Another fun Midwestern USA festival!

Most of our mission is about being in the temple. I have already posted about all the pictures related to it that I can or that anyone would be interested in. Here along the Mississippi, we are enjoying the small-town events available whenever possible. This evening, we went to Montrose, Iowa which is directly across the river from Nauvoo. It would be a fast trip if we had a motorboat! This time, instead of all the free sweetcorn you can eat, they offered all the free watermelon you could eat.

Russ and I had no problem enjoying several pieces of the sweet, juicy fruit. Of course, it helped that we hadn't eaten since lunch so we were reasonably hungry. There were long tables set up loaded with chunks of fruit prepared by a couple of people with large machetes who just whacked up pieces. Fortunately, they offered plastic forks. Unfortunately, they had no napkins or other way to clean up afterward. There were rows of picnic table to sit at or tables made by boards placed on top of barrels that you could stand at. They were all covered with plastic which was periodically cleaned off by someone with a windshield type squeegee who would swipe the seeds and juice into a bucket. You'd think they would get a bumper crop of watermelons from the seeds that end up on the ground!

 It's basically a carnival atmosphere with rides, games, and carnival type food. Along with the watermelon we treated ourselves to a couple of funnel cakes. This one had cinnamon as well as powdered sugar sprinkled on it. Fruit and grain- not a totally unhealthy meal- I guess......
The watermelon line forms along the building with the watermelon painted on it, behind the tents for selling kettlecorn (on the right), information about the Republicans (there isn't much Democrat presence in this farming area) and an unidentified organization raffling off a fancy rifle that Russ admired.

I must say, these pictures of me are not flattering. I sure am growing old. Oh well..............

Still trying to figure it out

     A couple of posts back I commented on long-term marriages. I have long pondered tactics necessary to carry on long-term relationships between any 2 or more people. We are all so different. Even if we are from the same country, have the same political leanings, from the same size village or city, from the same family background, we will have differences. The temple matron was showing me a picture of her newest grandchildren- twin boys. I commented on how interesting it is to watch even twins, even if identical, develop into very different personalities. Even if we belong to the same belief system (church), we may have differing interpretations or be at different levels of striving to be Christlike. Even here among the most pleasant group of people I have ever spent lots of time with, there are differences. These good people work hard at getting along. They are willing, obedient, and cheerful even when not feeling well. Despite their hard work, there are times when someone is a bit hurt or feels frustration because they can't understand why something is being done in a way that doesn't seem optimal to them or someone says something that someone could interpret as critical. Nobody here is even close to pulling a weapon, road rage, divorce, lawsuits, or any of the general world answers to conflict. These conflicts are so minor they might not even be noticed most of the time. Yet they exist, not because somebody is right and somebody else is wrong but simply because we are different.
     So, the Lord said, "Be ye therefore one as my Father and I are one..... If ye are not one ye are not mine." Also, we know that God has given us the agency to make our own choices. He even said, "It is not meet that I should command in all things.... He that requires such is a slothful and not a wise servant." (Those words may not be exact but that's the idea.) When Joseph Smith was asked how he could have such devoted, obedient followers, he said, "I teach them correct principles and they govern themselves." That's the Lord's way. We are here to learn to act for ourselves and grow in wisdom, not just be puppets no matter how good the puppeteer to whom we might turn over our will. Considering all this, how do we live peaceably with one another? This is what I have learned so far:
#1 Forgiveness- this does not mean simply smiling at someone who bumps your arm or saying it's okay that your teenager forgot to start dinner as directed. This includes EVERYTHING and EVERYONE. The Lord says He will forgive whom he will forgive but we are to forgive everyone 90 times 9. He loves unconditionally and wants us to grow to the point we can do that, too. So if you're leaning toward Democrat, you need to love and forgive Republicans. Whatever race you are, you are to love and forgive those of different races. This is not connected to repentance. Whether someone apologizes or not, we should be willing to forgive them. Forgiveness is not a reward to the perpetrator but is a characteristic of Christlike efforts. Holding grudges, even if well-deserved in our minds, harms the grudge holder much more than the one who committed the error. It isn't about seeing to it that someone else gets what they deserve. "Vengeance is mine saith the Lord" and for good reason! In our childish, narrow understanding of justice, there could never be peace if we were always trying to see to it that someone got what they deserved. God will take care of it. We need to just forgive.
#2 Civility- if you're interested, there is a well thought out expose entitled "Religious Values in the Public Square" on www.lds.org if you go to "Newsroom" then to "Topics and Background" then on the long list choose civility where you can choose the link to Religious Values...etc. Even though it was written to explain how secular, religious, government, and morality can co-exist, it explains well how we all need to think and relate to those who are different from us- which includes EVERYBODY! We can be respectful, willing to listen and learn, avoid prejudice, not lean toward tyranny no matter how right we think we may be. There needs to be a general demand for acceptance and avoidance of force to win someone over. This is not just in the instance of a despotic government. It includes abusive, tyrannical parents, spouses, neighbors, and even children! Children can be severely demanding when they don't get what they want when they want it. Good parents know that giving in to avoid tantrums is the worst thing you can do. Parents should avoid throwing a tantrum back, but stand firm so the child can learn what is right and fair to the whole family/society.
     I really look forward to a time and a situation without riots, looting, crimes, prejudice, even angry debates or name-calling. In order to have such a society, we each have to do our part to be eligible to be citizens of that society. We had better start working on it because it's going to be a challenge!

