Traditions

     In Fiddler on the Roof, there is a song about "Tradition" referring to questions about why the village does things the way they do. The most well-known tradition in our family is having popcorn and ice cream for Sunday night supper. I asked my father's mother long ago where the tradition started. Not surprisingly, as in most "traditions", she didn't know. So in  our family, the McKinney/Bowker/Fellows family, we have been having popcorn and ice cream for Sunday night supper for at least 6 generations. It was just a generation or two before that the family ancestors were in Ireland. Today, each group of the family has embraced some traditions of their own. One that our eldest son and daughter-in-law began more than a decade ago is building elaborate gingerbread sculptures each year. The point isn't to have a professionally perfect result, although they are always beautiful. It's a delightful experience that every member of the family can participate in. Russ and I have been privileged to help with three sculptures so far. The first one was in 2006, built in Vilnius, Lithuania. It was a Christmas train so we each got to decorate a car.

The next one we helped with was in Berlin, Germany, in 2009. I don't remember what the building was modeled after. This is our grandson, Jarom.

This year we participated in decorating the Mausoleum at Halicarnassus, one of the original Seven Wonders of the World. The idea came from the young man in the above photo, currently a BYU student. He also worked out the dimensions for this gingerbread reproduction.

As Russ pointed out, family traditions are nice because they can set us apart from everybody around us. Sometimes that can be a negative thing but sometimes it's just nice. Most families aren't usually trying to be better than anyone else when holding to family traditions. I'm sure that there are times when a tradition becomes a device to generate feelings of superiority which encourages prejudice against other people. In our case, these we lovingly invite others to participate so the family tradition becomes a means of opening our hearts and lives to those around us. 

A further clarification

     If you haven't read the post I did yesterday, read that before reading this one. This is a continuation of "looking for the positives". We are not mortals who have an occasional spiritual experience. We are Spirits having a mortal experience. Because our "natural man" passions are often intense, the quiet whisperings of the Spirit are often obscured. But we know from the scriptures that, "the natural man is an enemy to God". That is because we are more prone to follow Satan's directions when acting as a natural man than God's. It's so easy to lose sight of what is really REAL. The things of this lovely Earth that our Father created for us are temporary. The monuments we build here will disintegrate. The lines we draw for labeling countries, the labels for politics, the symbols we develop for idealogies- they are all temporary. The hearts that pump blood through our veins, the lungs that draw breath, the muscles and bones with which we act- they are all temporary. What is real is located more centrally in our brain- the center of WHO we are.
     It's not really the drinking of alcohol or smoking of tobacco or marijuana that separates us from God. It's the chemical alterations forced on our brains that separates us from God. It isn't having sex outside of marriage or viewing porn that separates us from God. It's the chemical alterations that occur due to an imbalance of hormones that we allow or even stimulate that separate us from God. (When we have intimate relations with a spouse to whom we are married, we are showing love- hopefully- and strengthening an important relationship. Any other form of sexual expression is mainly for self-gratification. We only seek to provide pleasure to ourselves or even to someone else so they will like it and want to do it again.) It isn't pointing a gun at or wielding a knife to end the life of another being that separates us from God. It's the hatred or justification of prejudice that causes chemical changes in our brain that separates us from God. (That's why you can train to be a soldier or defend others in the face of an unrighteous attack but still be a man of God. The scriptures are full of such examples. David? He was fine as a great warrior. It was when he gave in to the natural man- the lust for Bathsheba- that he lost his place.)
     Have you ever known of a young child that has ridden a ride until they threw up or ate a treat until they were sick? They thought they were "having fun". We have that same issue, only it's much more serious and can have much more dire circumstances. We think the buzz from drugs or alcohol are "fun". But we expose ourselves to addictions and, even if only temporarily, we lose our ability to judge wisely as well as hear the still, small voice of God. We think giving in to sexual urges are "pleasant". But we risk everything from unwanted pregnancy or disease to conflicting emotions or betraying trust. Again, we are more intent on our gratification of the natural man than with our relationship with our Father in Heaven. The entertainment we expose ourselves to will have an impact on those areas of our brain that "feed" the natural man. We will increase in our desire, even intense enough to become an actual physical or psychological need, for more of the same type of input. Eventually we become immune to the thrill and need greater input to raise us to the same level of satisfaction. No matter how "satisfied" we think we are allowing ourselves to be, it will NEVER be enough. The natural man cravings are never satisfied, only overcome.
     We overcome the natural man by refusing to allow those cravings to alter our brains. We focus on those elements described by Paul in Philippians 4:8, "whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." I repeat for the millionth time- the choice is ours. But we need to always remember that with every thought and deed, we are making a choice to follow one or the other. We can't choose both.

Looking for the positives

     As I reach to focus on the reason for the upcoming world-wide celebration being, in truth, originally the birth of the Savior Jesus Christ, I have purposely avoided knowing too much about what events are occurring in the world and bitter feelings continuing. Even on Facebook, where I mostly see posts by people I know, there are some who cling to hostile feelings about the election we just had. There are sometimes requests to pray for tragedies people are enduring. I love to help anyone whenever I can, including simply praying when that's all I can do. Otherwise, focusing my attention on more and more gory details or reading angry insults or fatalistic prophesies of doom makes it impossible to be happy or even to want to get up each morning. So amid this awareness of so much negativity around me, hovering in the background, we went to the movies today. I know I ended up very upset a couple of years ago and did a post about the cruelty of humans toward other humans precipitated by going to see a movie "based on real events" during WWII. You'd think maybe I need to stop going to the movies! Well, this time the movie was "Rogue One" which is totally fictitious. However, the 10-15 minutes before the movie started was filled with flashes of scenes previewing upcoming films. The volume level was excessive. (Our seat actually vibrated as if we were having earthquakes.) But out of the 7 or 8 upcoming movies, there was not one that I would consider seeing. They were all about anger, war, hate, destruction, fear, and chaos. Even the warped animated movie about babies involved a "baby" who was trying to destroy the affection people feel toward puppies. So you take the one tiny shred of innocence left in the world, babies, and make a conniving, sadistic, manipulative ogre out of one! All I could think of was- THIS is what is being provided as entertainment?? THIS is what our entertainment industry has determined "people want" and are willing to pay for? There is a scripture about the last days, "And all things shall be in commotion; and surely, men's hearts shall fail them; for fear shall come upon all people." (D&C 88:91) The feelings being portrayed as well as those evoked in the spectators fit that prophecy to a tee! Gone are the days of "Lassie" or "Leave it To Beaver" where people care about each other, parents are respected, and love encompasses families and neighbors. Few people could tolerate the boring sappiness of such "entertainment" today. We have truly become jaded in so many ways. While people are in reality living through the hell of war, children are starving to death, and hate rages in the hearts of men, we are wanting more and more violence in order to satisfy our lust for entertainment.
     There may be some who would suggest that I "toughen up" and not be so bothered by all of it. I could choose to be more cynical, more jaded, more ready to accept or tolerate anger, hatred or destruction. But I just can't do that. I look at children and grieve that they are losing their innocence long before I did or most people I knew as a child. We have always had wars but, for the most part, they were tragic events people would have preferred to avoid. But, wait, I remember going to Manassas and hearing about the Civil War and how people tried to take picnic lunches to spend an afternoon being spectators of the battle. Are we just unavoidably beastly?
     Jesus said, "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." The longer I'm in this world, the more anxious I am to leave it. I really enjoyed the peace and love I felt while serving as a missionary in the Nauvoo temple. I enjoy the love I feel most of the time in the homes of my family and friends. I find no thrill in contention. I have no desire for rebellion, not that I would bend to anything that is unjust or immoral. I have a greater and greater desire to listen to uplifting music and avoid loud, banging, angry music. I have a greater and greater desire to see movies with only slightly bad guys and they have a happy ending. I have a greater and greater desire to read words of the Lord, promises of peace and comfort. I know that prior to the return of the Savior, Satan is going to get more and more anxious to wield his influence before his opportunity is gone and he is bound and isolated from us. I am determined to be a light in the darkness of his influence. I pray that I, and others who have this same desire, will have the strength to follow a better example, choose a better way.

