WHY??

I was recently struck by a scripture that has cause me to wonder- WHY? The scripture says, "For the dead had looked upon the long absence of their spirits from their bodies as a bondage. These the Lord taught, and gave them power to come forth, after the resurrection from the dead, to enter into his Father's kingdom, there to be crowned with immortality and eternal life.." This is about where people go when they leave earth life. I have had no problem understanding why we would want to be able to return to live forever with Jesus and our Heavenly Father, as well as with those we love and those who have chosen to be good people. But as I have watched my mother's capacities slowly dwindle, and as I have observed suffering of body and spirit, I think of leaving the body as a release and a relief. Why would the dead "look upon the long absence of their spirits from their bodies as a bondage"?? I seriously can't grasp why we would want to return to bodies when there is so much pain, confusion, and sorrow in them. I understand that having a body to begin with was important because there is so much we have to learn that really works best with a physical body, more than just a disembodied spirit. And , as I said before, I understand wanting to be re-connected with loved ones. But why consider the absence of a body, after having lived in it, as a bondage? Maybe there are things we can know in our bodies that we can't know in just a spirit--? But we are told that whatever principle of intelligence a man attains in this life will rise with him in the resurrection. And we are also told that the same sociality we enjoy here will exist later. So why is it so desirable to have a body? I would really appreciate the thoughts of anyone who might read this and understand something I obviously don't.

Relationships

I find myself more and more pondering issues without always coming to a definite conclusion. Lately I have been aware of unsettling attitudes developing throughout society centered around sex. Before hitting the teens, I was barely aware of what sex was. I figured there were boys and there were girls and sometimes they liked each other and sometimes they found each other annoying. Kissing and holding hands were the extent of interaction between members of the two groups that I was really aware of. Hormones kicked in as I hit the teenage years and I was aware of more parts of the body. I remember watching a parade at Disneyland when I was 14 and a man came up- CLOSE- behind me and I kept feeling a prodding in my backside. I was startled to glance around and see that the area of his pants below his waist was swelling and that was what he was poking me with. It gave me the creeps but I wasn't really sure why. I just moved away from him and closer to my parents. I have seen a doctor on tv counsel a single woman that, if she was having unfulfilled sexual desires, she could "take care of that herself". It gave me the creeps. I stopped watching that show- permanently. I saw a letter to an advice columnist from a female telling about a relationship where her partner had "cheated" on her with a former lover and she wasn't sure how to deal with it. She stated that they were lesbians. I pitied the columnist having to write a "helpful" response. I felt uncomfortable about it. For most of my life I have pondered this whole "sex" issue. Homosexuality was once scorned by society but is now forcibly embraced in order to avoid "homophobia", which is the hatred of people. I don't get that at all. In order to be considered loving, you must accept actions that are perverse to you? Pornography was once scorned by society but is now becoming more and more pervasive to the extent that there are CHILDREN being exposed to it in their homes and becoming addicted, influenced in their actions, and sadly warped in their perceptions of relationships.
So, what is sex?? What is it for?? Is it just a physical desire like enjoying a salty or sweet taste in the taste receptors on your tongue? Does it matter who you have excite or satisfy your desire- a paid "professional", a person of the same or opposite sex you may or may not know, yourself, a dog or a child?? In order to avoid "hatred" of people who have different desires/tastes from you, is it a requirement to simply accept desires of different people, without opinion?
So far, the only answer I feel really good about, is that our sex organs are for the purpose of binding us, physically and emotionally, to a mate. We have a desire (lust) and rely on one other person to know us and that we trust to satisfy that physical and emotional desire. Love is not a necessary part of sex. But without love, sex is simply an animal instinct being pursued. Marriage is not required. Commitment is not required. You simply seek a scratch for your itch. THAT gives me the creeps. I realize I have a lot in common with other creatures of the earth but I really feel like I am not simply another species inhabiting the planet. If I am subject to my animal instincts without control, I am simply an animal. I want to be more than that. People often try to ascribe lofty analyzing, motivations, and thought processes to animals. Research has not been able to substantiate that any other living creature is capable of as advanced thinking as humans.
So, other than binding us- making us "one flesh", what is sex for? Again, the only answer I feel good about is creating more of our species. We combine our differing DNA's to bring about a body to house another human being which starts out helpless and totally ignorant. We teach that new being how to survive, just as other creatures do, but we go further. We hope they will learn all we have to teach them and MORE. We hope they will be able to advance the world in ways we were unable to do. Two females cannot make another human. Neither can two males. Neither can one person alone. This is not just a commitment. This is creation. It is a major responsibility. Not all humans grasp the significance of it. Children are too often just the accidental result of two lustful beings satisfying an urge without thought beyond what feels good/exciting. I'm not saying this in a judgmental way. I have fallen prey to this form of self-gratification in my life. The results were a very confused teenager, even an unwanted pregnancy. Following the advice of adults that I thought were more capable than I, and certainly having a nice solution to my problem, I went out of the country to obtain an abortion in a country where it was legal at the time. With the "religious training" I had at the time, I still was horrified. I was not taught that abortion was murder. But I felt really bad about it. I was greatly scarred by the procedure- maybe not physically but definitely emotionally. Making children is NOT just a by-product of achieving physical satisfaction.
It concerns me greatly to see good people of the world heading, like the proverbial lemmings off the cliff, toward accepting sex as acceptable under any circumstances. Inside my head I scream, "NO!" I know it's getting way out of hand. I don't know if I can do anything to stop it. I know there is ONE who can. And I know the time will come when we will hear, in the booming words of Bill Cosby, "All right- everybody out of the pool!"

