Pity

As I watch the numbers on my scale go up and down, I decide what and how much I should eat and do my best to exercise self-restraint since I want to be healthy and I hate shopping. I don't want to have to buy new clothes, especially bigger ones! I enjoy going to church socials. It seems there are lots of good cooks that bring delicious dishes. I love getting edible gifts from friends. I appreciate being taken out to dinner. As I remember my youth, "obesity" wasn't even in the vocabulary for any of us kids. It's a growing concern now. I'm sure every generation feels that things have changed since they were young. But I really do pity kids today. There are too many who think of fruit roll-ups as fruit and will probably never know the difference  from a Macintosh apple to a Granny Smith or Delicious. When I grew up, French fries didn't really need to be avoided. We rarely ever had the chance to eat them- only when we went to a "restaurant" which was maybe once a year. We certainly never considered them a regular dietary option. We ate vegetables because they could be grown in our garden. We didn't have little baby already-peeled carrots. We had to peel the carrots, no matter how misshapen they were, and either eat them like Bugs Bunny or cut them up(when we were old enough to be trusted with a knife). Although we sometimes had a large piece of meat, like a roast, it wasn't a regular thing and we certainly didn't just eat as much of it as we wanted. Hamburgers were grilled or fried at home, not a regular drive-through menu choice. It seems that we now have "imitation" food- snacks high in salt, sugar, fats which used to be a minor seasoning, not a major food group.
As I continued to ponder, there are other things that today's kids have to resort to imitations for: we had merry-go-rounds on the playground. It was fun to get them going around so fast you were dizzy and walked funny when you got off. They have vanished, for "safety" reasons. Now kids have to resort to drugs to get that funny feeling in their heads. There are so many theme parks, water parks, and thrilling activities that swings or slides are just not a thrill for anyone over 5. I remember trying to pump higher and higher on a swing in an effort to see if I could get up even with the bar at the top of the swingset. It's getting harder and harder to cause thrills for kids.
I remember spending hours designing, drawing, and cutting out paper dolls. I can't imagine an 8 or 10 year old girl doing that now. They are too concerned with their own wardrobes, hairdos, fingernail polish, and even tattoos. Watching tv was a limited form of entertainment. We spent most of our time "playing", outside with other kids or siblings, inside by ourselves with toys that were much more limited in number than most kids now have and almost none of them required batteries. We actually had to use imagination sometimes! I pity today's kids who don't seem to comprehend pretending. That's too "babyish" for this sophisticated, worldly generation. I can understand how handy Kindles and e-books are, but reading a good book shouldn't have to require electricity, other than a light to see by.
These worldly, sophisticated kids don't have the kind of heroes kids used to have in books or movies. Today's "heroes" are shown in action-packed violent films or in canned-laughter silly sitcoms or reality shows. Instead of learning moral lessons like recognizing the wisdom of parents or the importance of being honest, kids now are learning how important it is to wear the "right" clothes, use the "right" words, and generally be cool and popular. To be a hero now, you have to smash up a city in an effort to save the world rather than simply helping someone out of a tight but realistic spot. Our jaded, worldly youth would not be much impressed with watching a kid who mows a neighbor's lawn or helps Mom carry in groceries, without any expectation of reward. Money used to be a rare treasure for kids. Now most kids expect to get a fairly sizable allowance for not doing any more than putting away their own laundry that someone else already washed and folded.  What about the one-on-one time that kids could have with parents while helping to fix dinner (too many don't even have a meal as a family-Hot Pockets in the microwave and away they go!) or repair the lawnmower (many dads don't know how and certainly don't invite their kids to help) or wash the car (drive through the local car wash for five bucks)?
I pity today's kids because they're going to have to learn the hard way. They aren't being taught in many households. They can't live on the convenient pre-made foods so readily available and be healthy. They'll get obese, have diabetes, heart problems, and other issues at a very young age. They'll huff and puff going up stairs when they're still young because they're overweight and unaccustomed to physical exertion. (Parents don't play in the yard with kids. They pay to go to a local gym to work out and just hope the kids are somehow getting physical exercise on their own.) They won't know how to survive if the electricity goes out. (Oh no! I can't charge my phone/Ipad/laptop or watch tv! What am I going to do to entertain myself?) They won't know how to shop because they have had it so good, they'll expect to have new clothes regularly, whatever form of entertainment their little whimsical hearts desire, and whatever they feel like eating no matter what the season is or how much food items cost. I don't think "worldly" is very intelligent or wise.

