Living here in Sun City I see people all around me who are nearing the end of life. It's sobering to see the end results of people's choices through their life. Some are permanently attached to a canister of oxygen which they drag around everywhere they go. I have even seen people who unhook themselves from oxygen so they can smoke a cigarette. (Addiction is so sad.) Some walk around with pieces of their face and bodies carved out to try to stop the spread of melanoma. There are power scooters everywhere. Most people using them are definitely overweight. You can't help but wonder if they are obese because they don't walk or they have reached a point where they can't walk because they're obese. Maybe a little of both. I recognize that not all health problems are a result of a conscious choice. Probably most are simply due to genetics and/or old age. It's heart-rending to watch a frail white-haired lady open the back of an SUV to remove a wheelchair for her husband who is just a little more feeble than she is. It's sad to watch someone wearing thick glasses have to us a lighted magnifying glass to read. I hear the grief in the voice of someone calling to ask for a ride to the doctor or pharmacy because they can no longer drive. Every day as Russ and I visit Mom in a care facility I see people who have permanent and sometimes drastic limitations, physically and mentally. Sometimes they aren't aware of their loss, and that's actually a blessing. Some people live quite a long time with problems that curtail their full enjoyment of so many of life's opportunities and experiences that most people take for granted- like seeing a field of flowers, walking hand in hand with a loved one, hearing or singing a song, or feeding themselves and being able to wipe their own mouth. Many people fear death because they're not sure what happens when someone dies. That fear is part of the reason people react the way they do to death. But really, death is NOT the worst thing that can happen to a person. Sure, you can mourn the "lost opportunities" in life and those who remain alive mourn the loss of the company of a loved one who has left this life. It is certainly very final, at least for now. But a much heavier burden is living every day with the knowledge that, not only are you never going to get better, you will continue to deteriorate as all human bodies do.
I am so glad to know about resurrection. I'm glad to know there is more to me than this slowly decaying mass of clay I am currently inhabiting. I am grateful to know that those who suffer through this life will have a much more glorious existence some day.
Monday, April 29, 2013
Friday, April 26, 2013
Higher motivation
I firmly believe that what we choose to do is only secondary in importance to why we choose to do it. I realized early on in my child-rearing days that when kids did a task simply because they were told, coerced, or even bribed to do it, they didn't often do it as well as they could have. When I could manage to figure out how to have them find their own inner motivation, they worked more diligently resulting in a better outcome. I recall visiting the home of a family with many children. Prominently displayed on a wall in each room was a sign which announced to all "This room maintained by....." and a child's name, or sometimes two children's names, were listed. The house seemed fairly neat for having such a large family living in it. I hoped these signs did the job of creating a sense of pride in one's work that precluded having to have a parent watching over their shoulders or inspecting their work.
Simple obedience will result in a task being accomplished but a better, higher motivation will result in the task being done well, to the performer's best ability. Unfortunately, due to our independent natures, very few human beings allow an outside influence to instill that kind of desire in us. We have to find it for ourselves. Hence, sometimes a house is only cleaned when an important visitor will be arriving. Or a job is well done when there is a possibility of promotion. Or a uniform is clean and boots polished before an inspection. (Not everything we do every day requires a herculean effort. When I butter my toast for breakfast I may not get it evenly spread. When I fold my underwear, it may not be done well. That is all okay.)
This same principle applies to the sum of our life in general. We may arrive at our death bed feeling that we aren't ready to "face our Maker", but it's a little late to do a whirlwind cleaning job. Too often I hear people (especially men) express regret for not having spent much time with their children before they have grown and left home. The movie "Bucket List" made an entertaining statement about deciding before you die what it is that you want to be able to say you accomplished. It's fun to set goals like sky-diving or seeing the Great Wall of China. But, when we "meet our Maker", is it really going to matter if we did anything like that? The part of us that goes on for eternity is not going to be enriched as much by movies we have seen or even pictures we have painted as it will be by decisions we have made. Did we go to the movies because we wanted to spend time with someone we love and maybe learn something, or because we wanted to be entertained? Did we sky-dive because we wanted to overcome a fear and show courage and enjoy an experience, or was it to impress others? We are truly masters of our own destiny. It's a good idea to ponder early in our journey where we want to end up, before it's over and we aren't where we wanted to be.
