This is what I'm looking for

     We have four different accounts in the New Testament of the "trial" of Jesus before Pontius Pilate with some subtle differences. (That would certainly be expected since the four men were different. Today if two witnesses describe something using the exact phrases with total agreement of sequence of events, their accounts are immediately considered suspicious by legal agents.) As I continue to search out the path to follow the example of Jesus Christ, I do notice something I can learn from His actions during this time. He was totally humble.  He wasn't defensive or aggressive toward the soldiers or the Jewish leaders. If I were being falsely accused, would I be able to remain calm and humble? Would I consider it be to my advantage to fight back? This occasion for Jesus is not anything that I will likely ever go through. He knew it was going to happen and He knew only He could do it. It awes me that he held his tongue most of the time and was concise and firmly confident with the few words He uttered. Personally, I think that's what was so unsettling to Pilate. He couldn't figure out what the big fuss was over this quiet, obviously honorable man. Jesus's goal was not to win the argument with His accusers. His goal was to endure to the end, seeing to it that His mission was accomplished.  My goal should not be to try to justify myself to others as I go about learning and following God's commandments. I just need to do my part, whatever that might be at any given moment. I may not win any awards from mankind or even applause or compliments. What I yearn for is the quiet assurance through the Spirit that I am doing okay and, eventually, those sweet words from my Savior, "Well done thou good and faithful servant."

Brainwashed???

     I don't get it. Why is religion such a different, more socially unacceptable topic from politics, health, even sexual relations?! It seems that the only people who are allowed to talk about religious experience or feelings are those who are looked upon as extremists, and they are just basically dismissed. There is one instance that I feel especially passionate about concerning this issue. People have no problem influencing their children about politics. It's logical that the children are young and need guidance, right? Or if you know someone who has eaten too much meat through their life and ends up with colon cancer, most parents would have no hesitation to counsel their children strongly about not eating so much meat. If you know someone (like I happen to) who is late middle age and realizes their decades of constant consumption of carbonated drinks has built up a potentially hazardous affect on their esophagus, you would use that as a justification to limit a child's consumption of soda. Parents may feel a little awkward about it, but usually will approach the "birds and the bees" topic with their children. Again, it's logical that the feelings and physical changes that start occurring are foreign to a growing child and some explanation and guidance is going to be helpful. But, religion? Russ and I have even been accused of brainwashing our children because we were teaching them about God and Jesus Christ. Many people will say that they aren't sure about it so they want to just let their children grow up then decide for themselves what to think. If your kids don't hear anything from you, they will hear what the world is shouting at them through Hollywood and other forms of media. Why is it a bad thing to read scriptures, ponder, pray, then teach your children what you have discovered? Why is religious training called brainwashing but opinions about politics or health or sexual relations are expected and even encouraged?
     I am so grateful for the spiritual experiences I have had. I know there is an existence beyond what we can see, hear, or touch with our physical senses. I don't yet understand everything about how it all works but I do know it's real. I will not be ashamed to share my experiences with those I love. It's hard, though, because I know that casting pearls before swine can do more harm than good. Sharing very personal "miracles" can be interpreted by some as bordering insanity. I guess all I can do is continue to urge my posterity, or anybody else, to read scriptures, pray, and ponder for themselves so they can have their own witness. I hope they do.