An evening at West Point

     As we have traveled around this Midwest area, we have been impressed with how many towns are named like others we are familiar with: Florida, Dallas City, Salem, Birmingham, Pittsburg, Pulaski, Charleston, Washington, Canton, Cuba, Denver, Topeka, Lewiston, Payson, Columbus, even Mechanicsburg- all cities in Illinois and Iowa. We spent Friday evening in West Point, Iowa for the 69th annual Sweetcorn Festival. It reminded me a little of our hometown, Dryden, NY and the annual Dryden Dairy Days.

 It had the same feeling of gathering widespread neighbors in from the farms for a favorite small-town America event. I don't know if they had a parade like Dairy Days. We went on the 2nd night of 3, which is bigger than Dryden's event. There was a pleasant small-town patriotism evident everywhere, especially in this veterans memorial. Every country in the world has veterans and it's good to remember their efforts and sacrifices. We watched some kids from a local small dance studio. There were booths set up exhibiting locally made crafts for sale as well as things like Pampered Chef and pre-made mixes for soups and dips. Besides the multi-night facet, this event is bigger than Dryden's in that there were lots of carnival rides and midway games. That reminded us more of the NY State Fair in Syracuse, only this was smaller than that.                                                                                        But the big draw here, the namesake of the Festival was SWEETCORN! It's trucked in by the tractor-trailer load and cooked in the huge boilers you can barely see on the truck bed on the left in the picture below. Local people take turns for a "shucking shift" to prepare the corn for being cooked. When done, the corn is placed on long

  tables in pans. You grab a tissue paper (like bakeries use) to grab your hot ear of corn, then take it to tables that have butter and salt on them. After you eat your ear, you throw it on the dumptruck bed (hard to see in these pictures but it's just past the tables in line with the basketball hoop) then get back in line for another. And it's all FREE!  Because I hadn't eaten anything since 9:30 am and that was just some vegetables and a granola bar, I got a chicken dinner.              

The dinner included 1/2 a barbequed chicken (not NEARLY as good as Cornell chicken), beans, potato salad, a drink, and of course an ear of corn. Russ only wanted the corn so he rotated through the line 7 times, getting his fill of freshly picked sweet corn!

 Just to mention a couple of things truly unique to the area, Russ was quite fascinated by this wood-burning tractor. It is an antique that has been maintained over the years, along with a collection of nearly 100 which we may go to see in Mt. Pleasant in September, of farm equipment. It works as a tractor as well as a thresher. You put wood in a box, just like coal in an old train engine, and the fire heats water to make steam which runs the engine. It can go 4 hours on one

 tank of water. They demonstrated it working but didn't actually move it. The plastic fence around it kept the curious from getting close enough to get hurt or damage the antique.

