my best." That's all that matters to Him and that's all that should matter to us.

Being unique

     I had no idea how "unique" I was. I have mentioned that there aren't that many temple missionaries, which I hadn't realized before. I might have mentioned that most of the temple missionaries are coming from working in other temples, although not as full-time missionaries. Russ and I were occasional officiators way back when we went to the Toronto temple- 15 or 20 years ago. But unlike most of the temple missionaries here as well as the ones we met in training in SLC before coming here, we have never been regular temple workers. Now, to add to the "uniqueness", Russ is a temple engineer missionary. There are even fewer of those. Lots of temples have full-time paid engineers to keep the building in top shape. Here there are 3 full-time paid guys and 3 missionary engineers. One of the missionary engineers here arrived a month or so ago and the other has been here a few weeks longer than that. Russ and I arrived about the same time as the whole crew of temple missionaries who will be officiators all the time. They will all be leaving in 6 months. We are here for 18 months. They have all left houses somewhere that they intend to return to. We are "homeless" for the foreseeable future.
     The "new" missionaries are all on a training and orienting schedule this week while the temple remains closed for cleaning and maintenance. Russ is missing out on most of that because he is staying busy doing engineer stuff. The other 2 wives of temple engineers have been here longer than I have and are not on the list for the various activities on the schedule. Yesterday I was the only person who went on a bus tour of Nauvoo alone among all the couples. Today we did a session in the temple so we could all be introduced to the building. None of us had ever been through the building. However, among the crowd, I was the only one who has never been a temple officiator. Again, I was also the only one without my spouse because he was somewhere in the basement or something.
     And now, to avoid having to train so many different people to help, there has been a request for engineer's wives to be trained to work in the temple office- answering phones, recording information, assisting the presidency and other workers. So, between training for officiating I am now training to work in the office which means I sometimes have to scurry away or totally miss some of the things other temple workers are doing. This morning I was the only missionary out exercising alone because Russ has to be there really early and spends time enough on stairs and on his feet so isn't interested in getting up earlier than 5:45 to have time to exercise. Next week, when the temple is open, I'm not sure when I'll exercise or if Russ will go with me. I am enjoying the quiet, peaceful atmosphere of Nauvoo and the weather has been gorgeous. I'm glad to be here. I'm still trying to find my place.

Enjoying good

     The sun is shining and it's reasonably warm today in Nauvoo. For lunch, the missionaries who have been here for awhile each hosted at least one new couple. The little houses are within walking distance of each other though not really close. As Russ and I set out to walk to our host's lunch, we could see couples strolling along up and down the streets, all headed to lunch somewhere. It gave us an idea what it may have been like here 60 years ago or so when the Saints had succeeded in draining the swamp and building a lovely, friendly town. I could imagine people walking around town on a lovely spring day, visiting with neighbors. No tvs or computers or noisy vehicles- just smiling, peaceful citizens enjoying the weather and each other's company.
     Here in Nauvoo there are missionaries assigned to man the historic sites (we had thought we might get to do that but not this time), missionaries to welcome visitors at the visitors center, missionaries who perform in the pageants held in July, and missionaries who work in the temple. Most of the people here are our age or older. Last night at a dinner held in the nearby church for all temple missionaries a couple was applauded for being "young" temple missionaries- in their late 50's. Most people need to be retired to be free to spend all their time for 6 months or more serving as missionaries. Everyone here has volunteered and we even pay our own expenses, including rent although the price is incredibly cheap. But these people are so good to be around! Everyone here would do anything for anybody including giving the shirt off their back. After last night's dinner it was just mentioned that we needed to prepare the building for church in the morning and as soon as the closing prayer was over, everyone went into action. We had all the tables, leftover food, empty dishes, and chairs all cleaned up and re-aligned within just minutes. I wish the whole world would be this way. Can you imagine not needing lawyers or even policemen? When asked how he managed to get the Latter Day Saints to work so hard and be so unified, Joseph Smith said, "I teach them correct principles and they govern themselves." If every individual on the planet treated other people the way they would like to be treated and everybody was willing to live by reasonable guidelines just to prevent collisions, it could be so much more pleasant than it is right now. If we all did our best to avoid anger, prejudice, hatred, revenge, lust, envy, strife, and sloth (laziness), everybody could have a lovely life of peace and happiness.
     Years ago, in the 70's, Russ and I longed to find a commune where we could live in peace sharing things and working together. Just wanting to live together in peace won't result in such bliss. Each individual person has to be personally committed to control their own passions, willing to do what they can to apologize or make amends when they have caused a problem, and willing to work as hard as they are able to cover their share- not comparing or judging others in order to justify jealousy or resentment. This sounds like an impossibility to most people. Not to me. I have decided I will do my very best to live as a member of such a society and hope to show others that it's possible to inspire them to do the same. I'm far from perfect but that's okay. I am working toward an ideal goal and it will probably take eternity but I'm closer today than I was 10 years ago. I'll just keep heading in this direction and do what I can to encourage others to do the same.

