Yesterday was a day of spiritual and emotional highs and lows. The lows were concerning Dad, who has been feeling especially nauseous despite taking his anti-nausea medication since Thanksgiving as well as having diarrhea, and one of my granddaughters, Ellie, who has been spiking a fever over 104 degrees since Thanksgiving despite having been given an antibiotic for what they "thought" was scarlet fever. I don't yet know how those situations will work out. Dad certainly does not need to lose any more weight. He has his belt on the tightest hole and his pants still threaten to fall down. He was pretty unsteady on his feet.
Despite not feeling well, Dad wanted to go to church. It was definitely worth going! A nearby ward sent their Primary children over (Dad's ward is nearly all grey-haired) to do their sacrament meeting presentation. Although seeing the children made me ache for my grandchildren, it was a wonderful program. I tried to analyze what it is about children that warms most people's hearts. There is something about purity and innocence that touches us. We can watch the news and worry about crime, wars, hatred, danger, sickness, poverty....a whole host of ills, but seeing a baby smile or getting a hug from a toddler can still bring us joy. As I listened to the children talk about having faith in Jesus Christ, I thought about the many people in the world who would not believe their words. They would accuse adults around them of "brain-washing" them. I suppose there is a certain amount of brain-washing that goes on all the time with children. Vegetables are better for you than candy. Work is better for you than sitting and watching tv. Doing your homework will benefit you in the long run. Hitting back will only escalate the problem.
For me, I have made it a strict requirement that I teach only what I KNOW to be true. I never want to feel the anguish of having misled anyone, especially an innocent child. I know there is a God. I have felt His influence and heard the still, small voice of His spirit. I know Jesus Christ atoned for my sins and those of anyone else who chooses to accept His gift. God can only dwell with those who WANT to be with Him- those who would choose to give up their rebellious nature, accept His guidance, and prefer His ways. I only teach what I know is true.
The kids were well-prepared. They said their lines well. Most of them chose for themselves what they wanted to say about having faith and praying and following Jesus. They sang beautifully. Their director, as well as their pianist, was a man. That's a little unusual. But you could tell what a difference it made! There was only one instance where someone sang solo and that was a boy- what a beautiful voice! They also did sign language for the main song which was "I Know That My Savior Loves Me". They were all so together and confident! Later, as Dad and I watched a tv broadcast of a Mormon Tabernacle Choir concert, I was again struck by how wonderful it is that the gospel teaches us to share and expand our talents. You can certainly see that among Latter Day Saints!
I am grateful to know who I am and why I am on this earth. I am grateful to know that I can be with people I love forever so long as that is my choice, and I hope it will be theirs, too.

Things I am learning...

This photo of my mother was taken over a year ago, about a year after her fall with 5 bone breaks. She was undergoing aggressive therapy with the idea that she could regain strength enough to walk, even if with a walker.

A few months ago, the decision was made that Mom was not making sufficient progress to warrant the expense of aggressive daily physical therapy. They don't want her to lose what ability she has but no one expects she will be able to regain sufficient strength to care for herself in any way. This morning Mom walked around the "block" inside the care center. It was a stretch for her but she was determined to do it. Dad, my sisters, I, and everybody else wishes she could have the determination to keep working at it, but she just doesn't. As traumatic as her fall in Oct 2008 was, it wasn't totally the cause for her current physical condition. That is a result of a cumulative effect over years of a sedentary lifestyle coupled later on with a fear of falling which, truth be told, she probably wouldn't have developed so quickly had she had the muscular strength to catch herself whenever she felt off-balance.

As I visit Mom in the care center every day along with seeing the MANY people over 70 in this area, I am learning some things about what to anticipate in later life.

*Mom has always emphasized "relaxing". She has always liked to sit and meditate or read. Dad, on the other hand, seemed to always be doing things to the extent that on the rare occasion he ever sat down, he fell asleep. There needs to be a balance in life between exercise and relaxing. In older age, if you have been more active, you will likely be able to care for yourself much longer. However, you need to have some interests that allow you to not necessarily "be on the go" all the time so you won't go stir crazy when all you have the energy to do is sit.

*Loving someone does NOT mean doing everything or giving everything they request. We all need to make efforts that may be out of our "comfort zones" in order to achieve physical and emotional strength sufficient to care for ourselves. So, on the flip side, it may be important to grit your teeth and stand by allowing someone you love to grunt and strain a little.

*Too much emphasis is given on "exercise"- the fad kind of thing: going to a gym, wearing "active" clothing, competing in athletic events. It's really not all about your weight or your appearance or your comparison to others. It's a lifestyle/mindset thing. Don't rely on others to fetch something up or downstairs that you want. Don't wish there was an elevator every time you need to use stairs. Exercising an hour a day is NOT going to sufficiently prepare you for old age if it is not coupled with an active lifestyle. You may reach the point where lack of core muscles will make it difficult or even impossible to get up and down off the couch/bed/chair. It may even make it so you can't have a bowel movement because you don't have the strength to push it out! Don't envy people with handicap stickers for their cars or you may end up with one yourself.

*Last, but not really the last of what I am learning, just the last I will list here, NEVER STOP LEARNING. Your brain is connected to your body. If you don't have good circulation in your body, your brain is having the same lack of oxygenated, nutrient carrying blood. Keep moving but also keep thinking. Keep experiencing new things. Get out of your comfort zone occasionally. Be willing to listen with the idea that maybe what you thought you always knew is wrong. Maybe science has figured out something they put out long ago wasn't exactly right so what you learned long ago now needs to be altered.

praise from a master

I'm sorry I don't have my camera with me. I will just have to describe better, I guess, since it takes a thousand words to equal a picture.
One of the reasons I have never been interested in living in the Southern parts of the US is BUGS! I realize they are everywhere but I have always liked living where there is weather cold enough to discourage their proliferation if not completely kill them off. Within the past few months, there has been some evidence of termite activity in Mom and Dad's house. The exterminator was called and did his thing- twice. After several weeks, it looked like they were gone so Dad and I set about repairing the damage they had done. In addition, there was an area around a ceiling vent that had been poorly repaired several years ago by someone after there was a leak. Dad had been meaning to fix it but just hadn't gotten to it. I thought we could manage to do both repairs as long as we were at it. Over the past 3 years I have learned quite a bit about plastering. I'm glad I did. Dad can certainly be qualified as a master builder. He has been doing building and remodeling for much longer than I have been alive. I was a little nervous about doing work that he could probably do much better than I but I knew that his stamina just wouldn't hold up long enough to chip or cut out damaged parts, measure, cut and install boards, spackle/plaster, sand, and paint two coats. I ended up doing most of the damage removal, all of the plastering, assisting him to measure and install repairs, and half of the painting. It took us several days working only a few hours each day. After we were done, we both felt quite satisfied with the results. I must admit, it gave me a feeling of peace and pleasure to hear my father tell me what a great job I had done. He repeated several times how good it looked and told me I should be quite proud of myself.
I am looking forward to that same inner glow when I hope to hear, from my eternal Master, "Well done thou good and faithful servant."