A tender mercy

     Recently I had a bit of a "down" day. There wasn't anything really wrong. We have been worried about a grandchild or two as well as other family members. I had recently talked to someone about how hard we worked on the house we rehabbed in Dayton, then got almost nothing for it. I woke up one morning thinking about all of our unpleasant experiences in Ohio: our son dying and my desperate efforts to help our sweet daughter-in-law to get an education so she could support the kids, the limousine business with a bad partner who forced us into bankruptcy, and even having decided to move here to AZ to take care of my dad until he died then he died while I was gone getting ready to move here. Added to that was my grief over my verrrryy slowly dying mother. When we moved here 3 years ago, we planned to stay until my mother passed away so she wouldn't be alone. To be perfectly honest, none of my family nor I thought she would live this long. As a matter of fact, apparently she has become a rather frequent subject of discussion among the health care professionals at the care center where she lives. They don't understand why she is still living. Visits to her feel mostly useless. There is almost nothing I can do for her anymore. I find myself visiting her almost strictly out of duty even though I love her. I desperately miss my children and grandchildren. I'm truly grateful for Skype and phone calls from them but it's just not the same. I really don't get to talk to the kids much, especially the younger ones. I'm so afraid they're just growing up without any regular awareness of me. I think about them every day but I'm sure they don't think about me that often. They are kids. They are busy with school, friends, activities, homework, etc. Due to our general circumstances, we don't yet know where we're going to go when we leave here so even though we're anxious to leave, there isn't any pressing reason to do so. We feel like we're in limbo and Russ and I miss our family. I was just feeling so despondent that I prayed that God would send me some good news- any news about anyone- to remind me that things can work out eventually.
     My mother is on hospice care. The hospice chaplain called me to tell me he had just visited her. He said she was doing okay then pointedly asked me, "How are you doing?" I hadn't said or even hinted at anything being wrong with me. I'm not sure why he asked that question. I don't know what denomination this chaplain is but I know he believes in God. I think he was inspired to ask me that. I told him that I wasn't having a problem with Mom dying. My problem was more that she wasn't dying. I then explained that my husband and I had moved her 3 years ago to be near her until she passed and we missed our kids and grandkids. He was so comforting! He advised me not to feel any guilt and even called guilt unnecessary and unwarranted. He told me I was being a good daughter and should not chain myself to my mother. I told him I was planning to go to see some of my grandkids in a month or so and he was very encouraging about my doing that. My siblings and husband have all said similar things, for which I am grateful. But having a "stranger" who is assigned to watch over my mother tell me I should not feel obligated to stay here all the time and that my children and grandchildren need me, too, was a wonderful reassurance. An apostle once spoke about small things that the Lord does for us to show He's aware and cares. He called them "tender mercies". I believe that phone call was a tender mercy- a sign that God is aware of me and wants to comfort me. A prophet said that God always answers prayers and it is often through another person that He does so. This was one of those times. The Lord says He is offended by those who confess not His hand in all things. So, I want to make it a point to acknowledge that I know He loves me and is doing what He can to spur me on. Thank you, Father.