I'm spoiled

     Don't get me wrong- I am totally grateful to be serving a mission. I love serving the Lord and other people. I love working with such truly kind, honest, wonderful people. But there are times when I just need a few moments to myself. I wish I could just take a breather. I have spent most of my adult life working for no-one else but myself. Sure, I had kids who made demands and appointments to keep. I even volunteered for LOTS of things that sometimes kept me so busy I didn't have time to complain! But I have really enjoyed the freedom to keep my own schedule. I don't want to sit around and do nothing. I don't want endless hours to seek entertainment. I just really like being able to do what I want when I want. I'm spoiled.
     Russ and I have had so many opportunities to travel all over the globe. We had experienced many varied cuisines. We live in a county and time when we can get fresh strawberries even if there's snow outside and we can get steak even if we have never raised an animal for food and we can get fresh bread even if we don't make it. We are excited to be going to a concert tomorrow night in a smallish town in Iowa. Before the concert we plan to eat at a restaurant. We were talking about how much we look forward to eating at a Turkish restaurant because it's something "different". We never go hungry. We have more than bread and water by a long shot. We're spoiled.
     I get tired of indigestion. I have been taking a "proton pump inhibitor" (Nexium) for nearly 10 years now. I manage to be somewhat comfortable by being careful how much I eat and when I eat. But I'm tired of that feeling in my chest of discomfort and burning. I'm tired of the weird burning mouth syndrome thing I have all the time. But, I don't have cancer having to undergo miserable chemotherapy and expensive treatments, endless doctor visits. I don't have a degenerating disease that would cause me to look forward to slowly losing abilities and increasing discomfort. I'm spoiled.
     I want to be constantly ready to smile, encourage, and help. But sometimes I'm tired or not feeling well, and I'm too spoiled to be totally consistent in goodness.

No coincidence

The previous post ended up somewhat strange in the way the font showed up. When I composed it, it didn't look the way it ended up looking. Sorry about the dark lettering. I have tried to fix it, but to no avail. I at least changed it to bold lettering so it's not quite so hard to read. Now, for this blog, I couldn't find or didn't know how to retrieve the picture I wanted, so, sorry again.

This isn't exactly the picture I would prefer but I'm still trying to figure out how to use technology. I just wanted to describe a wonderful experience I had yesterday serving in the Nauvoo, Illinois temple. Due to the celebration of the establishment of Relief Society, there were hundreds of women coming into the temple to do all different ordinances. Women can be quite an uplifting bunch to be around. These women were cheerful, kind, uplifting, full of faith and determined to follow the Savior in all ways. This time of year, we often have days when there are 50 or less people coming to the temple (not including the missionaries/workers). Our work crew is much smaller than in the summer because we don't usually need so many. We had several overfilled sessions yesterday but the women never complained about anything. The workers were scrambling to fill all the necessary positions. I was working in clothing issue, as usual for a Saturday, and asked to assist in one of the ordinance areas because there was a dire need. As I participated in the ordinance, I saw that the name on the family file card was French. I learned French as a child but haven't really spoken it since I turned 20- several decades. There were no other workers there who spoke French so, as often happens when none of us speak the language of the patron, names end up somewhat slaughtered. However, I was able to pronounce the names this woman had. She was quite touched that I just happened to enter the ordinance area when she happened to be there and was able to correctly pronounce the names of her deceased ancestors. I have heard expressed more than once, "There are no coincidences in the Lord's house." I believe it. I'm grateful I was able to uplift in even one small way even one individual.

