Holiday feelings

I don't have any photos for this post. Russ and I are leaving for Germany the day after tomorrow and I have not had time to send out my usual Christmas newsletter. Maybe some of our friends and family find that to be good news. Anyway, I did want to take the time to send out a message of hope, love, and a desire for peace- not just the "NO MORE WAR" kind of peace. There would automatically be no more war is people would stop being greedy, self-centered, uncaring, and just plain mean. My desire is that we could be better at communicating- not twittering or texting or posting videos or pictures- but real, meaningful communicating. I wish that we could understand each other better to avoid all of the hurt and anger that results from misunderstandings. I wish we could all have a desire to better take care of each other's needs so that nobody would be a couch potato leech and nobody would have to just give and give and do and do. We all have different resources- talents, skills, money, connections. We could so benefit if we all shared better.
Russ and I have been greatly blessed over the years to have many wonderful people as our friends- some of them related to us and some not related as far as I have yet determined! It is heartwarming to us to look at old pictures or receive a call or letter from someone who has given of themselves to make our life brighter. I'm grateful for good examples of reaching out in love, giving even by sacrifice, and tenacity in the face of great obstacles. When I stop to really analyze it, my life is pretty easy. Sometimes I indulge in self-pity and feel discouraged and I'm sorry for that. I'm working at being stronger in faith and determination. I'm grateful for the love and forgiveness I receive from those that love me- my friends, my family, and my Lord and Savior. I am happy to celebrate His birth and the good news that He came to give us the opportunity to go on to a place where people will be loving, helpful, forgiving, and willing.
Merry Christmas and may 2010 be a year of growth, achievement and peace.

Home at last!

Angela has known for a couple of weeks that Scott would be able to return from Afghanistan before Christmas but she actually managed to pull off the miracle of keeping it secret from her 3 sons. People in her ward (church) and family and Air Force circle knew, but nobody let it slip. The boys left the house Saturday night with the impression that they were going out for some ice cream because they had helped to clean the house. Rather than go to Friendlys' as promised, Angela headed to the airport. It didn't take long for these very intelligent lads to figure out why they were going to the airport. Airports (at least Dayton, I don't know about other places) are now allowing service personnel families to go past security to greet or say farewell to deployed loved ones. So Angela and the boys were able to go to the gate to greet Scott. Russ and I missed getting to see their initial reactions but this is what we saw when they all got to the main part of the airport where we were waiting along with some people from the Air Force base. Sorry about the men in the way but I guess they just didn't realize how important the view was to us! Martin's first reaction was to ask Scott if he was only going to be home for two weeks. It was happy news to him that Dad was home to stay!
I just had to make a sign. Somehow I didn't feel that the sight of us just standing there smiling was enough to let Scott know how excited we were to have him safely returned. I tried to be a little humorous.......

In the bag are some balloons that we had taped around the edges of the sign. We were getting ready to leave when I realized I hadn't gotten a photo of the sign so we unrolled it but didn't bother taping the balloons back on before going back out into the cold wind.

We are happy for the Orme family. Scott has received several medals, including combat medals. I guess it will be okay to hear some stories now that we know he is out of range of the bullets. But he may not want to spend a lot of time reliving it. That seems to often be the case with returning soldiers. I don't blame them. I don't even like reading or hearing the news stories of war or violent crime!

Now we are hoping that our other son-in-law also gets to return home safely. We pray for him and for my nephew who will be having to leave his family to go over for a year. It just goes on and on......

Thanksgiving

(I'm a little late in posting a blog about Thanksgiving. Oh well, sometimes life is like that.) When I think about Thanksgiving, I generally picture a Norman Rockwell version of an extended family sitting around a large dining table with Grandma in her apron smiling and Grandpa standing at the end of the table carving a large brown roasted turkey...or maybe the family with heads reverently bowed in a prayer of Thanksgiving, which is the purpose of the holiday. I'm posting photos of the Thanksgiving we had this year- not at all like the images in my mind. But we did enjoy the holiday and traveled safely and are VERY grateful that the Lord heard and answered our prayers for everyone to remain healthy and to have decent weather and no traveling mishaps. My oldest sister lives in Alabama and her older son and family live right next door. We stayed at my sister's house but some of the time was spent next door. This photograph is one of the favorite activities of the children. You can see the mothers (my beautiful daughters and daughter-in-law) watching in the background as the children show their amazing engineering skills in building a railroad. Tanis is 14 and was the oldest but he was really wonderful in NOT acting the usual part of the sullen teenager. He was very patient and caring with his younger cousins. His superior track-building abilities were appreciated! The other favored activity was in the living room just inside the above lovely sunroom. As you can see, the boys were all captivated by video games on the large television set.

We did manage to eat a fairly traditional meal- and LOTS of it! This is Carol's house (she's the one standing in the middle of the picture) on Thanksgiving day. I don't know that I could begin to remember all of the foods laid out there. Her family was so generous in their offering. We didn't supply anything but appetites! The two turkeys were deep-fried. We had southern dumplings along with the mashed potatoes and stuffing. We had quite an assortment of pasta-type salads. Angela did make a couple of pecan pies to go with the other yummy desserts, which we had to eat a couple of hours after the main part of the meal due to lack of stomach space. So the meal wasn't quite the old-fashioned meal like 50 years ago- but we did say a prayer of thanksgiving before eating. We were together as a loving, extended family. We had a wonderful feast! I think we were all grateful and happy to be together living in a land of prosperity and freedom. The next photo was one I wanted to include because I thought it was cute. As we traveled back to Ohio, I turned around to see 3 of my grandsons all sucking on lollipops, looking at a book together. I so love my family!

