No Pictures, just questions

I have been having discussions lately that have caused me to wonder how to determine righteous actions. There are scriptures to back up the various elements of this struggle. I don't know how many people actually read my blog these days but I invite any and all comments and opinions. God has promised that if we serve Him, he will protect this country. He promised a similar thing to the children of Israel but they "went a-whoring" after "other gods". This country was established by men who believed in God and assumed that, although the government would never establish a religion, it would also not prohibit religion. Is that a fair statement? This country is not only a land of freedom because God wanted it so, but also by the laws of the land, written by men. At what point are we jeopardizing God's protection in allowing individual freedoms? There are people who say they don't believe a human being is a separate entity until they can survive outside of the womb. With medical intervention, that has gotten pretty early but certainly not as soon as conception. I believe abortion is wrong, except possibly in instances of serious endangerment to the mother or rape. I would not want to support a public policy to allow people who would have abortions as a method of "birth control". Is that infringing on an individual's right according to the laws of the land? I know for certain that God would not want any of His children to agree to it in that way. But how do we "separate" morality from worldly politics? Can I maintain my moral standards if I say something like, "I would never do that or feel that it is right for others to do it but I would not want a law prohibiting it"...? What about homosexuality? I believe God created two genders because they are supposed to be able to mate, create children, and support each other emotionally, financially, and morally. Do I have the "right" to prohibit someone else from making what I consider an immoral choice if it doesn't have a direct negative affect, other than offending my moral sense? If I try to take a stance in opposition to gay marriage, I am labelled a bigot. Do I not have a right to find something that is against my moral standards to be offensive? I would not want to find people having intercourse whenever or wherever they want, whether or not they are both "consenting adults". Do I have a right to believe in obscenity laws? I am grateful that someone several years ago set up a rating system for movies. The standards seem to be slipping a bit but there is still a warning available to those who would find elements of an R-rated movie offensive so they can avoid it. I guess people justify car seatbelt laws by the cost of insurance going up for everyone when people get more injured than they might have had they been wearing a seat belt. There isn't really anything like insurance costs for immoral behavior- using foul language, sexual behavior, lying to people if it doesn't happen to involve government issues or money. I would venture to say that the cost is there but not easily measured. I think the cost is the quality of society. I think that when people hold a higher moral standard, the society prospers in many ways. There is something deep inside human beings that answers to a higher call. When people avoid cursing, they not only seem more intelligent, but they act more pleasant to others. When people keep sex within boundaries of privacy between a married man and wife, society better comprehends and can embrace the relationship. The family is a stable element of the larger society. When people honor and respect others by having integrity, society benefits.
What do you think?

Another family event

This is Jennica Lynn terHorst in her lovely blessing gown that was worn several years ago by her sister, Janna. The members of the family that lived close enough to Cincinnati gathered last Sunday for her blessing at church. I wish I could have taken a picture in church because it is always an awesome sight to see a group of large men (especially Jennica's father) holding a tiny infant, slightly more tenderly than they would hold a football.

I loved looking around the chapel to see members of the family all inter-mixing. There are a few of us who live fairly near each other- temporarily. But it's so comforting to know that children are perfectly happy to sit with older cousins and babies can be well-cared for by aunts and uncles. The children performed in the primary program with everyone remembering their lines and one of the older children played a descant on her flute. Victoria played the piano for the whole program. The photo below was at the terHorst home where we gathered after church for a meal. Brooklyn has now been replaced as the tiniest member of the family. She doesn't seem to mind at all. In fact, she was quite sweet to her cousin, even when her mother was holding her!
I'm so grateful that God gave us the opportunity to be in families so we can learn deep, unconditional love. We can feel security and learn how to serve others. I am grateful that my family is not one of the ones in the world that is being torn apart by long-held grudges or rebellious paths of "alternate lifestyles" that create gulfs between members' standards. Sure, we have our differences. But for the most part, we get along pretty well.

