Why self-centeredness prevents happiness

Matthew, Mark, and Luke all quoted the Savior saying, "He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it." We usually take this to mean that we should serve the Lord rather than pursuing our own selfish ambitions. But why? God and Jesus love us more than we can comprehend in our present mortal state. God's whole work and glory is the immortality and eternal life of you and me. So why the emphasis on worshiping Him? Does God just want us to beat ourselves into the dust in feeling lowly and worthless compared to Him? God has also said that when we have served the least of our brethren, we have served Him. I have been realizing how it is that we become as joyful as the Lord wants us to be when we stop focusing on ourselves.
When we are "self" centered, we cannot feel grateful as deeply. We tend to see only what we want, material things, comfort, a place at the front of the line, praise, etc. We aren't happy with others because we neglect to see things from THEIR perspective. When we think about being the 3rd in a line, we don't even consider what is going on in the lives or thoughts of the person ahead of us, or even behind us. We may think we have reasons to be waited on first without being aware that someone else may have an invalid at home waiting for care or that someone else may have been in this line before and had to leave for some reason so they're back for even MORE time wasted in their busy life. We may not even notice that as we hurriedly approached the line, we may have sped past an older or infirmed person strenuously making their way to get a place in line. We will not feel grateful for the place we have in line because we were only thinking of ourselves. There may be people all around us that are in some way sacrificing or at least compromising what THEY want in order to accommodate US. There may be people in our lives that help or give up without demanding praise or even notice therefore, we don't notice. If we are focused on ourselves, we do not feel gratitude because don't notice what we need to feel grateful for.
When we are "self" focused, we don't feel appreciated enough. We know what we are doing for others but we don't make the effort to see what others are doing for us. We will always feel under-appreciated because we don't strive to appreciate others.
When we are "self" centered, we are pessimistic in general. We don't take joy in someone else winning the game because we are too focused on the fact that we, or the person or team we were rooting for, lost. We may have gotten a cookie, but we think someone else's cookie is bigger or has more chocolate chips in it. We may have had a peaceful night's rest but we think the tasks ahead of us in our day are somehow more daunting than what others face- because we have no idea what they are facing and we don't make the effort to find out or care!
When we are "self" centered we are miserable to be around because we bring no joy to others. When others tire of trying to praise us because it's never enough, they slowly draw away. Then we feel lonely. Then we experience self-fulfilling prophecy and end up being lonely because we are gradually becoming more alone.
It really is in our very best interest to consider and serve others. It is healthier and happier to see all that we DO have and not try to figure out all that we DON'T have.

Changes

I realize that mortal life is not static, and wisely so. As a matter of fact, it's essential to have a firm belief that we CAN change- that we will not always be the person we were when we were young and ignorant and foolish. But what if you feel yourself losing an aspect you don't WANT to lose? What if you feel a change happening that you have fought against? Most of my life I have been known as a cheerful, energetic person. I understand that as I get older, I will probably slow down physically. Despite our best efforts, the old body just doesn't do at 60 what it could do at 16. I prefer to be a positive influence on others and, to do that, I need to remain a positive person. I notice problems, "flaws"?, not with the intent to criticize, but with the intent to want to help. I have helped several older people and been greatly appreciated. I do that by being attentive and trying to be intuitive about when they will need help and how I can best provide that help. I have tried to make people feel comfortable in my home, whether just visiting for a few minutes, coming as a sewing customer, or staying for a prolonged period. I have had people comment on how comfortable they have felt in my home. I try to anticipate their needs or possible feelings and provide what I can or say what I can think of to help them feel comfortable. I'm rambling on about this because I have been having the extremely uncomfortable experience of having to second guess myself. I have always been of the opinion that any disagreement has two sides, two perspectives. It is rare that one person is ALL right or one is ALL wrong. I tried to be a peacemaker amid my children, trying to determine what every child involved in any contentious situation might need to do to improve the relationship. I have tried hard to learn about differing views and how they come about. I have tried to be sympathetic yet stand for what I can determine to be right. Having someone question my motives and take a perspective toward me that is not at all what I intended shakes me to the very core. I want to continue to be a cheerful, optimistic person. But if I am perceived as controlling or judgmental, how can I continue? If I am perceived as causing someone to suffer when I have only wanted to have a sharing, peaceful relationship, what do I do? In the past, I have pondered, prayed, read, discussed, and eventually felt better-able to continue. I'm afraid I am losing my resolve. I don't want to quit life as I have often felt in the past. I understand my purpose in mortality. I believe in a loving Father in Heaven who wants whatever is best for me. When it's my time to go, I'll go. I don't have the wisdom to make that decision for myself. However, I am having a really hard time forging ahead. I am letting fear overcome me and paralyze me. I am reaching a point of finding it overwhelmingly difficult to pick myself up, dust myself off, and keep trying. I will keep living but finding joy in it is really, really, really hard.