It hurts.

I have wondered what my life might have been like had I made very different choices. What if I had completed my education and chosen a career instead of getting married? What if Russ and I had decided to not try to have any more children after James and Angela? What if we had stayed in Dryden instead of moving around? What if I had been born in Japan and had to experience the recent earthquake and tsunami? What if I had been born in the Middle Ages and had to live through the Plague, in ignorance of the world around me? I am without a doubt greatly blessed. I have never known true hunger. I have never been without shelter or a comfortable bed (except by choice when camping!). I have never experienced war, or pestilence, or natural disasters in which I lost things important to me. But I have hurt. I hurt every day as I see my mother CHOOSE to not move. She has eliminated so many possibilities from her life and there is nothing I can do about it. I hurt whenever a loved one wants something different in their life but cannot seem to be motivated sufficiently to make necessary changes. I hurt every time a loved one is afraid or disappointed. I hurt every time I hear from one of my children and one of the grandchildren is sick or a spouse is going to be away for extended periods, especially if in harm's way. I am slowly comprehending the need for life to not just go along smoothly with everything working out exactly as we would want. We really do need opposition in order to grow. How does our loving Father in Heaven hear our constant cries, ache for us, know what's best for us even if we doubt, and withstand the pain of it? I struggle with the desire to rush to the side of someone I love when they are hurt, sick, or sad. I want to do everything in my power to alleviate their suffering. I know God loves us more than we can even comprehend. I am amazed that He allowed Jesus to suffer, even if He did know it was necessary. How do you have that kind of wisdom and self-control? How do you maintain a peaceful nature while witnessing the suffering of loved ones? How do you comfort, reassure, and encourage while staying back and letting the necessary growth and experience continue without interfering? I can appreciate the wisdom of doing it. I just can't understand how to endure the pain of doing it. Loving really hurts. But I think loneliness, never experiencing love, would be worse.