Fight, Flight, or Freeze

    The title of this post is plagiarized just a little bit. We were watching the show "Brain Games" about the amygdala and reactions to fear. The title is the three categories of reactions to fear. It should be no surprise that I continue to be fascinated with the workings of the human brain. This information has only been available for a relatively short time before which we really didn't understand exactly how our brains work. There is still much to learn but I'm trying to keep up with at least the basic layman's version of how our brain functions. The amygdala is deep in the brain and is the source of our primal reactions, like the release of adrenalin. What I have been pondering is fear and how that affects our relationship to God. There are scriptures that mention a "fear" of God but that is better translated as a respect or reverence of God, not a fear like of falling or of wild animals. Also, the Lord Himself actually says, "Fear not for I am with thee" so He obviously doesn't want us to fear Him in the way we might interpret it otherwise. And, according to the apostle Paul, "God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7) It has been expressed that faith and fear cannot occur together. Faith is a kind of trust. If you truly trust the Lord- His wisdom, His decisions, His ability and willingness to help and guide- then you won't have fear. Sounds good, but how do we do that?
     When we are afraid- of other people, our own inabilities, or any circumstance- we will react in one of the three ways mentioned in the title. When we don't like the way things are going and dread the consequences we may get angry- at ourselves, at God, or who or whatever. If we are angry, it interferes with our ability to hear the still, small voice of the Spirit. That leaves us on our own to figure out a way out of the situation. If we want desperately to avoid the whole issue, we may either want to run away or play possum. If we refuse to deal with the situation we may run into something even worse or we may miss an outcome which might be, in the end, very beneficial. If we freeze, we don't accomplish anything.
     Today in stake conference, a young man (between 8-11 years old) was randomly called up from the congregation by a visiting church leader. I was so struck by this young man's reaction. He had been chosen by a stake leader (Primary President) who had been asked by this visiting authority to choose someone to come up and read. Fear of public speaking is one of the major fears nearly all people have. This was a meeting of several hundred people, filling to overflowing the chapel, attached hall, and several other rooms by closed circuit tv. This young man just jumped right up when selected and walked quickly and confidently to the front of the chapel. He was not pompous and he was not frightened- at least not on the outside. I'm sure his little heart was beating pretty fast! He could have been fearful to the point of fight- getting angry and resenting being "picked on". He could have decided to run out of the room- flight. Or he could have been struck with fear to the point of not being able to move. He had been taught, likely by parents and church teachers, to have faith- in God and in himself because God doesn't give us anything we can't manage, especially with His help.
     When I first joined the LDS church, I was somewhat intimidated at being asked to be a teacher, a leader, or any sort of job that I had never done before. In the church, there is no training. You get "called" as a visiting teacher, bishop, Young Women leader, or anything and you are on your own! There are plenty of people to whom you can go for advice and there are some manuals to search, but basically you figure out what the program is and how to implement it through prayer, scripture study, and pondering. The results are truly remarkable and not just in the running of programs but in the development of individuals. Jesus Christ was, and still is, all about the "ONE". He suffered and died for each individual. He loves each individual. Now that I understand that, I never have a desire to refuse a calling. I will do whatever the Lord wants because I know He loves me and will help me beyond my own abilities however limited they may be. In the process of serving, I grow in knowledge and experience which also strengthens my faith. It's a win-win situation!

Can we do it??

     I think it's awesome that our Father in Heaven has given prophets to His children to help them figure out mortality. It's also awesome that many of their words have been preserved for us (scriptures) so we can study and learn how to get along. Two of the most tragic characters, in my opinion, in scripture are Saul and David. Saul was chosen by God to be king of Israel despite the prophet Samuel thinking a king was a bad idea. He was pretty good until David came along, just a little guy that slew the giant Goliath. David then continued to defend Israel in the name of God and was, not at all surprisingly, successful. Saul got pretty jealous of David's popularity throughout Israel and started hunting him down with the intent to kill him. What was really amazing was that one time David had the opportunity to kill Saul, and chose not to. His words were, "I cut off the skirt of thy robe, and killed thee not, know thou and see that there is neither evil nor transgression in mine hand, and I have not sinned against thee; yet thou huntest my soul to take it. The Lord judge between me and thee, and the Lord avenge me of thee; but my hand shall not be upon thee." David saw Saul as the king's anointed and would not destroy him despite Saul's efforts to take his life. Saul's reaction was, "Thou are more righteous than I; for thou hast rewarded me good, whereas I have rewarded thee evil." (For the complete story see 1 Samuel) David realized that he wasn't judge and jury to justify revenge- or even what some would call defense- against Saul. What mattered was David's righteous heart. (Unfortunately, David later succumbed to the natural man weakness of lust so he didn't endure to the end in serving righteousness.) There are people who have to live with memories of abuse from parents or spouses. There are people who have suffered mightily at the hands of other people's horrible choices. Harboring hate and revenge in their hearts will not change anything. I'm not advocating just lying down and taking it- not by any means! I think divorce, running away, going to the police, or whatever is necessary is an essential response. However, once you are safe from the pain, it's important to avoid carrying bitterness in your heart; not that it's an easy thing to do.......
     The Lord has said, "Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin. I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men. And ye ought to say in your hearts- let God judge between me and thee, and reward thee according to thy deed." (Doctrine and Covenants 64:9-11) God is so much wiser, capable, and knowledgeable than we are. Plus, He loves way more than we even know how to--- yet. If we continue to have anger, resentment, or other such bitter feelings it will only maim us. It's important that we trust Him to be just, yet merciful enough to not hold against us anything we might have messed up on. It can be really difficult to have love for our enemies or respect for someone who is not acting righteously and abusing a high position in the world. But we need to have a greater desire to be good ourselves than to see that "justice is served". To do that we need to be willing to let bygones be bygones. We need to allow others the opportunity to change and continue to hope they do. We need to believe in repentance and trust God to run things. We need to forgive our family members, our friends, our neighbors, even our politicians...................