He liked to smile

Thirty years ago, God gave us the gift of this son. He smiled and laughed so much that sometimes it got him in trouble. I hope he is smiling today, happy to be with our Savior.
Ammon gave us more of a gift several years later in the form of the wonderful young woman he married and the 3 delightful children they created. Happy birthday, Ammon. We miss you.

No Pictures, just questions

I have been having discussions lately that have caused me to wonder how to determine righteous actions. There are scriptures to back up the various elements of this struggle. I don't know how many people actually read my blog these days but I invite any and all comments and opinions. God has promised that if we serve Him, he will protect this country. He promised a similar thing to the children of Israel but they "went a-whoring" after "other gods". This country was established by men who believed in God and assumed that, although the government would never establish a religion, it would also not prohibit religion. Is that a fair statement? This country is not only a land of freedom because God wanted it so, but also by the laws of the land, written by men. At what point are we jeopardizing God's protection in allowing individual freedoms? There are people who say they don't believe a human being is a separate entity until they can survive outside of the womb. With medical intervention, that has gotten pretty early but certainly not as soon as conception. I believe abortion is wrong, except possibly in instances of serious endangerment to the mother or rape. I would not want to support a public policy to allow people who would have abortions as a method of "birth control". Is that infringing on an individual's right according to the laws of the land? I know for certain that God would not want any of His children to agree to it in that way. But how do we "separate" morality from worldly politics? Can I maintain my moral standards if I say something like, "I would never do that or feel that it is right for others to do it but I would not want a law prohibiting it"...? What about homosexuality? I believe God created two genders because they are supposed to be able to mate, create children, and support each other emotionally, financially, and morally. Do I have the "right" to prohibit someone else from making what I consider an immoral choice if it doesn't have a direct negative affect, other than offending my moral sense? If I try to take a stance in opposition to gay marriage, I am labelled a bigot. Do I not have a right to find something that is against my moral standards to be offensive? I would not want to find people having intercourse whenever or wherever they want, whether or not they are both "consenting adults". Do I have a right to believe in obscenity laws? I am grateful that someone several years ago set up a rating system for movies. The standards seem to be slipping a bit but there is still a warning available to those who would find elements of an R-rated movie offensive so they can avoid it. I guess people justify car seatbelt laws by the cost of insurance going up for everyone when people get more injured than they might have had they been wearing a seat belt. There isn't really anything like insurance costs for immoral behavior- using foul language, sexual behavior, lying to people if it doesn't happen to involve government issues or money. I would venture to say that the cost is there but not easily measured. I think the cost is the quality of society. I think that when people hold a higher moral standard, the society prospers in many ways. There is something deep inside human beings that answers to a higher call. When people avoid cursing, they not only seem more intelligent, but they act more pleasant to others. When people keep sex within boundaries of privacy between a married man and wife, society better comprehends and can embrace the relationship. The family is a stable element of the larger society. When people honor and respect others by having integrity, society benefits.
What do you think?

Another family event

This is Jennica Lynn terHorst in her lovely blessing gown that was worn several years ago by her sister, Janna. The members of the family that lived close enough to Cincinnati gathered last Sunday for her blessing at church. I wish I could have taken a picture in church because it is always an awesome sight to see a group of large men (especially Jennica's father) holding a tiny infant, slightly more tenderly than they would hold a football.

I loved looking around the chapel to see members of the family all inter-mixing. There are a few of us who live fairly near each other- temporarily. But it's so comforting to know that children are perfectly happy to sit with older cousins and babies can be well-cared for by aunts and uncles. The children performed in the primary program with everyone remembering their lines and one of the older children played a descant on her flute. Victoria played the piano for the whole program. The photo below was at the terHorst home where we gathered after church for a meal. Brooklyn has now been replaced as the tiniest member of the family. She doesn't seem to mind at all. In fact, she was quite sweet to her cousin, even when her mother was holding her!
I'm so grateful that God gave us the opportunity to be in families so we can learn deep, unconditional love. We can feel security and learn how to serve others. I am grateful that my family is not one of the ones in the world that is being torn apart by long-held grudges or rebellious paths of "alternate lifestyles" that create gulfs between members' standards. Sure, we have our differences. But for the most part, we get along pretty well.

The loves of my life

Despite some aspects of my current life that are troubling, I derive incredible joy from my family. None of us are perfect by any means. We certainly have weaknesses and faults. But my family is a wonderful collection of loving, kind, honest, helpful people. Recently we got together with Angela and her boys for one of my "taste-it-try-it" dinners. I choose a few different recipes and food items that the kids have likely never tried in an effort to "expand their horizons". After dinner Russ showed some slides and told some stories of his childhood. Then we became a campaign headquarters for Joshua as we prepared posters and other materials to boost him in his bid for student council treasurer. (He didn't win despite our awesome efforts. He will probably be his class representative like he was last year.) We also helped Martin with some social studies homework. For a birthday present to Russ and me (our birthdays are close together in October), Angela got tickets for us to ride the "Pumpkin Express" out of Lebanon, Ohio. It was the first time riding on a train for Victoria and her kids as they came along, too. Russ and I have ridden on trains before but we enjoy it! We rode to a nearby farm that had some animals to see and pet, a pumpkin patch where you make a choice to take home, and a corn maze. Russ and I took Kadon and Brooklyn through the corn maze. Since this area has tallied up twice the normal rainfall for the month so far, it was pretty muddy. We made it almost all the way to getting out again before Brooklyn took her first face-plant in the slippery goo. I had been trying to hold her hand. But, for anyone who knows 2-year olds, they don't ever want help. Each time I would grab her hand, she would reach over with her other hand and disattach me. There was no place there to clean up so she ended up pretty brown from head to toe for the ride home.