The loves of my life

Despite some aspects of my current life that are troubling, I derive incredible joy from my family. None of us are perfect by any means. We certainly have weaknesses and faults. But my family is a wonderful collection of loving, kind, honest, helpful people. Recently we got together with Angela and her boys for one of my "taste-it-try-it" dinners. I choose a few different recipes and food items that the kids have likely never tried in an effort to "expand their horizons". After dinner Russ showed some slides and told some stories of his childhood. Then we became a campaign headquarters for Joshua as we prepared posters and other materials to boost him in his bid for student council treasurer. (He didn't win despite our awesome efforts. He will probably be his class representative like he was last year.) We also helped Martin with some social studies homework. For a birthday present to Russ and me (our birthdays are close together in October), Angela got tickets for us to ride the "Pumpkin Express" out of Lebanon, Ohio. It was the first time riding on a train for Victoria and her kids as they came along, too. Russ and I have ridden on trains before but we enjoy it! We rode to a nearby farm that had some animals to see and pet, a pumpkin patch where you make a choice to take home, and a corn maze. Russ and I took Kadon and Brooklyn through the corn maze. Since this area has tallied up twice the normal rainfall for the month so far, it was pretty muddy. We made it almost all the way to getting out again before Brooklyn took her first face-plant in the slippery goo. I had been trying to hold her hand. But, for anyone who knows 2-year olds, they don't ever want help. Each time I would grab her hand, she would reach over with her other hand and disattach me. There was no place there to clean up so she ended up pretty brown from head to toe for the ride home.

On October 5, the day after Brooklyn's birthday, our 16th grandchild was born- a little early but mother and baby were just fine. Jennica was a little over 6 pounds and in quite a rush to be delivered. Her dad, John, was in California doing his pilot thing but grabbed the first possible jumpseat home to arrive later in the day. It always amazes me to look at miniature fingers, toes, ears, noses, and everything that function so well! Russ and I spent a couple of days at John and Janice's home where I did some chauffeuring of busy teenagers, cleaning and organizing and Russ helped John put in a new tile floor and toilet in the bathroom.

Birthdays and New Year Days seem to cause reflection and a review of one's life so far. I like to think I am more like a fine wine- improving with age- rather then an old garment- worn out. I like to think I am more patient, more forgiving, more understanding. I am more tolerant of people who are different from me except when it comes to choices that are destructive. I still need to learn how to watch people hurt themselves and others, by their own choices!, without wanting to step in and stop them or give advice that is unrequested and unwanted. Each generation seems to have to learn for themselves. We just keep having to clean up the messes over and over again. How does God stand watching us?!!

Highs and Lows

Recently it feels like we are riding an emotional rollercoaster. We have been riding high on some really wonderful things and dipping low with bad news. I thought I left this behind once I passed the teenage years with the wide swings of hormones! We have continued to feel frustrated by some of the people here in Dayton that just seem to have a selfish, inconsiderate way of life. We just received really sad news of a family we knew well in a place we lived previously. Due mostly to drugs, illegal ones and prescription ones not taken properly, a violent death and all the agony surrounding it has occurred to a good family. It has shocked the community and all those who have lived there.
On the high side, last night we got to see a live David Copperfield performance of amazing magic here in Dayton. The tickets were more expensive than the arts we were so privileged to enjoy back in NY or in Utah, but the entertainment was exciting! And that came at the end of a weekend of uplifting, reassuring, comforting talks by our church leaders. General Conference is a wonderful opportunity to be reminded of how good it could be and will be someday for those who choose to follow Christ. Why would anyone be content to live with dishonest people who steal, rape, murder, cheat, and destroy other people's lives? I don't understand why everyone doesn't rush to live the Golden Rule so they treat others as they would want to be treated thus creating a society where you can trust everybody! Is it really so difficult to be "good"? Every mortal has a conscience. Every human being knows when they are being mean or dishonest or even just lazy and inconsiderate. Why is that the default mode of living? Why would anyone purposely choose to be that kind of person rather than exercising self-control enough to avoid hurting others- Or at least feel sorry enough to apologize after a weak moment and determine not to treat people that way anymore because they would not want to be treated that way by others? Are we to live in kindergarten forever with the self-centered grabbing and insulting reactions to others? I am truly grateful that I live in an age when I can hear, and later read, the words of good people who are encouraging me to keep striving for a more pleasant civilization. Power to the good!!!