Hobos or homeless

     Having very little to do and not enjoying traffic here, Russ and I often walk. We may even walk to businesses that are 2-3 miles away. The exercise is good for us and it keeps us from having to deal with driving. On a bench on one corner I have observed a man who seems to be pretty well settled in. He is a large man with a roomy bag like a gym bag that has lettering on it which indicates it was a part of a community charity effort to provide necessities for living outside a dwelling. I have not looked on him with disdain or criticism. If ever he looked up at me when I walk by, I would smile and greet him like any other person whose eye I try to catch to be friendly. I was thinking about stories I have read about hobos in the 19th or 20th century here in the United States. They were generally reasonable people (mostly adult males) who had no job and no place to live. They would often be willing to split wood or do yard work or whatever their skills allowed in exchange for a meal or the opportunity to sleep in a shed or barn to be out of the weather. I have also remembered a news program I saw many decades ago now where there were several homeless people interviewed. A couple of the men stated that they would rather live a homeless lifestyle than be tied down with a job and rent or mortgage payments.
     I realize that there are many homeless people who are not there by choice. Sometimes there is an addiction involved and sometimes there is an issue with mental health problems. The saddest perhaps is the children who are associated with a homeless adult drifter so they never know what a "normal" life is like. When we see homeless people, we have no way of knowing their circumstances. That would invite us to not just discount them, necessarily, as irresponsible. On the other hand, I personally would never want to enable anyone in supporting an addiction. So, short of averting my eyes and trying to pretend they're not there, how do I react in a way Jesus would have me react? I have a friend who always carries in her car a sandwich bag with a granola bar, a sample toothpaste tube, some change, and whatever other little things she thinks of. She will hand a bag out the window to any beggar she comes upon. I think that's something Jesus would like. I have another friend who, despite nearing 80 years old, taught for awhile in a homeless shelter. Her stories of that experience would touch even the coldest heart. I intend, if ever I get the chance, to speak to someone who is homeless as if they were any other community member I might encounter on the street. If I can, I will offer to buy them food or I would even give them my coat if they needed it. I might hesitate to give them money because I have had too many experiences with people who just want to make their living taking money from someone with no effort on their part beyond asking. I would have no idea what their circumstances are so I would avoid assuming anything. But I do know they are children of God, just like I am. I know there are lots of charitable and government programs to assist, although I realize that when someone has their life abruptly changed, it may take some time to get enrolled in such help. I wish I could simply believe any story told me, but I know I can't. I can't even believe stories that are "news" from the media! So I would just pray to know what to do, but my guy reaction will be to treat others as I would want to be treated.

What exactly is the march for??

