Why covenants?

     Several times in my life I have wanted to lose weight. I was usually reluctant to tell anyone that I was trying because I figured then I would be more accountable and would just cause disappointment in them and myself when they asked how it was going and I hadn't succeeded.
     More and more often, couples are delaying marriage and choosing to simply live together. They figure they feel a commitment to each other and that's enough. On the other hand, if either or both decide it's just not working out, it's a lot easier to separate.
     Sometimes business deals are just made orally and maybe closed with a handshake. Depending on the features of the deal, that can be a fairly tenuous agreement. If there is no formal record of the deal, it's easy to back out or just "forget". Even between close friends or family members, some form of formal document makes everyone feel more secure and holds all parties more accountable.
     Many people consider themselves "religious" but choose not to align themselves with any particular formal church. They simply believe a higher power of some sort exists even if they don't really understand what that power is. Many Christians go a step further and acknowledge the reality of Jesus Christ as the Only Begotten Son of God who lived as a mortal a couple thousand years ago, was crucified, died on the cross, and was resurrected. They believe He atoned for their sins which allows them to be "saved" and eligible to live with God after death. They also believe that simply saying they believe in God and Christ and admitting Jesus is their Savior is sufficient. God doesn't seem to feel quite that informal about His relationship with us. A summary from the LDS Bible Dictionary states:
Between God and man...It is important to notice that the two parties to the agreement do not stand in the relation of independent and equal contractors. God in his good pleasure fixes the terms, which man accepts. The same word is sometimes rendered "testament". The gospel is so arranged that principles and ordinances are received by covenant placing the recipient under strong obligation and responsibility to honor the commitment. Thus the severe consequences to Ananias and Sapphira, who deliberately broke their covenant and lied unto God. (Acts 5:1-11)
     I have been thinking about the purpose, variety, and significance of covenants made between man and God. I plan to explore each covenant we have the opportunity to make and what they mean to us as we live out our mortal lives.

Pride is destructive, so is envy

     I know that pride can cause harm in so many ways. A person who is proud is easily offended which disrupts relationships with others. A proud person also tends to undervalue and be ungrateful for others because they are focused on comparing or competing. Somebody has to lose. If the proud person perceives themselves as the victor, they look down on their "competitor". If the proud person perceives themselves as the loser, they feel bad about themselves or they resent their "opponent" and renew their determination to beat them. Either way, both people lose.
     Envy is also destructive. I really dislike hearing comments like, "Oh, I hate her because she's so thin/pretty/talented." Or "He's not so great. I have seen/heard better." Those comments are really borne of envy and resentment. Rather than appreciating someone's ability/hard work/ talent, there is a primal response to wish them harm or failure. For the person doing the envying, this is like poison to their soul and only makes them bitter. It causes them to look at the other with hateful vision which ends up making both feel bad. For the person being envied, no matter how hard that person may have worked to achieve the level they have achieved, they feel like they have done something wrong. Rather than having others join in their celebration for the accomplishment, they feel like they have failed. When anyone strives to do well, they are hoping for validation of their worth. That can be detrimental if it goes to the point of being prideful. But if someone tries to keep a neat yard or home, struggles to be worthy of a promotion or award, or fights laziness/obesity/shyness or whatever, their achievement deserves respect or appreciation, not derision. We can either help each other, or destroy each other.

Reward???

     I went for a walk with Russ this morning, which is our usual routine. I didn't necessarily FEEL like going for a walk. I just know it's good for me. I don't derive any immediate reward for doing it. I only know what is likely to happen if I go for very long without making the effort.
     It caused me to ponder what motivates us to do things. We all like rewards. We have a special area in our brains the primary function of which is to send "feel good" messages throughout our body when we are happy. That's how we become so easily addicted- to sex, food, drugs, alcohol, even endorphins brought about by vigorous exercise. It's obviously not necessarily a benefit that we have this reaction. It can lead us into REALLY BIG trouble.
     So, what about things that DON'T provide an immediate reward? How do we carry on when results are much more long-term, even eternal. We change our baby's diaper over and over again because it will stink, cause diaper rash, etc. We get up and go to work because we know we have to pay the mortgage or rent, buy food, make car payments, etc. We make food or do laundry for our children because they will complain or make a mess doing it themselves, or some other more immediate reason. But, what about being honest, or helpful, or kind? I guess you could say there can be a reward of having people like us. It's better than being disliked.
     God has said, through a prophet, that there must needs be opposition in all things. We know there is good and evil, truth and falsehood, pleasant and miserable, etc. If we were to choose what God would have us choose every time then receive an immediate reward, we would be doing good for an immediate reward, NOT because we were sincerely choosing good. That's why it's only meaningful if and when we endure to the end. We keep on doing good because we sincerely believe, deep in our hearts, that helping people, being kind, telling the truth, working hard, etc. is truly what we want to do. We believe in doing good. We believe in what God believes in. And it's not just because we expect a reward.