Adjusting

     Our life has been in many "temporary" conditions in the past 10 years or so. We feel like full-time visitors. Don't get me wrong. We love our little apartment here in Nauvoo and we couldn't ask for nicer neighbors. I have a couple of family pictures I brought with me so I have them where I can see them. It's just strange to know we will only be here 18 months then we have no idea where we'll be. It is certainly a way to give me an insight into what some of my children feel as they move from place to place to place having a combination of personally selected items that stay with them in places that don't belong to them so they are limited on what they can do with them. That isn't a totally bad thing either. When you're a full-time renter, you don't have to worry about major issues like plumbing or appliances. When you get right down to it, we are all just here temporarily. Even when we claim to "own" property, the day will come when we die and we can't take it with us. It will belong to someone else. We just get to use and abuse it for awhile. The whole earth is that way. We planted a huge garden in NY many years ago and all our efforts just provided was food for woodchucks and deer for awhile until we got a dog. Now the house we struggled, with the help of family and friends, to build belongs to someone else and they are changing it.
     Just as the name of the play by Kaufman and Hart says, "You Can't Take it With You". We spend so much time acquiring, taking care of, and worrying about things that are even more temporary than our mortal lives. Do my shoes match this outfit? Do I need to buy different ones? Does this car have too much rust or is it out of style? Should I change my front door? What tools would I like to have that I don't yet own? I'm sure you get what I mean. Through wars, hurricanes, fires, earthquakes, or floods, there are some things that stay with us: our relationships, our knowledge, our character. Those are the truly long-lasting things of life yet they often receive only snippets of our attention. Rather than reading or watching news about some obscure movie star, we would be better off wondering about our family members. Better yet, we should pick up a phone or pen with paper or log onto the computer and communicate with a family member or even a long-time friend. Watching movies is fine but it's beneficial to study history, science, or even hone a skill. There is a warning in the Bible about worrying about a mote in someone else's eye while ignoring the beam in your own. It really doesn't benefit anyone to gossip or judge. Exchanging information about someone else's needs, even if all you can provide is prayer and encouragement, will do more for your character than simply sharing shocking news and giving opinions about someone else's life.
     Having all of worldly belongings in a faraway storage space for the third time in our married life has definitely influenced our perspective on what's really important. We are grateful to have missed the experiences of destructive losses others have endured, like flood, fire, divorce, or war. We are also grateful that we are gaining some wisdom about "stuff". We can sincerely say we would go on just fine without any of the things we have with us or even without any of the stuff in our storage space in AZ. We can sincerely say we don't have any burning desires to win a shopping spree or in any way add to the "stuff" we currently own. We have been blessed in many ways by many people and have tried to share whatever we have when given the opportunity. God has watched over us as we have been struggling to gain the wisdom to know what to value. He has seen to it that we have always had a roof over our heads, food in our bellies, clothes to cover our nakedness, and a "pot to pee in" (as the old saying goes). Everything else is extraneous, but nice icing on the cake.

Engineer wife

     We have been here for nearly 5 days now and are slowly getting settled. We have cleaned, repaired  or replaced nearly everything we need to for now. Russ will decide what to do about his guitar later. We found out how unique our position is when we were in training in SLC. (There are only 67 out of the 140+ temples in the world that have temple missionaries. All the rest are manned by local members.) Now that we are here, we are discovering even more uniqueness about our position. Since most of the activity in the temple occurs in the summer, when people come here during vacation, most of the temple missionaries here are called for only 6 months. The only ones here for longer are the engineers, of which Russ is one of only 3. He has hit the ground running since arriving here! We arrived Sunday night, spent Monday trying to get at least some of our stuff put away, running the washing machine all day, and returned the U-Haul trailer, then Tuesday morning at 6:30 he was on his way up to the temple where he has spent all day every day since then. He has been replacing safety tread on the steps to the baptismal font, tightened bolts on seats and chairs, replaced light bulbs, worked on major "plant" machinery, and I don't know what else. In the meantime, I have been taking a daily walk trying to orient myself to our new neighborhood, continuing to clean and organize, and spent time on the phone working out insurance claims from our little accident. Today I plan to walk up to the family history center to see if there is any hope for finding information about my great-great-great grandfather's family who came from Ireland during the potato famine.
     Yesterday I had a pleasant day with the other 2 engineers' wives driving to a nearby town, across the Mississippi, to do some shopping. My main goal was to take my broken sewing machine to see if it could be fixed. I haven't gotten word yet as to a prognosis. From what I have learned so far, Russ has the least formal education of all the engineers but is definitely not without a great deal of hands-on training and knowledge which enables him to be a great asset. Since the temple is closed for 2 weeks for cleaning and maintenance, Russ and the other engineers are working full-time. The wives of the engineers are not yet working in the temple because there are no patrons to assist since it's closed. Most of the other temple missionaries have taken the opportunity to go away for visiting people (family mostly) or sightseeing. We will have some local orientation temple training next week and all be involved in that after the 35 or so new temple missionary couples arrive sometime today.
     It feels like a dream to me. I suppose once I have been here longer and have a more regular schedule, it will seems more real. The other missionaries have been warm and helpful, but that's what I would expect knowing these are people who have made covenants with God respecting their behavior and character. I have found local people in stores and such to be very friendly and pleasant. I don't know whether that is just their nature or they are reacting to my missionary name tag. I hope it's a combination of both. I like to think there are good people out there who strive to be kind to others just because. I also like to think that people around here have had dealings enough with Nauvoo missionaries and have found them to be nothing but pleasant. I plan to do my part to be a "light unto the world". I am trying to be Christlike; trying to show a better way than many in the world would show. That's not because I am showing off in any way. I just want everybody to live by the Golden Rule because the whole world would be a much better place if everybody treated everybody the way they would like to be treated themselves. Jesus is a good example to follow.