Simple obedience will result in a task being accomplished but a better, higher motivation will result in the task being done well, to the performer's best ability. Unfortunately, due to our independent natures, very few human beings allow an outside influence to instill that kind of desire in us. We have to find it for ourselves. Hence, sometimes a house is only cleaned when an important visitor will be arriving. Or a job is well done when there is a possibility of promotion. Or a uniform is clean and boots polished before an inspection. (Not everything we do every day requires a herculean effort. When I butter my toast for breakfast I may not get it evenly spread. When I fold my underwear, it may not be done well. That is all okay.)
This same principle applies to the sum of our life in general. We may arrive at our death bed feeling that we aren't ready to "face our Maker", but it's a little late to do a whirlwind cleaning job. Too often I hear people (especially men) express regret for not having spent much time with their children before they have grown and left home. The movie "Bucket List" made an entertaining statement about deciding before you die what it is that you want to be able to say you accomplished. It's fun to set goals like sky-diving or seeing the Great Wall of China. But, when we "meet our Maker", is it really going to matter if we did anything like that? The part of us that goes on for eternity is not going to be enriched as much by movies we have seen or even pictures we have painted as it will be by decisions we have made. Did we go to the movies because we wanted to spend time with someone we love and maybe learn something, or because we wanted to be entertained? Did we sky-dive because we wanted to overcome a fear and show courage and enjoy an experience, or was it to impress others? We are truly masters of our own destiny. It's a good idea to ponder early in our journey where we want to end up, before it's over and we aren't where we wanted to be.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
When "bad" things happen
I have watched loved ones deal with adversities of all kinds. My heart ached for them and I did whatever I could to help. Sometimes all I could do was hold them and cry with them. When things are tough we all have a tendency to cry in anguish, "Why?" or plead with God to remove the trial ASAP.
I have also watched some young women I love struggle to prepare to run a race. They would have days when they really didn't feel like running. As they ran they would have to cheer themselves on. The result of fighting to win this battle was greater physical strength and endurance. My husband always used to say, "I hate running but I love having run." He enjoyed the confidence and pleasure gained by accomplishing something difficult.
Hebrews 12:11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous; nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.
Every time we overcome feelings of despair, discouragement, or self-doubt, we feel relief when the trial is over but, more importantly, we have the opportunity to recognize a strength we may not have believed we had. We are God's children and have the potential to be like Him. He has even admonished us to do that. Jesus said, "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect." I don't know whether there is anyone alive who truly feels capable of doing that, especially when faced with challenges or trials. But once we have made it to the other side of a hardship, we can say, "I made it." We can acknowledge help from our Father in accomplishing the journey, but we still had to pick up each foot and take the steps. If we never have our strength challenged, how can we build it? If we live a pleasant, easy life centered only on the minimum effort to survive and focus on being comfortable and well-entertained, how can we ever be capable of taking on the responsibility of inheriting all our Father has, as He has promised the valiantly obedient? The only way we can know how strong we are and how much we can rely on the Lord to share the yoke is to be tested. As strange as it may seem, the more our Father loves us, the more He wants to share with us, the more we have to strain and struggle. Ultimately, being soft and pampered will NOT benefit us. Quite the opposite, it will destroy us. He has given us the opportunity to choose. We can choose captivity (enslavement to our appetites) and death, or righteousness and eternal life with God, Jesus, and all those who would be valiant in defending truth and righteousness. I pray we can all comprehend the benefits of learning and experiencing so we can grow in strength and wisdom and, ultimately, live forever with others who would choose the same. For now, that would make THIS world a much better place to live.
I have also watched some young women I love struggle to prepare to run a race. They would have days when they really didn't feel like running. As they ran they would have to cheer themselves on. The result of fighting to win this battle was greater physical strength and endurance. My husband always used to say, "I hate running but I love having run." He enjoyed the confidence and pleasure gained by accomplishing something difficult.
Hebrews 12:11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous; nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.