It is like a mission

I know I have said it before, but it truly is like serving a mission living here in Dayton. Today I spoke for awhile with the security guard who sits in the parking lot of the building where we hold church every Sunday morning. I would think that at my age I would be fairly aware of things that go on in the world, sometimes really awful things that people do. Somehow it has mostly seemed pretty distant to my everyday life. This man has been in jail and has a cousin who is currently serving time in prison. He was telling me about how his cousin has been repeatedly abused by other prisoners to the point that he reacts to people around him much as my brother reacted to people after returning home from Viet Nam. If he has anyone unexpectedly behind him, he is quick to whirl around preparing to defend himself. Most members of our church here are dealing with addiction problems, either recovering themselves or trying to help family members. Violence, drugs, alcohol, abuse of children, rape, all of the things I have thought of as being part of R or even X rated movies are a part of life here. I have never read the paper without a report of at least 2 murders in the area. I often wonder how the police here can refrain from becoming pretty cynical about mankind in general.
The members of the church here are good-hearted for the most part. If it weren't for the church welfare system which provides food, I would probably be serving many of them in a soup kitchen. Even those who have been members for many years have about as much doctrinal understanding as younger primary children in other places. Occasionally I try to describe what it's like to live among large groups of Latter-Day Saints. I try to help them understand that there really are people who are honest, willing to help, serve diligently and dependably in church callings, pray regularly in private as well as public, and just live clean lives. I try to explain activities for children that are fun yet educational and uplifiting. I try to explain having large groups of people that are smiling, friendly, kind, and caring. Most of these people just haven't experienced that. I wish I could transport them to the ward we lived in when we lived in Utah, even for a day. They would probably feel out of place at first because the people there are cleaner and better educated. I don't mean they are all college-educated or high class. They just have a pleasant countenance. They speak with confidence stemming from knowing who they are. I really can't tell if I'm having an affect here. I want so badly for them to know they are loved children of a Heavenly Father. He wants them to develop their potential and feel happy and confident. They hear wonderful things at church then go home to scary neighborhoods and cluttered often dirty homes. I pray I can lift them enough to motivate them to make their homes islands of peace and accomplishment. All it costs is soap and energy. If they could just hang on to the determination to overcome all that is dragging them down. All I can do is keep trying.... be patient......keep loving them.