     Today is what initiators have entitled "March for Unity" also known as the Women's March. I'm sure that, after the divisiveness and contention during the recent presidential election, there is good reason to have such an event. I'm also sure that most of the people who have been instrumental in planning it have had the very best of intentions. (And this is where you say- BUT...) However, it seems that incorporated in all of the many differences among the millions of people in the United States as well as all over the world, there is a difference in the definition of "unity" or "tolerance". Large-scale events like this march, which is being held primarily here in Washington, DC but also has large groups meeting in other cities, include people with a wide range of intentions. I have some examples from my personal experiences for illustration:
     I was a teenager during the war in VietNam and my brother, along with many young men I knew, were being drafted and sent to fight in a war that most of us couldn't comprehend. I participated in marches and gatherings at SUNY Cortland and Cornell University protesting the war. I don't wish to speak for anyone else there. I just know that, for me, all I wanted was to join a crowd trying to get attention to demand that our friends and family members be returned home from that distant land. I really didn't understand anything about the cause or ramifications of the war or what that country meant to our country. I just didn't want war. I had no hidden agenda or desire to get more creative in causing chaos.
     Every Oct. 31, kids in the USA get excited to dress up in costumes, maybe be in parades, and maybe ride in fire trucks but mostly, go trick-or-treating for as much candy as can be carried or collected in the time allotted to travel door to door. Often, the kids start eating their treats before they get home but when they do finally get home, parents often will check the "stash" for anything they don't want their children to have or even sometimes something the parents want for themselves! One Halloween when our family was young and financially struggling, I had made popcorn balls because that was the cheapest treat I could furnish for the many children expected on our street in the village. Late in the evening, a group of 3 teenage boys came to the door with some color smeared on their faces and carrying pillowcases. These were hardly what you could call "costumes". I was nearly out of popcorn balls and was a bit miffed that these guys were more interested in getting free goodies than in actually joining the spirit of the holiday. I told them they were old enough to get jobs and buy their own candy. Afterward, we found eggs splattered and shaving cream smeared on our car. Too often, teenagers have used the holiday for an excuse to perform pranks, sometimes expensive and damaging.
     A few years after that, there was a gathering of women in Seneca Falls, NY- home to and celebrating the women's right to vote movement many years prior. This was at the time of social issues such as abortion, Equal Rights Amendment, salary equality for genders, etc. Knowing that many women there would be in favor of all of those things, several of us from our local church attended to listen, learn, and participate in discussion.  I really think that was the primary purpose of the gathering but I'm sure there were some there who hoped to persuade others to their point of view. Maybe we all did, but, unfortunately, not all of our points of view were the same despite the fact that we were female. I just hoped to balance out the more militant elements attending.
     Several years later,  there began to be lots of pressure to re-define the family as basically just a collection of people. This was due in part to the "coming out" of homosexuals but also included children being raised by grandparents because parents were on drugs or in jail as well as people deciding that they didn't have to get married just because there were children being produced and even a rise in divorce and blended families. The newspapers and all the media were widely proclaiming this more open definition which tended to cause the belittling and even scorn for the idea of an original father and mother, married, living with their children in the same house. Rather than the ideal situation, this was becoming undesirable. As a result, several people throughout the wider community called for a gathering to support the traditional family. We met in a public square and simply talked about how beneficial we felt it was to children and the community as a whole to encourage traditional families and mostly avoided talking about the other issues other than trying to mention being understanding and tolerant. Surrounding our "group" were some quite outspoken people- mostly young adults- who wanted to use this as an occasion to accuse us of being homophobic and intolerant. Most of the people in the family group were religious of one tradition or other and were far from being hateful or intolerant. But the outlying group wasn't listening.
     Having described these different experiences, I would say that this March for Unity is for a good cause but I'm sure it will be used for and interpreted as many different causes. There will be some here who are really just trying to send a message to our new President Donald Trump because he has publicly expressed some very intolerant opinions. There will be some who are hoping to pick a fight with whoever they disagree with despite the title of the event. There will probably even be some who are paid by someone to promote some agenda or other. There will also be some, hopefully the majority, who simply want to express their desire that our country not be so contentious. Those who don't actually attend but sit on the sidelines observing will probably be everything from supportive to highly critical- again each having their own perspective on the intent of those participating. As spectators, including the media, express opinions they have the opportunity to either help heal our nation or further heat up anger and cause divisions. The change to peace will not come by any form of law. It has to come within people's hearts as they interact, being willing to listen as well as shout.

Addictions

     Along with a fascination with our brains, I have quite an interest in the spiritual realm, or heaven, or the other side of the veil, or however one might describe it. I have had only minimal experience of my own but I have read some accounts of the experiences of others and really enjoyed the book and movie of a child's account in "Heaven is Real". One of the elements of life beyond mortality that has given me some concern is the extension of addiction. As I have learned how our brains work, I have a mortal concern for the control of addictions but as I read about the spirit world, that concern grows even stronger. In several accounts of near-death experiences there is an agonizing description of those who have left mortality still attached to an addiction they never overcame. This is from "Visions of Glory": The disembodied spirits said little at first. They had little ability to be heard by the young man (a mortal who was viewing pornography). They were there trying to satisfy the sexual passion they had developed during their own lives. There were both male and female spirits. Their sexual addiction had followed them into the spirit world, Their addiction was unending, painful, and impossible to satisfy. There is more but I don't want to make this too long. Among descriptions of spirit beings who have died with addictions, there are tragic images of trying to grab a cigarette or drink alcohol or satisfy a longing for drugs when they can't do any of those things. The lustful feelings are still there but there is no way to satisfy them outside of their physical, mortal body.
    On the other hand are descriptions of beings of greater light, more white and bright than words can fully describe. It is worth knowing that the more inwardly a person has loved Divine truths and has lived by them, the more beautiful is his human form after death. That is the way a man named Swedenborg who lived a couple of centuries ago explained his experience outside a mortal body. The account is repeated in the book "Glimpses Beyond Death's Door" which is a compilation of research and study on near-death experiences of lots of different people. There are many books available on this subject and I have only read a few. But the point I want to make right here and now is that the Lord's counsel to us to avoid addictions is NOT for the purpose of keeping us from having "fun". We should not look at the idea of avoiding addictions to sex, drugs, food, money, etc. as being limiting other than limiting our eternal anguish. We are much more than these desires. They will only control us and ultimately destroy our goodness and halt our progression. I wish I could shout it to the world!

