Choosing counsel

     Although today I am still in the lovely resort near Palm Springs, CA with my sisters, I will be speaking at my ward (church) this coming Sunday after I fly back on Saturday. My topic as suggested by my bishop is getting close to the Lord. In that vein, I have also been thinking about NOT being close to the Lord. You can't remain at a distance from someone and determine what they like or don't like, what they are or aren't. I'm sure most people would be upset, hurt, or insulted by anyone claiming to know them when that person has actually not spent time or effort to actually know them at all. In that same way, we cannot remain distant from God and claim to know what He wants or likes. God's strongest detractor is Lucifer, the Son of the Morning. The battle he wages against God is not threat of death with guns or swords but ideas with the weapons used being words. God wants to share His wisdom just as any good parent wants to teach or share with children. He knows much better than we do what is good or bad, what is right or wrong, truth or error. In our efforts to be independent, we learn and form opinions but they are limited by lack of experience and wisdom. There is so much of a need to justify ourselves or someone we care about even in something that may not be socially or even scripturally approved. That is what a lot of politically correct issues have become. When we insist on determining for ourselves what is right, calling evil good and good evil, we are displacing God and placing ourselves in the position of God's authority. He wants us to think and act for ourselves just as we hope our children will grow up to be responsible adults. The biggest difference is that even though we are older and more experienced than our children, we are not always right. We can often learn things from our children who are different in perspective and abilities than we are. God isn't wrong or imperfect. He wants to share with us His wisdom but He will not force it on us. He will not strike us with a bolt of lightning when we support and promote ideas contrary to Him. He has given all of us the right and privilege of choosing our own heroes, our own standards. He is hoping we will ask Him for His counsel so we will suffer less, but He will allow us to make our own mistakes. We will be held accountable for misguiding others and will have to suffer consequences of our own bad choices. That's one way to learn and is the only way if we choose to NOT ask God for His counsel.

The healing power of women

     I am in California with my sisters- ALL of my 3 sisters. This is the first time we have ever all been together for a whole week. My older sister was married with 2 kids when my younger sister was born, just 6 months before I got married and also left home. I generally avoid generalizations of any kind because there are always exceptions. But it is true that the innate instinct of females is to nurture. Males, due to testosterone and cultural expectations, tend to protect and compete. Russ and I have been married for very nearly 47 years (in about 2 weeks!) so I have spent much more time sharing my life with a male than I have with females. It is so comforting and relaxing to be hugged every morning and night, greeted with a happy smile, complimented no matter how fat or old or mangled I look, and just plain supported. My sisters are all remarkably good people whether that stems from hormones or genetics or simply decisions about character. They all have had heartache and trials aplenty so it's not like they are spoiled by lack of obstacles in their lives. What is so wonderful is that they have each chosen to avoid bitterness in favor of forgiveness and understanding. They all choose to be kind rather than competitive. They are all very strong yet humble and meek. I don't mean to imply they're perfect anymore than I am perfect. But they sure are nice to have a chance to spend time with and I'm grateful..... very grateful.

The two lovely ones on the left of this picture are the daughters of my sister sitting on the couch next to them. They are developing into the same sort of caring women, as I feel my own daughters are. It's just wonderful.

Life goes on............

     I did some yard work a week ago and apparently was exposed to a poisonous plant- ivy, oak, or sumac- I'm not sure which. I would have thought I would have recognized poison ivy because I had a terrible time with it in Ohio. (see July 16, 2007 blog) I posted pictures then and went back through to compare my picture and record of the incident with what I'm experiencing now. I have spent a week trying every available over-the-counter type remedy with no luck. Little spots seem to keep appearing and growing beyond the initial 3 spots that I thought were bug bites (because there were tons of pesky little gnats that flew in my ears and eyes and everywhere the whole time!) just after I came back inside last Monday. I took a shower because I was hot and sweaty but it wasn't until later in the day that I began to doubt it was bug bites and by the next day I was certain it was not just bug bites. I have tried to not scratch because I know that only makes it worse. I have applied lots of different anti-itch ointments as well as soaking in an astringent but nothing has helped. Today I finally went to a doctor and got prescriptions for steroids and an ointment and she also counseled me to try Claritin. (I had taken generic Benadryl but it made my heart race.) I am washing the sheets, towels and everything in hot water and doing all the doctor suggested and am hopeful for a quick recovery.
     In researching for the poison ivy experience, I went back to a time when my son Ammon was still alive. It hurt to read about how much he worked at clearing up the property we had in Dayton and looking at pictures of him. I think of him every time I observe cooks in a restaurant because I got to watch Ammon in action when he was working at a restaurant in Utah years ago. He loved to cook and he was really a very good manager. He was able to encourage people to work harder in a pleasant but not insincere way. I look forward to being with him again. He turned into a really nice guy after he figured out who he wanted to be. I am pleased with all of my children (including the son I didn't raise but call mine) because they are all good people. I enjoy spending time with any and all of them. We haven't had a family reunion in awhile so I hope we can manage a time to all be together before too long. In the meantime, I'm grateful that Russ and I can see our children one at a time, except Ammon, of course. We'll have to wait awhile for that.