Asking for help

     When the mortal Christ was near the end of His life He went to the Garden of Gethsemane with some of His disciples. They stayed in one place while He went further to pray. (I wonder if the garden was bigger then than it is now. I have been there and with the size it is now, He couldn't have gone very far away.) After awhile, He returned to the disciples and found them asleep "for sorrow". I'm not sure what that means. Were they exhausted from the worry and concern for the threat the church leaders posed? Were they sorrowing because they didn't know how, when, or why their Lord kept hinting that He would be leaving them? When Jesus spoke to them, He told them to waken and "pray lest ye enter into temptation". He had been praying more intensely than any of us have ever prayed. He had been feeling pain, anguish, sorrow, and agony beyond what we can comprehend. It must be that, as at least half-mortal, He felt temptation- not the temptations He had felt at the start of His mission when Satan tried to ensnare Him or at least dissuade Him from His mission. He only murmured, "If it be thy will, let this cup pass from me", which shows that He was at least struggling. His admonition to His followers to pray probably had more to do with temptations to doubt, fear, give up, resent, or give in to self-pity more than the temptations to sin that we generally think of. Those were the temptations facing Jesus at this point. But He knew what had to happen. He knew that, although He could ask for their love and support, He had to fulfill His mission without the help of His disciples. He had angels watching over Him, just as the choir of angels had exultantly sung at the time of His birth. (That would not have been like the Wal-Mart loudspeakers, by the way. The shepherds heard them because they were in tune with the spirit, aware of and seeking closeness to God.) Yet Jesus had to do what He had to do alone. He knew His disciples would be facing some trials of their own and was urging them to do what He was doing- PRAY.
      We need to do the same thing. The Savior will not be standing next to us speaking out loud for our ears to pick up the sound waves and send them through to the auditory nerves in our brain to decipher. He is trying to reach us through the words of prophets and through the whisperings of the Spirit. Much of the suffering we go through is borne of our own anxiety in which we choose to indulge. We anguish over a loved one who is ill or suffering, not knowing the outcome. We fear that we will lose our home, job, abilities due to age, or friends. We succumb to depression due to our choice to feel self-pity or doubt. Jesus has said, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." I have pondered what He meant by this. How can we actually share our burdens with our Savior so they become light? It's easy enough to understand that when we share any burden, the weight is then distributed so it is lighter than carrying it all by ourselves. But how is it that we share sorrow, pain, fear, frustration?? One way we know is really helpful is simply to talk about it. We have all felt the ease of such burdens when we discuss our concerns with someone who cares. So praying is talking to our Father in Heaven in the name of Christ. That helps us to feel that there is someone who knows and cares. But how can we turn it over to Christ? How can we give up our weakness, our doubts, our pain, our fear to Him? When we acknowledge that we have done all we can figure out how to do or that our fears are for something that might happen and we don't really know how or when, we can realize that we have reached our own limit. We need someone's help who can reach further. God and our Savior can do that. We can rely on their strength and wisdom and help. Christ has promised us that He has already done the suffering for us so, if we accept His gift, we don't have to suffer for ourselves. It's like not needing to wash the dishes because someone else has already done it. But if we don't think they're clean enough or resent someone else doing it or in any way refuse to accept their efforts, then it's as if they hadn't done it. We may choose to go through the work of washing them ourselves. If we can manage to release our troubles to Him, our Savior will carry them- or actually He already has. We just need to be humble enough to acknowledge our weakness and admit our temptation to quit our efforts to be kind or work hard or maintain righteous principles, and ask Him to share the yoke and lighten the burden. Just as our temptations are not physically tangible, the help we receive may not be physically tangible. (Sometimes it can be, like when someone has been prompted to come to our aid through whisperings of the Spirit or been given the strength beyond their own to lift a lawn mower off us like Angela did for Ammon years ago.) Often, the help we receive may feel more like a warmth in our bosom or a light opening in our mind or a general feeling of calm and relief. That is the Savior helping us. Mortality was not meant to be just the opportunity to receive a physical body then joyfully play for as long as our life lasts then be done. This is " a time granted unto man to repent, yea, a probationary time, a time to repent and serve God", a time for us to decide for ourselves who we want to be when we grow up. If we had every trial immediately halted at our first whine, we would not gain the strength and wisdom we need to gain. However, we can ask for help to get through the hard parts and will receive it, but only if we want it and accept it.

