Fun and frustration

I didn't have it in mind originally but after doing the blog about being with Angela (and family) then the traveling with James, I began to ponder how each of my children, as adults, have enriched my life the most. Angela has been encouraging to any artistic leanings I have and James has broadened my international experiences. Ammon, though personally no longer a part of my mortal life experiences, has enriched my life and- through his family- continues to enrich my life.

 Even as a baby, Ammon laughed more than any of my other children. He loved playing games, to the point that he got a little intense about winning. More than once we had to remind him that winning wasn't worth cheating. Still, as he grew up, he continued to play games but with a better attitude about winning. The night he died, Russ and I were on our way to spend the night with him and his family having dinner then playing games. Ultimately, I like to think we laughed with Ammon more than we got frustrated with him over the course of his too-short lifespan. Now we have his three children to enjoy. They are the genetic results of two intense, passionate, fun-loving people in their mother and father. From their excitement to throw themselves into our arms when visiting "Grandma and Grandpa" to just the thrill of life, they are a lot of fun! The flip side is that they can be just as passionate about being stubborn or rebellious. Fun and frustrating .................

Part of who I am

I don't know where it came from. I was watching some young Greek dancers at a local festival (sponsored by and for the benefit of a Greek Orthodox Church) after having wolfed down a gyro and a baklava ice cream sundae, and I realized how much I enjoy so many aspects of international culture. I remember my mother opening our home to foreign exchange students when I was young. They never came for a full year but we had lots of kids from countries all over the world stay with us off and on, especially during summers, for a few days at a time. I was a part of an experimental program to start foreign languages at elementary level and learned a smattering of French then Spanish. I loved it. I never went abroad myself, though. I got to see a very little bit of Mexico, just over the border, on a trip with my parents when I was around 6 or 7. I got as far north as the St. Lawrence Seaway a few years later but I didn't even get to Niagara Falls.
When I married Russ, he made it clear that he would be willing to travel around our country but had no interest in getting a passport and going where they spoke a different language. So I resigned myself to looking through National Geographic magazines, trying to remember the French I learned, and supporting a local organization (AFS) for high school student exchange programs. Any time I saw the word "international", I was intrigued- a program, a book, even stores like Pier One Imports. I loved to see what to me were strange fashions and very different architecture or home decor. I can tell you flat-out that God is aware of us personally. He saw to it that I got to travel and see and experience despite having a husband who initially wasn't interested and an income that would not normally allow much travel in the U.S. much less internationally. When Russ auditioned for and made it into the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, we found out that in less than a year they would be touring Europe. We scrambled to raise enough money (with the Lord's help in providing a major sewing job for me to earn a large sum of money- He doesn't grow money on trees, you know) for me to go for most of the tour, starting on a cruise ship in Italy which stopped in several cities along the Mediterranean: Italy, France, then Spain. We got off the ship and rode in buses overland to Madrid then to Portugal and flew home. It was wonderful! I wasn't set on buying a ton of souvenirs because my memories were more important and most of what we could afford anyway. Russ willingly went on an island-hopping Caribbean cruise with me and most of my family and found it wasn't so bad being out of the U.S..  I also got to visit my parents while they were serving an LDS mission in Tonga and loved it. Then I had no hesitation in going to Guam all by myself for the birth of a grandchild, although I was too late for the actual birth.
But I have to acknowledge that my greatest opportunities for international travel have come through my firstborn, James. He somehow inherited my international fascination and managed to earn his way to be an exchange student to Germany while in high school. After a year outside the country, he never stayed in the U.S. for very many years in a row, except to complete his education. Even then, he spent a semester at the BYU Jerusalem Center. His wife is a native German, though you'd never know it upon talking to her. She managed to become fluent in English speaking with absolutely no detectable German accent. She has embraced his career in the State Dept. which involves living in different countries every couple of years. Their family has hosted us in Switzerland (and to Germany), Jordan, Lithuania (and through Estonia and Latvia to Finland), Germany again (and to Italy as well as all around Germany), and most recently to Israel and through Jordan to Egypt. I have loved every minute of trudging up and down hills and mountains, through castles and ruins, hearing different kinds of music, eating all kinds of different cuisines, and seeing sites I had previously only seen in movies, on tv or in National Geographics. So if you have a worthwhile dream, don't give up on it no matter how impossible it may seem. You have a Heavenly Father who really would like you to be happy and as long as it doesn't involve anything that might impede your eternal progression, you're very likely to receive wonderful, unexpected blessings. Wait for it.......................................

More Louisiana activities

We really appreciate Angela's creativity and interest in expanding abilities. We were fortunate enough to be included in her latest addition to her skills. Near the base is a "Glass Emporium" which is, in itself, unusual. For Angela it is fortuitous. Angela started working with stained glass several years ago now and has blessed many people and homes and even a museum with her excellent skill. This place in Louisiana offered the opportunity to teach, in one evening, how to blow glass ornaments. Russ, Angela, Scott, Tanis, and I all got to experience it. We mostly succeeded, having really messed up only a few. The first picture is Russ and me heating the glass tubes in preparation for blowing the bulb shape.