God is good

     Okay- so I'm a wimp. We sat in the motel in Rawlins checking the roads every hour or so and figuring out how to use our time since we couldn't leave. We had decided to go to a 4:00 movie then checked the internet again around 3 before going to the movie and were shocked to see the roads had opened. Within about 5 minutes we had loaded what items we had in the motel, checked out, and were on the road. I was happy to let Russ drive. Driving east from Rawlins we went through the Elk Mountain area. We were one of the very few non-semi vehicles on the road. The snow was heavy at times but the roads were fairly passable as long as you were willing to drive about 25-30 mph. Russ drove several tense hours until we cleared the bad weather. I drove for a few hours until after 9 pm. I was more nervous than I expected I would be. I guess having been pulled off the road with the trailer affected me more than I realized. I had stayed reasonably calm while sliding around and off the road but I was now tensing up every time the trailer swayed a little. We stopped for the night and in the morning it was raining, sometimes pretty hard. Russ took the wheel and, because the weather never cleared, he drove us the rest of the way through Iowa to Nauvoo. If I had tried to drive, it would have taken an extra couple of hours because I would not have been able to maintain the speed he drove. I am grateful he is such an experienced driver and I could depend on him.
     As we approached Nauvoo, I phoned another missionary couple to bring us a key and get us into our apartment. It was after 5 pm and raining still when we arrived. The welcoming couple were standing in front of our new home under an umbrella, smiling as we approached. I had been asking the Lord for 2 things, that it not be raining so it would be miserable to unload and that we not be in the upstairs apartment. This little house has two downstairs apartments and one upstairs. (This picture was taken a day later when it was nicer and earlier.) Well, it was raining and when I asked which apartment was ours we were told it was the upstairs one. So, I figured the Lord didn't think my request was essential for His intervention. The missionaries asked if we wanted help unloading. At first we said we would just wait until morning since it was, after all, the Sabbath, and it was raining. They explained that the temple was closed the next 2 weeks for deep cleaning so most of the other missionaries were going to be going away, leaving in the morning. It seemed that it would probably be a better idea to go ahead and call in the troops and get the car and trailer unloaded. As soon as the decision was made, it stopped raining.

     True to form for a Latter Day Saints moving experience, within moments we had a small crew grabbing items and hauling them up the stairs. We soon found out that these apartments were some of the largest, which was a concern when considering bringing our food storage and digital piano. This house is just about the nearest one to the temple so it will be a convenient "commute"- walking for 10 minutes when the weather is good. I guess the Lord was listening and caring more than I gave Him credit for, and He always knows more than we do. He may not answer us in the way we expect or even think we want at the time, but it will be even better than we planned.

This is the view not far from our house. The people have been totally hospitable. Since the temple is being worked on, Russ (as an engineer) is going to be busy all day every day. He is helping with new safety tread on the steps into the baptismal font and will change lightbulbs, clean chandeliers, and whatever needs to be done. I am staying busy continuing to clean sugar, flour, gravy, mud, and whatever off everything so it can be put away. There is a shower but no tub so I took a shower with our largest suitcase that couldn't go in the washing machine then set it outside to dry. At this point, the only thing left to clean is Russ's tool pouch. Due to all of the outside pockets and the fact that the zipper across the top is never closed, all of his tools will need to be washed individually then dried and oiled so they won't rust. That's going to take quite awhile. Fortunately, he doesn't need any of them right away because the temple has lots of good tools. Oh, and I discovered my sewing machine will need either repair or replacing. I will take it to a larger town tomorrow and find out what a sewing machine repairman would advise. I just found out from a missionary seamstress where the closest repair place is and within a few hours of getting that information, one of the other temple engineer's wives (having no knowledge of my need)offered me a trip to the town. It's about an hour away. Now my solo trip to find my way in an unfamiliar place has turned into a fine outing with a couple of other women, lunch included! God is good and He loves us.

Continuing adventure

When we got up this morning, we looked out the motel window hoping the weather had cleared. Not so. We got dressed and had some breakfast then went over to the U-Haul place to assess the damage. This first picture is what we saw when we unlocked and opened the door to the trailer.

      Emptying the trailer was quite an ordeal. It was like a doing a puzzle only backwards. To add to the ordeal, it was still snowing and the ground was very muddy. I tried to capture the mud caked heavily on my sneakers but it didn't show up well so I didn't bother posting the photo. Since we had to sort through stuff to determine what needed to be discarded, we couldn't merely move everything from one trailer to the replacement trailer. Plus, we always try to put the light stuff close to the tongue and heavier items near the door which meant that we had to get to the back of the trailer to get what we wanted to load first. The U-Haul people were kind enough to let us temporarily borrow a larger trailer as an intermediary sorting space up out of the mud. We slowly and carefully started removing items that looked like they had been through a huge food processor. There was pasta, herbs and spices, spaghetti sauce, flour, sugar, and chicken gravy as well as Comet cleanser and dish soap splattered over various things. Just before leaving Arizona, Russ had purchased a new toaster because he had coveted the one Victoria had. It was one of the items tossed because it got bent up pretty badly. Our biggest concern was our digital piano (Clavinova) which was our primary reason for taking a trailer and also our most expensive belonging with us. It was only slightly damaged. We haven't plugged it in to be sure it works but other than a tear on the bench and the broken pieces where you insert discs, it looked okay. It had obviously been tossed around pretty hard because there were items underneath it which we had not loaded that way. The saddest loss was Russ's guitar, for mostly sentimental reasons. He has had it a long time and loves playing it. It got smashed. It had been on the top of the pile which at one point ended up the bottom of the pile before getting righted again. We don't plan to claim any of the food or smaller items that filled U-Haul's dumpster after 3 hours of sorting but we'll see if our auto insurance will cover the guitar and toaster. We'll have a LOT of laundry to do when we finally get to Nauvoo. I tried to wipe off some things with rags as I went but it soon became impossible. I got to laughing when I tried to get out of the back of the trailer because my shoes were so caked with mud and the bottom of the trailer was coated with chicken gravy, mud, and flour. I had to take off running to get to the door or my feet simply slid backward!