On October 5, the day after Brooklyn's birthday, our 16th grandchild was born- a little early but mother and baby were just fine. Jennica was a little over 6 pounds and in quite a rush to be delivered. Her dad, John, was in California doing his pilot thing but grabbed the first possible jumpseat home to arrive later in the day. It always amazes me to look at miniature fingers, toes, ears, noses, and everything that function so well! Russ and I spent a couple of days at John and Janice's home where I did some chauffeuring of busy teenagers, cleaning and organizing and Russ helped John put in a new tile floor and toilet in the bathroom.

Birthdays and New Year Days seem to cause reflection and a review of one's life so far. I like to think I am more like a fine wine- improving with age- rather then an old garment- worn out. I like to think I am more patient, more forgiving, more understanding. I am more tolerant of people who are different from me except when it comes to choices that are destructive. I still need to learn how to watch people hurt themselves and others, by their own choices!, without wanting to step in and stop them or give advice that is unrequested and unwanted. Each generation seems to have to learn for themselves. We just keep having to clean up the messes over and over again. How does God stand watching us?!!

Highs and Lows

Recently it feels like we are riding an emotional rollercoaster. We have been riding high on some really wonderful things and dipping low with bad news. I thought I left this behind once I passed the teenage years with the wide swings of hormones! We have continued to feel frustrated by some of the people here in Dayton that just seem to have a selfish, inconsiderate way of life. We just received really sad news of a family we knew well in a place we lived previously. Due mostly to drugs, illegal ones and prescription ones not taken properly, a violent death and all the agony surrounding it has occurred to a good family. It has shocked the community and all those who have lived there.
On the high side, last night we got to see a live David Copperfield performance of amazing magic here in Dayton. The tickets were more expensive than the arts we were so privileged to enjoy back in NY or in Utah, but the entertainment was exciting! And that came at the end of a weekend of uplifting, reassuring, comforting talks by our church leaders. General Conference is a wonderful opportunity to be reminded of how good it could be and will be someday for those who choose to follow Christ. Why would anyone be content to live with dishonest people who steal, rape, murder, cheat, and destroy other people's lives? I don't understand why everyone doesn't rush to live the Golden Rule so they treat others as they would want to be treated thus creating a society where you can trust everybody! Is it really so difficult to be "good"? Every mortal has a conscience. Every human being knows when they are being mean or dishonest or even just lazy and inconsiderate. Why is that the default mode of living? Why would anyone purposely choose to be that kind of person rather than exercising self-control enough to avoid hurting others- Or at least feel sorry enough to apologize after a weak moment and determine not to treat people that way anymore because they would not want to be treated that way by others? Are we to live in kindergarten forever with the self-centered grabbing and insulting reactions to others? I am truly grateful that I live in an age when I can hear, and later read, the words of good people who are encouraging me to keep striving for a more pleasant civilization. Power to the good!!!

It is like a mission

I know I have said it before, but it truly is like serving a mission living here in Dayton. Today I spoke for awhile with the security guard who sits in the parking lot of the building where we hold church every Sunday morning. I would think that at my age I would be fairly aware of things that go on in the world, sometimes really awful things that people do. Somehow it has mostly seemed pretty distant to my everyday life. This man has been in jail and has a cousin who is currently serving time in prison. He was telling me about how his cousin has been repeatedly abused by other prisoners to the point that he reacts to people around him much as my brother reacted to people after returning home from Viet Nam. If he has anyone unexpectedly behind him, he is quick to whirl around preparing to defend himself. Most members of our church here are dealing with addiction problems, either recovering themselves or trying to help family members. Violence, drugs, alcohol, abuse of children, rape, all of the things I have thought of as being part of R or even X rated movies are a part of life here. I have never read the paper without a report of at least 2 murders in the area. I often wonder how the police here can refrain from becoming pretty cynical about mankind in general.
The members of the church here are good-hearted for the most part. If it weren't for the church welfare system which provides food, I would probably be serving many of them in a soup kitchen. Even those who have been members for many years have about as much doctrinal understanding as younger primary children in other places. Occasionally I try to describe what it's like to live among large groups of Latter-Day Saints. I try to help them understand that there really are people who are honest, willing to help, serve diligently and dependably in church callings, pray regularly in private as well as public, and just live clean lives. I try to explain activities for children that are fun yet educational and uplifiting. I try to explain having large groups of people that are smiling, friendly, kind, and caring. Most of these people just haven't experienced that. I wish I could transport them to the ward we lived in when we lived in Utah, even for a day. They would probably feel out of place at first because the people there are cleaner and better educated. I don't mean they are all college-educated or high class. They just have a pleasant countenance. They speak with confidence stemming from knowing who they are. I really can't tell if I'm having an affect here. I want so badly for them to know they are loved children of a Heavenly Father. He wants them to develop their potential and feel happy and confident. They hear wonderful things at church then go home to scary neighborhoods and cluttered often dirty homes. I pray I can lift them enough to motivate them to make their homes islands of peace and accomplishment. All it costs is soap and energy. If they could just hang on to the determination to overcome all that is dragging them down. All I can do is keep trying.... be patient......keep loving them.