Grateful for the Constitution

     I have been thinking about the plight of refugees recently. It's one thing to purposely emigrate to another country because you would prefer living there. It's completely different when you would really rather stay "home" but due to war, oppressive government, or other threats, you leave your native country with what little you can carry to start with nothing in a strange land. Adding to that misery, when you get to the strange land, you may be greeted with hatred and resentment. Refugees are not all innocent, good people. I realize that. However, I would bet that the majority of those who are forced refugees have no ill intentions. They have to struggle with survival: learning a new language, finding shelter, obtaining food, finding a job, and often needing medical help.
     Last night Russ and I went to a show at the Kennedy Center here in Washington, DC. Shen Yun is a beautiful display of newly written Chinese traditional culture. To quote the program notes: Ten years ago leading Chinese artists from around the world came together united by a mission: to revive authentic Chinese culture. They formed Shen Yun. Independent, non-profit, and based in New York, Shen Yun's artists now present these magnificent traditions on stage.... Shen Yung Orchestra delivers this musical experience by blending the singular beauty of Chinese melodies with the precision and power of the Western orchestra. ( Their orchestra has mostly Western classical instruments but also includes traditional Chinese instruments so the sound is familiar to both cultures.) .. Nowhere else can you see the authentic Chinese culture that Shen Yun presents. Sadly, this culture has been almost completely destroyed in China under communist rule. Throughout the program notes you get a sense of the love and appreciation of traditional Chinese people, scenery, culture, and even some beliefs. In ancient China artist used to cultivate virtue. They believed that art was meant to celebrate the divine and nurture goodness. They often practiced meditation and self-refinement, seeking to create art from a pure and humble mental space...Shen Yun performer's draw their spiritual inspiration from the meditation discipline and self-improvement practice called Falun Dafa. Also known as Falun Gong, it is rooted in China's ancient spiritual traditions, and its practitioners strive to live by the principles of truthfulness, compassion, and tolerance......Traditional Chinese culture is based on the idea of harmony among heaven, Earth, and humankind. But the Chinese Communist Party's doctrine teaches just the opposite; officially atheist, it sees this spiritual culture as a threat to its power. For decades it has tried to destroy this ancient heritage. 
     I realize that a PR expert probably helped word the program. However, we know from a study of history or even current events that there truly are places in the world where the government strives to strangle anything inherently individualistic and does so through violence, actual or threatened. I can't express enough how grateful I am to have been simply born in a country based upon the idea of inherent rights of freedom for all people. We don't always behave as tolerantly as we ought. That isn't the fault of the original concept or Constitution. It's the fault of each one of the citizens who expresses prejudice toward any group of people based on a generalization they have used to label others. There is wickedness on this earth, that's for sure. We each have a responsibility to seek out righteous principles and live by them. But we are not judges of other people, only judges of principles. We can reach out to those who are different in some way and strive to understand the good in them if we don't readily see it. We can hope they are diligent in doing the same toward us.

