There are advantages..

I showed this smaller gold limousine on a blogspot about a month or so ago. Most of the time it is parked near the home of Russ's business partner. Recently Russ had to do some repair work on it so we had it here and didn't have our old Dodge to drive. Our oldest grandson invited us to attend his graduation from middle school so we "had" to go in this car.

After the graduation ceremony, Tanis invited his best friend to ride along to get some ice cream. It was truly a delight to see them wave and yell through open windows to friends who gaped at them riding in a limousine. Popularity is such an important issue in the teen years. So the kids were impressed and Tanis and Ammon (his friend) gained at least one popularity point. I'm sure that if pressed for information, Tanis would admit that the limousine is owned by his grandfather who has a chauffeur business. But just getting to ride in it is worth a little envy.

Outdoor after and before

I can never remember what order the blogspot takes pictures in so invariably I download them in the wrong order for what I actually want and I'm too impatient to do it all again. So this is a photo of the south side of our lawn beside our driveway now, after clearing the brush and litter and planting grass.This was a year ago during one of our lovely family work parties. Our family has been incredibly helpful in this project that hasn't gone quite the way we expected. We couldn't have done it alone.

At the end of the driveway, we found these long stone blocks buried underneath years of accumulated roots and debris. The end of the driveway used to form a lake whenever it rained. We have dug down so the water is channeled away and can run off rather than building up. I planted tall flowers here but they haven't had time to grow yet.

I don't have a really good "before" picture of the end of the driveway. This was just after we had a load of gravel delivered that we spread in the floor of the garage and made a parking pad off the end of the driveway. The vegetation had grown in from the end of the driveway to nearly halfway up to the first door of the garage. It's looking likely that we'll be here through this summer and who knows how much longer??

It's good

We recently got together at the terHorst home in Cincinnati to celebrate Jarin's birthday. He's looking pretty sober in this photo but I think he had a good time like everybody else did. My reason for posting this picture as well as the next one is to show Victoria. This young woman has been through some pretty rough times. In the past year she has been struggling to re-define herself as a widow and full-time college student. She has continued to maintain her responsibilities to care for her three children in sickness, health, disobedience, sorrow and all that goes with being a mom. She has continued to develop her faith through service in her Church calling as well as what she tries to do with what little time she has to offer others. She has lost weight, re-organized her eating and exercising habits. She has made the dean's list at school by studying and diligently doing homework and papers.

She has dealt with a lot of frustrations and hardships but we couldn't be any prouder of her than if she had been born our daughter. It is so good to see her smile. Isn't she beautiful?

Russ and I have been truly blessed beyond measure to have wonderful children who chose wonderful spouses and have borne wonderful children to be our grandchildren.

More Dayton experiences

Russ and I fully admit that we are not city people. There are those who find the "hustle and bustle" of city life exciting. I prefer cows grazing in fields. In addition to disliking heavy traffic, standing in lines and feeling more like a number than a person, it has been disconcerting to have news items so close to home. I scanned a map from the newspaper but I couldn't get it to download onto the blogspot. It showed the locations of about a half dozen gang-related homicides that have occurred within the past month and a half or so. They were all within an uncomfortable proximity to our house. In fact, our house was directly under the "flag" that marked one of them. Russ and I go for walks every day that the weather and our schedule permits. Depending on the route we choose, we walk right by the balloons, teddy bears and other memorabilia tied to the pole of the basketball hoop where a teenaged boy was shot in broad daylight. We haven't really focused on fear. We go about our life and hope we can be a "light in the darkness" to encourage people to live as reasonable human beings. A couple of days ago, we met a friend at our bank which is several blocks from our house. He called us right after we had left the bank to tell us that the bank had been robbed as we were getting ready to drive away. One of the sweet female tellers that waited on him was in tears but trying to go ahead with business. What is it about cities that either attracts or evokes this kind of behavior? I know people get killed and banks get robbed in small towns, too. But I would be willing to bet that if someone did a study adding up enough country area to equal the population of a big city, the crime rate in the city would still be higher in comparison. I guess criminals like the greater variety of choices in a smaller area to commit their particular crime....? I still say, I am really looking forward to a government run by the Prince of Peace with all of the citizens agreed on obeying the laws, at least for the first thousand years. After that, we all get to choose again. I can't imagine wanting to live any way but in peace, harmony, and love. But I guess there are others who prefer the greed, lust, and competition.

Wow!