Unconditional love??

     During my recent visit to Guam, I had a realization based on my lifetime (so far) experiences and observations. I rode with my daughter to pick up some young women for a church activity. We drove by and to some homes that were off the beaten track and not what many people, including myself, would consider lovely or even desirable. Because I have lots of energy, a strong desire to help others, and a love of neatness and cleanliness, I would consider such places a project worthy of my efforts to change. Along this line of thought, I remembered a home I recently visited here in Falls Church. Russ and I had gone to "help", especially for Russ to make some repairs. While he did his amazing thing of being able to fix just about anything that doesn't work, I put my time and efforts into cleaning up the kitchen. I had it looking pretty good by the time I left. However, Russ went back about a week later for an additional problem and reported that the kitchen had returned to a state of chaos and uncleanliness. I thought of other homes I have gone to, over the years, where well-meaning people have worked hard to restore cleanliness and order only to have it quickly return to disorder.
     In a similar vein, I have had limited but sufficient experience with people you would not consider "able-bodied" for one reason or another: a man blind from birth, a woman with limited ability to walk and mostly in a wheelchair, several who were old and slow, and even "normal" people who were simply young or short.
     Although there are chronic welfare recipients who will take anything and everything anyone and everyone will offer, most people have enough pride that they want to do things for themselves or don't necessarily want what others may want. Sometimes an offer to "help" is simply an implication that someone needs help because they are incapable of doing what someone else may be able to do in the way someone else may be able to do it. I have totally unintentionally insulted people by stepping in to wash dishes or straighten a room when they only perceived my judgement of their efforts to keep house. I have had to come to realize that sometimes a person who I might consider handicapped has worked hard to devise ways to do things for themselves and I insult them by not allowing them to show they can do it themselves. I have also been taught that older people are sometimes slower and would prefer you to be more patient in allowing them to move at their speed than to be so over-anxious to step in and do things for them.
     The bottom line? I'm not really sure. I guess I would have to say that it might be good to step back and encourage or observe or at least hesitate when "helping" others. They may be searching for a word and don't want somebody else to try to fill in the blank. They may be hesitating because they have something on their mind or are waiting for a pain to subside. I guess I can let it be known that I'm willing to help along with  praying for the insight to know if I should step in, or just be patient; if I should just smile and be a friend even if they are not as neat and clean as I would prefer. I guess that's really unconditional love, loving them where they are.

By the sweat of thy brow.........

     I knew a man who had made some very wise as well as fortuitous real estate transactions and ended up quite wealthy. He had several children and wanted them to understand the value of worldly goods. He had grown up working hard and continued to be willing to perform physical labor even as a wealthy old man. He wanted his children to appreciate hard work and have the wisdom gained through such every day experiences. He told his children that, while still alive, he would give them enough money to survive but not enough to be able to avoid work. (This is a true story and those words are an approximation but you get the idea.) Was he being selfish and cruel? I certainly don't think so. I think he was very wise and loved his children enough to want them to be wise and capable and contributing members of the world society.
     In the story of the Garden of Eden, after being beguiled by the "serpent", Heavenly Father told Adam and Eve they would no longer be able to live in the paradise of the lovely garden because they had eaten the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. If they continued to live where it was easy, they would not learn how to recognize the results of evil (like greed, laziness, selfishness...). He said, "Cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of they life; Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field; in the sweat of they face shalt thou eat bread..." It's important the we always remember that God's "work and glory" is to "bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man". He isn't simply a power-hungry, demanding, almighty supreme being. He is our Father and He loves us and He is hoping we will grow up enough to enjoy sharing everything He has. The curse on the ground was not simply a punishment to make Adam and Eve feel regret and sorrow all their life and cause eons worth of their posterity to resent them. The Garden of Eden, or paradise on earth, is not a reward to those God deems good. Just like any loving parent, He would give us everything we could possibly want EXCEPT that He knows that in our current natural condition it would cause us to become much less than what we have the potential to become as His sons and daughters.
     As I endured heat, humidity, bugs, and sweat doing a couple of hours of pulling noxious weeds, some with nasty thorns, I thought about God's blessing and cursing. I realized how much more I appreciate being able to sit quietly observing a lovely sunset that I did nothing to create; how much more I appreciate being able to look at a neat, orderly yard that I toiled hard to create, and how much more I appreciate God's love for me. I want to be like Him- wise, eternally and without reservation loving, and appreciative of what I have learned.