Individuals collectively

     Recently the LDS Church has followed a policy of disclosure. In the earlier times, in an effort to develop strength of testimony and extend the gospel to others, there was an emphasis on only promoting positive things. It wasn't lying but the resulting appearance of "cover-up" gradually caused criticism and skepticism both outside the church and among members. The honeymoon always comes to an end and all of the blemishes need to be uncovered. We can only make a true choice if we are informed as to the alternatives. I have been pondering what the bottom line is and how we get there.
     I want to quote some words of Jesus that Matthew and Luke reported a little differently. Since Luke's version is shorter, I will use that but encourage anyone to look up Matthew 10:34-39 because you'll find even further information. Luke 12:51-53 Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division: for from henceforth there shall be five in one house divided, three against two, and two against three. The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother; the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. So how do we reconcile these words with words like If ye are not one, ye are not mine? What's the difference  between division as He is mentioning and For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another-? (3 Nephi 11:29)
     We know we are all unique, different from each other in aspects of outward appearance as well as inwardly in our thoughts, perspectives, talents, and understanding. It's obvious in any household that even when living with the same rules, environment, and experiences, we still maintain individuality. Jesus warned that with His teachings, there would be a division among even the closest of people because some would choose to believe and follow Him and some would not. Within the gospel of Jesus Christ, there is no division. If we choose division, we are automatically choosing to NOT follow Jesus. When I taught seminary years ago, I pointed out to the teenagers in my class that a rebel and a hero can be the same person, just looked at from a different perspective. Russ and I "rebelled" against our childhood religions in searching for something more meaningful. Today there are members of the church we joined who are rebelling and publicly criticizing the very organized religion that we identified as the one true church on the face of the earth. Truly, there is contention among us. Again, how do we reconcile this?
     I think the point of our God-given agency or even call it your own private conscience or determination to choose is that we can follow our own desires. If we want to be rebellious to show our intent to refuse to follow along, we can do that. Proverbs 13:10 Only by pride cometh contention. If we want to find peace and harmony, we can do that. Paul said in 2 Corinthians 13:11 Be perfect, be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace shall be with you. If we don't want to follow the God of love and peace, we don't have to. We can choose to be rebellious or contentious or lazy or unwilling or unforgiving- but that is not  following the God of love and peace. We must not follow other people without being aware of who they are following. We need to think for ourselves, analyze, and research. We don't have to know EVERYTHING about people or belief systems. We can know enough simply by observing the evidence, the "fruits" as described in the scriptures. Prophets have been warning people for a very long time that they will have to make a choice. We are not going to be ushered wholesale as a big group to ANYWHERE. Each individual makes a choice. The Savior suffered for each and every individual. He suffered for the man who loses his temper. He suffered for the woman who lives as a whore. He suffered for the person who lies or cheats or steals. He suffered for the addict and the rich man. He suffered for those who withhold forgiveness and love. He suffered for the innocent who suffer at the hands of others. The only difference among us is the difference WE choose in our attitude and loyalty. We choose to follow the Savior; to be like Him; to accept His atonement. Or we follow Satan; we choose rebellion and self-determination; we refuse to acknowledge our need for an atonement. Salvation is for each individual, collectively, who chooses it. We can be unified and live in peace, if we choose to be peaceful and share love.

This is what I'm looking for

     We have four different accounts in the New Testament of the "trial" of Jesus before Pontius Pilate with some subtle differences. (That would certainly be expected since the four men were different. Today if two witnesses describe something using the exact phrases with total agreement of sequence of events, their accounts are immediately considered suspicious by legal agents.) As I continue to search out the path to follow the example of Jesus Christ, I do notice something I can learn from His actions during this time. He was totally humble.  He wasn't defensive or aggressive toward the soldiers or the Jewish leaders. If I were being falsely accused, would I be able to remain calm and humble? Would I consider it be to my advantage to fight back? This occasion for Jesus is not anything that I will likely ever go through. He knew it was going to happen and He knew only He could do it. It awes me that he held his tongue most of the time and was concise and firmly confident with the few words He uttered. Personally, I think that's what was so unsettling to Pilate. He couldn't figure out what the big fuss was over this quiet, obviously honorable man. Jesus's goal was not to win the argument with His accusers. His goal was to endure to the end, seeing to it that His mission was accomplished.  My goal should not be to try to justify myself to others as I go about learning and following God's commandments. I just need to do my part, whatever that might be at any given moment. I may not win any awards from mankind or even applause or compliments. What I yearn for is the quiet assurance through the Spirit that I am doing okay and, eventually, those sweet words from my Savior, "Well done thou good and faithful servant."

Brainwashed???