I was amazed when I looked at the date I last entered a blogspot. My life has been a nonstop rat race. I never noticed how much time has gone by. I have had thoughts, ideas, feelings, but I haven't been taking any pictures. The very most recent "busyness" was my attendance (and being a team member) at a "Time Out for Women" held Friday night and Saturday in the Cincinnati area. It was kind of a mini-conference to strengthen, uplift, and encourage women. There were talks and musical presentations. When I started telling people about it (pre-event advertising was part of my job as a team member) I ran into some cynicism. Since it is sponsored by a for-profit business, some people felt it was just a way to make money. Having never been to one, I must admit I wondered. It can be hard to discern in this very plastic world what is real. I actually know of people who have a hard time maintaining the line between reality and reality tv! That seems to happen for people especially between the ages of 12 (or so) and 30 (or so). Now, according to scientific research, we are supposed to begin determining the difference between real and pretend (or truth and lies) around the age of 6 or in first grade. Up until then, Superman can be considered just as likely to rescue someone as the fireman who lives next door. We are so much into entertainment that most people can name who stars in what movie or tv show more easily than they can name who our Secretary of State or the political leader of Mexico or Canada is.
So I went to this conference trying to keep an open mind but looking carefully for hyped up stories orchestrated to increase financial profits. After attending and meeting the presenters in person, I can say this was not simply a commercial endeavor. The people who sang, played instruments, spoke, told jokes, were real. They have had real experiences, have real hopes, real disappointments in their real lives, just like the nearly 1500 women who attended. People who choose to be entertainers can get applause to feed their egos and wealth to fill their pockets, but they can also choose to be sincere in living their lives honestly and wanting to use their talent to nourish, uplift, encourage, and benefit others. Entertainers can be smiling facades hiding desperation for approval. Politicians can be liars grasping for fame and fortune. Even religious leaders can be self-righteous hypocrites manipulating others for their own personal gratification and lust for power. So, how do we know who to believe? Can we trust history books? Can we trust the "news" reporters? Can we even trust Snopes?!
"By their fruits ye shall know them." We can see what the ultimate goal of each person is and determine what their sincere desire is. Plus, we are all born with the light of Christ. People call that a conscience- that innate sense of right and wrong that we learn how to interpret after we have started learning what's real and what's pretend. Sometimes we have difficulty because we see what we want to see. The abused wife really wants to believe her husband is going to change. The star-struck fan really wants to believe their idol is as wonderful as they appear. The best way I can think of to determine what's real is to be real ourselves. If we tend to put on appearances to impress others, we will automatically assume others do that, too. If we are willing to admit our flaws so we understand the weakness that causes them, we can see it better in others. But I hope I never become really cynical. I still prefer to look for the best in people- not to put them on a pedestal, but to encourage them to be as wonderful as they want to be. Being really wonderful does not involve plastic surgery, expensive clothes, jewelry, vehicles, houses, or tattoos. Those are all artificial. They have nothing to do with who we really are, except maybe vain and greedy. Listening sympathetically without having to constantly interrupt to tell our own even better story- that's wonderful. Being willing to really reach out to help others even if it means getting spit-up on your clothes or being late to an appointment- that's wonderful. Being willing to let someone else, or even encourage someone else, to be in the spotlight while you remain in the background- that's wonderful. Being honest about faults and honestly strive to overcome weaknesses- that's wonderful. I have been blessed in my life to know a lot of wonderful people. When I am gone, I want to be remembered as a truly good person no matter what my dress size, hairstyle, career resume, or list of accomplishments.

Why I miss Utah

I was born and raised in upstate NY where there is water everywhere in the form of streams, lakes, rivers, and even ponds and swamps. When we moved to Utah in 1997, it was difficult to get used to having to water everything growing that you didn't want to die. What I DIDN'T have difficulty getting used to was the people. It was heart-warming to have receptionists smile genuinely, to have waiters and waitresses not just tolerate children but be really nice to them. It was awesome having a whole neighborhood of people we hadn't even gotten to meet yet at our new house lined up to help us move in. It was satisfying seeing mothers and fathers enjoying being with their children and even seeing teenagers being pleasant to younger children. I loved being within sight of a temple with churches on nearly every corner where you could attend any service and never hear anyone criticize other religions.
I don't want to say that Utah is perfect by any means! I also don't want to say that there are no good people in other places or even that only Mormons are good people. What I DO want to say is that a predominant religion that teaches following the example of Jesus Christ has a very pleasant effect on society.
Here in Dayton, our first exposure to neighbors was people coming up to us when we were working outside our house and asking for a hand-out. We have lived here for 2 years and, despite trying to be pleasant and trying to strike up conversations with neighbors, we only know a couple of first names of people surrounding us. I am getting really weary of the reports of killings, child abuse, drunkenness, drug use, gangs, and requests for more government money in the news. I am tired of the endless litter and destruction of property all around us. I am tired of crazy, rude drivers. I get regular headaches from the obnoxiously loud, booming car stereos that shake my house and rattle my windows, LITERALLY!
I joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in 1974 and have never regretted the complete change in lifestyle. I don't know if there is anybody reading this. I don't know if there is anyone who isn't LDS (or ACTIVE LDS) reading this. If there is, I would highly recommend that if you want peace, look into the teachings of Christ. Look beyond the Ten Commandments and the Beatitudes. Consider giving up the things of the world that really bring more sorrow and discord than pleasure. We all have the opportunity to choose...... to choose what kind of people we want to be and that gets extended to what kind of people we want to spend eternity with. Do you want to spend eternity working at TOLERATING those around you, or do you want to have people around that are loving because you are loving and you can just share the peace and happiness that brings? I know what I choose.

Waxing philosophical again

Many people think of God as a distant, judgemental being who is difficult to please. They dread "being good enough" and often feel it's unfair to expect so much of us. I was pondering what it must be like for God to deal with us. I really love my grandchildren, probably only a fraction of what God loves us. The things I love most about them are their energy, their happy smiles, their eagerness to learn, and their sincerity. What I find exhausting in dealing with them is their rebelliousness, their sometimes unwillingness to think of anyone but themselves, their tantrums, and their constant needs. I think we are like that for our Heavenly Father. If we are to have a truly celestial, peaceful existence for a very, very long time, I think we have to be different than we are right now. Much as I love children, it is less demanding on me to be with adults who do their fair share of the work WILLINGLY, who try to be independent about dealing with their own problems WITHOUT CONSTANT WHINING AND COMPLAINING, and are willing to converse at a peaceful, intelligent level. This is not about criticizing children. After all, I started out that way, too! This is about what is fair to expect of ourselves. This is about recognizing the true nature of God. He wants us to be able to be happy together, not like the squabbling, complaining creatures we are now. If we can't be honest, compassionate, helpful, willing to do our share of the work, and willing to be humble enough to keep learning.......... how could we ever stand to be together for eternity?!