Addendum to a previous post

     In the post "Something to consider" I mentioned that when we are done with our mortal life, our bodies will no longer be quickened by blood but by the spirit. On LDS.org, you can go to the section Scripture and Study then do a search for quickened by spirit blood and it will give you numerous references for this concept. This is just one quote, from Joseph Fielding Smith-
“After the resurrection from the dead our bodies will be spiritual bodies, but they will be bodies that are tangible, bodies that have been purified, but they will nevertheless be bodies of flesh and bones, but they will not be blood bodies, they will no longer be quickened by blood but quickened by the spirit which is eternal and they shall become immortal and shall never die.” (In Conference Report, Apr. 1917, pp. 62–63.)
    You could also look in our current Teachings of the Presidents of the Church manual on Howard W. Hunter pg. 108) There are several more in various manuals but I feel satisfied that this is a true doctrine. Think of the description of resurrected beings as being shining, even glaringly white. Right now, for Caucasians, our color comes mostly from the blood just below our skin. Other ethnic groups have elements in their skin to give them other color. Without blood (or those other elements in the skin), we will all be pure glowing white- pure not because of the color white, but by the absence of color and the infusion of light. 
     So, back to my thought to consider, think about ALL of the changes that will occur when we no longer have blood coursing through our veins and are instead filled with light and knowledge. We will KNOW the truth of ALL THINGS! Isn't that exciting. That's why it's so important that we overcome the "natural man" as soon as possible. We'll have to do without any physical or related crutches we may rely on now. We need to seek truth and rely on that because that is what we will have! 

Pioneer "sociable" in Nauvoo

     Historic Nauvoo is educational as well as spiritually uplifting. We are constantly reminded of what life was like in the mid-1800's. Recently we had a "sociable", which is a pioneer era term for a get-together, in the cultural hall. In our modern day church buildings we have what we call cultural halls that are just a part of the chapel, usually in the very center of the building, and serve as a basketball court, gym, large activity room, performance venue, and extension of the chapel when needed. Here in old Nauvoo, there was a tall building built by the pioneers in which to hold cultural events.

There is a basement (not too deep in the ground since we're so close to the water table here by the river) with a few rooms in it, a main floor with a stage and audience seating area, and an upper floor which is a large open room for dancing above which was a small balcony for the band. All of us temple missionaries borrowed pioneer garb from the site missionaries and had a dance!

 The gentleman by the windows is one of our temple missionaries. He is 80 and plays an awesome harmonica and guitar. We enjoyed dancing to his music. Then we had a guest site missionary to teach us a couple of the dances the pioneers may have done in this very room. It was a little complicated. You can see the foursome on the left were trying to figure out just what they were supposed to be doing.

 Much to our surprise, the couple we were participating with (also at least a decade older than Russ and me) and we were selected by the teacher to demonstrate because we were actually managing to do it right- sort of.......

 All of us ladies sang a song for the men, in return for the lovely serenade they had given us on Valentine's Day. I wish I had taken my phone with me so I could have recorded them singing "Let Me Call You Sweetheart". In a smallish room, a choir of about 20 adult men singing was powerful!

 Russ still sings really well (for an aging man) and plays his guitar but, unfortunately, not really what you might call "dance" music. Everybody enjoyed his performance anyway and did manage to dance to one of his folk songs.

