Brackets of human life

     This morning we learned that Thomas S. Monson, president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and prophet, seer, and revelator, died. He was over 90 and not in really good health so it was not a total surprise. My first reaction? Joy! I sincerely rejoiced that his mortal journey was over and he has been released to join his wife and loved ones, including our Savior. Funerals/deaths are acknowledged very differently under different circumstances: age of the deceased, cultural dictations of appropriate reactions to death, conditions of life immediately prior to death for the deceased, and how much a part of the mourner's everyday life the deceased played. I know only a little about how the Irish or citizens of New Orleans observe wakes but from what I have learned so far, it is more a celebration than a somber, depressing reaction. I'm sure sociologists and archaeologists could explain the differing cultural norms surrounding reaction to death but it really comes down to individual gut feelings. If you are part of a culture that always treats death as a tragedy but you have a loved one who has suffered pain for a prolonged period with no hope of relief or cure, it's hard to consider their release to be a bad thing. On the other hand, if you are part of a culture that sees death as a passageway to a better realm, you may have difficulty celebrating the sudden, unexpected death of a relatively young loved one. We celebrate holidays and birthdays all year long but the really major events are the brackets of a person's mortal years- birth and death.
     Generally, birth is a cause for rejoicing. We see the emergence of a new person as full of potential for all kinds of adventures. Babies are so honest. When they smile, it makes others truly happy. When they cry, they are truly unhappy and cause those around them to respond immediately- sometimes out of compassion and, unfortunately, sometimes out of irritation. When a baby cuddles you or gives you their version of a wet, slobbery kiss, it makes you feel truly loved.  Every single day we, especially parents and siblings, look for more information to get to know this new little stranger.
     At the other end, when a person dies, they are not so much a stranger but relatively known . They have reached at least some of their potential. People around that person have become somewhat familiar with what the person donates to their lives- for good or bad, happy or sad. As my daughter-in-law has expressed a number of times, change is always hard. Even if a person has made your life more miserable than happy, there is a kind of hole in your life when they're permanently gone. I really think that most of the mourning we feel at death is for the living left behind, including ourselves. Maybe our celebration at birth is, too. Maybe we are more excited about what a new person may offer in the way of new perspectives and unanticipated experiences to ourselves than even what life holds for the baby.
     In any event, each of us will pass into and out of this life having touched the lives of many others. It is wonderful to know that we are not mortal beings who may occasionally have spiritual experiences but spiritual beings who are passing through a mortal experience. None of us end here. We may accumulate various tangible and intangible items here but will only take with us whatever we have learned and the characteristics we have developed. Babies come here with some predispositions dictated by chemical DNA but each has a choice in every case- whether to give in to addictions, whether to strive to expand knowledge and wisdom, whether to give in to laziness or self-doubt, whether to reach out with more compassion than self-sympathy, whether to trust or not..... I am grateful for the benefits I have gained from Thomas S. Monson- his example, teachings, and life- just as I am grateful for the lives of my parents, grandparents, and son, Ammon as well as many friends who have been released from mortality. I am also grateful for the potential for enrichment to my life offered by my grandchildren and great-grandchildren as they enter my life and awareness. I am grateful to not be alone, limited by my own imagination and perspective. And I hope for everyone that we can feel satisfied with our life accomplishments whenever we are done here.