Every time we overcome feelings of despair, discouragement, or self-doubt, we feel relief when the trial is over but, more importantly, we have the opportunity to recognize a strength we may not have believed we had. We are God's children and have the potential to be like Him. He has even admonished us to do that. Jesus said, "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect." I don't know whether there is anyone alive who truly feels capable of doing that, especially when faced with challenges or trials. But once we have made it to the other side of a hardship, we can say, "I made it." We can acknowledge help from our Father in accomplishing the journey, but we still had to pick up each foot and take the steps. If we never have our strength challenged, how can we build it? If we live a pleasant, easy life centered only on the minimum effort to survive and focus on being comfortable and well-entertained, how can we ever be capable of taking on the responsibility of inheriting all our Father has, as He has promised the valiantly obedient? The only way we can know how strong we are and how much we can rely on the Lord to share the yoke is to be tested. As strange as it may seem, the more our Father loves us, the more He wants to share with us, the more we have to strain and struggle. Ultimately, being soft and pampered will NOT benefit us. Quite the opposite, it will destroy us. He has given us the opportunity to choose. We can choose captivity (enslavement to our appetites) and death, or righteousness and eternal life with God, Jesus, and all those who would be valiant in defending truth and righteousness. I pray we can all comprehend the benefits of learning and experiencing so we can grow in strength and wisdom and, ultimately, live forever with others who would choose the same. For now, that would make THIS world a much better place to live.
Friday, April 12, 2013
What we can learn-
In the New Testament, Book of Luke chapter 24, the story is told of 2 of Jesus' disciples walking along the road to Emmaus. A man joined them in walking and they began telling him about why they were sad. He started expounding scripture to them to the point that, when they reached the village, they wanted him to stay with them. When the man blessed and broke bread with them, they suddenly realized who it was, "And their eyes were opened", and he "vanished out of their sight".
In the Book of Mormon, Book of Ether, the brother of Jared was working on a problem (having light in a closed up boat crossing the ocean). He had an idea which would require an ability beyond his own. So he went to the Lord to request that the Lord touch stones he had collected to make them glow. He said, "Behold, O Lord, thou canst do this. We know that thou art able to show forth great power, which looks small unto the understanding of men." Then the Lord reached forth his finger to touch the stones. When he did so, "the veil was taken from off the eyes of the brother of Jared, and he saw the finger of the Lord". The man's faith was such that the Lord said, "Because of thy faith thou hast seen that I shall take upon me flesh and blood; and never has man come before me with such exceeding faith as thou hast; for were it not so ye could not have seen my finger."
In the Pearl of Great Price, in the Book of Moses, Moses records his experience with the Lord at a time when he was caught up to an exceedingly high mountain. Moses was in the presence of God who showed him the creation of the world. After some time spent with God, Moses fell upon the ground, lacking his natural strength. When he finally recovered, he said, "Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed. But now mine own eyes have beheld God; but not my natural but my spiritual eyes, for my natural eyes could not have beheld; for I should have withered and died in his presence; but his glory was upon me; and I beheld his face, for I was transfigured before him."
In the Doctrine and Covenants, Section 131 says, "There is no such thing as immaterial matter. All spirit is matter, but it is more fine or pure, and can only be discerned by purer eyes; We cannot see it; but when our bodies are purified we shall see that it is all matter."
The structure and processes in the brain are so fine that the length of a wave of naturally visible light is too blunt to probe it. It has only been since the invention of the electron microscope and other advanced devices that men have been able to discover exactly what goes on in the brain. It has been there the whole time, we just haven't had the ability to discern it. There has even been a section of the brain determined as the location of spiritual thought or process or experience.
Recently there have been many books published by people who have had "near-death experiences" and other opportunities to "visit" an unseen world. These are not like novels or ghost stories. They are actual experiences describing conversations and things seen and felt NOT in the world we see and feel every day. These people did not have it in mind to publish a book in hopes of making a lot of money. Quite the opposite according to what they all claim.
I think it's exciting to have access to so many testimonies that there IS a God, that Jesus did live on this earth then die and was resurrected, and that there is life beyond what our primitive eyes, ears, and other senses can detect. It's also exciting to know that God wants us to understand it, but He won't just hand it to us without any effort on our part. As a parent and teacher in general, I know that the most effective, indeed the ONLY real learning takes place when someone WANTS to know. The door to understanding must be opened from inside, otherwise everything thrown at the door from the outside just bounces off and has no long-term effect. God desires to give us everything He has and He has promised to do so. We just have to have a sincere desire to receive it, and be willing to accept it line upon line, precept upon precept as we are capable of understanding.