Getting rich

There is a bumper sticker that I often quote because it is so untrue. I think it's supposed to be funny. It's something to the effect "The one who dies with the most toys wins". The main reason I think it's not as funny as it could be is that too many people actually live as if it were true. Money and everything related to it seems to be the ultimate goal of way too many people. I use money in the generic sense of a medium for trading to get what you want. Bartering was the original form of acquisition but it was definitely cumbersome. The town barber didn't always want a pig or whatever you had to offer. So money became a more convenient way to work out trading what you have for what you want. People seek for money, not just to provide necessities of life, but for power, luxuries, and competition. Money is truly the currency for earth.
So I was wondering, what is the currency for heaven? Obviously, the earth and the fullness thereof is God's. He doesn't need cash or anything it represents- gold, jewels, land, etc. What is the most valuable commodity of heaven? Jesus taught that the greatest commandment is to love God and the second is like unto it, love your neighbor as yourself. Everything I have ever heard about heaven involves praising God. Praise is given when beings are in awe of or really like something/someone. Isn't that love? Jesus taught us to even love our enemies! God loved us so much He was willing to give us His Only Begotten Son. What does He want in exchange? Our love. The Lord said, "If ye love me, keep my commandments". Obedience isn't for the purpose of making Him feel greater or more powerful, although that certainly must occur. After all, any leader has more power if he is obeyed. But God doesn't need kow-towing of lowly mortals, even if we are His children, in order to be powerful. As a matter of fact, His ultimate goal and desire is to give us all that He has. He wants to share His power and glory, not hoard it. Love can be a powerful force. In romantic stories, love is the cause for all kinds of bravery. People do some crazy and really difficult things out of love- one form or another: romantic love, love for children/family, love of country, etc.
In heaven, in front of God, there is only truth. Here on earth we have managed to come up with counterfeits for love just as we have for money. "Lovers" is a term for people who have sex with each other. But lust is not love. Sometimes people who love each other have sexual relations but love is not a requirement for someone to want to have sex with someone else. God wants us to love Him so we will trust Him. He can only teach us if we are willing to listen and learn. We have to trust Him to do that. Here on earth, people sometimes encourage loyalty or trust but it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with love. Sometimes it's a way to gain power- sooner or later. God loves us and wants us to be happy. Here on earth, we sometimes try to achieve "happiness" through artificial means: chemicals, thrills, giving or receiving stuff, even achieving revenge! None of that is true happiness. It's counterfeit.
So "lay not up for yourselves treasure where moth and rust doth corrupt". We would be much wiser to work harder at accumulating heavenly currency. If we have an abundance of love, we will be wealthy indeed.