     I don't get it. Why is religion such a different, more socially unacceptable topic from politics, health, even sexual relations?! It seems that the only people who are allowed to talk about religious experience or feelings are those who are looked upon as extremists, and they are just basically dismissed. There is one instance that I feel especially passionate about concerning this issue. People have no problem influencing their children about politics. It's logical that the children are young and need guidance, right? Or if you know someone who has eaten too much meat through their life and ends up with colon cancer, most parents would have no hesitation to counsel their children strongly about not eating so much meat. If you know someone (like I happen to) who is late middle age and realizes their decades of constant consumption of carbonated drinks has built up a potentially hazardous affect on their esophagus, you would use that as a justification to limit a child's consumption of soda. Parents may feel a little awkward about it, but usually will approach the "birds and the bees" topic with their children. Again, it's logical that the feelings and physical changes that start occurring are foreign to a growing child and some explanation and guidance is going to be helpful. But, religion? Russ and I have even been accused of brainwashing our children because we were teaching them about God and Jesus Christ. Many people will say that they aren't sure about it so they want to just let their children grow up then decide for themselves what to think. If your kids don't hear anything from you, they will hear what the world is shouting at them through Hollywood and other forms of media. Why is it a bad thing to read scriptures, ponder, pray, then teach your children what you have discovered? Why is religious training called brainwashing but opinions about politics or health or sexual relations are expected and even encouraged?
     I am so grateful for the spiritual experiences I have had. I know there is an existence beyond what we can see, hear, or touch with our physical senses. I don't yet understand everything about how it all works but I do know it's real. I will not be ashamed to share my experiences with those I love. It's hard, though, because I know that casting pearls before swine can do more harm than good. Sharing very personal "miracles" can be interpreted by some as bordering insanity. I guess all I can do is continue to urge my posterity, or anybody else, to read scriptures, pray, and ponder for themselves so they can have their own witness. I hope they do.

Asking for help

     When the mortal Christ was near the end of His life He went to the Garden of Gethsemane with some of His disciples. They stayed in one place while He went further to pray. (I wonder if the garden was bigger then than it is now. I have been there and with the size it is now, He couldn't have gone very far away.) After awhile, He returned to the disciples and found them asleep "for sorrow". I'm not sure what that means. Were they exhausted from the worry and concern for the threat the church leaders posed? Were they sorrowing because they didn't know how, when, or why their Lord kept hinting that He would be leaving them? When Jesus spoke to them, He told them to waken and "pray lest ye enter into temptation". He had been praying more intensely than any of us have ever prayed. He had been feeling pain, anguish, sorrow, and agony beyond what we can comprehend. It must be that, as at least half-mortal, He felt temptation- not the temptations He had felt at the start of His mission when Satan tried to ensnare Him or at least dissuade Him from His mission. He only murmured, "If it be thy will, let this cup pass from me", which shows that He was at least struggling. His admonition to His followers to pray probably had more to do with temptations to doubt, fear, give up, resent, or give in to self-pity more than the temptations to sin that we generally think of. Those were the temptations facing Jesus at this point. But He knew what had to happen. He knew that, although He could ask for their love and support, He had to fulfill His mission without the help of His disciples. He had angels watching over Him, just as the choir of angels had exultantly sung at the time of His birth. (That would not have been like the Wal-Mart loudspeakers, by the way. The shepherds heard them because they were in tune with the spirit, aware of and seeking closeness to God.) Yet Jesus had to do what He had to do alone. He knew His disciples would be facing some trials of their own and was urging them to do what He was doing- PRAY.
      We need to do the same thing. The Savior will not be standing next to us speaking out loud for our ears to pick up the sound waves and send them through to the auditory nerves in our brain to decipher. He is trying to reach us through the words of prophets and through the whisperings of the Spirit. Much of the suffering we go through is borne of our own anxiety in which we choose to indulge. We anguish over a loved one who is ill or suffering, not knowing the outcome. We fear that we will lose our home, job, abilities due to age, or friends. We succumb to depression due to our choice to feel self-pity or doubt. Jesus has said, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." I have pondered what He meant by this. How can we actually share our burdens with our Savior so they become light? It's easy enough to understand that when we share any burden, the weight is then distributed so it is lighter than carrying it all by ourselves. But how is it that we share sorrow, pain, fear, frustration?? One way we know is really helpful is simply to talk about it. We have all felt the ease of such burdens when we discuss our concerns with someone who cares. So praying is talking to our Father in Heaven in the name of Christ. That helps us to feel that there is someone who knows and cares. But how can we turn it over to Christ? How can we give up our weakness, our doubts, our pain, our fear to Him? When we acknowledge that we have done all we can figure out how to do or that our fears are for something that might happen and we don't really know how or when, we can realize that we have reached our own limit. We need someone's help who can reach further. God and our Savior can do that. We can rely on their strength and wisdom and help. Christ has promised us that He has already done the suffering for us so, if we accept His gift, we don't have to suffer for ourselves. It's like not needing to wash the dishes because someone else has already done it. But if we don't think they're clean enough or resent someone else doing it or in any way refuse to accept their efforts, then it's as if they hadn't done it. We may choose to go through the work of washing them ourselves. If we can manage to release our troubles to Him, our Savior will carry them- or actually He already has. We just need to be humble enough to acknowledge our weakness and admit our temptation to quit our efforts to be kind or work hard or maintain righteous principles, and ask Him to share the yoke and lighten the burden. Just as our temptations are not physically tangible, the help we receive may not be physically tangible. (Sometimes it can be, like when someone has been prompted to come to our aid through whisperings of the Spirit or been given the strength beyond their own to lift a lawn mower off us like Angela did for Ammon years ago.) Often, the help we receive may feel more like a warmth in our bosom or a light opening in our mind or a general feeling of calm and relief. That is the Savior helping us. Mortality was not meant to be just the opportunity to receive a physical body then joyfully play for as long as our life lasts then be done. This is " a time granted unto man to repent, yea, a probationary time, a time to repent and serve God", a time for us to decide for ourselves who we want to be when we grow up. If we had every trial immediately halted at our first whine, we would not gain the strength and wisdom we need to gain. However, we can ask for help to get through the hard parts and will receive it, but only if we want it and accept it.

