Differences

This is especially for anyone who has ever spoken derisively of another using descriptions like "neat freak" or "OCD" or "overly meticulous". I'm just needing to think something through and would appreciate any input. This is mostly philosophical, worldly analysis as opposed to ultimate total truth. I am always working at avoiding contention because I find it unpleasant. I love to learn new things so I really don't think I want everyone around me to agree with me on everything. I'm just fine with me preferring strawberry and someone else chocolate, or me preferring blue and someone else green, or me preferring walking and someone else running. Since we don't all have to share the same house, we can have different ways of doing laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc. What I'm trying to figure out is where to draw a line so as to avoid as much discomfort as possible. It seems to me that most people have some area of their everyday life that they focus on being "CLEAN". Some people shower at least once every day even if they don't really need to like they would if they worked somewhere that Mike Rowan would cover on his show "Dirty Jobs". They want to feel clean hair, clean skin, and have clean clothes touching them. Some people want their cars clean. It really bugs them to have the chrome not sparkle or bird poop on their roof or hood or even mud on their hubcaps. Some people like their homes clean. That would be me. I will never use plug-in deodorizers because I have empty pizza boxes sitting around for days or who-knows-what growing under my refrigerator or in the back of a closet or cupboard. I don't feel that I'm obsessive about vacuuming because I don't do it daily- especially since there are only 2 adults in our home and we aren't home all the time. When I clean my windows, I like to clean them so there are no streaks on the glass, no bugs in the sill, and no dust on the screens. But I don't clean my windows more than about 3 or 4 times a year. I like being able to find things because they have been put where they belong. I realize that everybody has a different opinion on where things belong. Some people may prefer drinking glasses in the cupboard by the sink, some in a cupboard by the refrigerator. But it's good to have all the glasses in one place so you don't have to open every cupboard and drawer to find enough glasses to set the table! I feel like it's an illogical waste of time to have to spend minutes/hours/days looking for something simply because someone "carelessly" laid it down without thinking, even if that was myself. I tend to put things away whenever I notice them in an illogical place, not because I'm obsessed with having everything "look nice" but because I want to be able to find it when I need it. I like to wipe the counters and table because I hate having jelly or crumbs stuck unexpectedly to something I put down on that surface. I put our toaster away in a cupboard because it doesn't get used every day and I don't like having the counter so cluttered I can't effectively use it as a work space. I shake the crumbs out of the toaster after using it because I don't want to have to clean the cupboard frequently where I store the toaster or attract bugs to the feast of bread crumbs on the surface of the cupboard. (I also knew somebody once whose cupboards caught on fire because the crumbs in the toaster on the counter caught fire.) I like the filter in the vacuum cleaner clean because I don't like the way it smells when it is full of hair, lint, dust, etc. that has been stewing in it for weeks on end.
So, my question is, where is it appropriate to draw the line between being a "slob" and being "OCD"? As I mentioned before, we don't all share the same house so where you draw the line is up to you and where I draw the line is up to me. The problem comes when two or more people do share a house and they have a different idea of how neat to be. It's easy to resent each other. The one closer to super-neat can resent the messes left by the not-so-neat. The slob can resent what they interpret as an implication that things should have been picked up or cleaned up and weren't. How often should things be cleaned? Personally, I don't like to have the job of cleaning a refrigerator that has been storing stuff for months that was never moved. (I'm not talking ketchup or mustard or soy sauce or whatever- I'm talking about food.) Sometimes the container can be ruined by the stain of mold or the stink of rotten food. What a waste! It seems logical to me to keep track of what's in the fridge. Use it while it's good or give it or throw it away. I have been in homes where I was reluctant to sit on any furniture because it was covered with food, hair, mud, and who knows what. I don't ever want anyone to feel that way in my home. I want even surprise guests to feel comfortable enough to sit on my couch or a chair or even eat off my table. I'm not talking about the clutter of a major project being worked on or the scattered toys of children. I'm talking about dirt..... filth.... build-up.
So, I will try not to criticize you for your housekeeping if you try not to criticize me for being a "neat freak".