Entertaining boys

This is the face of a young man happy to be driving even though he is legally too young to do so! Here in Sun City, golf carts are a common sight. They are used by many people for all the things they would use a car for and sometimes they are the only vehicle they own. When our daughter Angela and family came at Thanksgiving time, our neighbor kindly let us borrow his golf cart for a little recreational time for the boys. We had used the cart when James's family was here over the summer, too, and it was a big hit then. The photo above is Joshua, who will probably have a drivers license in a few more years and will be a good driver.

 

The second photo is Martin. He did pretty well driving. (They both only drove in an empty parking lot.) But due to autism, we don't know if or when Martin, who will be 16 all too soon, will be able to drive. This was a big event for both of them. Here in Sun City, there is very little entertainment available for young people. James's family found that out when they were here for an extended visit. The kids were really pleasant about the horribly hot temperatures and recreational venue limits set on them (because they are not yet 55), but it required some real creativity.  The photo below shows the creativity of the boys here at Thanksgiving time.  My sister Gloria's 3 boys were added to Angela's 3 boys. Since they were not allowed on the golf course and didn't want to just sit in front of a tv or even read all the time, they got out what "building materials" were available to them (they all have lots of Legos at home) and they created something. This is a combination of chess pieces, dominos, and Jenga blocks. Pretty interesting.......

My best Christmas gift!

I have been struggling over what I could possibly give to my mother for a gift. It's not that I am insistent on giving gifts at Christmas-- or any other occasion. But Mom is now on hospice care and no longer able to swallow very well and losing weight so it looks like she won't be around TOO much longer. She really doesn't need anything. I can't giver her candy because she can't eat it. There are very few clothing items she could possibly use and the practical part of me just feels that anything extra she has will just have to be disposed of eventually.  But Mom loves music and church. We had a Christmas "sing-a-long" today at church. I decided to ask the people in attendance if anyone would be willing to drive over to the care center afterwards to sing to my mother. Some of the people remember her but some never really knew her. She has been in the care center for over 5 years now. Up until over 2 years ago I rolled her over to church on Sundays but there was a time when she could no longer manage going. She used to sing faithfully in the ward choir. The sing-a-long wasn't really super well attended. This is a busy time of year and people had other things to do. So I wasn't really expecting very many people to come. But the number of hands held up at the question of who might be able to go sing took me by surprise. On the spur of the moment, about 20 people were willing to convene at the care center and sing a cappela to my mother.

It was so touching to see her mouth the words along with the familiar Christmas songs and she just beamed! The people who came were touched, too. A few times we struggled to keep singing due to the tears in our eyes and the constricted throats. A few other residents heard the singing and came to listen. Mom felt like the star of the show when everyone greeted her, hugged and kissed her and wished her a Merry Christmas.

At the end of our singing, a manager came out to talk to us and was not at all surprised to find out we were LDS. He said, "I could tell you were LDS before I even came out and was told."  He was delighted to have us there.I know there are people who are a bit put-off at the attitude of Latter-Day Saints. We don't mean to be at all exclusionary but there is truly a spirit about active  Latter-Day Saints. We strive to follow the Savior in our everyday lives. Sometimes that is recognized. Being a part of a good group of people, especially in this increasingly self-centered, troubled world, feels really good. The instantaneous willingness to take time to do something nice like this just filled my heart to overflowing!

I wish I had more pictures for this blog but these are the only two I have. These are pictures of an army. This army is worldwide and includes millions of people- some you might know and some that might surprise you. Yesterday in Yarnell, AZ ( most of the town citizens were burned out or touched in some major way by a major wildfire there several months ago), we numbered well over 100 from all ages and occupations, everything from young children to older people who are physically disabled. We worked hard and most of us got pretty dirty and sweaty but, everyone had a job they could do and they did it with joy and enthusiasm.