Sensitive vs. Tough

     "For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so... righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad." ( 2 Nephi 2:11)
     Many years ago, I had a discussion with my mother. My concern was mostly for my little sister who, I felt, was a bit overly-sensitive. Her feelings were easily hurt. I hoped my mother, who was of a similar temperament, could talk to her to help her avoid feeling so often criticized or unloved. My mother defended the position by saying that she thought it was a good thing to be sensitive. There were people she knew who were insensitive so they weren't aware of other people's feelings. I tried to explain that being easily hurt or offended was not the same sensitivity as being compassionate or aware of the feelings of others. Using Jesus Christ as my example, He was not easily offended. He was not only criticized but was spit upon, mocked, disparaged, misunderstood, and finally crucified. He never indulged in self-pity. In Gethsemane, He meekly offered to let the cup pass from Him if possible but didn't go on and on about how much He was suffering. On the cross, He cried, "Father, why hast thou forsaken me?" But He never complained or accused others of being unfair or unkind towards Him. On the other hand, He was very aware of the needs of those around Him. He has made countless offers to help: Seek and ye shall find, knock and the door shall be opened unto you or Take upon you my yoke for my burden is easy or Pray unto the Father in my name, etc. He suffered what He did in Gethsemane so that He would truly be able to understand any suffering we might endure during mortality. He suffered so that He would know how to succor us. Being sensitive can be a good thing, if using it to look outward rather than inward in self-pity or doubt.
     Some time ago my younger son took it upon himself to try to "toughen up" his younger sister when they were children. He thought it was important for her to be more resilient and confident. His method was to berate and belittle her. Russ has often talked about how, in the fire department, or the Navy, or on a construction site (any macho-type circumstance) the guys traditionally use sarcasm and insults on each other. They're expected to be tough enough to take it. Males tend to also use physical violence to one degree or another to relate to each other. They can give each other a black eye then go bike riding together, the injury forgotten. Again looking to my Savior as an example to follow, I picture Him in the Garden of Gethsemane when His disciples were so anxious to protect and defend Him. Peter lopped off a guy's ear. Jesus? He gently reached out and healed the ear and gently chided Peter. We need to be self-confident. Being physically strong is a good thing in order to do the work we do as a part of mortality, especially so that by our sloth we don't over-burden others. We need to be valiant in enduring to the end rather than wimping out. Being tough can be a good thing, if we use it in acting righteously.
     The challenge for us is to find the balance in what to embrace and what to avoid. We are all different and often find dividing lines between what to do and what not to do in a slightly different range. There is truly opposition in all things here on the Earth. Using our God-given agency to choose for ourselves, we will have different ideas on how to figure out right from wrong and truth from error. Another God-given gift is the Holy Ghost- a member of the God-head sent to help us discern when we let Him do so. And, as corny as it sounds, it sometimes helps to ask ourselves, "What would Jesus do or think or say?"

Analyzing revelation

     Most people love the idea of God giving us information since He is so much more wise and knowledgeable. But He is also loving and encouraging. He has given us free will or agency so we can make our own choices and learn for ourselves. So He has quite a balancing act between helping or guiding us and remaining silent so we can think for ourselves. From what I have read and understand so far, even those designated as prophets are not given ALL information and ALL guidance ALL the time. Most of the time, they are given a hint then encouraged to combine this glimmer of a new idea with what they already know and/or can search out in the writings of other prophets AKA scriptures. It shouldn't be any surprise when He deals with even us lowly everyday people in the same way. When we want to know how He would like us to proceed, He will not lay out a blueprint or time schedule or spreadsheet for us. He points us in a direction with a feeling or idea or words from someone around us, then leaves us to figure out a plan. We need to be humble, willing to be led, prayerful, and willing to listen not just ask without giving Him a chance to reply. Once we have a plan, we go to Him in focused prayer and ask if whatever our plan is would be in accordance with His will and wisdom. If it isn't, we'll feel perplexed and uneasy. If it is, then we'll feel content or excited.
     Okay, I'm aware there are plenty of mortals around who have overactive imaginations or even mental illness. That should not deter us from seeking personal revelation. If we are unsure of our own ability to receive true inspiration from God, we can always ask someone close to the situation that we trust to be willing to listen to the Spirit to pray with us then listen to their feelings. When one of my children was young and really wanted something, I suggested that the two of us go somewhere private and pray together, then listen for a minute or two. I then asked what she thought Heavenly Father's answer was. She was able to tell me the same impression I had. If it works with a child, it can certainly work with an adult.
     God has not closed the Heavens nor is He ignoring anyone. He is letting us make our own choices but He is anxious to help us if what we truly desire is to know what would be BEST, not just what we want using our own worldly lusts or intellects. Sometimes His way is not even on our radar. He knows things we have no way of knowing, other than asking Him. I can testify to anyone who wants to know that God will truly give guidance- not to necessarily to achieve what WE want, but to achieve what would be best. As the all-knowing loving parent that He is, only He knows what would truly be in our best interest.