     So this second picture shows the original trailer with the broken wheel on the left, the larger "sorting" trailer in the middle and the newly loaded trailer on the right.
What struck me the most today was how grateful I am to live in this age. When the pioneers crossed the plains in wagons or pulling handcarts, they didn't have a nice, warm motel to shower and sleep in. If they broke a wagon or spilled things in the mud, they couldn't look forward to an apartment with a washer and dryer to clean up their clothes and dirty items when they arrived at their destination. We have a pretty cushy life.
     Maybe tomorrow the roads will be open and we can continue our journey east.

Excitement on the road

     The spring storm that unloaded several inches of snow in Utah was headed east and we managed to catch up with it in Wyoming. Russ drove the car past Evanston and over the worst of the mountains then we stopped for gas and I took the wheel, which is the way we usually travel- each of us driving about half the time. Winds picked up after awhile with signs over the road warning of gusts up to 35-40 mph and warnings that Route 80 was closed over 100 miles ahead. We kept going because although there was snow in the air it wasn't building up on the road. I slowed down and didn't use the cruise control.  The road conditions slowly worsened with some icy slush building up. About 3:00 and an hour west of Rawlins I drove onto a bridge (bridges freeze before road surfaces, right?) and the car wheels swerved a bit. If I had not been towing a trailer, I could probably have managed to correct. But the trailer started swaying violently then the wind caught it. I took my foot off the gas and kept trying to correct the swerving wheels but the trailer swung us over to the side of the road and down a steep embankment. One of the trailer wheels broke off, the trailer broke loose from the car, and the trailer flipped all the way over. We ended up with the car undamaged, we were unhurt, the trailer righted itself but had a wheel broken off, in the bottom of the ditch between the highway and an on-ramp. We got out of the car to assess the damage and Russ offered to try to drive the car out of the ditch which I gladly let him do. By backing up a bit and getting it parallel to the slope, he was able to get up on the ramp. Then with flashers on, he slowly backed down the shoulder of the on-ramp and we ended up at a nearby gas station. After calls to U-Haul, our auto insurance company, a towing company and the police, we were back on the road headed to Rawlins. By this time it was after 5 and the U-Haul place was closed for the day. The tow truck later delivered the damaged trailer to the U-Haul place and we had gotten a room in a motel for the night. We opted to wait until morning to open the trailer, knowing that the items inside might be leaning up against the door and might fall out once we opened it. The insurance company seems willing to cover the cost of the trailer as well as any goods inside that might be damaged, which include our Clavinova (electric piano), Russ's guitar, and various items including some spaghetti sauce which may have broken and be all over everything. In the morning we will have to inventory any damaged goods.
     In summary, I'm glad we got a smaller trailer than we had brought from AZ because the wind would have ripped us all over the road sooner than it did. I'm grateful that our car is fine, we are fine, and our insurance company is so pleasant about it. I'm grateful that we have the funds to stay in a warm room (it's 30 degrees out on this April day) with comfortable beds to sleep on. I'm grateful that it all happened right next to an on-ramp rather than far out in the wilderness of Wyoming somewhere. I'm grateful that through all my swerving, we didn't hit anyone else and no one hit us. We haven't had opportunities the past couple of weeks to have our usual Sunday popcorn and ice cream but we happen to have a couple of bags of microwave popcorn with us. We just went up the road a ways and bought a pint of ice cream and some plastic spoons. I'm grateful the motel room has a microwave (and free wi-fi) and some cups to put our ice cream in which we ate while enjoying Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune on tv. The trip to Nauvoo will take a little longer than we planned but that's okay. We are safe, well-fed, and still glowing from our incredible 3 days in the Salt Lake Temple. God is good. He loves us.

The last training day

     Today is the middle of April but it sure hasn't looked like it here in Utah. Fortunately for us (unlike the missionary couple headed to Hawaii) we are prepared for winter so we had coats and, thanks to friends in Sun City, a nice big umbrella. Russ and I were actually delighted to see and walk in snow! We haven't done that very much in the past 4+ years we have lived in Sun City, Arizona! We much prefer snow to 120 degrees. My only disappointment was that I didn't have my gloves with me because I really had the urge to build a snowman- or something akin to it.

Early this morning, we trudged on over to the Salt Lake temple from our hotel and had a heavenly day.
     Have you ever lingered someplace when you didn't want "the moment" to end? That happened for 16 temple missionaries today. This was our 3rd and final day of training before we all go our separate ways. We are all headed to temples, which will certainly be wonderful, but the sweet, peaceful feeling we had in the Salt Lake temple was about to fade with each step out into the world. I mentioned yesterday that there were temple missionaries in about half of the LDS temples in the world. Today the significance of that deepened for me. I guess the ultimate goal for the Church is for each temple (about 144 so far) to be fully supported by "local" people, staff and patrons. But for now there are areas where the population is insufficient (like Palmyra NY and Nauvoo IL- both historical site temples in sparsely populated towns), or the Church membership is small and lacking experience (Kiev Ukraine) or poor (Cebu Phillipines) enough that the Church sends older couples for support to keep the temples available. We were all dressed in nearly identical white clothing. There was no way to determine where people were from or how much money they make or what they do for a living or how big their families are. We were just a quiet, humble army preparing to serve. Our trainers were formerly president and matron of this temple and have served there for many years as well as serving as mission president and matron in England. Among our group there were two children of President Hinckley, the prophet who died not long ago and is/was beloved by millions of people, including Russ and me. Aside from the family physical resemblance of the son, you would not have known who they are. They are both humble, simple people who don't expect any special treatment or act superior in any way. They are every bit as likable as their father. Our little group of missionaries was treated like we are important. We were taught, counseled, given a tour of the temple from top to bottom (Russ's eyes lit up when we went down to the basement to see the real workings of the building- all spotlessly clean) and loved like family by everyone around us. I imagine it will be similar when we enter the presence of our Savior and His Father, whenever that happens.