In the Book of Mormon, Book of Ether, the brother of Jared was working on a problem (having light in a closed up boat crossing the ocean). He had an idea which would require an ability beyond his own. So he went to the Lord to request that the Lord touch stones he had collected to make them glow. He said, "Behold, O Lord, thou canst do this. We know that thou art able to show forth great power, which looks small unto the understanding of men." Then the Lord reached forth his finger to touch the stones. When he did so, "the veil was taken from off the eyes of the brother of Jared, and he saw the finger of the Lord". The man's faith was such that the Lord said, "Because of thy faith thou hast seen that I shall take upon me flesh and blood; and never has man come before me with such exceeding faith as thou hast; for were it not so ye could not have seen my finger."
In the Pearl of Great Price, in the Book of Moses, Moses records his experience with the Lord at a time when he was caught up to an exceedingly high mountain. Moses was in the presence of God who showed him the creation of the world. After some time spent with God, Moses fell upon the ground, lacking his natural strength. When he finally recovered, he said, "Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed. But now mine own eyes have beheld God; but not my natural but my spiritual eyes, for my natural eyes could not have beheld; for I should have withered and died in his presence; but his glory was upon me; and I beheld his face, for I was transfigured before him."
In the Doctrine and Covenants, Section 131 says, "There is no such thing as immaterial matter. All spirit is matter, but it is more fine or pure, and can only be discerned by purer eyes; We cannot see it; but when our bodies are purified we shall see that it is all matter."
The structure and processes in the brain are so fine that the length of a wave of naturally visible light is too blunt to probe it. It has only been since the invention of the electron microscope and other advanced devices that men have been able to discover exactly what goes on in the brain. It has been there the whole time, we just haven't had the ability to discern it. There has even been a section of the brain determined as the location of spiritual thought or process or experience.
Recently there have been many books published by people who have had "near-death experiences" and other opportunities to "visit" an unseen world. These are not like novels or ghost stories. They are actual experiences describing conversations and things seen and felt NOT in the world we see and feel every day. These people did not have it in mind to publish a book in hopes of making a lot of money. Quite the opposite according to what they all claim.
I think it's exciting to have access to so many testimonies that there IS a God, that Jesus did live on this earth then die and was resurrected, and that there is life beyond what our primitive eyes, ears, and other senses can detect. It's also exciting to know that God wants us to understand it, but He won't just hand it to us without any effort on our part. As a parent and teacher in general, I know that the most effective, indeed the ONLY real learning takes place when someone WANTS to know. The door to understanding must be opened from inside, otherwise everything thrown at the door from the outside just bounces off and has no long-term effect. God desires to give us everything He has and He has promised to do so. We just have to have a sincere desire to receive it, and be willing to accept it line upon line, precept upon precept as we are capable of understanding.
Thursday, April 04, 2013
What do you know?
I have always found it a major discrepancy that the federal government and even state governments spend money on anti-smoking ads while tobacco farmers are subsidized to continue to raise tobacco. It's also ironic that government sponsored gambling (Lotto) is on the rise while there are so many programs to help with gambling addiction. If something has been determined to do real harm to people, why promote it? Abortion is labelled a "woman's choice" as a form of birth control yet if a pregnant woman is killed, the law can allot the perpetrator 2 counts of murder, one for the mother and one for the unborn child. So is it just a mass of tissue like a tumor to be removed on demand or is it a human being? We all have a US Constitutional right, as well as a God-given right, to freedom. But how far does that go? I once had a little poster that said, "Your right to swing your fist ends at my nose." It's a trite little saying but it still doesn't exactly explain the limits of freedom.
The most recent issue that really scares me is a result of research on PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). It has been noted that some soldiers return from war badly scarred emotionally and mentally. Others, no matter what physical scars they may have, manage to get on with their lives with very little problem. So the suggestion is to look for the genetic make-up that causes the ones who cope with death and destruction and earmark them for going into battle. On the surface, that seems somewhat logical. After all, war among human beings seems unfortunately unavoidable. So what we need is a "master race" of soldiers? During the Viet Nam era, Arlo Guthrie was well known for his "Alice's Restaurant" which talked about getting drafted. He figured at one point in the narration that if he talked and acted like he wanted to maim and kill he might be turned away as a lunatic. There is a really fine line between being able to recognize someone who can kill others without remorse and someone who looks forward to killing.