Stand in Holy Places

     I scanned through old posts and couldn't find this subject so I hope I'm not boring anybody. As the moral stability of the world continues to spiral downward, I have thought a lot about how we can live in the world without being of the world. I have previously expressed the yearning to be with Heavenly Father and Jesus in a place of peace and harmony. We have been warned through prophets that as the time approaches for Jesus Christ to return to the Earth in a form where all mortals will recognize him, there will be wars and rumors of wars, men's hearts shall fail them, evil will be called good and good evil, love will wax cold, and other dire prophecies. As we are surrounded by neighbors, co-workers, even family members who may be deceived by Satan or even just confused as to what is right and wrong, how do we deal with it? We are told to love as He loves. But He also has told us, "my disciples shall stand in holy places, and shall not be moved". When Christ was on the Earth, he was often criticized for the company he kept. He explained that , "the well hath no need of a physician". He has also said that we should do as he did, follow Him in doing good works. So, how do we hang out with sinners yet stand in holy places and follow Christ in doing good yet remain unpolluted from the world? I thought about Him and how he managed to socialize and do good works among sinners. As in the story of the Good Samaritan, we are not to simply walk by, ignoring the plight of those around us. We also know that we will be judged according to how we judge others and that we are not to judge unrighteously. So even when we are aware that someone is in a bad position by their own choice, we are not to judge them unrighteously. Yet, we cannot support evil in any form and we know that God cannot tolerate evil in any form. So when are we supporting and when are we judging? When are we eschewing evil and when are we being self-righteous? Birds of a feather flock together so how can we be a good influence on those who are confused or misled yet stick with those who are living Christian standards? I don't know. But I have some ideas.
     First of all, I think the adage "love the sinner, hate the sin" has some value. We can scold a child for punching his sibling yet easily continue loving that child. We can recognize that physical sexual relations outside the bounds the Lord has set through the words of prophets is a sin, but continue to love a child or friend who is making choices outside those bounds. Jesus did NOT say to the woman taken in sin- it's all okay. I don't have a problem with your choices.- He said, "Neither do I condemn thee. Go thy way and sin no more." We don't really have the authority to speak in exactly that way, telling someone to go their way and sin no more. However, I think it's clear that we can let that person know we don't agree with or approve of what they're doing, but we still love them and not in a condescending way. We will continue to interact with them recognizing they have value just as we all do despite our sins.
     Secondly, standing in holy places is not limited to major geographical locations. We don't have to be in the Holy Land, or in the temple or in church. Our homes can be holy places. But mostly, just as we are considered "temples" by God, we can make ourselves holy places. Most people have experienced the feeling of being alone in a crowd. No matter where we are, if we are striving to obey the commandments, overcome the natural man who is an enemy to God, and follow the Savior, we are a holy place. If we can work at guiding our thoughts to remain pure enough to receive the guidance of the Holy Ghost, we are a holy place. We don't have to hate even when surrounded by hatred. We don't have to be angry even when surrounded by anger. We don't have to follow any crowd. That is a choice we make, which leads me to my final point for this blog.
     We make our own choices, even when we are choosing a herd mentality. When we follow the crowd, we are letting someone else dictate what our thoughts or actions should be. That is true of WHATEVER the crowd is doing. We need to decide independently what we want to do or think. It's not a good idea to decide anything in order to follow a crowd, even when the crowd is doing good things. If we are weak enough to require peer pressure, we will end up doing whatever those around us are doing at the moment which may be good at one moment but not so good at another. We need to study, pray, ponder, and seek for the wisdom to know what to do and the strength to do it. Righteousness is NOT determined by popular vote. When we are confident in a choice, we have the opportunity to be a leader, or at least an influence. So it's important that we make our own good choices, not based on others' opinions, then stand in that holy place and let our light shine!