People can change

 I have been alive on this earth for over 60 years now. I have met lots of people and gotten pretty close to several. Each one of us spends time in intraspection at some point, trying to figure out just who we are or who we want to be. We each have talents, weaknesses, strengths, and some undesirable traits. My observation is that, no matter who we are at any point in our life, we can be different tomorrow, or next year, or several years from now.

I think the challenge is to make a decision as to who it is we WANT to be. Write it down if we have to. Tell someone else our goal to make it more real. Then, determine to keep working at it until we become who we want to be. It may be harder some days than others. We may backslide under stressful circumstances. But most of us are blessed with people in our lives who care about us. If we just let them know we are trying to be a better person, we can get encouragement when we weaken. And while we're working on trying to improve, it's nice to know we're loved right now for whoever we are today.

Becoming

Recently I have been frequently having toast (or English muffin or bagel) with peanut butter topped with some kind of fruit along with hot chocolate or milk for breakfast. It is a nutritionally balanced meal and I manage to avoid excess sugar, except for when I have hot chocolate,  by having fresh fruit rather than jam. I give full credit for this idea to my sister, Deedie. I had a family member notice my breakfast when we were together this past holiday time. She realized, too, what a good idea it is. So I have been thinking about how we make decisions in life. We tend to emulate others when we respect them. Deedie is in good physical condition so I respect her eating habits and tenacity in exercising. I can't quite keep up with her pace in exercise but I am determined to keep moving and I can learn from her food ideas, because I trust her. Recently a famous tv cook was chastised when she was diagnosed with diabetes and recognized she would have to tone down some of the excess fat in her cooking. (I think that's a fairly accurate account???) Anyway, there are people who LOVE to eat and cook, but I would hesitate to take their advice or copy their recipes because I don't want to look like they do or have the health problems they have, no matter how "yummy" their product may be.
That can carry through all aspects of our life. If I know someone whose marriage is mutually happy, loving, and respectful, I am more likely to want to hear their advice on how to improve MY relationship than I would be to get advice from someone who resents their spouse and is nasty to them, however "clever" their nasty comments may be. I find myself reluctant to take the advice of most people when it comes to entertainment. Most of what is in the media is shallow or gross rather than funny, gratuitously violent and gory rather than intriguing, or inflammatory rather than informing. So I listen to people who seem to me to be thoughtful, desiring of self-improvement, and kind. If that sort of person has read a book or seen a movie they would recommend, I probably will try it and very likely will enjoy it.
Fashion is fickle and I have seen styles come and go. I have realized that it isn't always a good idea to dress like the "masses". Some styles the designers come up with are simply not attractive on everybody. Some of them aren't attractive on ANYBODY! I have seen so many young women who try to "improve" their appearance by putting holes in their noses or eyebrows or lips to dangle ornaments from. Some who wear skimpy clothing that only accentuates whatever rolls of fat they have, even if small. Then there are those who wear skimpy clothing, even if it's cold out, just so everyone can see the tattoo they have had injected under their otherwise beautiful skin. At one point in my life, I was ready to go naked because I felt it was the most honest way to present myself. That's the foolishness of youth. Now I appreciate clothing to keep me warm, and to avoid the accentuation of possible flaws rather than trying to draw attention to my physical body.  
As is my general philosophy, I try to apply what I observe in others to my own behavior. If I want others to listen to my opinions and heed my advice, I need to live in such a way as to deserve their respect. That isn't necessarily always easy. Sometimes I am afraid or tired or would rather do something other than what I perceive as the "best" thing. I have to be a bit of a cheerleader inside and get myself going. I like to read better than I like to exercise. Reading is good but if I don't exercise, I will pay the price of an unhealthy body. I am afraid of the dentist. I guess a lot of people are. Sad, really, because most dentists are pretty harmless individuals. I actually admire them for choosing a career that I could never do. But I know if I don't face my fear and go to the dentist, I will pay the price of living in pain and resorting to baby food. Sometimes I am tired of thinking and just wish I could sit and entertain myself with a good book or puzzle until someone else told me what to do. But I don't want to be lazy and uncaring, so I try to open myself up to the pain of knowing other people's pain so I can perhaps be of help to them in some way.
I can't always know exactly how Jesus would act if He were here. But I can guess. I can keep studying the principles He taught and remember the example He set then try to emulate Him. You know, even if I were to find out at some point that He was a myth (which I don't even consider a possibility but I realize there are people who might think that way), I still think I would be further ahead by making choices to be Christlike than by following anyone else's example. When I reach my "death bed", I expect I will be happy with that choice. I will be happy with the person I have become.