Thoughts on sacrifice

Getting philosophical again, I have wondering about sacrifice- specifically how much is too much? Without getting out a dictionary, I think sacrifice means basically giving up something you value, usually for what you might deem a "higher purpose". In the Old Testament of the Bible, Abraham was asked by the Lord to prepare to sacrifice his son. He had waited a long time for this son and Isaac was really important to him. However, Abraham loved the Lord and trusted that He loved him enough that he would not ask of him anything that was totally unreasonable or unfair. So he took his son up on a mountain and prepared to offer him. We could just dismiss the whole story as a parable without any basis in fact and I suppose there are many people who feel that way about it. It brings up the concept of what it means to "have faith" in God. It means a whole lot more than simply believing He exists. It means believing He knows us, cares about us, and that we can trust Him completely. He is more powerful than we mortals so there are some who may feel that we don't have any choice but to trust Him; He can do whatever He wants and we are powerless to stop Him. That's another element of trust in Him. Is He really wiser than we are? I know there were lots of times when I doubted the wisdom of my parents, teachers and other older people in my life. We tend to be reluctant to relinquish our power of choice when we don't completely trust someone else. I would have a hard time trusting my husband to choose what shirt I should wear with a certain skirt or pair of pants. On the other hand, I would probably not worry about letting him choose what food item to order for me at a fast food place. He knows what I like and he knows my digestive problems. He loves me and would not want me to suffer needlessly.
I think it's really hard when something doesn't work out quite like we thought it might or even hoped it would, to completely relax and TRUST that God knows better than we do. At the time Russ didn't get a job we tried hard for him to get, we were disappointed and had no idea that a better job- even the perfect job for him was opening up in the not-too-distant future. Sometimes we can see that there is an even better plan. But sometimes, we don't get to see, in this life, how much better things worked out than they might have. Sometimes in our independence and defiance, we want to say, "NO! I don't want it this way! I want it MY WAY!" Do you know what? We can't have it that way. We can't control the weather. We can't control anything other people do, short of holding a gun to their heads to demand something and even then, they may be more insistent than we are. We can't make the sun come up sooner or go down later. Much as we like to think, and often act, otherwise, we really can't control anything but our own thoughts and actions. God can control the weather- because he knows a lot more than we do about how that is done. God can't, or rather won't make people do things. So when we make a choice to help a stranger, hug a crying child, avoid a fight, or put in extra hours serving others, we are giving God the only thing we truly can have sole control over- our will to think and act. Sometimes it feels like we have done enough for others. We have folded enough laundry, we have moved enough furniture, we have lifted enough burdens, and on and on. Abraham was willing to put his son on a pile of rocks and offer him as a sacrifice. God had given him that son in the first place. We don't really own anything- except for our thoughts and actions. That is all we have to give to God and that is what He most wants. Because that is how we show Him we trust Him. That is how we "prove" that we love Him enough to do whatever it takes to learn to be like Him enough to be worthy to dwell in His presence.
When I get tired of doing things for others, I hope I can remember all this. I know it's true, but sometimes I get tired and I forget.

Alligator, Budokon, and swimming at the Y

The nearly two-week trip I recently took to Florida included visits to my sister in Louisiana as well as my sister in Alabama. Once Lisa was safely recovered from the swine flu, she was quick to encourage me to go ahead and make the drive to visit Deedie. It was a six-hour drive there, one full day to visit, and a six-hour drive back to Lisa's but it was definitely worth it! The first evening when I arrived, Deedie and I feasted on shrimp (that her husband Mike had caught or netted or whatever they call it with a friend that does it for a living) and vegetables and dip. It was my first time seeing the home she has lived in for over a year. In the morning we went for a walk, did yoga, had a quiet breakfast and talked and talked and talked. I mean, I love my children and grandchildren but the chance to just converse with another adult that you love and know they love you is just wonderful! That evening, Deedie and Mike took me to a local restaurant where I had alligator, frogs' legs, catfish, stuffed shrimp, and enjoyed it thoroughly! It worked out well that Russ hadn't come along because he wouldn't have enjoyed it at all. Before leaving the next morning, Deedie and I went for a walk again and she introduced me to "budokon" which is a combination of yoga, martial arts, and meditation. We mostly did the yoga part because of the time involved. I'm still the largest of my sisters but I'm not TOTALLY out of shape. When I got back to Lisa's, she was feeling much better and we proceeded to have a birthday celebration for 2-year old Elliette. In this photo, you can see the tami-flu prescriptions that apparently worked because neither of Lisa's two kids got sick.

While at Lisa's, I enjoyed walks- even though it meant getting really hot and sweaty- as well as swimming at the Y. For a girl that never really like physical education, Lisa is in really good shape. She runs, swims, and bikes like an athlete.

I'm so glad I have been able to be with my grandchildren at least often enough that they are comfortable with me. Knowing that our circumstances would cause great geographical distances between family members, I have tried hard to never be a stranger to my grandchildren. I love it when they climb up on the couch to "read with me", or run to give me a hug when I arrive, or want me to pick them up or to sit on my lap. It's good to feel loved.
I'm also glad that I can enjoy being active with my family members. We all enjoy good food but we also enjoy physical activities. (I walked around my sister Carol's yard with her then we had vanilla ice cream with maple syrup and walnuts. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm!)

Hard to believe

We still have this wonderful old piano that we bought at an auction in Lansing, NY around 1971 for $22. I made these family outfits. They were pretty stylish at the time. I am still taller than Russ and his hair is thinner, mine all white. The little boy is now a diplomat for the US State Dept. and father of 3 and husband of a lovely, intelligent wife. The girl is a very busy, very talented mother of 3 trying to keep up with being a single mom while her husband serves at a far away, lonely base in Afghanistan. The cat at our feet has long since departed followed by 2 more cats and a dog, also departed. I can't tell for sure what condition Russ was in at the time this photo was taken. I was a very young 19 1/2 year-old mother. This was taken at Russ's parents' home soon after the birth of our first child. So long ago...............