                                                                                                                                                         The other thing that we found unique to this area near the Mississippi, right along with the usual hot dogs, hamburgers, cotton candy, soda, ice cream, and sausage sandwiches, was the food offering on this sign. It was basically a chunk of alligator meat, battered and deep-fried and sold on a stick. It was not something we ever saw at Dryden Dairy Days or the NY State Fair!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      

Rampant volunteerism

     I have expressed numerous times how blessed I feel to be a member of a hardworking family. My parents both gave countless hours to every community of which they were ever a part. They were not reluctant to sweat or get dirty or give generously to others. The LDS Church is like that, too. Granted, there are some members who may not be quite as giving of themselves as others, but those who are active members are truly endeavoring to follow our Savior in sacrificing time, talents, and energy to benefit others. Pageant season here in Nauvoo is pretty torturous for missionaries serving here. Temple missionaries are all assigned 40 hours a week in the temple. Site missionaries work at least that much if not more. In addition, site missionaries participate in evening shows and are frequently seen in the temple doing ordinance work. Temple missionaries volunteer to help with the shows, pageant, and some even work as site missionaries a few hours a week. During the month of July when the baptistry was starting at 4 am and temple workers were putting in long hours, they logged 600 hours total (just the ones they actually logged in for) helping in the laundry. Nobody asked anybody to do this. People here look for things to do to be helpful and do it.
     Russ and I never feel better than when we are helping somebody do something. We spent a year traveling around the country several years ago doing all we could anywhere we went. There should be pictures on earlier  blogs. This past Monday I didn't get pictures but we spent the day in a barn about an hour from here. It's a 100-year old barn with a roof held up by tree trunks. The posts are actual full trees that just had the branches cut off. Over the years it has been used for cattle but now only houses 4 horses. The base of the trees was buried deep in the ground, deeper now than at the beginning after a build-up of years worth of manure. The bases are all rotting and starting to cause the roof to cave in. We met the owner of the barn when working in the temple laundry. She works there during the busy pageant season. When we told her we were looking for things to do and weren't interested in just entertainment, she told us about her project. Her 83-year old dad has been helping her. They had managed to get 2 posts repaired but had 2 more to go. We dug around the posts, screwed braces into them which we supported by piling whatever pieces of concrete block or boards available, sawed off the rotting bottoms of the tree trunks, dug a deep hole below each post then jacked the post back up to where it needed to be to hold the roof level. Then we added whatever bracing needed to hold it at the right height and using a come-along moved the post to the right plumb line vertically, removed the jack and poured a concrete post to hold up the tree post. The dad and daughter were delighted with our fast progress. It had taken them nearly a day to do each of the other two posts but we were able to complete 2 posts in 3 hours with Russ and me helping. We were sweaty, dirty, but exhilarated to have accomplished something much more worthwhile than watching a movie or reading a book. This desire to help and work hard is my favorite heritage from my parents- next to loving my family, of course.

The joy of COUSINS!

I have not hidden my love of my family. My children and grandchildren don't live near each other and sometimes go a couple of years between chances to be together. I just love the way they are still comfortable together whatever age they are. Here in Ohio in 2007-

 as well as here in Utah in 2013- they often group by age simply because they have more in common that way. But they still just hang out together-

 Sometimes it has been just boys like here in Missouri in 2006

 Or in Illinois in 2015-

 But this boy and girl, born fairly close in time, have continued to be friends.

 Whether watching a cousin be baptized, in 2008

 or hugging after a cousin's baptism in 2013,

 they continue to line up as loving friends. That just warms a Grandma's heart.

The more I think about it......