 During this phase you also have the opportunity to attach, on the inside, some colored bits of glass to make the ornament more colorful and unique. Then when the little pieces are melted onto the inside and the glass is hot, you blow into it like Angela is doing here. It's very much like blowing up a kid's water balloon. You have to blow hard at first but then be careful you don't blow too long because you can explode it!

 I helped Angela by piecing a back for the beautiful train quilt she made Martin. I didn't get a picture of that. But here is what Russ spent several hours doing- making Lego tables- in the end there was 60+ square feet of table space for construction along with shelves and storage racks underneath. They have LOTS of Legos. We stopped counting only the little Lego guys at over 200!

All the space is already filled with a train that loops around an airport, a construction scene, a village, and I don't know what all..................

Louisiana

We are getting really bad about taking pictures even at a time when people with phone cameras are flooding the internet with selfies. We have only documented a few of our activities for our recent stay with Angela's family in Louisiana for over a month. The first photo is celebrating Martin's birthday which was a couple of weeks after we arrived. The first couple of weeks were spent enjoying Christmas and a visit from Victoria, Jeremy, Kadon, and Brooklyn. We went horseback riding, to a science museum, out to eat a couple of times, put together a puzzle, and generally enjoyed being together as a family.

These next two pictures are from Angela and me driving from Shreveport to Little Rock, Arkansas just to get our hair done! Seriously, we wanted to see our good friend Jennifer who always did our hair when we lived in Ohio. It was wonderful to see her again and we enjoyed it enough to justify spending all day driving there, having our hair done, eating lunch, and driving back again.

The first picture is "before" and the second "after", in case you couldn't tell.

Labels on boxes

When we pack boxes to move, we generally write labels on them so we will know where to put them when we arrive at a new home or maybe even know which box to look in if we need to find something. Anyone who has ever done this realizes that sometimes an inappropriate item may get placed in a box simply because the box it should have gone in is full or has already been taped. We have always packed and moved ourselves but our children, who move frequently due to government positions, have had experience with packers and movers. Some of the labels on boxes have been pretty funny when the boxes get opened and the contents examined. Labeling boxes is a way to organize or simplify our lives.
Recently we had the opportunity to attend a "World Religion Day" which was a gathering of representatives from several different churches, or "belief systems" for the purpose of education and dialogue. Differences in religious beliefs have been a cause for much contention over the history of the earth. There are so many people on the earth and each person is different so the varieties of opinion and belief are countless! It's not likely that we are going to "convert" everybody to our belief on all issues but it's worthwhile to at least explain to others what we believe and maybe why. At this event there was a panel discussion on the questions, "What can we do to heal the earth? What are you willing to give up to accomplish it?" There is a general awareness that there are some serious issues ecologically for the planet as well as issues of violence, justice, and need for peace between human beings. As vague as it may sound, the most likely solution that was offered and with which I agree, is LOVE: love of the earth to take care of it and love of fellow men to live with them rather than compete or rule over them. I spoke to a representative of one of the churches afterward who had especially worded this idea well. I told her I had recently visited Jerusalem and had wanted to describe a little of what I saw and felt there but the time in the meeting wasn't sufficient to do so. I tried to explain in few words that the biggest problem I could see was NOT between any 2 specific religions but was due to our tendency to pre-judge according to labels we place on people. The labels we use are determined by gender, nationality, political and religious affiliations, as well as cultural preferences. The problem with those labels is that, much as it gives us the feeling that we "know" who a person is, it is often inaccurate. We too often tend to try to put people in a box where they don't fit. At this point in the conversation, the woman, previously totally unknown to me, said the same words at the same time which indicated to me that she fully understood what I was saying. We both smiled at this chance converging of understanding and hugged each other. I don't even remember the name of the church she was there to represent and I don't know whether she will remember that I am LDS. It doesn't matter. The names we use are just labels and not everyone who receives such labels is the same. There are a wide variety of Mormons, a wide variety of Jews, Catholics, Muslims, Hindus, Baptists, Jehovah Witnesses, and on and on. We tend to embrace whichever established belief system most closely matches our personal beliefs. But not one of us on the earth has all knowledge..........yet. God has promised to share with us all that He has- which is a LOT! But we don't have it yet and wouldn't know what to do with it if we had. Line upon line, precept upon precept, we will gain all that the Father has. As we learn truth and wisdom, we will come closer together and be more similar and know how to get along peacefully. This will never be done by law or coercion of any kind. Zion will exist when we all understand how to live Zion principles. The city of Enoch, referred to in the Old Testament, figured it out enough that they were "taken up" to be with God so there's hope for us mortals. Not everyone really has a sincere desire to embrace truth or to learn wisdom. For some people simply being top dog is what matters. Just like the old game "king of the hill"- there can only be ONE at the top. It's a lonely position. Personally, I look forward to being peaceful and embracing MANY others- sharing rather than conquering. I won't do that by caving in or trying to be without principles so that I can match whoever I'm with. I will simply continue to read, study, learn, pray, meditate, and search to find the best, the truth that works for peace and good will to all men. Others who want to can do that, too. I'll meet you there!