I had intended this picture to be first but I seem to be good at screwing up the order when I want to upload photos. Oh well.........This was taken just prior to Russ's departure for active duty in 1969. I was recently graduated from high school and I think we had just gotten engaged. This was in the Syracuse, NY airport. I just read an article that said that people who smile wider in photos when they're young live longer and happier. Hmmm........

House #3

This is the home of our younger daughter, Lisa, and her family on Eglin AFB in Florida. This is the third house they have been in on the same base. The Air Force is gradually tearing down houses so the other houses they lived in don't even exist anymore. And due to the tropical climate, the sand and rapid growth of vegetation has covered any evidence they even existed! This is the back yard. When I went down to help Lisa move last year, her husband was deployed so she and I put up the fence by ourselves. We had never put up a chain link fence before but understood the concept. It works to keep the dogs and kids in. We were pretty proud of the results.

I took these pictures just days ago when I was down there again. Lisa called and sounded awful over the phone. It turned out she had swine flu. She was running a fever of 104 for several days and was vomiting uncontrollably. I know she was sicker than she might have been because she kept trying to do everything! Once again, her husband is deployed overseas and she is left to take care of the house, yard, kids, and pets. She had to be ready for a yard inspection so she was mowing the lawn with a fever. She had to get dog food and milk so she was shopping and running errands despite being really sick. Once I got there, she was finally able to stop and get some rest. I took her to get her anti-nausea prescription so she could hold down a fever reducer and drink fluids and sleep. It was such a relief when her fever finally broke. She healed really quickly. I'm sure it's because she gets lots of exercise and eats pretty healthy so she's in good shape. The kids were given Tami-flu so they didn't get sick. The Lord was watching over me so I didn't get sick. Thank you, Heavenly Father!

Friends are a blessing

Not many people who might look in on this blogspot will know the people pictured here. A couple of weeks ago, we surprised our friend Dar Cobane at her birthday party in Elkhart, Indiana. It was good to see someone who loves us as we love her. It was good to see her kids, too. Stacy, her daughter, used to think James was great and she was a really close friend of Angela. Adam, her brother is certainly much more grown-up than I remember him being! We left the party a little before 9 and got about an hour away when our car died- permanently. We were towed, thanks to our insurance, and taken to a motel. Then on Sunday morning we called Dar and asked if someone in her family could drive us back halfway and we got a friend from Dayton to come pick us up in Fort Wayne, Indiana. In the end we got $100 for our car. It has taken us all over the country and served us, and James's family, well. Ammon was the one who found the car for us down in southern Utah when he and Victoria were newly married.

Time just keep passing. Pain gets more bearable and friends are more dear. But there is always new pain, but also new friends. I guess they help balance us out.

We just keep going. We just got the news that an old friend from 20 years ago chose not to keep going. I guess it was just too difficult for him. We may never know why. We have sent condolences to his wife and family. We pray for their comfort. We just keep going..........

Can you see it?

Russ did his usual marvelous job of repairing so you might not be able to see the tear in this photo of the roof of the big, white limousine. I forgot to take a "before" picture. Another aspect of the limousine business that is FAR from being glamorous: drunks. Last night the limo was scheduled for a "birthday party". After several hours of bar-hopping, the passengers got into a spat. These people were mostly family of each other. At a stop to deliver someone home, I guess he ran into the house and right back out with a rifle to threaten someone still in the car. I wasn't there so I can only report 3rd hand. A shot was fired. The limo drivers urged the people out and, after a comment from the shooter to the affect that he didn't have anything against the drivers so they should just leave, they drove away. After a good effort at cleaning up broken glass and the mess inside and outside the limo, it was parked in our driveway sometime in the wee hours of the morning (after midnight because that's when Russ returned home from an airport run). Russ shampooed the carpet, I washed the glasses and set up a fan to dry out the carpet, and we got ready to leave for the 4X a month trip to and from Detroit-Cincinnati. The newspaper today was just page after page, article after article of murders, crime, and bad news. Can the Second Coming be far away?!

Driver Education

Near the cabin in Kentucky where we stayed there were some recreational activities, among them was bumper cars. Due to the fact that there weren't many people there, we got all the cars to ourselves. Brooklyn was too small to go on a car so I volunteered to sit out with her and watch. Here is Brooklyn receiving a visual lesson in driving. Hopefully, she didn't learn very much of this particular style.

Everybody had good fun and no one got hurt, not even anyone's feelings. All in all, it was a great activity. And I think the ride operator gave our family a little extra time because it seemed to last quite awhile.

Family vacation

Russ and I just spent 4 days with Angela and her 3 boys and Victoria and her 3 kids along with Jana terHorst in Kentucky. We were delighted when we arrived to find out that the cabin we had reserved had air conditioning. It was basically a one-room cabin, with a full bathroom, but there was a kitchen area with a 2-burner hot plate, small refrigerator, microwave, and large sink.

It had a roomy loft for the kids to have their own private kid-spot to campout with their sleeping bags. Brooklyn (not quite 2) really wanted to go up there, too, but it required help and a constant companion so we limited that.
There was a set of bunk beds, a double bed, and a double futon so we had lots of space for sleeping comfortably. Brooklyn's crib was set up in a closet so we could hang a sheet over the opening to make it dark since she went to bed earlier than nearly everybody else.