All of these issues are the source of much heated political discussion. Since we are all different, there are proponents of both sides and everywhere in between. Personally, I figure that alcohol and tobacco do lots of harm and, other than use as a drug to calm or excite, they aren't worth having around. We ought to uncover the strength within us to find self-motivation. And I wish people would take the ability to make more humans seriously rather than just as a form of entertainment that sometimes has undesirable consequences. (I'm not talking about the innocent who are accosted by an angry rapist or immoral relative. And, of course, there is the issue of possible danger to a woman's life but that should be determined solely by the individuals involved- mother, father, doctor.)As for the "good soldiers" issue, I certainly wish we could get along without weapons and destruction. Since we can't, I think our natural abhorrence toward ending another human life should not be genetically encouraged to disappear. A good friend has repeatedly mentioned that it's not WHO is right, but WHAT is right. It isn't just a matter of who has the better lawyer with the better argument. Fortunately, there is a higher intelligence that we can access. Each of us is born with the light of Christ in us, no matter what country or religion or gender. And we have been encouraged over the millenia to seek God's counsel through prayer.
Centuries ago, the prophet Isaiah was warning of the results of thinking we know it all and ignoring God. "Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter." (Is 5:20) When any man, or woman, lacks wisdom, they should ask God who gives liberally. He wants us to be wiser and is more than willing to teach us. But we have to want to learn. Then when we all learn what God knows, we won't have war, or abortion, or rape, or drugs.......
The most recent issue that really scares me is a result of research on PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). It has been noted that some soldiers return from war badly scarred emotionally and mentally. Others, no matter what physical scars they may have, manage to get on with their lives with very little problem. So the suggestion is to look for the genetic make-up that causes the ones who cope with death and destruction and earmark them for going into battle. On the surface, that seems somewhat logical. After all, war among human beings seems unfortunately unavoidable. So what we need is a "master race" of soldiers? During the Viet Nam era, Arlo Guthrie was well known for his "Alice's Restaurant" which talked about getting drafted. He figured at one point in the narration that if he talked and acted like he wanted to maim and kill he might be turned away as a lunatic. There is a really fine line between being able to recognize someone who can kill others without remorse and someone who looks forward to killing.
All of these issues are the source of much heated political discussion. Since we are all different, there are proponents of both sides and everywhere in between. Personally, I figure that alcohol and tobacco do lots of harm and, other than use as a drug to calm or excite, they aren't worth having around. We ought to uncover the strength within us to find self-motivation. And I wish people would take the ability to make more humans seriously rather than just as a form of entertainment that sometimes has undesirable consequences. (I'm not talking about the innocent who are accosted by an angry rapist or immoral relative. And, of course, there is the issue of possible danger to a woman's life but that should be determined solely by the individuals involved- mother, father, doctor.)As for the "good soldiers" issue, I certainly wish we could get along without weapons and destruction. Since we can't, I think our natural abhorrence toward ending another human life should not be genetically encouraged to disappear. A good friend has repeatedly mentioned that it's not WHO is right, but WHAT is right. It isn't just a matter of who has the better lawyer with the better argument. Fortunately, there is a higher intelligence that we can access. Each of us is born with the light of Christ in us, no matter what country or religion or gender. And we have been encouraged over the millenia to seek God's counsel through prayer.
Centuries ago, the prophet Isaiah was warning of the results of thinking we know it all and ignoring God. "Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter." (Is 5:20) When any man, or woman, lacks wisdom, they should ask God who gives liberally. He wants us to be wiser and is more than willing to teach us. But we have to want to learn. Then when we all learn what God knows, we won't have war, or abortion, or rape, or drugs.......
What a way to live!
Russ and I just returned from Ohio. It was a bittersweet journey. We were so happy to attend the baptism of Ammon's middle son, Kadon, and it was wonderful to be able to spend time with Victoria, Kevin, and the kids. Then we spent a few days with the terHorsts which was also wonderful. We couldn't love their family more if they were blood-relatives. Those were the sweet parts.