Something to consider

     Reading or hearing about how life "might" be, beyond mortality, we think of the great advantages of being out of these bodies. To no longer have the aches and pains of an aging, deteriorating body? How free we will feel! To no longer be subject to cancer, MS, cystic fibrosis, AIDS, malaria, broken bones, sprained ankles? Wonderful! "Now this I say, brethren, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God; neither doth corruption inherit incorruption. Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed..." (The words of Paul in 1 Corinthians 15:50-51, made famous in Handel's Messiah.) We can only guess at what life might be like unbridled by corruptible bodies. We won't need cars or airplanes because we will be able to go from place to place as the resurrected Jesus did. We won't need food because our bodies will no longer be "quickened" by blood but by the spirit. We don't know exactly how that works, but that is what will prevent us from being subject to disease. We don't even know exactly what happens with sexual intercourse. How did God create us as His spirit children? Is there such a thing as a spiritual climax? It seems to me that would be a weakness not requisite in being like God.
     But that same blood which carries pathogens to cause diseases we dread, also carries earthly pleasures like alcohol, marijuana, nicotine, and other recreational substances. If we depend on those things now to enjoy ourselves, what will happen when we can no longer receive that high? When we no longer will have bodies that are subject to injury and we can travel at will, what happens to those whose self-image relies on their speed to run or strength to lift weights or flexibility and agility in using their muscles? Even the thrill of adrenalin will be gone. We no longer will need the fear or flight boost. So what happens to those who delight in the thrill of bungee jumping or roller coaster rides? The economy of God relies not on a gold standard. He made it and can make more. There are no wealthy or poor. So what happens to those who fight depression by shopping and acquiring nice things? There will be no competition to have the loveliest home or most exciting car.
     Don't get me wrong, God really, really wants us to be happy. He just knows better than we do exactly how to be happy, not just momentarily thrilled or comforted. Wanting us to overcome lust, greed, or any such "natural man" elements is NOT about being judged by Him. It's not about coming up to His standards to "earn" His love and approval. We cannot be happy with Him if we cannot be happy without a beer or a cigarette or a shopping trip or a hot motorcycle or parachute jump. Our physical bodies were never intended to be the end of us. These bodies are simply to give us experience so we can know for ourselves pleasure and pain, right and wrong, evil and good- all apart from Him. We are all on our own, unless of course we ask for His influence and help. Our mortal lives WILL END- every single one of us. So, what then? Some may choose to believe there isn't anything beyond this despite the witnesses of prophets and many who have had near death experiences. That is a choice anyone can make. But what if death isn't the end? What if you have the same cravings and dependencies beyond the physical body to satisfy them?
     God created plants, animals, rivers, lakes, mountains- all to beautify the earth- for US to enjoy. It's not that we should find no pleasure during mortality. But it would behoove us to ponder exactly what pleasures to pursue and to what limits that might be beneficial rather than harmful.

Being true- to self and anybody else

     I am feeling perplexed. Part of it has to do with the current presidential competition here in the USA. I don't understand why the results appear as they do. Is it the media? Is it really that most people simply are not clearly thinking? Is there something really major that I don't know?
     The other part is my constant concern about avoiding being a hypocrite. I love my dad but as I have been typing his journals, I am repeatedly upset by what I view as hypocrisy- saying one thing and doing another or being different depending on who you're with or bending, even totally abandoning values to impress or get along with others. Dad was a man who rarely offended anyone. He was what nearly everyone would call a "nice guy". That's good, right? But what if he did not stay true to covenants he made when it meant being in an awkward situation? Can you be truly who you are if you espouse certain standards when you're in one environment and total opposites in a different environment? I can remember in my youth trying to "hide" smoking pot or drinking alcohol or swearing when in the presence of adults. I didn't want to get into trouble with grown-ups but I wanted to be "cool" and fit in with peers (who, by the way, were as clueless in their immaturity as I was). I reached a point where I figured I was old enough to do the stupid things I wanted to do without hiding it. But it didn't take long before I began to question those actions. Was it really "cool" to watch X-rated movies (when, in fact, I didn't like it at all- it seemed gross to me) or to be high/drunk (when I would see other people- especially if they were older and should "know better"- do it and think they were ridiculous?)?? I sincerely try to find the absolute truth in things. I don't want to appear to be anything I'm not. I don't want to dislike an action in someone else if I am guilty of the same thing myself. So, how do I reconcile my feelings toward others without being "judgmental"? I make no claims to be a judge in any way. I don't consider myself authorized or capable of determining the worthiness of anyone else. However, I am trying to figure out how to react appropriately. I don't want to criticize a behavior if I'm guilty of it but justify it for myself. I don't want to be disappointed in someone else's actions if I'm not at least making a diligent effort to do differently.
     Okay, a classic but relatively harmless example: if a guest arrives unexpectedly, do I hurry to clean up because I simply want to impress them with what a good housekeeper I am when I'm not usually tidy? I don't shove stuff in drawers or closets that is normally all laying out in disarray. I don't quickly vacuum only the places that show. I really DO try to normally keep a tidy house. If I hurry to clean up anything, it's mostly to make sure there is a comfortable place for a guest to sit or I clean off a table or counter that I was going to clean off but just hadn't yet. I do not present myself as a good housekeeper to IMPRESS anyone. I try to keep a neat house because I prefer it that way.
     Another "harmless" example: I walk every day to and from the temple. I do NOT do that to impress anyone. I do it because I don't feel like exercising earlier and I am too tired when I get done working in the temple. When I don't exercise, I don't feel good. I get constipated; I don't sleep as well; I am more succeptible to illness, etc. If people think I'm a "show-off", I'm sorry. That is certainly not my goal.
     I don't drink alcohol or do any other kind of drugs, NOT because I'm "no fun" or trying to be a "goody-goody". I honestly see no point in doing it and I think it does more harm than good. Whatever little "boost" I may get isn't worth the calories, the cost, or the after-affects. I don't swear because I think it sounds crass. I prefer to use a better vocabulary that isn't simply a way to dramatically describe something. I truly don't have to work hard at avoiding these things. I don't like them. The only thing I sometimes have to work at is being smiling and pleasant. Sometimes I'm discouraged or not feeling well or really tired. That's when I can be a little snippy. I'm truly sorry when I do that because I don't want to be that way. I WANT to be kind, cheerful, pleasant, helpful, and encouraging. THAT'S THE REAL ME! I just don't know how to react to other people who choose differently. I believe they have a right to be whoever they want to be. I love them anyway. But do I have to smile and pretend I don't care?????