A career

     I realize we are becoming a generation of photos and small bits of information but this blogspot isn't big on that. I'm sorry for those who are more comfortable with pictures that say a thousand words and short, clever sayings but you'll have to go to Facebook or Twitter or whatever for that. On the other hand, I hope for those who "tune in", I can share with you some worthwhile things to think about and hope you will, in turn, share your thoughts with me when you feel so moved.
     Today I went, for the second time, to Mount Vernon. My first trip there was several years ago and in the summer. I was once again struck with what a really good man George Washington was. I know, I know, he had slaves so some people would stop right there and think ill of him. It's so important for us to be aware of the historic and geographic/cultural context of people's lives rather than judging others from our current perspective. I'm grateful that slavery is mostly dying out in the world. It still exists in some countries. I think it's important to realize that early America was not the first nor the last place where slavery was practiced. Being a slave owner is not an immediate identifier of  a person as evil. The practice of "owning" another human being is undoubtedly evil. But when it is an economic and/or cultural practice, no matter how barbaric, it should give us pause in judging someone who has been involved. George Washington did not like slavery and demanded in his will that all of the slaves he owned be set free. While he had them, he was one of the more kind masters.
     But that's not what I really want to talk about. When the Constitutional Convention met to figure out how to create a country, there were LOTS of issues to deal with. There were people here from different countries, backgrounds, occupations, political opinions, economic circumstances, and temperaments. The men who gathered to try to figure out how to unify everybody had a huge task to perform. They had to be willing to talk, listen, compromise, and explain their positions. Even though they were there to make sure those who had sent him there were fairly represented, they realized that without a willingness to seriously consider other points of view, there would never be a new nation- no unity at all. One of the points they had to deliberate concerned the structure of the federal government. They put in place a system of checks and balances so that none of the 3 main branches of the government would wield a threatening amount of power. Even with that, there were some who felt that the office of president held too much power. (Remember, these people had seen many unrighteous kings and despots and wanted to totally avoid that.) George Washington, at 57, was unanimously elected, not just once but twice to that position. He had refused to be king when it was offered to him. He had fought to win freedom from a king and wasn't interested in taking that same position. He had put a lot of his life and effort into creating the potential for a world-changing political system with a government for the people, by the people, and of the people. To get to my main point, he was not a career politician! There are so many voices these days about how we need to change the Constitution to avoid problems we are having. We don't need any NEW ideas. What we need to do is return to the OLD ideas where our government is made up of representatives of the people- not career politicians. I can't imagine any of the current politicians being voted in unanimously, even once much less twice. There needs to be men and women of good character and wisdom who seek peace and justice, not the chance to be re-elected. But, I guess the world is a lot more complicated today than it was in the late 1700's. Maybe the average farmer (that was what George Washington considered himself) simply would never have what it takes to be the President of the United States, or even a Senator or Congressman. I must say, I really don't care for the moral character of our current president-elect but..... he has not been a career politician. Could he introduce a new enough perspective to actually accomplish something good? Politicians certainly don't have a corner on the market for corruption. I can only pray that, unless it's time for Christ to come to rule and reign, Donald Trump will somehow be led, coerced, or motivated in some way to make some good choices that will have more to do with healing and strengthening this nation than furthering his political career. For now, I'll just keep doing whatever I can to promote and encourage truth and righteousness- in EVERYBODY and hope we're ready when Christ does come to rule and reign.

Who is Jesus?

     In the face of pressure for "political correctness" I want to express my testimony that the man called Jesus Christ is/was the Only Begotten Son of the Only God. It breaks my heart and must be troubling to Jesus and our Father that the world is continuing to deny the original purpose for the big celebration on Dec. 25. It isn't for the purpose of giving and acquiring gifts. It isn't for the purpose of decorating our homes and streets. It isn't for the making and eating of treats. It isn't for special foods or clothes or concerts or movies. During His mortal sojourn, Jesus asked, "Whom say ye that I am?" (Matt. 16:15) Each human being needs to answer that question for him/herself. It's not a social pressure thing. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or says. Each of us must at some point make a decision  as to whether Jesus is the Christ. At the last day, we are guaranteed that every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that Jesus is the Christ. What we decide between now and then will determine how we feel when we participate in that global confession. Will we shout "hallelujah!" because we have known it all along? Or will we hang our head and wish to hide in shame? Will we feel deep in our heart that we have tried our best to follow His example and share our light? Or will we have deep, agonizing regrets? God has given us the opportunity and responsibility to choose for ourselves who we want to follow, where we want to go, who we want to be. I pray that I can have the strength to stay on the strait and narrow path of discipleship, no matter what, until that last day. I pray that for my loved ones, too, but the decision is for them to make- not me.

Vanity Washing

     Okay, one more for today. As I mentioned, I have not posted in awhile but I have been pondering things. When we lived in Arizona, it was not unusual for people to wash their driveways or patios with a hose. It was simply so dusty there with so little rain, that the only effective way to clear dust and debris was with water. However, since it is a desert, it seemed a bit of a wasteful use of a precious resource- fresh water. There are warnings everywhere about water shortages. We watched a documentary about the use of satellite imaging to measure the depletion of ground water and it was sobering to say the least. Sink holes have suddenly appeared in several places in Florida as there is no longer anything to hold up the upper level of ground. So, as I pondered this, I have decided we tend to do what could be called "vanity washing". Because we don't want to be seen in the same outfit more than one day in a row, we throw it in the wash, even though it isn't really dirty. Because we woke up with scary hair, we take a shower so we can re-do our do. We like our vehicles, for which we spent so much money, to sparkle so we wash the dust off them and make sure we include a wax job. We grab a clean cup every time we get a drink even though we aren't sick and it's only our own germs. We could just re-use the cup, especially if we are only drinking water. We don't like dishpan hands so we let food on plates harden and remnants of liquid in glasses set so they have to be scrubbed clean or run through the dishwasher more than once. Rather than wash a large bowl independently, we fill up the dishwasher with it which means using more and hotter water for fewer dishes. If we're really serious about the concern for wasting a precious resource, we need to give up vanity.

Orchestras

     I have spent considerable time explaining our freedom to choose. It is one of God's greatest gifts to us, along with the atonement of His Son to balance our poor use of the freedom to choose. Nearly from birth, we tend to be a pretty independent creature. I watched a young girl, maybe about 3, during a concert recently. She had several older siblings and her parents nearby. She repeatedly got off and back on her chair, walked around, and a couple of times stomped her feet on her seat delighting in making a noise. She would frown at anyone who even appeared to be trying to control her. At one point she looked back at me with a blatant look of defiance, daring anyone to challenge her. (I didn't interfere because it was disruptive enough for her parents and siblings to try to tame her.)
     Listening to a choir and orchestra playing, it was an excellent metaphorical recommendation for obedience. What if an oboe player decided to play faster than the conductor was leading? What if a violinist or soprano felt like singing a section forte that should be pianissimo? What if anyone decided they wanted to play a totally different song? You get the idea. It is no reflection on the ability of the musician to be obedient to the directions of the conductor or follow the composers notes. As a matter of fact, the better the musician is personally, the better the performance as a whole.
     As we make our individual choices, we need to remain mindful of what part we play in the whole. We are citizens of the world and can either focus on making a beautiful, harmonic community- or in a rebellious, self-centered attempt to establish our personal identity, we merely create unpleasant chaos.

Work is not an expletive

I don't know whether anyone has noticed but I haven't posted in awhile. My computer has been in the shop. I'm hoping things will go a little more smoothly now.
     I recently read an interesting quote from Mother Teresa from a letter she wrote after speaking to the UN by invitation: I am glad you were happy that all went well at the UN. I must tell you, I felt like [a] fish out of water in that crowd of businessmen and leaders. I never feel like that with crowds much greater, but closer, of our kind: the lepers, the dying, the unwanted, the helpless, the unloved, the lonely.
     Thank you for inviting me, for I have a better understanding of the rich, who day after day have to accept the role of entertaining and being entertained. Their gatherings need the presence of Jesus very much.
     I wondered, do I recognize myself as one of the rich? Do you consider yourself rich? I can readily see our plight as entertaining and being entertained, hence the gargantuan size of the music, movie, tv, and sports industry. We are easily bored even with our home media centers, stereos, MP3 players, handheld devices, computers, phones that aren't even phones but another computer, and on and on. We constantly lust after more entertainment. Facebook thrives on our egotistical desire for validation by customizing feeds that include only things we "like". The United States has more dogs and cats as pets than any other country. We have replaced children with animals that we dress up, take constant photos of, and coddle as "members of the family", whether they like it or not! I think much of the world could never afford what we spend on special food, toys, bedding, and vet bills for these poor defenseless animals we spoil.
     The average American eats 3,770 calories a day, the most of any country in the world. That doesn't even shed a light on what is spent on diabetes, heart problems, and all the associated health issues of the obese. Often, to avoid eating so much, people will spend outrageous amounts of money to eat out only to end up throwing much of it away rather than eat all that they ordered. Heaven forbid you should eat leftovers at another time! In an effort to combat this plague, we spend billions of dollars on gyms, health clubs, personal trainers, not to mention gadgets to put on our wrists to reassure us that we are actually moving our bodies, and chic wardrobes of exercise clothes to make it at least look like we're trying to be athletic. Yet, a lot of the people who spend money on all those things don't mow their own lawns, have never moved their own furniture and goods from home to home, and don't do much gardening. They certainly don't do the endless labor that people on farms do or that some people do that heat with wood or have large gardens and orchards. It's okay to sweat if you're in the proper spandex clothes and in a work-out center but heaven forbid you should get dirty and sweaty! I remember a time when one of my children bragged endlessly about how much he could lift at the gym yet he couldn't pull up a dead cornstalk. I had to do it, even though I never lifted weights in the gym. I respect those who can use their muscles to accomplish something worthwhile rather than just than vanity.
     A wise man, Spencer W. Kimball, once said, "Being human, we would expel from our lives physical pain and mental anguish and assure ourselves of continual ease and comfort, but if we were to close the doors upon sorrow and distress, we might be excluding our greatest friends and benefactors. Suffering can make saints of people as they learn patience, long-suffering, and self-mastery." I think he would have to amend that today to discount  the pain and anguish people are willing to put themselves through for the bragging rights of running times, weight-lifting, or steps taken yet avoid any real work because that's unpleasant. There are countless opportunities to help people after floods, tornadoes, fires, and other disasters. We might look up from our phones and see someone who needs help changing their tire or raking their leaves. Getting dirty really isn't so bad. We all wash and wear just fine.