Consecration

     Yesterday when Russ and I went to the church's huge conference center to see if we could get up to the roof, we had a young man offer to be our guide. We never got his exact age but I would guess he is in his 30's. We know he is married and has children, the oldest of which is 8. He says he "retired" recently, which shocked us. He apparently started a really successful business of some sort then decided to sell it, making him a rich young man. He now uses his time to mostly serve. He works in the temple a couple of days a week and serves as a church tour guide a couple of days a week, then spends time with his family. He doesn't seem to be interested in just acquiring and playing with all the "toys" you might expect a male of his age to be fascinated with.
     There are lots of people that choose to have faith to the extent that they want to "give their life to the Lord." In the Old Testament, you can read the story of Hannah who gave her son Samuel to the Lord. Most people have heard of Mother Teresa, a humble woman who spent her life serving poor people and never having an interest in accumulating worldly goods. In the temple, I (and many other people) have  chosen to make a covenant with the Lord that I would do all I could to serve Him and His children. We call it "consecration." Some could see it as fanatical and conjure up visions of drinking poisonous kool-aid or beheading people who believe differently or separating self from the world in general to live a life akin to the description of John the Baptist in the New Testament. There are lots of people who believe in God, in one form or another, but not so many who choose to offer their lives to Him. It's a little scary actually. I remember years ago talking to a "born-again" Christian and asking how to just let someone else make major life decisions for you. What if you don't like what He chooses? What if you have your own preferences?
     As we toured the huge Conference Center, I was awed by the building. But as I looked over at the smaller, older Salt Lake Temple, I was even more awed. It was built over a period of 40 years without the aid of any of the special equipment used to build the Conference Center. It incorporates countless hours of labor for countless people, some more skilled than others, but all consecrated volunteers. (For the picky historians who might read this, I admit there may have been some people who worked on the structure that maybe weren't even LDS, but most certainly were.) The precise carving in the stone on the outside along with the massive weight of the stones that were piled (NO MORTAR!) to form the famous structure, and the stunning wooden doors and beautiful stained glass windows- all in perfect symmetry and accuracy. But then when you go inside- WOW! Having done some plaster work myself (you can see work we did restoring a 100-year old brick Victorian house if you go back far enough in old posts on this blog spot) and knowing a little about the fine work my daughter Angela has done with stained glass, I just couldn't stop staring at the intricate handwork all through this old treasure. Okay, it's not as old as some of the cathedrals in Europe, but it was built with the same kind of tools used in cathedrals built many hundreds of years ago. The delicate many-colored painting (I'm sure there's an official term for it) on the formed and carved plaster decorations is breathtaking. There is none of the ostentatious gaudiness found in old cathedrals. It is just painstaking, intricate work done over long hours by consecrated hands. Money cannot buy the beauty seen in the Salt Lake Temple.
     After doing some temple work today, we went to the family history center. Here there is evidence of other consecrated work. Millions of people have spent countless hours searching through, photographing, recording, and deciphering old civil records to find connections to family members- sometimes not even their own family but somebody's family. There are genealogists who earn money doing what they do, but most of the people who have accumulated the records now available are simply good people- some old, some young- who gave of their time and energy to do what they could to gather information so families through the generations could be linked.
     Every time a new temple is dedicated, the youth of the region participate in a "cultural celebration". Again, nobody is paid. Hundreds of teenagers sing and dance in costumes made by volunteers in a program written by volunteers with lighting and staging done by volunteers. The youth celebrate the culture and history of their country or region thus being educated about their history. There is a greater appreciation for those who lived before them and suffered living conditions they only read about in history books.
     The Tabernacle Choir is well known and accompanied these days by the Orchestra at Temple Square- all consecrated, unpaid volunteers who spend hours and hours perfecting their skills to produce lovely music. During the 2002 Winter Olympics, it was widely reported by amazed media that nearly ALL the hundreds of participants in the extravagant musical productions here in Salt Lake City were local volunteers. They didn't have to go outside the area or hire professionals, even for the complex skating demonstrations. Also, rumor has it that there are more pianos per household in Utah than any other state and more harps than any other state. Children in the LDS Church starting at age 3 speak in public giving short "talks" then grow up to give longer talks in front of larger groups.
Talents, all talents in general, are gifts from the Lord. We can choose to use them, improve them, and share them- or not. In the LDS Church, they are encouraged and it shows. I have long ago lost the singing voice I once thought might offer me a career of fame and fortune. I have long ago lost the supple physique that I loved to use to dance. Over the years, I have gained some skill playing the piano(not nearly a Vladimir Horowitz!) and am more confident at public speaking and organizing and managing groups of people. I will never be a name on everyone's lips or recorded in any books, but I am grateful for what talents the Lord has given me and I have consecrated all I have or will have to Him. I am not looking for applause- only a smile and a "Well done my good and faithful servant" from my Savior when I meet Him.