Think outside our box

     When we enter the world as infants, one of the first new awarenesses we achieve is that our mother is a separate being from us. Day by day, we continue to become aware of sights, sounds, smells, and feelings around us then gain the ability to identify them. Our perception of what exists or is "real" changes constantly. As a 2 year old, we have no concept of the existence of Australia, unless of course we live there. That doesn't mean Australia isn't real. It just means we aren't aware of it.
     Do you remember a kid insulting another kid's mother or sister or something important to that kid then the kid reacting with real anger? Say the insulter calls the kid's sister "fat" and the sister really is fat but the insultee doesn't like it being said. Sometimes the insultee beats on the insulter to force him or her to retract the insult. "Say it isn't true!" Does taking it back make it not true? (The real issue here of course is who has the power and that it's not nice to insult.)
     Throughout the history of our planet, people have claimed to "know" things as true and sometimes later the "truth" changes. To what degree do we identify "truth"? Here in Nauvoo there is a community yard waste burn pile less than a block away from our apartment. There are times when it's difficult for me to determine if it's actually burning because I smell it so often. Maybe there are residual particulates in the air, or furnishings, or even my sinuses. I could swear I smell smoke even at times when there is nothing actually burning. My ears ring constantly. There isn't really an alarm going off somewhere, non-stop. It's just something in my aural senses which causes the sensation of a constant high pitched hum. Is it real? Does the fact that no-one else can hear it make it not real?
     There are/were witnesses that claimed a man named Jesus Christ lived, died on the cross, then arose alive again. Are the stories from them simply myths? Did he actually live but not do miracles or come alive again? Many people, even young children, have experienced "near death" (called so because they were actually in clinical terms dead but only temporarily) and later told very similar stories of light, loving people, even relatives who have been dead for awhile. They aren't identical stories because the people who had the experiences aren't identical. But there are many striking similarities, enough to cause several research studies. Can our physical brain tissue manage to cause a similar experience for so many diverse people? So what do we do with these stories?
     I would urge anyone who wants to know if God is real or Jesus Christ is real, to learn all you can about them- not only from atheists or doubters but also get the side from believers. Then ask in a prayer for yourself to know if God is real. Ask what He would have you know and do. But only do that if you intend to truly act on it. It's called praying with real intent. If you let Him know that you will accept Him as your God, obey Him as your superior, then without guile or cynicism, pray to know if He's real. He'll let you know. From then on it's a matter of day by day learning how to be more like Him as you obey Him and overcome your own weaknesses/doubts/pride. I really wish I could shout this from the mountaintops so everyone could hear me. I just hope someone reads this and tries it for themselves.