Diversity

     Living here in a heavily populated area with great diversity, I have been reflecting on civilization. To add to my reflection, Russ and I are watching a "Great Course" on world history, a series of recorded college lectures. I think I can justly say that diversity is essential to the development and progression of civilization. To name just a few elements of diversity:
Gender: without the egg from a female combined with the sperm of a male, there would be an end to reproduction, therefore an end to civilization.
Talents: no matter how willing we may be to try or how hard we work at learning, each one of us will run into skills or jobs we simply do not have the faculties to do very well, if at all. It's helpful to learn at least the basics of as many arts or skills as possible. It puts each of us in a better position to be able to truly value a job completed by someone else if we have an idea what went into accomplishing that job. Also, there are so many different things to be accomplished within any community, it's helpful when the work is divided and everyone does what they are most capable of or interested in doing.
Interests: We would probably still be walking or driving horse-pulled buggies if it had been up to me to invent automobiles. I appreciate them and recognize their value, but I would never have had the interest enough to putter around inventing or improving motors, cars, or so many other devices. I may be capable of learning what I might need to know to work on engines, but since I have no interest in it, it would have been a genuine struggle for me to accomplish much. It's wonderful, and essential to moving forward, that each of us has different interests that we are attracted to and on which to work.
Physical/mental abilities: Now this is one that some would question why having diversity in abilities would assist in the advancement of society. Suppose Hitler's idea had been promoted and only those humans who had the best intelligence or capacity to perform were allowed to survive. First of all, we would all be able to do whatever needed to be done and would rarely make connections with other humans to help with a task. A nation of hermits would not really be an advanced civilization. Secondly, I consider compassion to be essential to a truly advanced civilization. Without it, the citizens are too self-centered to work together for a common goal. If there are no people who struggle physically or mentally, we just figure everyone can do things on their own and we don't even look for ways to help. We avoid compassion altogether.
Personalities: This might also appear at first glance as a characteristic that has nothing to do with the advancement of civilization. However, there is much to be said about having some who are more curious and adventurous, some who are more cheerful and encouraging, some who are studious and careful, some who are quiet and comforting,..... It's really beneficial for us to sometimes get shaken up a bit by the opportunity to see things from a perspective different than our own. When we see things differently than our usual perspective, it usually opens up lots of new ideas, hence the advancement of society.
     I could go on, but I have made my point. Having made the point that diversity is essential to the progression of civilization, I want to add that diversity without limits can destroy society. Every aspect of humans has the potential to destroy if not carefully considered. A simple example: imagine a world full of people all living with the abilities or personalities of toddlers. Different personalities can be beneficial to society but if those personalities are to the extreme in aspects such as anger, revenge, refusal to learn, slothfulness, or envy, society would be unpleasant at the very least. Some abilities, when focused on too strongly, can become destructive. I think we are approaching the limit to human endurance in some extreme, professional, or even Olympic sports. Using artificial means to overcome physical limitations or forcing young children to make Herculean efforts on a regular basis, just to be really good at a sport skill in order to win or make a lot of money is bound to wreak havoc. Every generation thinks they can come up with a new style, a new way of doing things, a new idea which will change the world. Not all of those new ideas are helpful. Sometimes the old, tried and true ways really are the best. If we change things simply to change things, it's not always an improvement and we risk losing ground rather than advancing. I fear eliminating any boundaries to gender identity will cause more harm than good for society. I recognize that there have always been people who felt themselves "different" from the norm. However, when there is no norm, that removes any foundation for ALL humans, not just ones who may feel different. Each human has plenty of struggles with self-identity. If there are no guidelines to recognize, there is no common guardrail to know we're even on the road at all, much less the right road.
     I don't want to degenerate into current political contention. I only wanted to share thoughts.

Destruction or construction

     I have been pondering the flak over this past Presidential election and what the angry division stems from. I realize that labels like Democrat or Republican or liberal or conservative places people in easily recognizable boxes but they don't really explain anything. They also tend to end the discussions at name calling and accusations. As I picture the US map with the red and blue labels depicting which states and counties lean which way and ponder the arguments over the electoral college, I realize something. The areas colored blue are mostly urban and red mostly more rural. There is lots of mudslinging that relates to "ignorant country folk" and "stuck-up city slickers" that has gone on for centuries. I must point out, not everybody in the cities is educated and not everybody in the country is ignorant! If we can't get past these labels, we will never understand each other or live in harmony. People who choose to live in more sparsely populated areas have their reasons for doing so, as do those who live in more crowded cities. Although those in cities may claim to have a more "advanced" civilization due to the ready access of educational institutions, art offerings, and diversity, those who live in the country have access to the wonder of nature, the education of how things work, and the peace of having neighbors who generally share the results of weather and agriculture prices. People who live in rural areas are accustomed to mostly taking care of themselves and their families with a willingness to help neighbors when needed. People who live in cities are more prone to think of the infrastructure of their environment as provided by government. They may be willing to occasionally help a neighbor but often need to be more cautious because of the likelihood of scams or criminals.
     I could go on and on about the differences but I want to avoid any potential misunderstandings if someone thinks I am judging one or the other. What I want to emphasize is that there are two different ways to look at government in general. I think the founders who struggled for days on end to come to harmony enough to form a country realized these differences but managed to figure out a way to compromise enough to make it work- for over 200 years so far. There are more people in number who live in cities but more of the country is devoted to people who choose to live more spread out. Those who live in cities are more comfortable with having the government dictate rules because they see it's for the common good. Those who live in the country mainly focus on getting the job done and only looking for assistance or guidance when needed.
     The whole time I lived in New York State, there were rumblings about NYC separating themselves from the rest of the state. Those in the city considered the rest of the state uncooperative and ignorant. Those in the rest of the state thought of the city as a very heavy burden with too many people looking for support from the rest of the state. The issue today in the country is an enlarged version of the same controversy. People in the country are opposed to the government controlling their lives. People in the cities feel there need to be more regulations to prevent actions that are inconsiderate or even destructive. People in the country don't want to pay more to the government to run inefficient programs. People in the city want more money from tax payers to cover the cost of programs for the "common good".
     When there is a war, we tend to circle the wagons so to speak. We come together in the face of a common threat. Right now the war is within the circle. We have become enemies within the country. There are far too many people who are connected only through electronic devices when they rarely speak to their physical neighbors. Too many people spend so much time in their cars they don't have time to get to know people right around them. We have so many activities available to us that we are too busy to be involved in the "common good"- whatever government entity we should be a part of. We don't give opinions and guidance from the beginning but we're quick to squeal when the outcome of the decisions of others is not what we would have chosen.
     So, what do we do? I am not nearly as God-like as I hope to be in the eternities so I don't really have answers. Maybe we should, first, recognize where the controversy comes from. We need to consider differences with respect rather than name-calling. Second, also involving respect, we need to recognize that even if someone has a different idea of how to go about building our country than we do, they are not out to destroy the country. Their idea of how to fix it is just different from our own. We can all say, "But if we do...... this will happen", when we can't ever be really sure. It's like decisions in our own families when there are some who think the outcome will be disastrous and some who think it will work fine. Third, once a decision has been made (the results of an election clear), we need to resist grumbling and looking for fault focusing instead on figuring out what we can do as an individual part of the governed body. We need to do our part to build rather than tear down. We're not dead yet and neither is the country so lets get on with it!

Why do you exist?