Martin

These are pictures over the years of one of our grandsons. We recently celebrated his 16th birthday. Our family fell in love with this sweet-faced blonde boy from the very beginning. He was not destined to be like either of his brothers. When the diagnosis of autism was pronounced, everyone in our family scrambled to learn more about it. It seems to be that way for everything from cancer to Reyes syndrome to measles to asthma. When someone you know and love has it, you want to know what to expect.

Despite any initial fears we may have had for his development, Martin has always been cheerful and open to learning new things, even if a little reluctant occasionally. He has done well in school and has learned things from trains (his first and best love) to cheerleading to math to the gospel.

He has been know to get into predicaments and be pretty frightened. For awhile, if he got anything at all on his clothes (including plain water), he would immediately set out to remove the clothing no matter where he was.

He talks about driving which is appropriate for 16-year olds in the U.S. He has tried his hand at bumper cars, rides bicycles well, and did pretty well on a golf cart. Whether he is ever able to manage the complexities of driving a motor vehicle on a road with other vehicles and all the hazards common to this mode of transportation remains to be seen. But we are all proud of how far he has come in 16 years. A lot of that can be attributed to a mother who has always encouraged him and never restricted him from anything that might be confusing or difficult for a son with autism. She has loved him unconditionally and he has learned to love others much more than any of us could have imagined.

Striving for perfection

I want to start off defining "Church". Mortal men are the ones who have delineated Protestant, Baptist, Methodist, Catholic, even Jewish churches. The Lord recognizes only 2 churches.An angel of the Lord said, "Behold there are save two churches only; the one is the church of the Lamb of God, and the other is the church of the devil." When Jesus Christ returns to earth, "every knee shall bow and every tongue confess" that He is their Savior. Those who cannot abide the day of His coming shall be taken from the earth until the end of the millenium and the great, final war. So when I refer to "Church" it can refer to anyone who is striving to please God and be like His Son.
I am grateful when Church leaders counsel those who are trying TOO hard. I realize that the majority of God's children err on the side of not doing enough of the right things. But there is a group, however small it may be, who try so hard to do good things that they can actually do harm. Recently a Church leader counseled those who might give TOO much time to Church service to remember their families need their time and energy, too. There are some who work so hard to get perfect grades in schooling that they become depressed or anxious when they only do "well". That can result in changing their focus from learning more to mourning over past performances. That in turn results in a downward spiral.
Recently I met a young woman, beautiful, healthy, slim and sweet. It soon became apparent that she focuses so much on striving for perfection that she is actually damaging herself. She was seeking counsel from a physical trainer about her "pooch"- meaning a tiny bulge of stomach. She really had no excess fat but was so concerned that "proportionately" (her words, not mine) her stomach bulged more than it should for her tiny size. She also asked a dental assistant about fixing some erosion in her gums caused by overuse of teeth whitening strips. It broke my heart to listen to her sincere, anxious concerns about what she sees as glaring flaws. I would not have been surprised to hear she was prone to eating disorders. She dresses simply and does not appear to be focused totally on what the world would define as goals for her outward appearance. I think she is just really trying to be as "perfect" as she can be, to the extent she understands it. She immediately dismissed my opinion that she did not have a "pooch" that "hangs out".( I have a daughter who similarly has a difficult time accepting or believing any form of praise.) You can tell her she's beautiful but she won't believe you. You can tell her she's good but she doesn't feel good enough. I wish I could convince those relative few who have such good intentions that they are loved and accepted as they are, not that striving to improve is a bad thing. There are standards of "perfection" which matter and those that don't. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Depending on who is doing the beholding, no one is perfectly beautiful and no one is perfectly ugly. It doesn't matter! Achieving a grade or score according to some man-made standard will change depending on who is manufacturing the standard. Learn what you can and do your best but beyond that, it doesn't matter. Strive to live ALL the commandments of God and strive to learn more but know that "after all you can do", you need the Atonement to be sanctified. Everyone does and you will not be an exception. THAT IS OKAY!  Being perfect in the Lord's meaning is more about our intentions and goals than our achievements. We will not be like God as mortals- ever. But we can be perfect in not losing our faith and trust in Him. We can be perfect in our resolve to control our appetites and passions as well as striving to learn wisdom. We may get discouraged. We may lose steam sometimes. THAT IS OKAY! Our outward appearance (beyond being neat and clean) doesn't matter. Our man-given labels or certificates don't matter. Our income or house size or car brand DO NOT MATTER!  I wish I could send that message and have it received- but only to those for whom it's necessary.