This photo could be entitled a picture of fear. We know a man here in Dayton who had been feeling ill for quite awhile. He started losing weight at an alarming rate and had no appetite. A doctor told him he had a tumor that needed to be removed. He was reluctant to trust the doctor. He had had surgery about 10 years ago and he swore that the doctors had "left something inside him" so he didn't want to have surgery again. After considerable prodding from people all around him, he finally went in for the surgery. This is the result: a 9-pound tumor.
Pretty gory, huh? He's doing really well now. I wonder what he thinks about all the fears he had. I recently caught part of a show on television that featured a panel of doctors to address people's concerns. I thought it would be interesting so I started to watch. A woman had written in previously that she had an "embarassing problem" and wanted to know what to do. They said it was a fairly common problem so they had decided to bring the woman into the studio audience and treat her right on the stage. Her "problem" was that she was ashamed of her hands. The veins and tendons "stuck out too much". They showed a close-up of her hands. They looked like mine! I have never thought of my hands as something I needed to hide, as she does. My grandmother, my mother, and lots of people I know have hands that show age by having the skin looser and the veins more prominent. They treated her by injecting some kind of substance under the skin to puff up the skin more. I was just stunned. She was actually
afraid of what people
might think of HER HANDS!?!
Nearly a hundred years ago, people were horrified as they heard of people committing suicide as the nation headed into the Great Depression. The economy is pretty scary right now. So far, most people seem to be reacting to the fear of bad economic times by slowing or even stopping unnecessary spending. That seems like a more reasonable reaction. However, having said that, I know that having people shop less will have a heavy impact on the retail industry- as well as restaurants and other consumer businesses.
This has all led me to ponder fear. Why do we feel it? When can it be helpful or is it ever helpful? I think our reaction to it is what counts. If we put off medical treatment out of fear, it's not going to help. On the other hand, if we fear other people's opinions to the point that our vanity overshadows reason so we seek medical help in the form of expensive cosmetic surgery or procedures, I think the reaction could be harmful. Surgery for any reason carries risks. When we risk our life to "go under the surgeon's knife", there should be a sound medical reason for it, not just vanity that says we should have some specific proportion to our features. It is admittedly rare, but botox injections and "plastic surgery" have been know to go awry causing greater disfiguring and health problems than before the procedure, even death.
When the news looks bleak: wars, extreme weather and the resulting destruction, the economy, politics, how do we react? Most of the time there is very little we can do to change those major types of things. It's natural for many people to react with hopelessness and a desire to just "end it all". The problem with that is, it ends it for the person who dies (at least the mortal ending) but those who are left are now devastated. So what should they do? Follow suit? Until everybody is gone? Is that the answer?
Everybody has to decide for themselves how to react to fear when it comes. The God who made this world and everything in it MUST have had a higher purpose for mortality than just living until we reach that "OH NO!" state and quit. Being paralyzed by fear is a very common reaction. Paralysis can also have devastating results. (Such as when facing an oncoming train...) I think the best logical reaction is to first acknowledge the fear. There is no point in pretending that you aren't afraid. Then analyze why you are afraid (unless, like the oncoming train, it's obvious and you don't have time for analysis). Get down to the real root of your fear. If it's lack of trust (as in the tumor issue of trusting doctors), is it founded on actual experience or simply fears and rumors? If it's vanity, will the change you're pursuing actually remove your fears of what other people think or will it just move to some other issue? If it's something you can't change by yourself (like war, tornadoes, etc.), what CAN you do? You can reach out to comfort others so neither of you have to feel alone. Sometimes the best you can do is continue your day-to-day activities and be patient. Wait for better times; for the storm to pass. You can try to make yourself the most peaceful person you can be so you don't cause the very basic feelings that underly the justification of dominating or killing other people. We all have limited knowledge and abilities, but, collectively, we can accomplish quite a lot. If we work with others rather than compete, discuss rather than criticize, try to understand rather than accuse, I think we can manage our fears much better. The end result could actually be a much more pleasant world.
Jeremy is very intelligent. He will be able to be whatever he decides he wants to be. Sometimes his cleverness can be frustrating to anyone who is responsible for him. He is very much like his father in that way. But Victoria is persistently requiring responsibility of him. Since Ammon's death, he has become "the man of the house". In Jeremy's case, that is a good thing. Jeremy likes to do adult things, despite his tender age of 6. Victoria asks him to retrieve something or help his siblings, and, for the most part, he does it. His prayers are very real and appropriate.
Martin is now 10 years old. This picture of him with his dog, Mystic, is a little small because Angela e-mailed it to us and I haven't "fixed" it, if I even can. Recently when we were at their house, Martin plopped down on the couch next to me with a Scripture Reader and announced he was going to read to me. I was a little surprised and asked why he wanted to do that. He simply said, "Because I want to play the computer". Angela has made a rule that when the children want to play on the computer, they have to read scriptures first. For now, the scripture reading may be just a means to an end. But some of what they read is bound to get through to them and be an influence in their lives. What a great way to start a good habit!
Louisa had her 6th birthday party when she was here this past summer. Susanne painstakingly helped her to write thank-you notes to all who came and gave her gifts. Susanne encourages her children to write thank-you notes and express gratitude and concern verbally or written to everyone in their sphere of influence. James regularly read scriptures to all of the children.
Aaron is a very agile, clever, but sweet boy. He is passionate in loving others and I love his exhuberant hugs. Lisa has taught him to say "Yes, ma'am" or "Yes, sir" and to use all the appropriate polite language, please, thank you, etc. Simply saying the right thing often puts him in the proper attitude of respect toward others, especially authority figures. He watches out for his baby sister and even tries to "take care of" his mother, an opportunity he has had a lot with his father's frequent prolonged deployments. 
I am so grateful, and very proud, for the way my children are raising their children. I am reminded of the quote in the book of Proverbs- "Train up a child in the way they should go and when they are old they will not depart from it." I'm sure there are days in each of these families when the parents wonder if the children are ever going to "get it"! But they are certainly being taught the right things and, for the most part, they are really pleasant to be around. Thank you to all my children for being persistent in teaching good things to my posterity.