     I am totally amazed that very shortly after composing my last blog, I came to this in the book that I am reading:
In 1908, a Harvard philosopher names Josiah Royce wrote a book with the title The Philosophy of Loyalty. Royce was.....concerned with a puzzle that is fundamental to anyone contemplating his or her mortality. Royce wanted to understand why simply existing- why being merely housed and fed and safe and alive- seems empty and meaningless to us. What more is it that we need in order to feel that life is worthwhile?
     The answer, he believed, is that we all seek a cause beyond ourselves. This was, to him, an intrinsic human need. The cause could be large (family, country, principle) or small (a building project, the care of a pet). The important thing was that, in ascribing value to the cause and seeing it as worth making sacrifices for, we give our lives meaning.
     Royce called this dedication to a cause beyond oneself loyalty. He regarded it as the opposite of individualism. The individualist puts self-interest first, seeing his own pain, pleasure, and existence as his greatest concern. For an individualist, loyalty to causes that have nothing to do with self-interest is strange. When such loyalty encourages self-sacrifice, it can even be alarming- a mistaken and irrational tendency that leaves people open to the exploitation of tyrants. Nothing could matter more than self-interest, and because when you die you are gone, self-sacrifice makes no sense.
     Royce had no sympathy for the individualist view. "The selfish we had always with us," he wrote. "But the divine right to selfishness was never more ingeniously defended." In fact, he argues, human beings need loyalty. It does not necessarily produce happiness, and can even be painful, but we all require devotion to something more than ourselves for our lives to be endurable. Without it, we have only our desires to guide us. and they are fleeting, capricious, and insatiable. They provide, ultimately, only torment.....
     The only way death is not meaningless is to see yourself as part of something greater: a family, a community, a society. If you don't, mortality is only a horror.
     This book is Being Mortal written by a doctor, Atul Gawande. The subtitle is "Illness, Medicine, and What Matters in the End". A friend recommended it to me and I would wholeheartedly recommend it to others. It's mostly about considering the end of your life, whenever and however that may occur. But in the process, it also opens up the question of how to spend whatever part of life you are in right now. We have all heard quotes about living life to the fullest living as if you only had 5 minutes/ 5 months/ or whatever short time remaining. The bottom line is, why are you living at all? What is your purpose? Will it matter when you die? To whom will and matter and why?
     There are people who light up a room when they enter and there are people who light up a room by leaving. I hope I cause even just a little joy by my presence and I certainly hope I am never a cause for celebration when I leave. 

Mentality

     I understand that all human beings are different. We come to decisions and develop habits dependent on our individual personality, what we are directly taught at home or in school or church, and what we observe in our surroundings. As the saying goes, "No man is an island" and any decision or habit will have an impact on someone else or even many others. As humans we are inherently members of a community whether we like it or not. The community can be segregated as to household (those with whom we intimately live every day), neighborhood, larger community, nation, and world. We can imagine ourselves in a bubble where we have only ourselves to account to when acting but it's never so. There is a remote possibility that if we were an only child of parents who both died and we have chosen to live as hermit-like a life as we can manage, we may have minimal impact on anyone else. If you are reading this, you obviously don't fit in that category! Like it or not, the fact that we exist comes with a responsibility to consider other humans. I have always found the "golden rule" to be very logical- treat other people the way you would want to be treated. I choose to try to live that way and can only hope others will choose the same.
     But sometimes they don't. I don't want to belabor the point of cruelty, prejudice, abuse, etc. Those choices are obviously anti-social and destructive. I want to bring up a mentality that I have complained about several times in my life. It could be called a welfare mentality or a renters mentality both are basically the same. It involves a decision that, because you find some form of contribution to your community distasteful, you refuse to perform. Renters often care little about the condition of their living space and surrounds because it doesn't "belong" to them. If something needs repair or maintenance, they automatically expect the property owner to take care of it. Indeed, often the property owner would prefer knowing about it and seeing that it's done the way they want it done. However, sometimes the property owner is not local or not physically or financially capable of mowing the lawn, washing windows, shoveling sidewalks, etc. Since we are all different, I suppose there are people who really don't care if the lawn is shoulder high and filled with blown-in trash, or the windows are grimy enough you can barely see through them. But no man is an island. Should it matter if neighbors or people who share the dwelling don't like the appearance of unkempt property?
     Taking it a step further, when there are obvious labors that need to be performed and any one person refuses to participate, the total load becomes larger for everyone who contributes because of the lack of one who doesn't. There are obvious exceptions to the contribution distribution. Very young humans are either incapable or very limited in what they can do to contribute. People with severe limitations, mental and/or physical,  are also very limited in contributing, and that might include the elderly (a different age dependent on the person's genetics). Sometimes people would like to work but cannot find a job as they continue to search and apply. People who have a "welfare mentality" are those who are capable of contributing (to at least some degree) but manage to justify to themselves that their share of the work should be shouldered by others. They may claim they don't care- "What do I care if the lawn is mowed?" or "I actually prefer a messy house." They may claim inability- "I can't work because I'm weak or have asthma or don't do it as well as others....." If they're truly honest, they would simply admit they prefer being indolent. They prefer using their time for more selfish pursuits. Yet they enjoy the results of the labor of others in their community- they walk across the mowed lawn, they buy food with money they did not earn, they more easily find anything they're looking for because someone else put it where it belongs.
     I just don't understand it really. I can analyze it but could never bring myself to act in that way. I try to imagine if I had been raised by other parents or in another culture, could I really just sit by resting or entertaining myself, spending money I didn't earn, letting someone else work without my assistance?? It is simply a foreign concept to me. I don't think I could have been a slave owner. I really don't think I could ever consider my own comfort and wants to be superior enough to those of someone I might allow to work harder than I do on my behalf. We don't all do the same work and actually can't do the same work due to differences in strength and knowledge. But EVERYONE can contribute to the best of their ability and be willing to accept their share of the work load. Everyone is much happier when they feel valued enough by those around them that everyone else is taking at least a similar part of the load.

Don't you want to be better?

     This is a quote I found as I sorted out papers. Unfortunately I don't have much information about it other than it's from Wendell Berry Recollected Essays:
To the virtuous man,... practical and spiritual values are identical; it is only corruption that can see a difference. Morality is a long-term practicality. We have obscured and weakened morality first, by advocating it for its own sake-- that is, by deifying it... and then, as our capacity for reverence has diminished, by allowing it to become merely decorative, a matter of etiquette. What we have forgotten is the origin of morality in fact and circumstance; we have forgotten that the nature of morality is essentially practical. Moderation and restraint, for example, are necessary, not because of any religious commandment or creed or code, but because they are among the assurances of good health and a sufficiency of goods. Likewise, discipline is necessary if the necessary work is to be done... Loyalty, devotion, faith, self-denial, are not ethereal virtues, but the concrete terms upon which the possibility of love is kept alive in this world. Morality is neither ethereal nor arbitrary, it is the definition of what is humanly possible. .. A live and adequate morality is an accurate perception of the order of things, and of humanity's place in it. By clarifying the human limits, morality tells us what we risk when we forsake the human to behave like false gods or like animals.
     This points out, for those who may scoff at religion and its confining rules, that having such limits is for a greater reason than simply obeying a higher authority to avoid punishment. I can add to this logic and truth, that there is a higher power and He can not only give us guidance for a superior way of living, He can also allow us to be forgiven so that all of our mistakes as we bumble along in mortality can be erased- "All thy sins, though they be scarlet, will be white as snow." There truly is a better way than war, abuse, unlimited sexual perversion, greed, pride, covetousness, laziness and all of those things that God calls the natural man who is His enemy.

In case you might want to know.....

     I spent my whole day today sorting papers. It's a tedious task even though I sincerely try to be careful not to save too much. I found a printed off email from 2003, just after Thanksgiving, and wanted to share a portion of its contents, especially considering the upcoming election.
     New York Sen. Hillary Clinton forced U. S. troops stationed at Bagram air base in Afghanistan to wait for their Thanksgiving dinner last Thursday, while she and her entourage arrived late, then cut in line and were served first. A soldier who witnessed the scene tells NewsMax: "Thanksgiving dinner started at 3 p.m. that day, so the line was forming around 2:30 p.m. She didn't show up until around 3:30 p.m. Once she got there," our source maintains, "Clinton and her entourage bumped everyone in line, forcing them to wait almost an extra hour." The brass at Bagram apparently had a hard time rounding up New Yorkers who wanted to have dinner with Mrs. Clinton. Only six G.I.'s responded to an email sent out last week that stated, "Looking for military members from New York and Rhode Island interested in meeting their Senator/Congressman." People Magazine was on hand to cover the event and wanted to interview the troops for the reaction to Mrs. Clinton's visit. "But they were getting declined left and right," our source said. "People were actually telling the reporters 'You don't want to print what I think about her and her visit.'" After Clinton and her entourage departed, the only topics G.I.'s wanted to talk about were "how great the food was and how fantastic they thought George Bush's visit to Iraq was."    Comment: This is the difference between a leader and an ambitious, self-serving political hack. The hack demands the first place in line, while the leader serves the line and eats later.
     Don't get me wrong. I have no intention of supporting Donald Trump either. I really can't believe people are arguing over which is the "lesser of the two evils"! Neither major candidate is a person of moral integrity and I cannot in good conscience select either one. I realize that my vote is only one and I realize that there is a danger of having the "worse" one elected- whichever someone may identify as such. I cannot respect either one. There are spotty "platform issues" I can agree for each major party but I cannot support either candidate enough to cast a vote for him or her. I am grateful for the right to vote and will do so but will not support the purchased corruption of either major party candidate.