Sensitive vs. Tough

     "For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so... righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad." ( 2 Nephi 2:11)
     Many years ago, I had a discussion with my mother. My concern was mostly for my little sister who, I felt, was a bit overly-sensitive. Her feelings were easily hurt. I hoped my mother, who was of a similar temperament, could talk to her to help her avoid feeling so often criticized or unloved. My mother defended the position by saying that she thought it was a good thing to be sensitive. There were people she knew who were insensitive so they weren't aware of other people's feelings. I tried to explain that being easily hurt or offended was not the same sensitivity as being compassionate or aware of the feelings of others. Using Jesus Christ as my example, He was not easily offended. He was not only criticized but was spit upon, mocked, disparaged, misunderstood, and finally crucified. He never indulged in self-pity. In Gethsemane, He meekly offered to let the cup pass from Him if possible but didn't go on and on about how much He was suffering. On the cross, He cried, "Father, why hast thou forsaken me?" But He never complained or accused others of being unfair or unkind towards Him. On the other hand, He was very aware of the needs of those around Him. He has made countless offers to help: Seek and ye shall find, knock and the door shall be opened unto you or Take upon you my yoke for my burden is easy or Pray unto the Father in my name, etc. He suffered what He did in Gethsemane so that He would truly be able to understand any suffering we might endure during mortality. He suffered so that He would know how to succor us. Being sensitive can be a good thing, if using it to look outward rather than inward in self-pity or doubt.
     Some time ago my younger son took it upon himself to try to "toughen up" his younger sister when they were children. He thought it was important for her to be more resilient and confident. His method was to berate and belittle her. Russ has often talked about how, in the fire department, or the Navy, or on a construction site (any macho-type circumstance) the guys traditionally use sarcasm and insults on each other. They're expected to be tough enough to take it. Males tend to also use physical violence to one degree or another to relate to each other. They can give each other a black eye then go bike riding together, the injury forgotten. Again looking to my Savior as an example to follow, I picture Him in the Garden of Gethsemane when His disciples were so anxious to protect and defend Him. Peter lopped off a guy's ear. Jesus? He gently reached out and healed the ear and gently chided Peter. We need to be self-confident. Being physically strong is a good thing in order to do the work we do as a part of mortality, especially so that by our sloth we don't over-burden others. We need to be valiant in enduring to the end rather than wimping out. Being tough can be a good thing, if we use it in acting righteously.
     The challenge for us is to find the balance in what to embrace and what to avoid. We are all different and often find dividing lines between what to do and what not to do in a slightly different range. There is truly opposition in all things here on the Earth. Using our God-given agency to choose for ourselves, we will have different ideas on how to figure out right from wrong and truth from error. Another God-given gift is the Holy Ghost- a member of the God-head sent to help us discern when we let Him do so. And, as corny as it sounds, it sometimes helps to ask ourselves, "What would Jesus do or think or say?"

Analyzing revelation

     Most people love the idea of God giving us information since He is so much more wise and knowledgeable. But He is also loving and encouraging. He has given us free will or agency so we can make our own choices and learn for ourselves. So He has quite a balancing act between helping or guiding us and remaining silent so we can think for ourselves. From what I have read and understand so far, even those designated as prophets are not given ALL information and ALL guidance ALL the time. Most of the time, they are given a hint then encouraged to combine this glimmer of a new idea with what they already know and/or can search out in the writings of other prophets AKA scriptures. It shouldn't be any surprise when He deals with even us lowly everyday people in the same way. When we want to know how He would like us to proceed, He will not lay out a blueprint or time schedule or spreadsheet for us. He points us in a direction with a feeling or idea or words from someone around us, then leaves us to figure out a plan. We need to be humble, willing to be led, prayerful, and willing to listen not just ask without giving Him a chance to reply. Once we have a plan, we go to Him in focused prayer and ask if whatever our plan is would be in accordance with His will and wisdom. If it isn't, we'll feel perplexed and uneasy. If it is, then we'll feel content or excited.
     Okay, I'm aware there are plenty of mortals around who have overactive imaginations or even mental illness. That should not deter us from seeking personal revelation. If we are unsure of our own ability to receive true inspiration from God, we can always ask someone close to the situation that we trust to be willing to listen to the Spirit to pray with us then listen to their feelings. When one of my children was young and really wanted something, I suggested that the two of us go somewhere private and pray together, then listen for a minute or two. I then asked what she thought Heavenly Father's answer was. She was able to tell me the same impression I had. If it works with a child, it can certainly work with an adult.
     God has not closed the Heavens nor is He ignoring anyone. He is letting us make our own choices but He is anxious to help us if what we truly desire is to know what would be BEST, not just what we want using our own worldly lusts or intellects. Sometimes His way is not even on our radar. He knows things we have no way of knowing, other than asking Him. I can testify to anyone who wants to know that God will truly give guidance- not to necessarily to achieve what WE want, but to achieve what would be best. As the all-knowing loving parent that He is, only He knows what would truly be in our best interest.