The front porch overlooked the forest surrounding us. There were several cabins in a circle so you could just barely see the end of your neighbor's front porch. The kids had a really good time exploring the little ditch/stream (building a dam and throwing rocks in the water) and it was pretty safe so we could let them just go off together as a group without constant supervision. (They didn't go far and were generally in need of food, drink, or bathroom often enough to bring them back before we got concerned.)

It really is nice to have a family where the children are being brought up to be helpful, considerate of others, ready to learn, and basically pretty well-behaved. There was some chaos as would be expected with 7 children of various ages, but everyone mostly got along pretty well. With the exception of Joshua smashing his finger with a heavy rock (he lost his fingernail and bled a lot but nothing broke and he didn't require stitches), no one got sick or hurt. Mammoth Cave was very large! But the other area attractions we had planned to see were mostly closed because school had started there already. Kentucky ought to inform tourists of that schedule!

How can they forget?

My children are all grown now, with children of their own. I delight in watching them play with, talk to, worry over, and deeply love each and every one of their children. I used to play with, plan parties for, worry over, and cuddle every one of my children. I can't really hold these independent adults on my lap or hug and kiss them ferociously anymore. It just wouldn't be right. (They would freak out if I tried!) Even though the relationship has changed, I still have deep inside me that passionate love I developed as I watched for their baby eyes to close as I sang to them and rocked them to sleep. I still worry about them as I did when they had a fever or weren't home when they were supposed to be. I still long for them to be happy as I did when I spent hours making a gift or planning a party for them.

Their focus now is on their little ones, which is as it should be. I know that, as fully developed individuals, they have established their own opinions and ways of doing things. Now they know that I really don't know everything and can't fix everything and my hugs and kisses will not take pain away and make it all better. But my feelings toward them haven't changed. I still love them fiercely and my greatest desire is for them to be happy.

Did you know that God's work and glory is to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man? He is the Father of all of us and He loves us enough that He allowed His only perfect Firstborn Son to be ridiculed, betrayed, beaten and crucified to pay the price for all of us to have the opportunity to choose to repent and live with Him forever. He wants to give us everything He has. Lots of people think of that as gold and silver and riches. But the most precious thing He has that will be most valuable to us is knowledge and wisdom. He can give us knowledge and try to teach us wisdom but we have to decide it's what we want...... more than the gold, silver, jewels, big-screen tvs, fancy cars, big houses, fame, titles......................................................

I can but I can't

Russ and I have been working on getting a house ready for Victoria and the kids to move into. Their landlord is very cooperative and generous. He has spent a large amount of time and money fixing up the house. We have been helping to speed up the project so there won't be painting and heavy cleaning to do once they have all moved in. We have spent 2 full days taping and spackling. I have also spent a day cleaning a stove and another day worth of time cleaning a refrigerator, bathtub, and some windows. I am glad I have the ability to do this work and do it well. However, I know for certain that despite my "expertise", I could never do this full-time or for a job. My hands just won't do it. I know that during the time we worked on this house we are living in, my hands got to the point where I had to take pain relievers and anti-inflamation medications. Russ often had to massage my hands in the mornings just so I could bend my swollen fingers. After just 2 days doing the work I do so well, my hands have reverted to hurting and swelling. I am truly grateful that I have not got the painfully debilitating diseases or injuries that many people have, causing a severe restriction of activities. But I can say I know how they feel when they are frustrated by an inability to do what they want to do. It's great that I know how to plaster and am really good at cleaning to the point that an oven looks new, even if it has't been cleaned in several years. But it's a bummer that it hurts too much to do it except when I really, really want to, enough to deal with the discomfort. I want to help people, especially loved ones, more than anything. I hope I can continue to find ways to do that.

I love parade!

I know- I whine a lot about living in an urban jungle dog-eat-dog, vicious inner-city. But if we go not far from the boundaries of Dayton, there are smaller suburbs with life more like I prefer. Last night Angela and her boys marched in a parade in Vandalia which is where the "Dayton" airport is. They have an annual air show which is pretty spectacular. Along with the air show they have an annual parade. Although budget cuts are pretty much doing away with high school music programs, there are local groups (church sponsored or just involved parents) who want to give their kids an alternative to gangs. Below is a photo of one of those groups. If you look carefully, in front of the woman dressed in white shirt and red pants is a pint-sized drummer. He couldn't be much more than 3 years old. He was carrying a little bass drum and pounding on it for all he was worth. If nothing else, these kids had rhythm! There weren't many of what I remember as "floats" really but there were some interesting looking vehicles.

After an hour and 10 minutes, the group of scouts I was watching for finally arrived! This parade was easily 1 1/2 hours long, pretty impressive for a small town in Ohio. The church scout group had chosen the pinewood derby as kind of their theme. Not wanting to be just a group of kids carrying their little wooden cars, Angela decided to make a pinewood derby replica big enough to ride in. Tanis is just out of this photo but he is pulling Joshua who is riding in the cardboard, duct tape, and craft paint car built on a street luge that Tanis and his dad had built.

This photo shows more of the group with Tanis pulling the little pinewood derby car.

I marched in a lot of parades when I was young. They have always given me a little thrill. Somehow, watching people walk and vehicles drive down the street just isn't the same as the line-up of high school bands spaced just right to avoid competing sounds with floats large and small interspersed. I'm really glad Angela took the time to have her boys make their little car. It's sad that parades are going the way of everything but computers and related screen-type entertainment. It's sad that so many youth are deceived into thinking they are learning to play an instrument when they just know how to turn on an electronic "toy". Our electronic technology has been a boon to our access to information but it is also providing the downfall for real social interaction and personal growth.