Ownership

     Psalms 24:1 and 1 Corinthians 10:26 "The earth is the Lord's and the fulness thereof". God created the earth and everything on it, through His Son. So nothing on this planet truly "belongs" to anyone here. But each of us, His children, has been given our own right to make choices, also called agency. As a result of that we often end up claiming ownership of things that aren't really ours at all: land, plants, animals, even other people. These days, slavery is not as widely practiced as it has been. We tend to be pretty critical of any effort humans make to "own" other humans. Human trafficking is a crime in all civilized societies. However, there are still incidents of spouses acting like they "own" their mates- everything from outright domineering and physical abuse to "trophy wives" or the self-serving attitude of demanding a wealthy, good-looking partner to show off to the world. Child labor, and I'm not referring to having the kids do chores to help around the house, is abolished as well in civilized societies. But once again, there are parents whose primary attitude toward their children is more like an owner. They get angry when their young athlete doesn't play as well as they want to be able to brag about. They're upset when their child chooses something different than they had planned for them. I'm not referring to being a drug-user as opposed to a healthy lifestyle or choosing living on welfare as opposed to a legitimate job to support themselves.
     Having standards for children is not the same as trying to select their life path for them. When my first children were small, I was sincerely concerned about what I was going to teach them. It was essential to me that I never mislead them. In order to teach them truth, I needed to learn it for myself. I read books and sought advice from medical and health professionals about living healthy so I could give them good counsel about eating, exercising, and sleeping. I tried to learn facts from old wives' tales about the world in general so I could tell them scientific truths to the best of my knowledge. I did my best to learn a little about our country and government so I could try to prepare them to be good citizens. I have sought the best moral standards to promote happiness and a healthy society so I could teach my posterity. I have also tried to learn about God, whether He exists and His nature. I know that's a confusing topic in the world so I needed to find what I could for myself, not relying on any single individual or book. I continue to share with my posterity what I have learned but I recognize and respect their right to choose for themselves whether or not I agree. They are "my" children and grandchildren but I do not own them.
     Before leaving the topic, I have some confusion about ownership of animals. I believe God expected His children to care for animals. Animals were created before man and are capable of survival without man's intervention. However, they are no longer capable of survival due to some of the interference of man: poaching for tusks, fur, and other body parts; pollution and destruction of habitats, etc. I think it's good to have zoos for educational purposes and they have done well promoting protection of endangered species. Having pets is a bit of a gray area. I don't think having pets should be outlawed but I'm glad there are laws that create consequences for people who abuse animals. I know pets can be satisfying companions for humans. However, I cringe when I see people try to change the nature of animals by dressing them in human-style clothes to show them off- not the booties to protect their feet or the sweaters to keep them warm. I cringe when I see people stuff their pets with unhealthy treats to encourage the pet to adore them or show off some cute trick. I cringe when I see horses painfully hobbled simply for the purpose of getting them to prance in an unnatural way. Circuses are dying out. I guess a lot of animal trainers treat animals well enough. I just don't know if the animals are intelligent enough to resent humans taking advantage of them- caging them, getting them to do things simply to impress other humans. Is it appropriate to "own" animals? How do you distinguish taking care of them, training them to not be destructive according to human standards, and misusing them? I guess I still have a lot of wisdom to gain because I don't know.

Loving someone is not the same as valuing them.

     Most people feel loved- by someone. Married people usually admit their spouse loves them. Parents generally feel that their children love them. Children are loved by parents. Friends love friends, etc. As wonderful as love is, sometimes it isn't really "validating". For instance, a mother can know their child loves them but not feel valued by them. Mothers generally hear more complaints than anything else from children: why didn't you get the laundry done? Do we have to have this for dinner? You only want me to clean the bathroom so you don't have to do it! Likewise, spouses can often feel more tolerated than valued: my husband is such a slob but I love him anyway. My wife nags me all the time; it's a good thing I love her so much. Anyway- you  get the idea. We are all different so what one person thinks is important or good, another may not value at all.
     I am really grateful for the opportunity I had to serve for 18 months in the temple with so many really good people. I not only felt loved, I felt truly valued. Good people make a genuine effort to let other people know what they appreciate about them without any expectation of something in return. They don't compliment others hoping to get complimented back. They don't do something nice for someone else to earn favors. I was so uplifted by so many people telling me what good qualities they observed in me with no hidden agendas or expectations. It felt so good to have others recognize my efforts to be kind, loving, helpful, and willing to listen. It felt really validating to have others recognize and value my efforts to be orderly and do a job well. I have had such experiences with some in my family on occasion which I am grateful for as well. I have had a sister express her admiration at my "strength" in the face of adversity. I have had a daughter demand my supervision loading and unloading household belongings knowing that I would organize it well. I have had a daughter express to others that she felt she was raised about as well as anyone could be raised by a wonderful mother. I have had a son compliment, with even a touch of awe in his voice, my creative efforts in speaking and writing songs.
     I think when we take the time and make the effort to recognize the accomplishments and good qualities of someone we love, then be sure to express that awareness, it goes a long way in making them feel good about themselves. It's essential to express that we love others but it sure is nice to not just tolerate their "idiosynchroses" but notice and express what we admire about them.

It's ALL relative

          Anyone who has raised teenagers has experienced embarrassment. Teenagers tend to be very blunt and more outspoken even than younger children. Sometimes they challenge their parents "outdated" principles publicly. They can be concerned enough about the impression of someone as closely associated as parents that they don't want to acknowledge who they are. There can be similar issues with siblings. When remaining long-term in one town, teachers and administrators can either look forward to a student coming up a grade or dread it, depending on their experience with an older sibling.
         Years ago, I was at a church meeting where we had a female police officer as a guest speaker. Our primary interest was advice on how to keep kids away from gangs and drugs. Her primary counsel has stayed with me over the 20 years or so since then. She said that the one thing we could do to best insure our kids would not be involved in gangs was to eat dinner together as a family. She said that kids ended up in gangs due to a desire to "belong". If they didn't have a strong sense of belonging to a family, they were more likely to be prey to joining gangs.
         It can be totally unfair when someone has to "live up to" a high standard set by a parent, older sibling, or other family member. On the other hand, it is also unfair when someone has to "prove" themselves to be different than a relative who has had a bad reputation. No matter how unfair we think it is, it's the way it is. If we have had strong feelings, good or bad, toward someone and later encounter someone related to them that we have had little or no prior contact with, we will use our experience as a basis for what to anticipate.
         I guess where I'm going is to reinforce the song/poem line; "No man is an island." We all want to be unique, some more than others. But we do not stand alone. Friendships may be sought or avoided based on an impression given by a close relative. How we behave has a greater affect beyond ourselves. Thinking it is unfair doesn't change that fact. If someone is considered obnoxious, their spouse will be looked upon with apprehension. If someone is known to be kind and honest, their other family members will likely be more easily welcomed than a total stranger.
         I love the reaction I get from people who may not know me well when they have known my parents. I also love the reaction I get when meeting people who know my children. I don't have to work so hard to make friends because people already expect good things of me. I certainly hope that works the same way from the other direction. I'm sure there were times in my youth when my parents may have cringed when someone discovered I was their daughter, but I hope that was rare and would never be the case if they were alive today. And I don't think this is a negative thing. We all need help occasionally in trying to be the kind of person who contributes well to society. Being aware that we are setting a standard or precedent can give us a little boost in the right direction. I guess this is especially on my mind because for the past 18 months I have been wearing a label- a tag announcing my name and my identity as a representative for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. In only a couple weeks, I will remove that name tag when my mission is over. Wearing it has made me more conscious than ever of my behavior. I like to think that I am determined enough to continue exhibiting good behavior sufficient that when anyone anywhere learns my name or my religious affiliation, there gut reaction will be positive. I want to be an example to encourage others to be good people as I strive to be like my Savior.

He's real............