The second picture is from longer ago and includes some of my grandchildren. My oldest son recently served as a part of this army but I don't have a picture. He was helping with clean-up after Hurricane Sandy. My older daughter and her family also have served in this army. They helped awhile ago with evacuation then clean-up after flooding in Minot, ND.
Many more years ago, I gave a ride to a friend to the MTC in Provo, Utah. I remember so vividly feeling a surge of emotion as the crowded room there watched videos and sang songs about serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons-like the Mormon Helping Hands in these pictures). I was so thrilled that this young man with me was joining this army of wonderful people whose mission is to serve the Lord finding others who want to do the same thing but may not know how. None of the members of this army are perfect as an example to follow in everything they do- but they are trying. I am proud to be a part of this army and look forward to the day when I can spend all my time, at least for a couple of years, on a mission to teach those who want to hear, like this part of the army- now including my oldest grandson.

Who's the judge?

     I just attended a "Talent Search" here in Sun City. As you can imagine, since you have to be over 55 to live here, the contestants were, shall we say- "not young"? There was a group of 22 women, former cheerleaders maybe, aged 57-80 that did a pom pom routine. The contestants had been pre-screened by previous auditions so this group of 12 semi-finalists were to be judged to continue on to the finals. There were two "official" judges, both connected to the entertainment industry, and the audience all had ballots to fill in. The pom pom girls were pretty good for their age but I don't think they would be as impressive if not for their advanced years. Since all the other acts were single individuals, there were more audience members to vote for the pom pom girls than for any other act. I seriously doubt they would have been voted on to the next round in comparison to the other acts if not for the audience vote.
     This has gotten me thinking about judging. I can't understand, for instance, why some movie star is interviewed on a tv show to give advice on raising children, or a sports star to give advice on dating, or a music star to show how to cook. Would it be appropriate for an expert equestrian to audition opera singers? Should a knowledgeable architect rate a heart surgeon's work? How is it determined who should act as a fair judge in anything? How is it determined who is an expert in anything enough to act as a judge? There are many different aspects of every category and generally there is ample room for widely varying opinions on how well something works, how it looks, how much effort is required to use each method to accomplish the task at hand, etc. Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder, and that is also true of nearly every aspect of anything. How about character? Who has a legitimate right to judge whether a person's character is "good" or "bad"? Even in what could be considered extreme situations, there can be differing opinions. For instance, most people would judge that killing a child is bad. What about abortion? What about war? We humans are all constantly viewing the world around us and trying to decide what we agree with. We "judge" all day every day.
     The scriptures say, "with that same judgment which ye judge ye shall be judged". Most people are quick to remind others to simply not judge. That really doesn't work. When anyone adopts a "herd mentality" and goes along with what people around them are doing rather than think things out for himself, really bad things can happen. We have all seen images of riots and there are way too many examples of genocide in the history of the world. Such people have no self-confidence in determining for themselves what should or should not be done. They are trusting too much that others are choosing what is best. On the other hand, a person who claims to be a rebel can be just as unthinking. To choose a path simply because others are NOT choosing it is just as foolish. A rebel has too much self-pride and trusts very few others. Neither way is going to work to judge what is right (good) or wrong (bad). So, who is to define what makes "good" character? God? By whose definition would that be? I certainly would not agree with the judgments of the god chosen by radical extremists in ANY religion. For me, that would even include those who make "God" someone who is so totally forgiving and loving that He doesn't care what you do as long as you say you believe in him. Simple vocal declaration of belief means very little. The way you live is more of a declaration that means something. When can you believe a hypocrite or a liar?
     The bottom line is, we each choose/judge. God will for sure have the ultimate word on everything and when we all face the ultimate judgment, we'll find out. In the meantime, until we die or the Second Coming occurs (whichever happens first), we will continue to judge all day every day. We judge for ourselves how important it is to be honest, to be helpful, kind, forgiving, willing to sacrifice our time or energy to benefit others, to make the effort to learn, to spend endless hours in self-entertainment and self-indulgence. In essence, we are our own judges. God is not going to force anyone to Heaven. He only wants to spend eternity with those of His children who want to spend eternity with Him because we want what He wants. If you want to destroy the lives of those who don't believe as you do, you will spend eternity with beings who want to do that, too. If you want to work hard so you aren't a burden to others, you will spend eternity with those who are also willing to work hard. If you want peace, you will spend eternity with peaceful beings. YOU are the judge.