Attention Carol, Deedie, and Gloria

Among the things in my mother's closets that I weeded out for her were an old red sheet that had a couple of holes and some flowered fabric that had been cut from what used to be drapes. since I flew down to Arizona and didn't want to have to check luggage, I knew I wouldn't have space to take much home. I have had this old church pew on the porch for quite awhile but it needed a cover for the seat. Since I intend to leave the pew with the house, I didn't want to invest money in the seat. So I brought the old drapes and sheet home, combined them with a couple of old mattress covers I have been using as packing blankets, and made a cover for the pew. I am definitely not in favor of hoarding stuff. It piles up really badly. I prefer to keep what I think I can use, then USE IT! Otherwise, I get rid of it by giving it to Goodwill (or a similar thrift store), recycle it, or throw it away if it really isn't usable. But I know, it's the sorting that's a pain.

The nitty gritty

I am starting to get used to the stares when I'm riding with Russ in the limousine. It is an impressively looooong car. I had never had the experience of riding in a limousine before we got into this business. I would stare, as I see others doing now, at a limousine wondering what "important person" was being transported to what "important event". Keeping a limousine in such awesome condition requires lots of time and effort. It has to be washed, including scrubbing the tires so the whitewalls are white and the chrome shines, vacuumed, carpets shampooed, champagne glasses washed and polished, candy dishes replenished, seat belts rolled uniformly, ice buckets cleaned and refilled with soda and water (we have no liquor license thank goodness so that has to be supplied by those wanting it), and fresh flowers carefully placed. In addition, Russ spends hours exploring, repairing, and replacing elements of the function of the automobile as well as the custom features of lighting, karaoke, DVD and CD player/radio. Now when I see a limousine go by, I am more likely to assume that it's either a wedding, some excited young teens going to a prom, or just a group of people looking for a thrill. It's just not all that glamorous.

A big long-term project

Behind the kitchen of this house we have renovated was the remnants of a stone-walled garden area that was overgrown with trees and weeds. Russ's original reaction to it was to simply remove it all and plant grass. I was attracted by the romantic image of an herb garden just outside the kitchen door so I wanted to "fix" it. The garden area seen in the final photo at the end of this blog post is the result of the efforts of multiple people over the 2+ years we have been here. The first thing we did, which I don't have a picture of, was to remove an extension of the stone wall that was an obstacle near the entrance to the basement. Then while Russ and I were away for a few days, Ammon and Angela risked life and limb to cut down a large, mature tree in one end of the walled space that had caused the wall to bulge and collapse. Then, last fall, Russ and I tackled what ended up being a really big job of removing the "stump". We had tried a couple of times before and had dug around it on occasion but never got far. It seemed like more than one stump intertwined with roots going on forever!

Before completely finishing clearing this end of the garden, Russ started rebuilding the end that had originally widened near the basement opening. The photo below shows the end Russ had built and shows Russ digging the foundation for a section of the wall yet to be rebuilt.

As we were relocating some of the dirt to allow for the foundation to be poured, we discovered a hole. It's hard to tell from this picture but as I shone a flashlight into the hole, I couldn't see a bottom! When I threw in a small rock, it seemed to just disappear! We didn't really want to unearth a huge hole. We didn't know how big it was or what its original purpose was and didn't have anything to fill it back in with. After some discussion and assumptions from various features of the house, we decided it was probably originally a cesspool to collect drainage before the house was connected to city water system. It became a convenient place to take care of bits of concrete that would have weighed very expensively at the dump then we blocked off the opening we had uncovered (see below) and re-buried it. It would have been nice to find a buried treasure but, alas, that is the stuff dreams and movies are made of.

So, here at last, in all its glory, is the final garden, the work of many hands over many hours- much more than anyone could imagine. I have planted what was left of the petunias I bought for the front of the house and didn't have room for along with a packet of cilantro seeds I moved here from Utah. Anyone need any cilantro? I'm going to have way more than I can use. The seeds are still good apparently. Eventually I want to put in strawberries and herbs. I'll probably have plenty of time for that. I have a feeling the "for sale" sign in the front yard is going to be there for awhile yet.

Visiting Mom

My mother took a bad fall last September (see the old post). I have been wanting to get down to Arizona to see her but was waiting to be able to go help her once she got home. However, the recovery is taking much longer than anticipated. But I did finally get down for a week to see her and Dad. She is finally getting out of bed for the first time in nearly 9 months. Her 83-year old muscles have atrophied quite a bit. She is working on recovering mobility but it's going to take awhile. This is the dining room at the nursing home. The breakfast being served was: orange juice, coffee/tea/hot chocolate, cream of wheat (Mom drank hers out of the bowl- since her hands shake quite a bit, it's easier than using a spoon), a piece of Texas toast French toast with a spoonful of cherry pie filling on top and syrup on the side, some mandarin oranges, and a sausage patty. Mom drank the juice, a carton of milk, ate the sausage patty (she has a weakness for sausage and bacon), drank the cream of wheat, and ate one little piece of the French toast because she was full. It really is a pretty good portion of food. This nursing home is a pleasant place- considering. The staff is kind and as attentive as they have time to be. It's clean and the rooms are large enough to accomodate visitors.