     I looked back through a few old posts and couldn't find this specific topic that has been on my mind today so I will press forward attempting to share insights and thoughts I have. I am grateful that I am given understanding of some of God's principles, line upon line, one baby step at a time. I am also grateful that I can attempt to share what I learn. I know one of my posterity reads my efforts. That comforts me. I am willing to offer but I will not work at promoting myself in any way. In fact, recently Russ and I have presented a couple of firesides and Russ sang a song I wrote at a missionary meeting after which several people requested either just the words or a copy of the whole song. I was happily surprised at the enthusiastic response. The problem I have now is that I didn't keep a list of people to whom I promised a copy. I'm just going to hope that if they're really sincere, they'll attempt to remind me before we leave in 5 days.
     It has been my observation, confirmed by others who have had some experience, that Satan exists and is eager to wield his power on his brothers and sisters. Before Earth was created, God wanted His children to have the opportunity to experience having a mortal body then be resurrected with a perfected body to dwell with Him forever. But He didn't want to force us. One of His sons, Lucifer, rebelled against our Father's plan and convinced 1/3 of God's children to follow him. Satan/Lucifer and his followers will never have the opportunity to gain a physical body. As a result, they seek to feel excitement, lust, revenge, and all kinds of feelings through those who have mortal bodies. Plus, Satan would like to convince more of us to follow him and rebel against our Father. One of the most disconcerting issues in these latter days prior to the Second Coming is that mortals, in all their wisdom, have not only challenged and warped the existence and personality of God, they have also begun to doubt the existence of Satan. If they don't believe he exists, he has the leverage of finding ways to influence them to listen to their "natural man" rather than the light of Christ (conscience) given to ALL of us. Once people stop giving heed to a standard of right and wrong, anything goes. I fully remember living in the 60's and 70's when the life motto was "If it feels good, do it!" Lest I give the impression that he has great power, I need to emphasize that Satan only has power if we allow it. If we resist greed, anger, lust, covetousness, dishonesty, and other "natural man" instincts (which always cause pain for SOMEONE), Satan can not get advantage over us.
     Latter Day Saints wear special under garments. Critics have mocked them by calling them "magic underwear" implying they are going to protect us from evil. When serving His mortal ministry, Jesus was quite clear that outward things have almost no power. It's what's inside us, our character, our choices, that determine our quality. The garments we wear are a symbol to help us remember our covenants with the Lord. If we keep our covenants, then we will be obedient to God's principles. THAT will be what protects us. Anyone could murder, rape, or steal even while wearing garments if they wanted. Garments do not guarantee someone doesn't get sick, injured, or cheated. However, I can say from personal experience that any time someone is trying to do GOOD, they will face resistance.
     Back in the fall of 1974, Russ and I were taught by LDS missionaries and had agreed to be baptized. The evening before we were scheduled to be baptized, we were driving to an interview with the local bishop (ecclesiastic leader of the local church unit/ward). Both of us had already read at least some of the Book of Mormon, attended church a couple of times, met with the missionaries several times, and prayed for and received a spiritual confirmation that our choice was right. But as we drove along, we were both feeling "uptight". We talked about it, trying to figure out why we were feeling testy toward each other and the kids and everything in general. There was really nothing wrong in our life at the moment. We realized that Satan probably didn't like our decision. As soon as we realized the source of our anxiety, I immediately bowed my head (while Russ kept driving with his eyes open of course) and said a prayer asking Heavenly Father to make the evil one go away. The relief was  swift and undeniable. Over the years, since learning more and more about good and evil, God, Jesus Christ, and Satan, we have been able to recognize Satan's influence more readily. It got to be an expected circumstance that "all hell broke loose" whenever we planned a trip to the temple. Things would go wrong, often requiring unexpected expenditures to make us question whether we could afford the trip to D.C. Mormons have family home evenings on Monday nights and nearly every Monday afternoon, the kids would be fighting or something would threaten our plans to be together for a family home evening. But we were determined! The trips to the temple would work out just fine and our budget survived. By the end of the evening on Mondays, everyone in the family would be happy and getting along just fine.
     I have a powerful witness that God exists. Jesus atoned for the sins of ALL people on the Earth. I also know that Satan is real and he seeks for all mankind to be miserable and disconnected from our Father. Each person, individually, has to make the choice and "endure to the end" but if we ever feel too weak or confused to fight evil, God will help. All we have to do is decide we WANT the help, and ask.

WWJD

     I have explained some of the work I have been doing in the temple. Besides working in the office and performing sacred ordinances, I have spent a considerable amount of time in clothing rental. We basically wear white clothes in the temple and sometimes people need to "rent" (for a very nominal fee- mostly to cover laundry costs) appropriate clothing to perform ordinances. We have all been encouraged to have our own but sometimes people are traveling and don't want to take up luggage space with clothing specifically for the temple. We have slippers and dresses and pants and other items- all white and in all sizes. I have been working there enough now that I am fairly comfortable with how to keep it all very neat and orderly. I feel good about keeping shelves well-stocked and tidy.
     Right now we have a couple serving in the temple who have purchased a house in Nauvoo (before they got their mission call) and for the past several weeks have had a daughter come to live with them. She is in her late 20's but has special needs. She is slow enough that she can't fully support herself or live independently but high functioning enough that she can learn certain tasks. She may not fully understand everything in the temple but that could be said of EVERYBODY who comes to the temple. God's ways are not man's ways, they're higher. Anyway, this young woman has been working as a "volunteer" in the temple, meaning she can do limited tasks. I was blessed to have her working with me in clothing today. As I worked with her, "training" her, I thought about how I usually work quickly and efficiently making sure things are in order. Then I thought about how Jesus would work with her. She is a cheerful, willing, sweet young woman. She truly wants to be making a contribution and you can tell. I realized that the tidiness of the clothing on the shelves was NOT the focal point. The people who come into the temple, including this young woman, are what matters most. I started being more concerned about teaching then allowing her to perform successfully and less about the appearance of "my work".
     Then I realized that this is just a microcosm of the whole existence of the Earth and all that dwell upon it. It isn't about maintaining a pristine Earth. It's about God's children learning the results of their choices, good or bad. It's about our opportunity to choose what we want to be when we "grow up" to be like our Father. Just as we watch our toddlers make messes, God watches us make messes a LOT! Just as we love our children even when they make bad choices, God loves us even when we hurt each other and ourselves. What matters is who we are becoming. God is hoping we won't continue to "make messes" but gain some wisdom and maturity. He wants us to be able to live together, and with HIM, according to laws and principles that allow a pleasant, eternal existence. What would Jesus do? (That's the acronym in the title in case you didn't recognize it.) He would treat each of us the way He would like us to treat Him and each other. We can do that......... if we choose.

Standing on a wall

     I have expressed more than once my consternation over people doing wicked things. I have a hard time reading about or watching films depicting war, prisoner of war camps, slavery, prejudice, abuse or anything like unto it. Recently I was reading in scriptures about a group of people who had recently made the choice to follow Jesus Christ. Living in the same area at the same time was a group of people called "Gadianton Robbers", because they made their living stealing but were also prone to other wicked behavior. They were a real plague to the general populace. They were kind of like the mafia in that you either supported them or they made your life miserable. When I noticed a part I hadn't considered before- "And it came to pass that the Lamanites did hunt the band of robbers of Gadianton; and they did preach the word of God among the more wicked part of them, insomuch that this band of robbers was utterly destroyed from among the Lamanites." (Helaman 6:37) Oh my gosh- they destroyed the wicked band of men among them by converting them! Most of my life I have heard things like "If you want to permanently get rid of an enemy, make him your friend", but here is an example of doing just that. It got me thinking seriously about what I should/could be doing. I have found that I avoid spending time with people who live a very different lifestyle than I do. I am uncomfortable with drugs, drinking alcohol, smoking, swearing, violence, rude behavior,etc. Those who choose those behaviors are generally uncomfortable with me, as well. When I was talking to my daughter, Angela, about this scripture, I mentioned my admiration for what the Lamanites had done and my quandary about how to help in encouraging people to change for the better when I tend to avoid their company. Her response was praiseworthy to say the least. She said, "You just need to love them enough." I really feel that I do love them, but I avoid contention and discomfort. I guess that's inevitable under the circumstances. However, there are people I know well and love very much who choose behavior that makes me uncomfortable. I know the world would be a much better place if everyone followed the example of Jesus Christ's behavior, even if they didn't actually believe that He is the Son of God. During His short mortal life, He was kind, helpful, loving, forgiving, yet he stood firmly for righteous choices even in the face of ridicule or hatred. I don't seek to be a martyr. I only want to help other humans to see a better way to live so we could have a better world.
     One very memorable "Lamanite" was named Samuel. He tried to warn people that they were going to regret the way they were living. He tried to tell them what they could expect to happen. Most of them didn't want to listen, but a few did. He stood on top of a wall and spoke loudly crying repentance. That's what prophets do. But all of us who have chosen to be the Lord's followers are expected to share our testimonies. My Lord has said, "Feed my sheep." These days there aren't many city walls to stand on. If I did, I would be considered a looney-tune. All I can do is pray for opportunities to share my belief in living up to our divine potential as children of God. I keep writing this blog with the hope that someone, even just one, will read something that will help them to overcome whatever natural man in them is an enemy to God, repent, and choose the better way. The Lord has defined for us that we can know if a man repents because he admits his errors and forsakes them. What errors? That is up to each one to determine. A prophet/king in the Book of Mormon said, "I cannot tell you all the things whereby you may commit sin; for there are divers ways and means, even so many that I cannot number them." (Mosiah 4:29) If anyone is sincere about improving their relationship with Heavenly Father along with all of the good people who are striving for the same goal, they can find out what they have to change. God is happy to guide us and help us where we're weak. We only have to want to- and ask.