Day 1 of training

     So I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. Most of the couples we are training with have served for many years in temples and for several of them, this is their second or more time serving a mission. There are couples going to Brazil, Hong Kong, Costa Rica, Palmyra NY, Hawaii, along with one other couple going to Nauvoo. We are learning more about how temple work should be done and having wonderful question and answer sessions. The most striking thing emphasized so far is that our main goal as temple workers should be loving kindness. We should make every patron's visit as pleasant as possible. I love it that our purpose is to show love. I can do that! I may not be the most knowledgeable or serene or expert temple worker- but I can love the people who enter the temple! I found out that only about half of the over 140 temples in the world have fulltime missionaries serving in them. Every LDS member we meet is excited when we tell them we are going to the Nauvoo temple. It seems like everybody knows someone who is there, has been there, or wishes they could go there. Everybody tells us we are just going to LOVE serving there. As all the couple introduced themselves, we each told how many children and grandchildren we have and, all 16 couple added up, we had a combined total of several hundred loved ones we are "leaving behind." I didn't mention that we are looking forward to the incredible blessing of having our family all visit us! I am looking forward to serving the Lord but I am also really excited to see my children and grandchildren in Nauvoo in July.
     After our time in the training session, Russ and I walked around admiring the lovely flowers on Temple Square then watched some short church videos in one of the visitor centers then walked over to the food court at City Creek Center which is like a mega-outside-mall of downtown Salt Lake City. It's beautiful but we can't help but wonder how all the stores manage to stay in business. Then again, we wonder that every time we walk around a mall of any kind. It's a good thing nobody is dependent on Russ and me to make a profit! We never buy anything but food! So, I ended up with a gyro plate including lemon rice and salad which always reminds me of Lisa who used to go with me to buy Greek food because she loved it, too. Russ chose a steak sandwich and fries. The weather was beautiful today but I understand it's supposed to snow tomorrow. The missionary couple going to Hawaii isn't happy about having to walk a couple of blocks from the hotel to the temple because they don't have any warm clothes with them! We're just happy not to be enduring the 90 degrees it's up to in Sun City already.
     One thing I have been pondering on quite a bit the past few days is that obedience is essential to our growth and development. It's connected to trust in the Lord. Faith is trust. If we don't have faith, we have doubts and we don't trust the Lord then we're not obedient. Then we pull away from the Lord as we try to determine on our own what to do. The result is more sin and less light and knowledge and happiness. God would have an immense number of opportunities to say the parental "I told you so" if He was like that. We ought to spend more time finding out more about Him and trying to gain some of His knowledge and wisdom.

I know we are loved!

We are now checked in our hotel for our stay while training at the Salt Lake City temple for our mission. We spent the last two nights at the home of this couple, Mike and Rebecca Allen. Mike baptized me when I joined the Church of Jesus Christ in November of 1974 and has continued to be a dear friend, along with his sweet wife. Last night we went out to a restaurant with them for dinner and met another couple, long time friends of theirs with whom they visited Israel not long ago. The woman of the couple was originally from New York state and was born just a month before I was. It was an exciting evening making new friends, even though we may never see them again. This morning we went to the broadcast of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and Orchestra at Temple Square, Music and the Spoken Word. It was so pleasant being in a familiar place we have not been in for a long time. The music was uplifting. I always prefer musical performance live when possible, as opposed to recorded in any form. There is something especially nourishing to the soul about being able to watch the faces of performers. I was touched by the enraptured faces of the orchestra and choir members whose only pay is blessings from the Lord and the satisfaction they are serving Him as they share their testimonies through music. I also had a bit of nostalgia observing the face of one of the violinists who looked remarkably similar to my Aunt Susie. 

      As we entered the tabernacle which was fairly crowded an usher suggested we go down to the front where there were some open seats. We ended up on the very front row. Shortly after sitting down, while the performers were having a short break before the actual start of the broadcast, we spoke to the couple seated next to us. To our pleasant surprise, they are going to be attending training with us starting tomorrow then will be working with us at the Nauvoo Temple! We had a lively, if somewhat brief, conversation, making more new friends.

     I know that there is a God in heaven and He knows every one of His billions of children, including Russ and me. Every day He offers us small, tender mercies to let us know He is aware of us. We often take them for granted, if we even notice them at all. Like  the perfect, loving parent that He is, He continues to love and bless us. We all have opportunities to feel His love through others and we each have the opportunity to let others feel His love through us- if we choose.

Straining to learn

     Any kind of growth can be tiring, discouraging, and daunting. Spiritual growth is included. There are some scriptures that allude to faith as a "gift" from God. I may be one who was given that gift. I can't really remember a time when I didn't believe in the existence of God. It has taken my whole life to try to understand exactly who He is and what He expects of me, but I continue to work at it. I like a quote from Saint Augustine, "Faith is to believe what you do not yet see; the reward for this faith is to see what you believe." I have heard others say similar things like, "Faith precedes the miracle."
Probably one of the hardest things about spiritual growth is gaining the understanding that NOT receiving what you want can be a greater indication of God's love than getting what you anxiously pray for, at times. I have formulated a saying of my own- "Love is NOT a cookie." It has struck me as I watch doting parents give kids all kinds of junk food because they beg for it. There is more concern for obesity among children these days than among adults- for the first time in history! The constant diet of pizza, chips, soda, and candy is NOT a way to show love. In fact, it's almost the opposite. Giving the kids stuff they want that causes problems for them that will take a lifetime to overcome is more a surrender to the parents' desperation to have the child love them than a sincere offering of love from the parent to the child. Most of us haven't figured that out yet. But that is the kind of wisdom God possesses. He really knows what would be best for each of us and sometimes that means suffering- as least that's the way we look at it. We need to learn patience so we can be patient with others and avoid being spoiled, miserable, demanding children. So He waits a bit before giving us what we so earnestly beg for. Sometimes He even has something better in mind for us so He doesn't give us what we want when we want it then later gives us something really wonderful. If He gives us everything we want when we want it, we become like the whining, obese child with a room full of toys. That might seem like the way to "buy" our affection but in the long run, it destroys our physical, emotional, and spiritual health. We need to understand self-control, self-denial, and how to avoid focusing on the treasures of the earth where "moth and rust" corrupt. Most of the things we want are fleeting, temporary wants rather than needs. The bumper sticker "He who dies with the most toys wins" is only a little bit funny because too many people really believe it's true rather than a joke. So, next time your child begs for the latest video game or electronic device, or next time you beg God for something to "consume it upon your lust", say to yourself, "Love is NOT a cookie."

