But he's ugly!

          It's always interesting to see how science fiction/fantasy non-earthlings are portrayed in movies or comics. They often have a humanoid form with strange hair or appendages. There is an instinctive reaction in us to notice how "attractive" others are. Scientists would probably attribute that to natural selection and propagation of the species. Scientists have also done studies which show that people who might be considered "attractive" are often treated better by clerks, wait-staff, and other strangers. I remember finally maturing to the point when I noticed couples where one or both of the people were not what might be magazine-worthy yet they seemed to be happy and very attentive to each other. At first I wondered, "How can he/she really be interested in a relationship with that person who doesn't appear attractive?" Truly, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. But, also, there is something to be said for "you can't tell a book by its cover". Most of us have experienced a model-type attractive person who is vain and obnoxious. Most of us have also known a person who isn't quite so "easy on the eyes" that is kind, considerate, helpful, honest, hardworking, etc. There are lots of people who go to great lengths to improve the "cover of their book" by changing hair color, dieting, working out, investing in expensive and extensive wardrobes, and even plastic surgery including botox injections and nose jobs. Why? Is it really all about our concern to propagate? Why do we continue to be so concerned even AFTER having mated with someone willing to accept us as we are at the time? What does it say about our character when we are so affected by a person's outward appearance, even our own? Do we not fully understand the shallowness of our attitude?
     I know several people who suffer daily from feeling they don't look "good enough"- some married and some not. The ones who are married often think their partner is just amazing for having "lowered" themselves enough to hook up with such a low-life as themselves. The ones who are not married might be really interested in being married but have convinced themselves that no one is ever going to want them except maybe someone who is even worse than they are! How do we overcome this hang-up?It's obviously shallow, unfair, unrealistic, and just plain wrong. Yet we continue to value people according to their outward appearance.
     One way that I have seen people get over it is to have a child, genetically their own or adopted, who has special needs which generally causes them to be somehow misshapen or have an awkward expression or behavior. When you live every day with someone less than beautiful on the outside, you come to better appreciate who people are and not so much what they look like. When you care for an innocent, helpless child all day every day, your love can increase through your service. (That's not always a given. There are some who only develop a resentment, sadly enough.)
     Another way I have seen people get over it is to have exposure to one of the "beautiful on the outside" people that is cruel, selfish, pompous, and altogether impossible to get along with. The person can be a boss or other work companion, or a roommate or a family member. You come to realize that beauty truly is often only skin-deep. That helps you when looking at other people around you as well as in the mirror. You're more inclined to look past just what shows on the outside and better appreciate what's on the inside.
     As much as it benefits society to have "ugly" people treated more kindly, it benefits every single individual even more. Think about what the world would be like if people no longer judges others by how fashionable their clothes were or how lovely their hair or skin was or how well-shaped they were. I can see vividly in my mind photos from National Geographic of women in Africa stretching their necks higher and higher with neck bands because their culture considers that attractive. There is also the x-rays of women a century and more ago whose spines were distorted from wearing really tight corsets. How about the ancient Oriental women whose feet were so misshapen from being bandaged to stay petite? Also, the countless stabbing with needles for tattoos and piercing of all kinds of places that currently are considered culturally fashionable.... WHY??? We would be so much better off if we could stop ourselves from focusing on the covers of books and take the time to appreciate what's inside- get the whole story. It would make us kinder, more patient people. It would make us better at liking ourselves and accepting what's in the mirror. It's good to look neat, clean, and pleasant but it's really not necessary to be so demanding of whatever the current culture labels as good looking. I think we should work harder at being just plain GOOD.