     We just celebrated our 45th wedding anniversary. Our older daughter posted a congratulations on Facebook which caused us to reflect a bit. She mentioned that we have chosen to keep working on our marriage despite "fighting and arguing". After the pangs of guilt, I thought further. Any two human beings no matter the relationship: spouses, siblings, parent-child, friends, neighbors- if they both have an intellect at all, are going to have moments of disagreement. Even identical twins will not always happily agree on everything! Despite the fact that there are billions of human beings, it's somewhat a miracle that we are all unique. We all have an inert longing to be part of a group- to be included and wanted. Yet we will inevitably each utilize our God-given agency to choose. That's the part that matters most because that's the only thing we truly have of our own to give. A parent and child have lots of disagreements throughout the time the child lives in the parent's home. Part of that stems from the child trying to figure out who they are and what they like or want. Part of it stems from the parent struggling to figure out how to be responsible for another developing human being. The thing is, we never stop developing so we're always readjusting our position in relationship to other people as well as just internally figuring out who we are. I am currently serving a full-time mission in a temple. I have never done this before. Even those who have served as temple missionaries before have never served at this time in this temple with this group of people. So it's a "first-time experience" for everybody here! Each day different people come into the temple with different attitudes, desires, conceptions, behavior, etc. Every time I answer the phone, it's different. Each person who calls with a request to put a name on the prayer roll has different feelings or desires about a different situation. So we are each endlessly re-adjusting our thoughts, understandings, and desires according to our experiences and choices. It is inevitable that we will clash with others and react in ways from quiet inner thoughts all the way to extremely violent outward actions. Our reaction to those clashes are the only thing totally within our control and there is absolutely no blanket course of action to always follow. The end results will be anywhere from just another straw on the back of the camel which symbolizes our relationship with that person to an all-out separation of any desire to have a relationship at all.
     For me, personally, I want to be loving and peaceful in my relationships with others. However, I want to be a person of integrity which means I won't just go along with anyone else's ideas just to keep peace or be thought well of. I want to find truth, to the best of my knowledge and ability to search it out. I want to stand for true principles which for me means Godly principles because I believe God is far wiser than I am. I know I'm going to make mistakes but I would like to avoid self-induced pain and heartache as much as possible. If He can show me a way with superior results, I want to follow that. That requires developing a relationship with Him which requires I seek His wisdom and thoughts through His prophets words and personal prayer. All that sounds very ideal but it doesn't always go smoothly. Sometimes clashes occur because I'm not doing my part to be Christlike. Sometimes clashes occur because someone else either misinterprets me or simply doesn't want to agree with me. There are limited results for these clashes: compromise, one side winning over the other, or a parting of the ways. In order to keep going in a marriage, you need to try hard to keep trying for one of the first two. If you have a parting of the ways over too many issues, there will be a gap between you which is too wide to bridge. Divorce or at least estrangement will result with the impact sending out waves throughout a whole group of people: children, in-laws, parents, grandparents, friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc. All of this from the choice of 2 mere individuals who chose to allow a widening gap without efforts to repair or compromise. Russ and I never wanted to make that choice. So, yes, we have fought and argued over the years. But we have resisted ever getting nasty enough to cause wounds that couldn't heal with time and patience. We have chosen to swallow our pride and wait for passions to blow over. We have been willing to forgive and tried to forget. I don't know if any fairy-tale marriages where everybody lives happily ever after actually exist. I don't know of any. I know of a number of marriages where one partner seems to have to give a whole lot more than the other, but that is only my perspective and I will probably never know how accurate I am. In my marriage, I just want to be the best person I know how to be, which includes being forgiving and tolerant and willing to listen and compromise. What more can I do?

Hannibal Part Two

The weather was quite pleasant for our day as tourists. It was warm but not stiflingly hot and it didn't rain. By the end of the day, we were ready to relax and our steamboat dinner cruise was just the right way to do that. It was a family-run business, the dad being a river captain for the past 39 years. The boat was not an actual steamboat but a motorized boat fashioned to look like a steamboat. We were shown to our table for the evening then  went to the bar and each got a of drink called "Lighthouse". It's a combination strawberry daiquiri and pina colada, non-alcoholic of course. I chose to top mine with whipped cream and a cherry. We paid dearly for the lovely glasses to take home but we figured it was our big anniversary celebration so we splurged!

 The main deck was mostly dining room with a buffet-serving/entertainment-stage area with the bar and rest rooms at the back. The second deck up had tables for sitting to visit or just enjoy being in air conditioning. The top deck had chairs lined up so you could watch the shores go by. (The river was slightly narrower here than at Nauvoo which is on a major bend and just a little upriver from a power plant/dam in Keokuk, Iowa.) The current was slow enough to be almost imperceptible except when you passed a buoy and could see the water circling around past it.

 It was a very relaxing ride lasting just over two hours. The food was quite good. The main entertainment was the daughter of the captain who was young, pretty, confident, funny, and had a lovely singing voice. (She has been Miss-something-or-other several times in several places.)

 You may not be able to get an accurate scope of the ship in the picture below. This is NOT the boat we had dinner on. This is the American Queen which transports cruise passengers up and down the river on a 9 day trip. As pleasant as our little ship was, we really hope to someday ride this bigger, more beautiful ship. We so enjoyed our Nile Cruise. We expect the Mississippi River ride would be as nice although the stops along the way will certainly not be as "exotic".