The bitter part was driving up to Dayton from Cincinnati. Memories of Ammon's death flooded us while in that area. Then when we got to the house we had struggled to rehabilitate and left in the most immaculate condition possible was a real downer. There weren't a lot of holes in the walls but the house was filthy. I realize that I am considered an obsessive cleaner but I'm really not! I only clean enough to maintain well. I spent two long days just trying to get the kitchen reasonably clean. I was beset with frustrated thoughts of people who excuse poor housecleaning habits with everything from, "It's just not something I like to do" to " I don't have time". For any males that would question the need to clean regularly and thoroughly, I would have to ask, "If you had a vehicle, would you avoid cleaning it except when you want to show it off to someone or sell it?" What condition would it be in if you did that? The stove in the house was obviously not cleaned regularly. I had to use a razor blade to scrape the heavy layers of grease off the burners that had built up over the last 2 years and even at that, I didn't get them totally clean. I went through 3 steel wool pads and sprayed the oven twice. When I first opened it, I saw that it had been sprayed with oven cleaner but never wiped. There was a black line of thick, hard goo around the edges of the floor at the bottom of the cove base. I'm only giving a few details to make it easier to imagine what I was dealing with. I just don't understand how anyone can live with such filth. It can't be possible to NOT see it! Is it the renter's mentality of, "It will just need to be replaced rather than my having to work at keeping it clean"?? But the woman living there was SUPPOSED to be buying the house! Is it a "union" mentality of, "It's not my job"?? How dirty does a place have to be to justify cleaning it? Once it is a certain level of filthy, it almost CAN'T be cleaned because it is simply ruined and so caked on that it's impossible to get it clean.
I realize I am ranting. I don't know if anyone will ever read this anyway so I guess I'm just getting some frustration off my chest. I'm reminded of the Lord's advice to the early Latter-Day Saints in May of 1831. They were just arriving to Ohio and He said to them, "I consecrate unto them this land for a little season, until I, the Lord, shall provide for them otherwise and command them to go hence: And the hour and the day is not given unto them, wherefore let them act upon this land as for years, and this shall turn unto them for their good." (D&C 51:16-17) I can understand some reasons why the Lord would have told them that. First of all, it's a good thing to take care of property no matter how long you're going to inhabit it. It's just being responsible. Adults should be responsible in taking care of property. Second of all, it's good to learn how to take care of property, inside and out. Some day, even people who move a lot, will live in one place for long enough for the filth to accumulate if not removed regularly. Every living creature creates filth. If we don't take responsibility to remove it, it builds up. That means it is being left for someone else to deal with. It's hard not to resent being one of the "someone elses"! I don't like to work any harder than necessary. If you don't clean a little bit on a regular basis, then you have to work hard at it eventually, OR leave it expecting someone else to do it. That goes for trimming a lawn and pulling weeds as well as cleaning the edges and corners in rooms.
I am truly proud of my children. They know how to clean and they do it. They don't leave filth for someone else to have to clean up after them. When they were young they complained like kids do but I taught them anyway and expected them to help all the while I explained to them why it just works better and is easier to keep up regular cleaning maintenance than to try to leave it for a gigantic chore on a rare occasion. Even my "adopted" son, John, cleans up after himself and knows how to clean thoroughly. It's always pleasant to go into my kids' homes because I don't have to be afraid to eat off surfaces or walk barefoot on floors or worry about where to sit to avoid getting my clothes dirty. Isn't it just nicer to live that way?????
The bitter part was driving up to Dayton from Cincinnati. Memories of Ammon's death flooded us while in that area. Then when we got to the house we had struggled to rehabilitate and left in the most immaculate condition possible was a real downer. There weren't a lot of holes in the walls but the house was filthy. I realize that I am considered an obsessive cleaner but I'm really not! I only clean enough to maintain well. I spent two long days just trying to get the kitchen reasonably clean. I was beset with frustrated thoughts of people who excuse poor housecleaning habits with everything from, "It's just not something I like to do" to " I don't have time". For any males that would question the need to clean regularly and thoroughly, I would have to ask, "If you had a vehicle, would you avoid cleaning it except when you want to show it off to someone or sell it?" What condition would it be in if you did that? The stove in the house was obviously not cleaned regularly. I had to use a razor blade to scrape the heavy layers of grease off the burners that had built up over the last 2 years and even at that, I didn't get them totally clean. I went through 3 steel wool pads and sprayed the oven twice. When I first opened it, I saw that it had been sprayed with oven cleaner but never wiped. There was a black line of thick, hard goo around the edges of the floor at the bottom of the cove base. I'm only giving a few details to make it easier to imagine what I was dealing with. I just don't understand how anyone can live with such filth. It can't be possible to NOT see it! Is it the renter's mentality of, "It will just need to be replaced rather than my having to work at keeping it clean"?? But the woman living there was SUPPOSED to be buying the house! Is it a "union" mentality of, "It's not my job"?? How dirty does a place have to be to justify cleaning it? Once it is a certain level of filthy, it almost CAN'T be cleaned because it is simply ruined and so caked on that it's impossible to get it clean.