Thoughts on sacrifice

Getting philosophical again, I have wondering about sacrifice- specifically how much is too much? Without getting out a dictionary, I think sacrifice means basically giving up something you value, usually for what you might deem a "higher purpose". In the Old Testament of the Bible, Abraham was asked by the Lord to prepare to sacrifice his son. He had waited a long time for this son and Isaac was really important to him. However, Abraham loved the Lord and trusted that He loved him enough that he would not ask of him anything that was totally unreasonable or unfair. So he took his son up on a mountain and prepared to offer him. We could just dismiss the whole story as a parable without any basis in fact and I suppose there are many people who feel that way about it. It brings up the concept of what it means to "have faith" in God. It means a whole lot more than simply believing He exists. It means believing He knows us, cares about us, and that we can trust Him completely. He is more powerful than we mortals so there are some who may feel that we don't have any choice but to trust Him; He can do whatever He wants and we are powerless to stop Him. That's another element of trust in Him. Is He really wiser than we are? I know there were lots of times when I doubted the wisdom of my parents, teachers and other older people in my life. We tend to be reluctant to relinquish our power of choice when we don't completely trust someone else. I would have a hard time trusting my husband to choose what shirt I should wear with a certain skirt or pair of pants. On the other hand, I would probably not worry about letting him choose what food item to order for me at a fast food place. He knows what I like and he knows my digestive problems. He loves me and would not want me to suffer needlessly.
I think it's really hard when something doesn't work out quite like we thought it might or even hoped it would, to completely relax and TRUST that God knows better than we do. At the time Russ didn't get a job we tried hard for him to get, we were disappointed and had no idea that a better job- even the perfect job for him was opening up in the not-too-distant future. Sometimes we can see that there is an even better plan. But sometimes, we don't get to see, in this life, how much better things worked out than they might have. Sometimes in our independence and defiance, we want to say, "NO! I don't want it this way! I want it MY WAY!" Do you know what? We can't have it that way. We can't control the weather. We can't control anything other people do, short of holding a gun to their heads to demand something and even then, they may be more insistent than we are. We can't make the sun come up sooner or go down later. Much as we like to think, and often act, otherwise, we really can't control anything but our own thoughts and actions. God can control the weather- because he knows a lot more than we do about how that is done. God can't, or rather won't make people do things. So when we make a choice to help a stranger, hug a crying child, avoid a fight, or put in extra hours serving others, we are giving God the only thing we truly can have sole control over- our will to think and act. Sometimes it feels like we have done enough for others. We have folded enough laundry, we have moved enough furniture, we have lifted enough burdens, and on and on. Abraham was willing to put his son on a pile of rocks and offer him as a sacrifice. God had given him that son in the first place. We don't really own anything- except for our thoughts and actions. That is all we have to give to God and that is what He most wants. Because that is how we show Him we trust Him. That is how we "prove" that we love Him enough to do whatever it takes to learn to be like Him enough to be worthy to dwell in His presence.
When I get tired of doing things for others, I hope I can remember all this. I know it's true, but sometimes I get tired and I forget.

Alligator, Budokon, and swimming at the Y

The nearly two-week trip I recently took to Florida included visits to my sister in Louisiana as well as my sister in Alabama. Once Lisa was safely recovered from the swine flu, she was quick to encourage me to go ahead and make the drive to visit Deedie. It was a six-hour drive there, one full day to visit, and a six-hour drive back to Lisa's but it was definitely worth it! The first evening when I arrived, Deedie and I feasted on shrimp (that her husband Mike had caught or netted or whatever they call it with a friend that does it for a living) and vegetables and dip. It was my first time seeing the home she has lived in for over a year. In the morning we went for a walk, did yoga, had a quiet breakfast and talked and talked and talked. I mean, I love my children and grandchildren but the chance to just converse with another adult that you love and know they love you is just wonderful! That evening, Deedie and Mike took me to a local restaurant where I had alligator, frogs' legs, catfish, stuffed shrimp, and enjoyed it thoroughly! It worked out well that Russ hadn't come along because he wouldn't have enjoyed it at all. Before leaving the next morning, Deedie and I went for a walk again and she introduced me to "budokon" which is a combination of yoga, martial arts, and meditation. We mostly did the yoga part because of the time involved. I'm still the largest of my sisters but I'm not TOTALLY out of shape. When I got back to Lisa's, she was feeling much better and we proceeded to have a birthday celebration for 2-year old Elliette. In this photo, you can see the tami-flu prescriptions that apparently worked because neither of Lisa's two kids got sick.

While at Lisa's, I enjoyed walks- even though it meant getting really hot and sweaty- as well as swimming at the Y. For a girl that never really like physical education, Lisa is in really good shape. She runs, swims, and bikes like an athlete.

I'm so glad I have been able to be with my grandchildren at least often enough that they are comfortable with me. Knowing that our circumstances would cause great geographical distances between family members, I have tried hard to never be a stranger to my grandchildren. I love it when they climb up on the couch to "read with me", or run to give me a hug when I arrive, or want me to pick them up or to sit on my lap. It's good to feel loved.
I'm also glad that I can enjoy being active with my family members. We all enjoy good food but we also enjoy physical activities. (I walked around my sister Carol's yard with her then we had vanilla ice cream with maple syrup and walnuts. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm!)