Naked came I into the world

     Recently I read an article about a young man suffering from cancer. He asked for a blessing and the priesthood holder said something to the effect, "I know you have the faith to be healed if that is the Lord's will. Do you have the faith to NOT be healed?" (His cancer did go into remission at least temporarily but that's not the issue at hand.) The emphasis is on considering exactly how humble we are in accepting the Lord's will in all things. Do we really love, respect, and want to obey Him? Or is that only when He wants what we want? Today in church a returned missionary quoted the country song about "unanswered prayers". Do we sometimes think the Lord hasn't heard us or is testing our patience or too busy to answer?
     Years ago I became acquainted with the book of Job in the Bible. I taught it as part of the course on the Old Testament to a group of teenagers. I must confess, I didn't like it very much. I mean, how can you really like a sad story where a really good guy loses everything? I have gained just a little more wisdom since then. I have come to realize how Job could say, "Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord." When we truly love the Lord and trust Him, we know that His promise that everything can be turned to our good is true. We may not know how it can be turned to our good, but we can choose to feel peace because we trust Him.
     Growing up, I loved to sing. As a young child, I learned to sing the Lord's Prayer and sometimes would sing it at night to my family in our cabin in the Adirondacks as we laid in bed to go to sleep. Later I took some voice lessons when we moved to Ithaca, NY and spent quite a bit of time singing to entertain organizations, on radio, on tv, at the World's Fair in NY, at the State Fair, and even at a banquet on Broadway for some vocal coaches. I considered the idea of having a whole career in singing! But it was not to be. My life took a different turn and I sang in church instead. But now, despite the lovely voice the Lord gave me, it is gone. Age along with the fact that one of my vocal cords is now paralyzed, "the Lord hath taken away" my lovely singing voice.
     In 1978 Russ and I were anxious to have more children. I won't go into the lengthy details but we went to a great deal of trouble to add to our two children that we had at the time. To our delight, in Dec. l979, Ammon  David was born. He wasn't always a delight, but he was a gift from God. Then in 2008 a stunning accident ended his life. Once again, "the Lord hath taken away" a great gift He had given us.
     I can't say that in either case, we have been just smiling and happy, ready to willingly accept the Lord's choice for us. Neither was Job. But we continue to be blessed every day. We have been greatly blessed in so many ways throughout our life! The disappointment when Russ didn't get what we thought was a really good job he had worked hard to get later resulted in getting a much better job more perfectly suited to him with terrific long-term advantages we still enjoy 20 years after he retired. The wife and children Ammon left us, along with her choice of a wonderful "new" husband and father for the kids, have all greatly blessed our life. Our son, James, and daughter, Angela that we had before Ammon have enriched our lives in countless ways. Added bonuses have been our younger daughter, Lisa, and our unofficially adopted son, John, with their attached families. We have been blessed to live in a free and prosperous country, notwithstanding the current moral decline. We have been blessed with good health and lots of wonderful opportunities to travel and experience so many things. Our extended family and multitudes of friends have been so supportive and loving we couldn't ask for more.
     I don't know about tomorrow. There could be tragedy just around the bend. I hope I can be humble and trusting as I feel right now in accepting whatever form the Lord's love takes in my life. I don't want to just be a "fair weather follower". He gave me more than I could even comprehend. He has continued to love me even when I have been very un-lovable. If I strive to be what He wants me to be, I may succeed in enduring well- to whatever end I meet whenever I meet it.

Liberty or Security (Russ)

        Benjamin Franklin is reported to have said, "any man who is willing to sacrifice liberty for security deserves neither." We LDS members believe this was the subject of the war in heaven before we came to earth. We also believe that all those who have come to earth chose the Father's plan of agency (liberty) over Satan's plan of no loses (security). We saw the wisdom of allowing us to make choices so we could learn to distinguish good from evil. We could not learn this if evil were not allowed to exist. I believe Satan proposed his plan with the best of intentions, "not one would be lost". I seems to me that many of us who once understood the wisdom of agency have now changed our minds. When faced with the reality of the risks involved, we have been frightened into wanting to surrender our agency in return for the promise of security. We have been warned repeatedly from the pulpit by our general authorities of the danger of socialism. (security) The church welfare system was begun to eliminate the curse of the doll. President David O. McKay said, " next to the bestowal of life itself, the right to direct that life is God's greatest gift to man."
       Just as I don't believe that Satan had bad intentions, I don't believe that those who support socialism have bad intentions either. The problem is the promise is never fulfilled. LBJ was correctly motivated to provide aide to unwed mothers. What could be more loving and generous than that? The result?  73% of black households are of single mother parentage resulting in what we see in the streets today. Yes, there are many risks to giving men liberty and God knew this. That is why he provided a savior for those who saw the error of their ways and learned from them. My son was killed falling off a motorcycle without a helmet. I still do not support mandatory helmet laws. Would he be alive today if he had worn one? Possibly, but the choice was his to make and that is as it should be.
       In the same way Satan said "give me thine honor". Socialists say, "Give me your resources". Conservatives give more of their personal wealth to charity than to liberals so it is not a lack of compassion. It is an understanding of the bigger picture. How can we learn the proper way to direct our lives if someone else does all the directing? Remember there is a safety net at the end called the atonement. Agency is the prime directive of the universe given by God himself. Don't allow Satan to scare you into giving it up.
        I have tried very hard not to make this "political" but philosophical instead. I believe I am on solid gospel ground here. If God himself will not interfere with our freedom of choice who are we to do otherwise?    Enough said, I have tried to make my point.

Who are you?

     There have been times when I have been talking to people and they find out I know someone they happen to know. When they ask me questions like: Where do they work? or Where are they from? or How many kids do they have? I often don't know. I have felt awkward about it when they may be people I see at least weekly at church or maybe more often. On further thought, I don't feel so bad. It's not as important whether you are a doctor, electrician, fulltime parent, or teacher as it is that you are trustworthy, dependable, honest and hardworking in your chosen field. It's not as important where you were born as the character you have chosen to be. It's not as important how many children, or even if you have children, as it is how you treat children.
     When we leave this life, or even earlier, when our kids are grown and gone or we are retired or we have lived in 10 places since the place of our birth, what remains will be our character. You are not defined by your occupation, that is just the way you have earned money to provide necessities and some level of luxuries. You are not defined by how many children you have had, adopted, natural birth or c-section or even if you have had any at all. You show what you are by whether you are irritated by, ignore, or treat with respect those who happen to start their earth life later than you did. You are not defined by the happenstance of the location of your birth. I did not choose to be born in the United States in a loving family but I sure am grateful that I was! There are millions who are born in places and under circumstances that may have been extremely difficult for them to survive, much less progress. Being born with the advantages I have had does not justify disdain for those less privileged. Being born without advantages does not justify hating those who happened to be born royalty or wealthy. You are not defined by whatever God-given talents you possess. Someone who plays the piano by ear is not in any way a superior person to someone who struggles for years practicing and taking lessons. Someone who is a good public speaker is not superior to someone who is painfully shy and stammers. You are not defined by your ancestry. If you had a horse thief, murderer, nun, alcoholic, king, or farmer in your family it doesn't pre-determine who you choose to be. You are not defined by your appearance. Besides being totally subjective (my body shape was much more attractive during the Renaissance than during the 1970's or even today), your appearance may influence how you are treated but not how you treat others. There are beautiful people who are whited sepulchres- lovely on the outside but full of rotten stuff: jealousy, greed, lust, sloth, hatred, etc. On the other hand, there are people who have deformities, are "too short" or "too tall" or "too fat" or "too skinny" but are really delightful to be around. We mortal creatures place WAAAAYY too much stock in what's on the outside. We do judge books by their covers. We could improve social relations by encouraging each other to develop who we are inside and not be so quick to categorize others in ways we don't like to be categorized.

