Unconditional love??

     During my recent visit to Guam, I had a realization based on my lifetime (so far) experiences and observations. I rode with my daughter to pick up some young women for a church activity. We drove by and to some homes that were off the beaten track and not what many people, including myself, would consider lovely or even desirable. Because I have lots of energy, a strong desire to help others, and a love of neatness and cleanliness, I would consider such places a project worthy of my efforts to change. Along this line of thought, I remembered a home I recently visited here in Falls Church. Russ and I had gone to "help", especially for Russ to make some repairs. While he did his amazing thing of being able to fix just about anything that doesn't work, I put my time and efforts into cleaning up the kitchen. I had it looking pretty good by the time I left. However, Russ went back about a week later for an additional problem and reported that the kitchen had returned to a state of chaos and uncleanliness. I thought of other homes I have gone to, over the years, where well-meaning people have worked hard to restore cleanliness and order only to have it quickly return to disorder.
     In a similar vein, I have had limited but sufficient experience with people you would not consider "able-bodied" for one reason or another: a man blind from birth, a woman with limited ability to walk and mostly in a wheelchair, several who were old and slow, and even "normal" people who were simply young or short.
     Although there are chronic welfare recipients who will take anything and everything anyone and everyone will offer, most people have enough pride that they want to do things for themselves or don't necessarily want what others may want. Sometimes an offer to "help" is simply an implication that someone needs help because they are incapable of doing what someone else may be able to do in the way someone else may be able to do it. I have totally unintentionally insulted people by stepping in to wash dishes or straighten a room when they only perceived my judgement of their efforts to keep house. I have had to come to realize that sometimes a person who I might consider handicapped has worked hard to devise ways to do things for themselves and I insult them by not allowing them to show they can do it themselves. I have also been taught that older people are sometimes slower and would prefer you to be more patient in allowing them to move at their speed than to be so over-anxious to step in and do things for them.
     The bottom line? I'm not really sure. I guess I would have to say that it might be good to step back and encourage or observe or at least hesitate when "helping" others. They may be searching for a word and don't want somebody else to try to fill in the blank. They may be hesitating because they have something on their mind or are waiting for a pain to subside. I guess I can let it be known that I'm willing to help along with  praying for the insight to know if I should step in, or just be patient; if I should just smile and be a friend even if they are not as neat and clean as I would prefer. I guess that's really unconditional love, loving them where they are.