I'm spoiled

     Don't get me wrong- I am totally grateful to be serving a mission. I love serving the Lord and other people. I love working with such truly kind, honest, wonderful people. But there are times when I just need a few moments to myself. I wish I could just take a breather. I have spent most of my adult life working for no-one else but myself. Sure, I had kids who made demands and appointments to keep. I even volunteered for LOTS of things that sometimes kept me so busy I didn't have time to complain! But I have really enjoyed the freedom to keep my own schedule. I don't want to sit around and do nothing. I don't want endless hours to seek entertainment. I just really like being able to do what I want when I want. I'm spoiled.
     Russ and I have had so many opportunities to travel all over the globe. We had experienced many varied cuisines. We live in a county and time when we can get fresh strawberries even if there's snow outside and we can get steak even if we have never raised an animal for food and we can get fresh bread even if we don't make it. We are excited to be going to a concert tomorrow night in a smallish town in Iowa. Before the concert we plan to eat at a restaurant. We were talking about how much we look forward to eating at a Turkish restaurant because it's something "different". We never go hungry. We have more than bread and water by a long shot. We're spoiled.
     I get tired of indigestion. I have been taking a "proton pump inhibitor" (Nexium) for nearly 10 years now. I manage to be somewhat comfortable by being careful how much I eat and when I eat. But I'm tired of that feeling in my chest of discomfort and burning. I'm tired of the weird burning mouth syndrome thing I have all the time. But, I don't have cancer having to undergo miserable chemotherapy and expensive treatments, endless doctor visits. I don't have a degenerating disease that would cause me to look forward to slowly losing abilities and increasing discomfort. I'm spoiled.
     I want to be constantly ready to smile, encourage, and help. But sometimes I'm tired or not feeling well, and I'm too spoiled to be totally consistent in goodness.