Expectations

     "And it shall come to pass..., that I will pour out my spirit upon all flesh, and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your old men shall dream dreams, and your young men shall see visions"(Joel 2:28) "This is not poetry, not is it allegory; it is description of reality as it will be. Some of it will happen so gradually that you may not notice it......That scripture does not say that your sons and your daughters may claim the gift of prophecy by the Spirit. It says that they will. It doesn't say that your young men may see visions. It says that they will....The Spirit will be poured out, but it will wash over some and fall to the ground and fail to make a difference. The Spirit will be poured out, but choices must be made in faith to receive spiritual power. That is how we can and must make a difference. Whether or not that outpouring of the Spirit on all flesh brings prophecies and visions and safety to the young people we love will depend upon their choices. And you know the choices they must make that matter most. So you can make it far more likely that they will choose what will let them claim a constant companionship of the Spirit. That is what they can have. That is what they must have. It begins with expectations, yours and theirs. If you expect little, they will feel your lack of faith in them and in the Lord's promised outpouring of the Spirit. If you communicate, by word or action or even by the tome of voice, that you doubt their spiritual capacity, they will doubt it. If you see in them the potential Joel describes, they will at least have the chance to see it in themselves. your choices of what you expect will have powerful effect on their choices of what to expect of themselves." (Henry B. Eyring, CES Training broadcast, 4 Aug 2004)
     After reading the entire talk by President Eyring, Russ and I had quite a discussion about expectations. I have heard many people express a distaste for expectations. Some people are uncomfortable with the idea of having expectations of anyone, themselves or others, because it is a form of "judgment", an awareness of a flaw and a hope to change it. I have heard mothers express that it isn't fair for the eldest child to be expected to be an example to younger siblings because it puts too much pressure on them. I have heard people express that it is unfair to expect a child to serve a mission, get good grades in school, graduate or seek further education. Some people say it's unfair to expect people to work; that socialistic ideals of work being for those who select it while others may reap equal rewards simply by nature of existence. I know I'm going a bit far but my point is, when is it fair to have expectations?
     Russ pointed out that it could be explained as a 3-step process: desire, expectation, demand. At first, there is a desire for a certain outcome. If the desire is deemed worthy, it becomes an expectation. When the expectation isn't met, it becomes a demand. It seems that the ideal would be to analyze the first step- desire. God has promised us every righteous desire of our hearts, if we are obedient to righteous principles. God is wise. His promise is fair. So, it is essential that we determine if our desire is, indeed, righteous- but that requires some sort of standard. Who determines righteousness? For those who choose not to believe in God or even just have no interest in finding out what He wants, their only standard would be whatever seems right or good to them, which can be a fairly self-centered guide. A better one might be whatever is good for the "masses"- society of man in general. Since we are all so different, that might be difficult to determine. It sure seems to me that the ideal is to seek the wisdom of a superior Being and go with that. Once a desire is determined to be fair and righteous, then it's for the benefit of everyone and anyone to have an expectation. (If a parent determines that brushing teeth is best for everyone's overall health, it's fair to expect a child to brush their teeth, whether or not they want to.) In the case of rebellion, the expectation escalates to a demand with some sort of immediate consequences because the long-term consequence of not brushing teeth is unavoidable, expensive, and impossible to undo. Hence, the one with greater wisdom is "fair" in having expectations to the point of demanding.
     God has expectations of His children, all of us. Occasionally He has demanded and applied immediate consequences. Unfortunately, most of the consequences we will receive are like not brushing teeth, unavoidable and impossible to undo without great expense on our part. He has warned us through prophets that "now is the day of your mortal probation... don't procrastinate until it is everlastingly too late." He loves us and has expectations. He has also told us that when we have been warned (or recognize the warning) we should warn our neighbors.