I realize I am ranting. I don't know if anyone will ever read this anyway so I guess I'm just getting some frustration off my chest. I'm reminded of the Lord's advice to the early Latter-Day Saints in May of 1831. They were just arriving to Ohio and He said to them, "I consecrate unto them this land for a little season, until I, the Lord, shall provide for them otherwise and command them to go hence: And the hour and the day is not given unto them, wherefore let them act upon this land as for years, and this shall turn unto them for their good." (D&C 51:16-17) I can understand some reasons why the Lord would have told them that. First of all, it's a good thing to take care of property no matter how long you're going to inhabit it. It's just being responsible. Adults should be responsible in taking care of property. Second of all, it's good to learn how to take care of property, inside and out. Some day, even people who move a lot, will live in one place for long enough for the filth to accumulate if not removed regularly. Every living creature creates filth. If we don't take responsibility to remove it, it builds up. That means it is being left for someone else to deal with. It's hard not to resent being one of the "someone elses"! I don't like to work any harder than necessary. If you don't clean a little bit on a regular basis, then you have to work hard at it eventually, OR leave it expecting someone else to do it. That goes for trimming a lawn and pulling weeds as well as cleaning the edges and corners in rooms.
I am truly proud of my children. They know how to clean and they do it. They don't leave filth for someone else to have to clean up after them. When they were young they complained like kids do but I taught them anyway and expected them to help all the while I explained to them why it just works better and is easier to keep up regular cleaning maintenance than to try to leave it for a gigantic chore on a rare occasion. Even my "adopted" son, John, cleans up after himself and knows how to clean thoroughly. It's always pleasant to go into my kids' homes because I don't have to be afraid to eat off surfaces or walk barefoot on floors or worry about where to sit to avoid getting my clothes dirty. Isn't it just nicer to live that way?????
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Sometimes
It's really a relief when you can share a sorrow or worry with someone you can trust- trust to keep it confidential, trust that they are strong enough to help carry your burden, trust that they will be honest with you enough to tell you when you're over-reacting, trust that they will offer you encouragement when you need it- to do what is right even if it's hard. That person can be a friend, or spouse, or any family member you feel comfortable with. They are truly a blessing in life. It can be a great relief just to speak out loud the weight you feel on your soul or the whirlwind of worry in your mind. Even if your confidante can't really help in any concrete way, it feels good to just "get it off your chest", being the heavy weight that it is.
But sometimes, there really isn't anyone you can share with- either the issue is too close to you or you fear the burden may be too much for anyone else, or you are at a time and place devoid of a close friend. Others who care about you may notice your pain to the degree that they comment that you don't laugh like you used to or you seem preoccupied. It is tempting to just blurt out what's bothering you, but sometimes it could do more harm than good. Sometimes you can fear opening a Pandora's box, so to speak. Sometimes you may want to avoid "spreading the battle" so others are forced to take sides.
I am truly grateful for prayer. I am grateful to know there is someone bigger, smarter, and more powerful than I am who knows EVERYTHING. I am grateful to know there is someone who can see in my heart and mind to know me as I am, to know what my sincere intentions are, without prejudice or misunderstanding. I am grateful for the opportunity to seek greater insight and wisdom that I lack. I am grateful for the peace and comfort I can receive when I am lonely and cry desperately in the night. I am grateful for God.
But sometimes, there really isn't anyone you can share with- either the issue is too close to you or you fear the burden may be too much for anyone else, or you are at a time and place devoid of a close friend. Others who care about you may notice your pain to the degree that they comment that you don't laugh like you used to or you seem preoccupied. It is tempting to just blurt out what's bothering you, but sometimes it could do more harm than good. Sometimes you can fear opening a Pandora's box, so to speak. Sometimes you may want to avoid "spreading the battle" so others are forced to take sides.
I am truly grateful for prayer. I am grateful to know there is someone bigger, smarter, and more powerful than I am who knows EVERYTHING. I am grateful to know there is someone who can see in my heart and mind to know me as I am, to know what my sincere intentions are, without prejudice or misunderstanding. I am grateful for the opportunity to seek greater insight and wisdom that I lack. I am grateful for the peace and comfort I can receive when I am lonely and cry desperately in the night. I am grateful for God.
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