FREEDOM

     Most Christians recognize that God has granted ALL of His children the right (and responsibility and accountability) to choose for themselves. He gives advice through prophets and the Holy Ghost, but He does not force any of us to make any choices. He wants each of us to be who it is we have decided to be, on our own. The flip side of that is that He is sometimes silent when we approach Him for guidance. It is important for our development to try a little on our own. He may give hints through events or people around us, but mostly He wants us to try our wings. As I walked home from the temple today, I was thinking about the feeling of "freedom"; that thrill in a child's heart (and the teachers, too!) when school is out for the day and even more when it is out for vacation, or the thrill when the adult's work day is over or the weekend comes. We each treasure "freedom", except when faced with hard choices or dreaded inevitabilities. Then we prefer freedom with a little assistance. I wondered about what assistance God gets. He is in charge of a LOT! Does anybody ever offer Him counsel? Does our puny efforts at praise suffice to keep Him going with the confidence He needs? Since we are made in His image, do we have the potential to know enough to have the determination He has to forge ahead- eternally?
     There is a saying, something about identifying a person's true character by what they do when they don't HAVE to do anything. In other words, how do you use your "free" time? I don't think the implication is that we all need to work relentlessly or we're simply, deeply lazy. I think there is something to be said for pondering or meditating. Creativity is only developed through minds allowed to wander a bit. When a child has "free" time, they often will watch a butterfly or throw pebbles in a puddle. They are viewing elements of the world to learn how things work and to simply feel wonder. As we grow older, rather than seek wonder or understanding, we too often resort to seeking mindless "entertainment". When we are simply spectators to the works of others, we advance very little. When we spend much of our communication with others simply describing the works of others, without gaining insights or stretching our understanding, we are mentally standing still.
     The Lord has told us that whatever principle of intelligence we gain here will go with us beyond mortality. Those who gain more intelligence, which has nothing to do with memorized trivia, will have so much the advantage in eternal life. Part of the use of our God-given freedom is choosing to think more. This would eliminate time spent gossiping (talking about and judging others for no purpose other than to pass along information- usually destructive), playing video games, repeatedly reading novels well-below our ability to understand, watching endless hours of games played by people we don't know personally, and especially any form of destruction of people or property- littering, breaking things (vandalism), pulling wings off flies, and similar activities.
     The Lord is not going to have a list of required accomplishments for each of us. We can't "earn" our way into His presence. What He is hoping for is the development of our character. He is hoping we will want to spend eternity learning at His feet, gaining endless wisdom and knowledge. How we spend our "free" time on earth is our choice. We are developing our eternal character and will be housed in mansions accordingly. It's not about pass/fail or some kind of grading system. Our eternity will be decided by ourselves. We get what we want.

Please share with me your thoughts

     I was remembering that our church units used to do projects to earn money for our budgets. At the time we often complained about having to spend so much time doing "non-church" things just to earn money. (We now have our individual unit budgets totally funded through tithing.) However, it wasn't long before we found ourselves reminiscing about the hours spent on those projects, going over memories of experiences together. Now, unless you serve in a calling (church position) with someone, you only see them in passing going into church, going from class to class, or sitting in meetings together listening to a speaker or teacher and making occasional comments.
     I then considered welfare, starting with the simple act of giving something to my own child. If a child works hard to earn something they want, they generally take better care of it and appreciate its value more than when it is just handed to them. Most long-term or multi-generational welfare recipients have little appreciation for the value of what they are given without requirement of work.
     I then thought about scriptures like Matthew 7:14, "strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it." And John 6:60, "Many therefore of his disciples, when they heard this, said, This is an hard saying; who can hear it?" And I wondered- WHY is it that it's so important for things to require our effort? Why is that anything worthwhile has to be hard? Really, if you could purchase an Olympic gold medal or forge one yourself, would you be as excited about having it as the Olympian who has worked countless hours to win one through great effort?
     I have been pondering this for several days and have brought it up to a couple of people who I thought might be interested in seeking a greater understanding, too. It's not really a searchable subject in the scriptures. I'm sure some sociologist or anthropologist has studied this issue and derived at least one theory about the cause and effect. God knows that much of mortal life is hard. He said to Adam, "cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field; In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread..." (Personally, I believe the phrase for thy sake refers not to a punishment like God felt Adam deserved to suffer but a consequence of Adam's choice to know good and evil. God wanted him to understand fully what the consequences of evil would be. Slothfulness, greed, and gluttony are all sins too easily embraced by mortal beings!)
      I would really appreciate any input on this issue. Here are the thoughts I have come to:
First of all, humility is essential for education. You simply cannot teach anyone who thinks they already know everything. But humility is not a natural characteristic for most mortals. That's why we have so many warnings about PRIDE. It's our knee-jerk reaction. If someone criticizes us we are much more likely to be offended than to consider we might have some improving to do. If someone tries to teach us something we are more likely to tune them out as boring, thinking we have sufficient knowledge already. When things are hard, when we have to actually struggle to accomplish something, we are brought down a peg to being more humble. Then we can finally learn. God, as our Father, wants us to learn. He will be teaching us for eternity, if we make that our choice.
Secondly, when things are hard, we feel weak and alone which usually causes us to reach out for help. The Lord has sent prophets who have kept records (scriptures) to let us know He is there willing to help us any time. All we have to do is ask. There are words in a hymn that say, "God will force no man to heaven." He also will not force Himself on us. He may reach out to smite evil people to try to get their attention but He does not force us to accept His Son's atonement, to follow His Son, or to love Him. "Seek and ye shall find. Knock and it shall be opened unto you." God wants to be a part of our life, just as any loving parent feels toward their child.
A similar result is reaching out to others. The Lord wants us to love one another. One of the best ways to develop that love is to serve and to be served. Most people will automatically feel love toward someone who thankfully receives help. Most people (unless they have a pride issue!) will feel love toward someone who helps them. If we are to be one as the Father and Son are one, we need to be willing to open up to each other- acknowledge weakness and a need for help then give and/or receive help.
     I don't have God's wisdom but I'm striving to gain tiny parts of it. I don't want to just acquire knowledge of earthly matters. What I gain in knowledge and wisdom, along with relationships, is all I will take with me when my mortal probation is over. It won't matter if I can quote movie dialogue or dates of major world events or the names of big sports stars. I'm 65 and I figure I have about 20 years left, unless the Savior returns sooner which would be alright with me. I don't want to waste any time on stuff that doesn't matter. I want to learn how to be like Jesus. I want to learn how to truly help people and not just bake them bread or a casserole. I want to learn how to overcome those elements of the natural man (which is an enemy to God) so I will not be His enemy.

Random??

     I realize much of the country and even the world is really intent on politics and the Olympics. I'm sorry but I think of them as only temporary issues in the eternal scheme of things. Eventually there will be no United States or any other country for that matter. We are all God's children and have just made up boundaries between us. The Father and His Son would prefer that we love each other and work together for good rather than compete or attempt to beat each other. (Lest there be misunderstanding, I realize that many athletes only have it in mind to do the best they can and actually feel a bond with other excellent athletes no matter where they come from. ) I continue to be amazed here in Nauvoo by "coincidences" which are not really just coincidences at all. I have wondered how it is that there are so many experiences of what my son calls "small world" incidents. Is it really just a random coincidence that 50 years ago a man visits some friends of his parents in Utah that he really doesn't know, then finds out over a dinner conversation in Illinois 50 year later that he and his wife are working in the temple where the daughter of that family he visited is serving as a temple matron? Is it just coincidence that a man born and raised in Germany, later immigrating to the US, works in the temple and happens to be assigned to an area where he meets a young woman who happens to be visiting from the small town where he was born and raised in Germany? I understand that coincidences truly do happen to lots of people all over the world. However, if there could be such a study, I would guess that a study of such "coincidences" would show that there are more of them among LDS Church members than in most places among most people. Why?
     As I read the scriptures in the temple today, I came across what could be an answer to that question. I read in John 10: "The works that I do in my Father's name, they bear witness of me. But ye believe not, because ye are not of my sheep... My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.... I and my Father are one." Most people in the LDS Church to whom these experiences happen are fully aware they are orchestrated by a higher power. We call them "tender mercies" of the Lord, using a term coined by a modern-day apostle. It makes sense to me that when you have a group of people who are focusing on obeying and serving the Lord, trying to be "one" with Him as He is with the Father, they are going to be where He wants them to be when He wants them to be there. And that loving Father wants us to know each other and love each other so we are put in circumstances where we are brought together. He wants us to realize in a world that can be scary and chaotic that we are not alone. Hearing the still, small voice of the Comforter can be pretty difficult when the world is shouting in your ears and flashing in your eyes and inside your head you have mounting doubts and fears. If we take the time to read about Him so we can be reassured of His love for us and His promises that things will be alright, like for the sparrows of the air and lilies of the field, we can receive comfort. But sometimes we just don't take the time to try to make contact with Him. He tries to send us messages but we don't always get them. It's not that He doesn't try to contact us, it's that we don't listen and receive.
     I know that those I love have the freedom to make choices just as I have. I know I can't force them to pay attention to or follow the Lord. My heart just aches with the desire that they could ALL feel His love and could choose to be among His sheep, listening for His voice. He truly does bring peace and goodwill for ALL of us- if that's what we choose.