People

It is difficult for me to not get a little sad these days. I am spending most of my time either at a care facility with people who are nearing the end of their lives, some of whom have "already left the planet"... or in the ICU at the hospital listening to people fighting for their lives. Dad is progressing nicely so that is good. Mom isn't. I struggle with how to handle that. She is such a loving, kindhearted person. I guess if I didn't love her, I wouldn't be so frustrated.

I have been meeting some really interesting people here in Sun City. Dad's surgeon was a bit of a surprise. When we went for the introductory appointment, a medium height, chunky woman dressed in stretchy pants, a wild tee shirt, funky green and fuschia shoes, a heavy charm bracelet, with spiky orange hair came into the room and I tried not to over-react. She was really pleasant and everyone we have ever spoken to that is at all involved in the medical profession respects her highly. Dad was quite pleased and confident about putting his life in her hands. I must say, if I ever saw her in a mall or restaurant, I would never have pegged her as a skilled thoracic surgeon. She even has beautiful hand writing!

The anesthesologist who put Dad to sleep for the surgery impressed us both from the start. He is a Mexican who moved to the United States when he was 5, grew up here and became a naturalized citizen. He takes in foster children and is also an excellent health care professional. He is also very outspoken about Arizona's controversial new illegal immigrant policy. He is annoyed at people who don't live here and haven't gone through what he has gone through to get to where he is. In his words, "I'm very much in favor of LEGAL immigrants. I paid my dues and think everybody should." He made several jokes about his ethnicity and was wonderful to meet.

An LDS couple put on a little music show at the care facility where Mom is. The wife is one of those few people who have been given the gift of playing piano by ear. She can play anything and plays very well. She doesn't play much classical and the popular music she plays is in the style of Liberace or Ferrante and Teicher(??). Her husband sings kind of like Don Ho I guess. But they are amazing for senior citizens and put on an excellent program. She has played for Disneyland and Opryland. They drop famous people's names as acquaintences and have 5 children and 14 grandchildren and 3 1/2 great-grandchildren.

I look forward to a time and opportunity to socialize without fear of being misunderstood, misled, or mistreated. There are lots of really pleasant people around with fascinating stories to tell but sometimes fear gets in the way of fellowship. We need somebody in charge to run things perfectly and there needs to be a weeding out of people who don't want to live with rules. Some day..............

How much to hope for...???

Tomorrow I will be taking my father to a thoracic surgeon to investigate a new process for lung cancer. It involves injecting talc into the lining of the lung cavity. It sounds strange until you read a medical article on it. It has shown more promise than anyone ever expected. I have a long list of questions to ask the doctor and am glad the appointment is early in the day. The wait would drive me crazy! Sometimes I almost forget how sick Dad is. Then I listen to him awake most of the night coughing and see him grimace at the thought of eating anything and I am reminded.

On the other hand, my mother is very slowly making tiny baby steps of progress toward more physical independence. It's pretty frustrating to watch her. But the best thing for her is to NOT step in and help. She needs to gain strength and that only comes from using her own muscles, not someone else's.

Russ and I are frustratingly still in financial limbo. We went through the bankruptcy hearing that we so dreaded but nothing is finalized yet. We know we haven't been turned down for bankruptcy but we don't know if there will be a forced sale on our house or exactly what we will yet be responsible for. Our future has become a huge blank with a question mark in it.

The week in Florida, Part 2

According to reports we heard, the oil spill in the Gulf coast was headed our way so we took a quick trip to the beach, stopping to buy boogey (sp?) boards along the way. I tried to get a picture of Russ out riding a wave but due to the brightness of the sun and not being able to see the little image on the camera, I didn't get a good picture. But here is Lisa with the kids finding clams. Lisa knows how to get them to push out their little foot to try to move while on your hand. We enjoyed the day and only got a little sunburned, thanks to sunscreen!

Although our timing for seeing Keith wasn't good, our timing for a local annual event was great! We were there for the Billie Bowleg Pirate Festival! Aaron had been Jack Sparrow for the last Halloween so he was able to wear most of his costume (it was just too hot for the long-sleeved shirt and pants). Lisa did a terrific job putting together things she found for free, making things, or buying fairly cheaply. She's quite creative. (Is that a proud mother talking?)(Oh, and, Lisa, if you read this- your sister is really creative but so are you!) They had a great fireworks display, Lisa ran a midnight race while we stayed with the kids (all of us sleeping but she did well I guess), and a parade with waaaayy too many bead necklaces thrown to the crowd. Along with the food booths and various pirate themed stuff for sale, they had a little dramatic reenactment. Here is the pirate band as they got off the "ship" to "attack" the city!

We also spent time doing yard work, going to the movies, eating wonderful meals, and just enjoyed being together. Lisa is sharing her love of books with her children, along with her love of music. Russ and I are really glad.

A week in Florida

It is no secret that Russ and I are very connected to our family despite geographic distances between us. We have a busy summer coming up so we decided, somewhat spontaneously, to go for a quick visit to Lisa's family in Florida. Ironically, the timing was bad to be able to see Keith because he was on TDY (again, again, again...). Nevertheless, we enjoyed spending time with Lisa, Aaron, and Elliette, along with the two dogs and not so much the sugar glider who was only awake when we were sleeping. We got to go to Aaron's last soccer practice. It was the expected chaotic enthusiasm of a field full of 5 and 6-year olds playing a game. Aaron loved it when he was chosen to throw in from the side.