I couldn't help but feel sad for the residents who will probably finish out their days here. Some of them are old (a smiling man whose wheelchair is always near the door is 99) but some are just the unfortunate victims of illness or accident that leaves them needing lots of help. As always, I got philosophical and wondered how I would react if I ended up living in such a place. I try to eat right, get exercise, avoid bad health habits, wear a seat belt, and just live sensibly. However, there is always a chance I could end up with a serious disability. So how can I prepare? The patients who are smiling and pleasant are certainly easier for the staff to care for than the ones who bark, demand, and complain. So I can focus on being a nice, grateful type of person. The staff is really busy so sometimes the residents look out for each other by making sure the forgetful ones don't get lost and seeing to it that the quiet ones get help when they need it. So I can develop the habit of paying attention to the needs of others. I wish no one ever had to be helpless but it happens. I pray that I will have the inner strength to deal with it if it ever happens to me so I won't further burden people by being annoying or depressing.

Brooklyn and happy Father's Day

Recently we had the fun of having little Brooklyn here with us for a few days while her brothers went camping with their mom. She slept well, ate well, and was just all-round wonderful (I think she enjoyed the specific attention). At one point Russ was out in the driveway working on the small limousine and she, being always curious, wanted to see what he was doing. Here she is getting a look. Cute, huh? And I wanted to post a photo of Russ "opening" his Father's Day gift from the kids- a new barbecue grill. He was quite pleased. It's something we have wanted for awhile. The one we moved here from Utah (after having used it there several years) was in pretty bad shape. So, a big thank you to all who participated in this very welcomed gift!

Learning can be hard

Another troubling local incident- this time REALLY close to home: the neighbors on one side of us have been gone for about a week on a family trip. We weren't asked to watch the house but can't help seeing it because it's pretty close. They had a relative checking on it who said that two days before they returned everything looked fine. The day they returned, they stopped over to ask if we had noticed any suspicious activity recently to which we replied that we hadn't. Their house had been broken into and all of the things of any value stolen (tv's, computers, jewelry, oddly almost the complete wardrobe of one of the teenage sons). They are on a lease-to-own option for the house and do not have renters' insurance. Their only hope is that the police will be able to quickly find the thieves and recover their property. The sad part is that they are suspicious that it is someone they know, some young men who are not stealing out of starvation, need for shelter or any necessity of life. The parents (fairly well-educated and pleasant people) have been trying to warn their teenage sons about their choice of friends. I remember all to well the resentment teenagers can have toward parents who try to advise them on who they should have as friends. In their very natural maneuvering to establish their independent identities, teenagers rebel against much of what their parents say at some point. Not all parents are wise or truly have the best interest of their children always in mind. However, most parents really do love their children and try hard to assist them to avoid some of the pitfalls of life. It is really rare that parents simply "don't like" other kids their offspring might choose as friends. It isn't a prejudice based on hairstyle or political opinion or income level or any such shallow issue. I remember one of my biggest concerns as a parent was how my children's friends might influence the relationship between me and my child. It really hurt when the child I sacrificed for and anguished over chose to trust a person much less mature and less well-known than I. Parents truly are "older and wiser" and have known more people and had more experience in recognizing characteristics that can lead to trouble and heartache. We feel so bad for these neighbors whose house and life have been violated. We feel bad for their economic loss which will be difficult to recover, if they ever do. Mostly, we hope the kids open their eyes to realize who is truly on their side and who is just looking to selfishly benefit. Friends are an important and enriching element of life. But, in the long run, it's family that usually stick by through everything no matter what the cost.

People and choices

Another local newspaper item got me thinking. A group of 5 young men between the ages of 18 and 21 were about to go to jail for numerous mailbox bashing sprees. They drove through a fairly upscale area south of Dayton (yes, there are nearby areas that are NOT depressing ghettos) hanging out a car window with a baseball bat, destroying mailboxes. When asked why, they told the police that it was "something to do", they "did it for fun". I immediately pictured young men of the same age with white shirts, ties, and name tags reading "Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints". Their activities include studying scriptures, knocking on doors to introduce people to the church, rendering many hours of service to others, and teaching people about the gospel of Jesus Christ. I realize that not every 19-year old male who chooses not to serve as a missionary will end up bashing mailboxes, but it does cause thought as to what they will do with their leisure time. Depending on their life circumstances, they may have little free time because they're working and going to school, or lots of free time because they have parents willing to support them while they do whatever they want "for fun". It can also make you wonder where those men will be 10 or 20 years from now and what they will be doing. Early in life it only takes one small step to totally change paths. I'm glad I have chosen a path that will result in my spending eternity with people who prefer to use their "free time" to benefit others. It will be heavenly!!

AH Family!

Scott's parents, Ruth and Sam Orme, came to Ohio to see their son before he is deployed and also to be here for the grandsons' baptismal service. Most of the people in this photo are family, if not by blood or legal contract, then by heart. There was a happy, pleasant feeling in the room.

Brooklyn was pretty well-behaved for a toddler. She sat with the children on the floor in front of the baptismal font to watch her cousins enter the water and at the appropriate moment shouted gustily " "men!" (Amen) Later, during one of the confirmations, she was equally vocal in announcing to everyone "Pare!" (prayer) There was no condemnation of her very normal childish behavior. In fact, she was very much adored, as are all of our grandchildren by everyone in our family. The love goes both ways! Most of the children are very comfortable with aunts, uncles, and grandparents as they are with their parents. I just can't say enough in expressing my gratitude for the loving, sharing family I am blessed to be a part of. We have lots of intelligence and talents, too. There is never a lack of a pianist or chorister for these family events. Victoria did a great job taking a turn playing the piano for this baptism. I know we are an eternal unit. We could probably even have our own sacrament meeting! We don't currently have the authority to do that in the Lord's order of things but I can see it as a very real possibility some day.