Joan of Arc

     I haven't posted a blog in the past couple of days because I have been struggling with my confidence. I think it started with the usual reaction to holiday seasons. I miss my family. Don't get me wrong, the people here are really wonderful. I can't say enough about how exemplary the temple missionaries are as well as the local people who work in and attend the temple. But there's something about the tenderness of feelings for people with whom you have long been familiar, a comfort from being with people who love you despite having watched you grow up through awkward phases as well as do and say dumb things. As I have prayed for insight as well as assistance in regaining a feeling a peace and joy, I have been waiting for some good news (certainly not finding any in the national or world news!) to reassure me just a little. Today the Lord gave me a couple of "tender mercies". I met a local temple worker I had not previously known. She hasn't been here for awhile. When in the course of the normal get-acquainted conversation she asked where I was from, I told her "upstate New York". She asked where and I said "Ithaca" and proceeded to give the usual description of where in the state that is. She interrupted me to say she knew where it was because she grew up there! I added that I wasn't from Ithaca exactly but nearby, a little town called Dryden. She said she knew exactly where that is! For the next few minutes we had the thrill of discussing familiar things about the area- the beauty of the gorges and waterfalls, the farms with cows, and especially the variety of apples. Without any prompting from me she nodded her head and mentioned Cortlands and MacIntosh and Empires! As I worked through the morning, I continued my quest to better understand Isaiah which was reassuring (I'll further explain later) and had the opportunity to talk to some other temple workers because there weren't a lot of patrons in the temple today. It had been snowing outside and being mid-week, it was just slow. It was wonderful to talk to these good people, sharing concerns and values and hope.That was really all I needed to get me started on an upward path again.
     Not long ago Russ and I watched a docu-drama about Joan of Arc. I have know about her most of my life but had not been aware so fully of her experience. She truly had perseverance and great faith. Even at her young age, she stood up to skeptics and cynics and critics. She continued to pray and press for virtue in others, especially the soldiers she led in battle. She truly exemplified Isaiah's words: Hearken unto me, ye that know righteousness, the people in whose heart is my law; fear ye not the reproach of men, neither be ye afraid of their revilings. The Lord has given me instructions and direction so many times but when I don't see results for my efforts, I get discouraged. I am grateful that He keeps giving me little "tender mercies" to cheer me on when I don't have the wherewithal to persevere. I need to be reminded that it really doesn't matter whether others agree with me or listen to my counsel. What matters is who I am. I know I have said it before, but I need to repeat it for myself- I just need to keep doing my little part of the job and He will take care of the rest.