Benefits

Recently I posted a blog about things I like in Sun City. I realize Russ and I have sometimes complained about living here (as we have done, unfortunately, about nearly every place we have lived at some point). I need, for only myself if no one else, to express gratitude for the benefits we are deriving from living here, now.
Spiritual benefits: These would be similar to what we had in Utah. We live near enough to a temple to go fairly regularly. There are people here willing to help on genealogy and we have a good family history center. I may not have quite as easy access to church materials as I had in Utah but the church is forging ahead with having so much available online that it really isn't a problem getting what I need in a timely manner. Although Russ still struggles with his faith, he is going to the temple pretty willingly.
Financial benefits: This is the area where we are really gaining. The bankruptcy we were forced into before leaving Ohio devastated us. We felt like we had a big "B" on our chests for everyone to see. In all honesty, hardly anybody on the planet knew we had filed for bankruptcy and the proceedings went fairly smoothly and quickly. We lost what we wanted to lose, namely the limousine business assets and debts. We kept what we hoped to keep, namely our house we had worked so hard to rehab and our vehicles (our truck was nothing worth mentioning and we sold it for a couple hundred dollars but our little car has been helpful). Just before he died, my father signed over ownership of his pickup to us so we have been able to lend an adequate vehicle to our son and his family for their use during their time in Washington, DC before going to their next post (in Jerusalem). We haven't yet sold our Dayton house but the woman who plans to buy it has been paying rent regularly so we have had no out-of-pocket expenses. We don't own the house we're living in and we don't even have to pay rent. We are only paying utilities and, here in Sun City, they are extremely affordable. We have had ready access to food at good prices, too. Russ and I have both been able to pick up a little extra money doing part-time work. It's not enough to worry about increasing our tax load, but enough to enable us to travel to see our family which is our highest priority in life.
Medical benefits: We have WONDERFUL medical insurance, thanks to Russ's job in the fire department. We have already benefited from getting a pension and health insurance in the retirement phase for nearly as long as we got an income and insurance while he was working! Being here, with minimal expenses, we have had dental work done for the first time in a long time. We were able to spend nearly $5000 last year. And now, when one of us breaks a tooth or has tooth pain, we don't have to just hope we can wait awhile and get the absolute minimal care done, which has meant pulling a tooth rather than trying to fix it. Our next step will be to get a good eye exam. Our health insurance doesn't cover eyes or dental so we have to pay full price. But we are able to do that right now without having to starve or go without lights and heat!
Cultural benefits: Again, Utah was an excellent place to live if you like concerts, plays, live shows, and decent movies at very good prices. But here in Sun City, we have been able to purchase recreation center tickets which get us into fairly recently released movies with free popcorn available 2 days a week, free outdoor concerts during the spring and fall seasons, and free indoor concerts on occasion. Although we know we don't want to live in a seniors-only community permanently, there are some percs available.
Family benefits: Although we are far from all our family, we have been able to host some family members here and have had the money to travel to see them as well as being able to afford to pay for the cabin where we had our family reunion last summer. We want to be able to see our kids and grandkids more but it's probably not such a bad thing that we are not involved in all the daily trials of raising children. In the end, things work out okay but the day to day struggles can sometimes be stressful. As we get older, we tend to like a little more peace and quiet. We have done our time with the all-day-every-day chaos of school, homework, discipline, squabbling, what to fix for dinner, etc.
So, I guess I have managed to remind myself that I don't need to wish away this time in my life like I have often done in the past. I always look forward to upcoming special events, but sometimes it's nice to just be content where I am.