Families can be together forever!

     About a week ago, I was pondering the dilemma of how to deal lovingly with someone who feels differently about same-gender attraction, marriage, and family. My deepest desire is to avoid contention yet I also have a desire to be faithful to my Savior. How do I love even my "enemies" when I can't agree with their philosophies? I know a loving mother/grandmother who has a son that is dealing with same-gender attraction. I know a sweet young mother who has separated from her husband/father of her two children, and lives with a man she is not married to. I know lots of really good people who have chosen to have intimate relations outside of marriage. But I know my Heavenly Father has advised, even commanded, that sexual relations should be between a man and a woman who are married to each other. Many people don't know or believe that. How can I stand firm without being accused of bigotry or close-mindedness or prejudice? So, knowing that General Conference was coming up, I decided to pray for guidance- through talks given by general authorities during conference. I knew they would be preparing their talks and I wanted to hear from the Lord with counsel beyond what the Bible and Book of Mormon offer.
     Today conference started and, incredibly enough (oh, ye of little faith!), there were 3 talks primarily about family/marriage/sexual relations. The Lord really does hear us and answers our prayers! So, first was President Boyd K. Packer (president of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles) who is getting on in years and not terribly healthy. It was a touching experience listening to and watching this older man speak with great effort about the exquisite joy of passion between a man and woman. He and his wife have been married for nearly 70 years. They aren't what the movies portray as a loving couple! But he didn't emphasize what choices of sexual relationships are wrong, he spoke about how right it is between a man and a woman who have been married to each other. He said it's not just a "part" of God's plan of happiness for His children, it IS the plan of happiness for His children. Whether or not we choose to agree doesn't change that. What we choose to do or believe does not change what is right and wrong. We can choose whatever we want to choose. God would prefer that we choose His way but it was repeated again and again in this session of conference that God will not compel us to choose anything.
     The second talk on the subject came immediately following President Packer's- from Linda K. Burton, President of the Relief Society. She spoke about the importance of husbands/fathers. She mentioned that there is much said these days about the independence of women and the implication that men are not necessary. She likened it to our left and right hand. They are not identical, in fact they are opposite. But they complement each other in a way as to make them more valuable together than either one separately. She didn't say anything about males preferring the company of males or females preferring the company of females. She only talked about how good it is that there is a difference and how important it is that we work together to utilize our differences for the good of ourselves and our families.
     Third was the apostle L. Tom Perry, 90 years young! He recently traveled with some other Church leaders to the colloquium held at the Vatican for religious leaders from all around the world. (Isn't it amazing?! I have trouble with jet lag and traveling and he's half again as old as I am!) The concern for these people, no matter what their religious background or belief, is the deterioration of the family. He said that the most efficient way to raise the next generation of any nation is the family. No one has found a better way. Children are less likely to live in poverty and more likely to gain education and success when raised in a household with a married mother and father. It's a fact- ALL OVER THE WORLD! There are sometimes imperfections in these physical bodies that prevent bearing your own natural children. That does not negate the ideal of a mother and father raising children. Not all adults choose to be high quality parents. That does not negate the ideal of a child having a mother and father who both love him/her and strive to teach all they know which is beneficial for the child's growth and development.
     The bottom line- males and females benefit most from striving to work together. Children derive the most benefit from a male and female parent working together to provide temporal necessities as well as mental and spiritual education. Add to that the fact that we can, if we choose, be a family unit throughout the eternities to go on growing, sharing, and loving each other. We get to choose!

How does He do that???