Stand in Holy Places

     I scanned through old posts and couldn't find this subject so I hope I'm not boring anybody. As the moral stability of the world continues to spiral downward, I have thought a lot about how we can live in the world without being of the world. I have previously expressed the yearning to be with Heavenly Father and Jesus in a place of peace and harmony. We have been warned through prophets that as the time approaches for Jesus Christ to return to the Earth in a form where all mortals will recognize him, there will be wars and rumors of wars, men's hearts shall fail them, evil will be called good and good evil, love will wax cold, and other dire prophecies. As we are surrounded by neighbors, co-workers, even family members who may be deceived by Satan or even just confused as to what is right and wrong, how do we deal with it? We are told to love as He loves. But He also has told us, "my disciples shall stand in holy places, and shall not be moved". When Christ was on the Earth, he was often criticized for the company he kept. He explained that , "the well hath no need of a physician". He has also said that we should do as he did, follow Him in doing good works. So, how do we hang out with sinners yet stand in holy places and follow Christ in doing good yet remain unpolluted from the world? I thought about Him and how he managed to socialize and do good works among sinners. As in the story of the Good Samaritan, we are not to simply walk by, ignoring the plight of those around us. We also know that we will be judged according to how we judge others and that we are not to judge unrighteously. So even when we are aware that someone is in a bad position by their own choice, we are not to judge them unrighteously. Yet, we cannot support evil in any form and we know that God cannot tolerate evil in any form. So when are we supporting and when are we judging? When are we eschewing evil and when are we being self-righteous? Birds of a feather flock together so how can we be a good influence on those who are confused or misled yet stick with those who are living Christian standards? I don't know. But I have some ideas.
     First of all, I think the adage "love the sinner, hate the sin" has some value. We can scold a child for punching his sibling yet easily continue loving that child. We can recognize that physical sexual relations outside the bounds the Lord has set through the words of prophets is a sin, but continue to love a child or friend who is making choices outside those bounds. Jesus did NOT say to the woman taken in sin- it's all okay. I don't have a problem with your choices.- He said, "Neither do I condemn thee. Go thy way and sin no more." We don't really have the authority to speak in exactly that way, telling someone to go their way and sin no more. However, I think it's clear that we can let that person know we don't agree with or approve of what they're doing, but we still love them and not in a condescending way. We will continue to interact with them recognizing they have value just as we all do despite our sins.
     Secondly, standing in holy places is not limited to major geographical locations. We don't have to be in the Holy Land, or in the temple or in church. Our homes can be holy places. But mostly, just as we are considered "temples" by God, we can make ourselves holy places. Most people have experienced the feeling of being alone in a crowd. No matter where we are, if we are striving to obey the commandments, overcome the natural man who is an enemy to God, and follow the Savior, we are a holy place. If we can work at guiding our thoughts to remain pure enough to receive the guidance of the Holy Ghost, we are a holy place. We don't have to hate even when surrounded by hatred. We don't have to be angry even when surrounded by anger. We don't have to follow any crowd. That is a choice we make, which leads me to my final point for this blog.
     We make our own choices, even when we are choosing a herd mentality. When we follow the crowd, we are letting someone else dictate what our thoughts or actions should be. That is true of WHATEVER the crowd is doing. We need to decide independently what we want to do or think. It's not a good idea to decide anything in order to follow a crowd, even when the crowd is doing good things. If we are weak enough to require peer pressure, we will end up doing whatever those around us are doing at the moment which may be good at one moment but not so good at another. We need to study, pray, ponder, and seek for the wisdom to know what to do and the strength to do it. Righteousness is NOT determined by popular vote. When we are confident in a choice, we have the opportunity to be a leader, or at least an influence. So it's important that we make our own good choices, not based on others' opinions, then stand in that holy place and let our light shine!

Traditions

     In Fiddler on the Roof, there is a song about "Tradition" referring to questions about why the village does things the way they do. The most well-known tradition in our family is having popcorn and ice cream for Sunday night supper. I asked my father's mother long ago where the tradition started. Not surprisingly, as in most "traditions", she didn't know. So in  our family, the McKinney/Bowker/Fellows family, we have been having popcorn and ice cream for Sunday night supper for at least 6 generations. It was just a generation or two before that the family ancestors were in Ireland. Today, each group of the family has embraced some traditions of their own. One that our eldest son and daughter-in-law began more than a decade ago is building elaborate gingerbread sculptures each year. The point isn't to have a professionally perfect result, although they are always beautiful. It's a delightful experience that every member of the family can participate in. Russ and I have been privileged to help with three sculptures so far. The first one was in 2006, built in Vilnius, Lithuania. It was a Christmas train so we each got to decorate a car.

The next one we helped with was in Berlin, Germany, in 2009. I don't remember what the building was modeled after. This is our grandson, Jarom.

This year we participated in decorating the Mausoleum at Halicarnassus, one of the original Seven Wonders of the World. The idea came from the young man in the above photo, currently a BYU student. He also worked out the dimensions for this gingerbread reproduction.

As Russ pointed out, family traditions are nice because they can set us apart from everybody around us. Sometimes that can be a negative thing but sometimes it's just nice. Most families aren't usually trying to be better than anyone else when holding to family traditions. I'm sure that there are times when a tradition becomes a device to generate feelings of superiority which encourages prejudice against other people. In our case, these we lovingly invite others to participate so the family tradition becomes a means of opening our hearts and lives to those around us.