There are as many opinions and styles of leadership as there are people, despite the availability of classes,lectures and books with recommendations on the most effective methods. The disparity of results can be dramatic ranging from total failure to success of individuals as well as entire organizations. A person can be placed in the position of a leader by various circumstances: through deserved promotion due to individual effort, through happenstance (birthright or lack of anyone else to do the job), or decision to bear and raise children. I have been considering just 3 styles from my life observances: dictators, enablers, and teachers. It's possible to use any or all three styles combined. There are advantages and disadvantages for each.
Dictator- This term most likely evokes memories of tyrannical leaders through history who ruled by creating fear in their citizens. The goal was to create and maintain the leader's version of order by sheer force. It was often successful in pulling together a war-prone, divided country. As a leader or parent, this style utilizes very little input from others and demands obedience with threat of punishment. (Shut up and do as I say!) Many parents resort to using this when faced with a tantrum-throwing toddler who does not understand anything much beyond his own self-centered wishes. Otherwise, when this style is used on adults, or even older children, there may be results that the leader is striving for but it's likely to be at the cost of resentment, even hatred, toward the leader. I'm sure a psychologist could identify, in the children or organization members of such a leader, all kinds of problems from not learning or daring to think for themselves to developing manipulative or sneaky tactics to appear obedient in order to avoid punishment. So order may be achieved, but in the ultimate sense, there will not be unity nor strength of character in individuals other than possibly learning to be dictators themselves.
Enabler- This style appears at first glance to be much kinder than the dictator. The main goal of this leader is to be loved or preferred. Politicians often perform in this manner. Parents use this style to avoid battling their children. (Whatever you want to do, honey....) Leaders are needed and looked to for guidance. Although organization members/children need to learn to think for themselves, they often lack sufficient knowledge or experience to make wise decisions. The enabler opts out of offering opinions and encourages whims in others as well as excusing it in themselves. They will give an answer or guidance depending on their mood and circumstances. (I'm too tired to clean that up right now so I don't feel like it. I won't make you do it either.) Under this style, weakness of character ultimately results. People or children do not learn to use wisdom to think things through or strength to do whatever needs doing despite how you may feel at the moment. Praise from such a leader becomes less than meaningful as followers come to realize they will be complimented whatever they do because the leader doesn't really care beyond everyone being happy..... Nobody really succeeds.
Teacher- In case you haven't guessed, this is my personal favorite. I think anyone who considers themselves a teacher, first and foremost, is likely to be the most effective leader. When the goal is not to look impressive, not to maintain outward order, not to be "the favorite", but, more importantly, to work themselves out of a job by encouraging strength and wisdom in others so they could take over as leaders any time. These teachers love their constituents because they respect and value them. As a result, most others will feel the same way toward the teacher. They can be depended upon ALWAYS because they don't resort to whims. Others can anticipate the reaction of the teacher simply by applying logic and love. Teachers recognize that their example is always evident to others and strives for the good of the entire community, not just themselves. They don't just demand others do a job, they step in and show and teach and encourage. They don't just threaten punishment. They reason out purpose and consequences, including applying fair consequences recognizing the importance of learning even when uncomfortable.
Although I see these various methods, I can't say I'm the best at utilizing the most appropriate in every instance. I prefer to see myself as a teacher but sometimes I am grumpy and act more like a dictator or tired/discouraged and act more like an enabler. I just need to continue to strive to improve.
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