     I'm going to get a bit heavy for a moment. I have been pondering something I want to share. I would welcome anyone who reads this to research scripture references, pray, and ponder for themselves. I am not a prophet nor do I aspire to be so. I only desire to share insights when I have them and encourage others to do the same for me.
     Starting at the beginning: God created all things. In Genesis Moses recorded that God created the heavens and the earth and all things that in them are. We know that God sent His Son into the world that the world through Him might be saved. He must have been someplace before coming here in order to be "sent". In Moses 3 He says, "For I, the Lord God, created all things, of which I have spoken, spiritually, before they were naturally upon the face of the earth." Just as men have ideas and draw plans or blueprints, God created everything spiritually before He created it physically. One of my favorite scriptures is D&C 131:7-8: "There is no such thing as immaterial matter. All spirit is matter, but it is more fine or pure, and can only be discerned by purer eyes; We cannot see it; but when our bodies are purified we shall see that it is all matter." God works within what we call "natural laws"; miracles are only miracles to us because we don't yet understand how God does it. Just as the salad I ate today was not created out of thin air -seeds, nutrients in the soil, molecules in the air, energy from the sun- lots of different existing elements combined to make the spinach and other ingredients. God said, "Man was also in the beginning with God. Intelligence, or the light of truth, was not created or made, neither indeed can be. All truth is independent in that sphere in which God has placed it, to act for itself, as all intelligence also; otherwise there is no existence." (D&C 93:29-30) In summary, you and I and everything around us was not just pulled out of thin air. Everything encompasses previously existing (or eternal) particles which, through stages, were organized to "create" trees, hummingbirds, mountains, and us (from the "dust of the earth").
     Let's go from that principle of how everything is/was made to what we know about Jesus, during His mortal ministry on earth. Remember the story about Jesus' disciples with Him in a ship on the sea and a great storm arose? They were all frightened then Jesus "rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm. But the men marvelled, saying, What manner of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him!" (Matt. 8:26-27) We have stories of Moses parting the waters and many other stories of holy ones who could move mountains or stop the rain. We think of winds, waters, and mountains as being inanimate. How can they "obey"?  Even Mark 1:27 reports, "And they were all amazed, insomuch that they questioned among themselves, saying, What thing is this? what new doctrine is this? for with authority commandeth he even the unclean spirits, and they do obey him?"
     One last principle to consider, then I'll put them all together. God always stresses obedience. Why is it so important? The prophet Samuel told King Saul (1 Samuel 15:22), "Hath the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams." I don't want to make this longer than necessary so I won't type all of Romans 2:5-11, but it has good points in it. Later Paul warns the Romans that we are all servants to whom we obey. Peter also says in 1 Peter 1:14-16, " As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance (those things which occupied you before you chose to be a Christian): But as he (Christ)which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; Because it is written, Be ye holy: for I am holy." The Lord says (D&C 82:10) "I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise."
     So, everything is made up of spiritual matter, given different forms according to what God has chosen. Everything is obedient or not. As the highest order of all of God's creations, namely His children, we humans are capable of the greatest disobedience (just as teenagers are capable of more serious disobedience toward parents than an infant or toddler). He has given us the agency to make choices. When He placed man on earth he said He wanted to see if we would obey Him. Even things we think of as having no "will" of their own (likes winds, waves, and mountains) are capable of obeying or not obeying. God has given to/allowed only a few mortals the power and authority to have everything obey them as they would obey God or His Only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ. Yet He has said that if we do as He says (obey Him), He is bound. We will receive all that He has. We will be made joint heirs with His Son, for we are His children, too. Do you want the power to move mountains? Do you want the authority to stop storms? Those elements will only obey those who are recognized as worthy of the authority to command. Memorizing scriptures, lifting weights, donating to the poor and needy, or praying a lot is not sufficient. We cannot take this power and authority in any way. The only ones worthy are those who obey God to the extent they think like He does, they understand His will, they align themselves with His wisdom. God's ways are not man's ways neither is man's wisdom God's wisdom. Other men may never obey you, just as men choose not to obey almighty God, because we are stubborn, stiff-necked, rebellious, proud, and vain. Other elements on earth such as plants, animals, rocks, water, and air, are not capable of being disobedient. They will obey only God's authority. They will only obey any child of God who is like He is- Godly: patient, long-suffering, just, merciful, wise, kind, unchanging, worthy of all love and respect. As soon as we can be like that, we can stop storms and move mountains.

Zion???

     Latter Day Saints and non- LDS members have mixed feelings about Utah. I remember when we were going to move here in the mid-90's we were warned by several members in upstate NY that we would find problems in Utah. Despite the impact of having so many church members, there are aspects of Utah society that Jesus Christ would definitely not approve of. Don't get me wrong. I think there are some really great things about a community where the majority of people are law-abiding (except maybe in obeying the speed limit or using turn signals). My favorite part of being in Utah is the whole-hearted support of families/children. On the other hand, I find it almost repulsive that there is such an emphasis on vanity. There are countless orthodontists offering teeth straightening so your teeth can be beautiful and you can also make sure they are sparkling white. There are WAY too many cosmetic surgeons for those who feel their bodies aren't as perfect as they ought to be. Homes and yards go beyond neat and clean to being ostentatious in size, quality, and decoration.
     As Russ and I went for a walk this morning, we noticed that Starbucks was doing a fairly brisk business despite the counsel from church leaders to avoid caffeine. A woman at a crosswalk near us was smoking despite admonitions to not indulge in alcohol, drugs, or smoking. I'm not saying these are indications of evil. For the most part, they're signs of independence to the point of rebellion. All church leaders will freely admit that we each have a God-given opportunity to make our own choices, no matter what anybody advises. It occurred to me that conversion is a totally independent process not a group process. It doesn't matter where you live, when you live, who your family is, what your job is. Conversion is going to happen if and when you choose it. Conversion is a change of heart- to no longer prefer what YOU want when YOU want it, but to want what God wants because you know it's better- for you and everybody else. You may not always understand it. You may even not agree or like it at the moment. But turning your cheek for that other slap or bending your knees and bowing your head rather than proudly jutting out your jaw and defiantly declaring you will do what you want, that's conversion. Having a sincere desire to learn from God through His prophets and the Holy Ghost rather than through trial and error according to your own schedule, that's conversion. We all get to choose for ourselves.

Just so you know

     On the drive from Arizona to Utah, we stopped in Flagstaff for food and fuel. When leaving the gas station, I asked Russ which way he thought we should go. We knew we were on the right road. It was just a question of which direction to take to get to Route 89 north. In view of my last post and my confession of a "weakness" I have, you would think I was probably going to guess wrong. Well, that's what I thought. Russ and I didn't agree on which way to go and I figured with a 50-50 chance of being wrong on a direction, I was likely to be wrong. We asked a local and, to the amazement of both Russ and me, I WAS RIGHT!! I just had to let you know. Miracles do happen.