A couple of evenings later, Aaron played his last game for this year and they had a little award ceremony (everybody got a trophy) along with pizza and cupcakes. I am always impressed with adults that take the time and have the patience to work with children learning to play a sport or an instrument. We all started life with nothing but a beating heart and natural reflexes. It can take a lot of time and a patient teacher to help us achieve success at skills. As we develop, we each have different natural abilities. Aaron doesn't yet really get how to cooperate with teammates in order to achieve a goal, but he can run really fast! He is probably one of the most physically strong and capable of the children that I know. He was able to do pull-ups when he was very young and was walking, even running, at 8 months. Now he just needs to get his knowledge and social skills to catch up with his advanced physical abilities.
We also got to see Aaron's kindergarten classroom when they got their end-of-the year awards and little presents from their teacher followed by ice cream. They gave a little concert and all of the kids sang with the same enthusiasm as the kids that played soccer with Aaron. Aaron has a good voice and loves to sing, as does his little sister. I hope they both keep it up as they grow older. Their mother is certainly a good influence for the love of music! (She may have gotten that from her parents.....)

We're not done yet!

Lest anyone think we have finished working on this old house, I thought I would add another before-and-after blog. Initially we had not planned on doing much with the basement. It is, after all, just a basement. However, the torrential downpours of this spring resulted in some water actually "pouring down the walls" so we thought we should attempt to remedy the situation. This is what some of the basement looked like before we went to work on it.

This is another view, just with the door to the food storage room closed.We had to work on the section of the wall at the base of the stairs so we took out part of the wall for the storage area and removed the shelves that were pretty primitively stacked there. Russ spent a considerable number of hours pargeting (now the dictionary doesn't have that form of the word because it's French- to parget means to coat with a layer of masonry, in English we would add 'ing' to the verb so that's what I'm doing) the east and most of the north walls of the basement. A year or two ago he did the south wall because that was bad when we moved in. Following the parget, he painted with Dryloc, waterproofing paint. The original door to the storage area is now screwed shut and there is immediate access to that room at the bottom of the stairs.

This is the view from inside the storage area, showing the new shelves and nicely painted wall and stairs. The basement isn't nearly as spooky as it was when we had 3 poor, frightened granddaughters clean up the spider webs and put shelf paper on the shelves 3 years ago.

Oh, and not shown in the photos is the new drain pipe and gravel we put in at the base of the walls. It still feels damp in the basement. I don't know how we could ever avoid that when it has been raining nearly 6 days out of 7! But there isn't any running or standing water.

I'm sure it will be quite pleasant down there later, in the heat of the summer.

I wish I had a picture!

A few nights ago Russ and I had the privilege of attending a fireside (informal church meeting) in northern Kentucky. Our daughter-in-law, Victoria, had made the arrangements because it was within the boundaries of her stake (LDS church area). The meeting featured an amazing choir that Gladys Knight (of Motown fame) had put together and trained. As the members of the choir energetically walked through the crowd to the front of the chapel, It was startling to see the variety of people- black, Oriental, Polynesian, mostly white. When they started singing it was even more startling. Their accompaniment was in the form of two electric guitars and an electric keyboard- all played by black guys with long braided hair. Their expertise at playing the style of music they presented was not surprising. What was surprising was that the choir sounded like a black gospel choir (picture a movie like Sister Act). They had the inflection, dynamic changes, and pronunciations so perfectly! They sang some LDS familiar songs, but not at all like we usually sing them, but mostly spirituals and similar songs about Jesus. There was a man who spoke briefly to sort of explain the purpose of the fireside, which was to unify cultures, give Gladys Knight an opportunity to bear her testimony, and to teach about the gospel. I'm sure all the missionaries in attendance will remember it as a highlight of their missions. I wish they could perform here in Dayton because I know they would be well received. Sister Knight spoke and was a true show person in that she thrilled the audience. But she was sincere and inspiring. I know there were people there who are not YET LDS but I have no doubt they will be meeting with missionaries after that meeting.
I am truly grateful for the variety of talents with which the Lord has blessed his children. I am even more grateful for those who share and improve their talents rather than hiding them. YouTube has become another remarkable source of great talent-sharing. The Lord is separating the wheat and tares, but we get to choose which we want to be by the way we live.

Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad!

Modern technology is truly amazing. I can show you this photograph that was taken sometime in the early 1950's. Clayt and Gerri Bowker had been married more than 5 years at this point and are standing in front of the house Clayt built with the help of brothers, his father, and probably others. Gerri had had at least 3 kids at this point, and probably 4. Since I don't have the exact date of the photo, I can't say for sure. They are on Rochester Street in Dryden, NY.

More recently, this picture was taken in the nursing home where my mother is staying in Sun City, Arizona- nearly a large continent away and many years later. The pictures can not completely do justice to all that these two have accomplished in the 64 years they have been married. They have traveled, served their communities and God, loved family and friends, and done lots of wonderful things. It hasn't all been fun or happy. That's about what life is like for everybody, isn't it? Today I want to wish my parents a very happy anniversary. It would be nice if our bodies didn't get old and infirm to limit what we can do. But their spirits are vibrant, loving, and good. I love you, Mom and Dad. Russ does, too- and so do James and Susanne and kids, Scott and Angela and kids, Ammon and Victoria and kids, and Lisa and Keith and kids and a WHOLE BUNCH OF PEOPLE presently living as well as gone on to a better world.