Melting pot

     The United States has been referred to for many years as a melting pot. Some seek to criticize this country on the grounds that it lacks sufficient "cultural diversity". I'm sure there are places in the world where, within one nation's boundaries, more languages are spoken or more varied folk songs are sung or more ethnicities are evident. Since settlers arrived on ships in the 1600's, this particular landmass has increased in population, fed by a wide variety of ethnic, religious, and racial group sources. Through the disagreements between the "newcomers" and the Native American, through the unwilling immigrants brought to be slaves, through the slurs and prejudice aimed at Irish, Italians, Chinese, Japanese, etc.- there has been a considerable amount of bumping and jostling as American citizens strive to live together peacefully despite constant differences. You can still find more homogeneous pockets, like in Chinatowns on the west coast and in NYC, or the Amish in PA or OH , or Hispanics in TX or AZ. But, for the most part, this really is a "melting pot". The point of being a melting pot is NOT for each ingredient to remain separately recognizable. When you make a soup, you can still discern the onions from the beans from the meat, from the tomatoes, from the..... I think you get the idea. But each ingredient takes on some flavor from the others so the resulting blend is pleasant. I think it's a really GOOD thing to avoid having a "little Italy" or a "little China" or a "little Syria" or whatever. I believe this country was founded to be a place for anyone and everyone to have an opportunity to join with others in the pursuit of life, liberty and happiness. The point is NOT to have a dictatorship so we are forced to live the standards of one powerful individual. The point is NOT to have a monarchy to all be subject to someone who just happened to be born of a certain set of parents. The point is NOT to live the rules of one specific religion. The point is to be willing to make enough compromises, be tolerant enough, and pleasant enough to get along peacefully. This will not result from adherence to the standards of any individual group or belief system. It is not socialism where everyone is forced to give up what they earn to share with everyone else, although taxes are required to be collected in order to provide for the common defense and larger welfare. It is not oppression where people are imprisoned because they publicly share their opinion, although there is a legal system to protect individuals from being harmed by others. It is elements of everyone and everything but not absolutely one of anything.
     The Lord's Kingdom is similar. Jesus was criticized during His mortal life because he associated with publicans and sinners. He didn't say anything about just accepting what anyone did. He said, "The well have no need of a physician." His influence was needed more among some than others. We are not to judge or hate those who may not be what we would label ideal. We are to love them and, in the process, come to see the good in them which changes us, and for them to see the good in us, which changes them. We don't form a peaceful society by clinging to diversity. We bring with us our ideas, talents, skills, and knowledge then SHARE it with others who all have the right to refuse our offering just as we may not choose what they have. I have my favorite genres of music but I respect others' preferences for whatever type of music they like. I may not want to go to a performance of their preference, but I wouldn't stop them from going. I think most people recognize that truth is generally "somewhere in the middle". The trick is to figure out what is the middle.

Glimpsing eternity

     There is some concern about "running out"- of space, time, fuel, food, etc. It borders on panic for some and has certainly become a hot political issue in many cases. So far, in the United States no limit has been set for the bearing of children. There is considerable effort to become more energy efficient in our vehicles and homes. Yet, when you consider where everything came from, there is no rational reason to fear "running out".
     Recently Russ and I have been watching a series of lectures on meteorology. Predicting the weather is a much more complex effort than I ever realized! But, put simply, I can remember the basic diagram learned long ago in science where water falls from the clouds in the sky, soaks in the ground and gets used by plants and animals, then eventually evaporates back into the sky to form clouds again. There is no actual disappearance or creation of hydrogen or oxygen atoms. In a similar fashion, everything on and in this planet has come from this planet. Unless there has been some kind of interplanetary importation going on that I am unaware of, everything here is made of atoms/materials that have always been here. Atoms can be re-organized into different substances- for instance, plastics are made from naturally made petroleum products but are then in a form that take a very long time to break down again to be easily formed by nature into something else. Man has become quite clever in re-making things but hasn't yet figured out what to do with things he has created through his re-organizing of atoms. Hence, the ecological disasters by our primitive nuclear energy use or destruction of natural eco-systems. Man is not the only inhabitant of the planet but we are the most advanced. Plants and animals existed and went extinct before we arrived. We are not the only cause for destruction or construction. However, we are still greatly lacking in knowledge and wisdom to know how to clean up our own messes. We are simply children figuring out how to build with the blocks we have been given- but those blocks are eternal. We can gain a little glimpse of wisdom and eternity if we can wrap our heads around the fact that everything that is here has always been here, including our bodies- our clay tabernacles. Nearly 200 years ago, Joseph Smith, during a sermon at a funeral, had this to say:
     You ask the learned doctors why they say the world was made out of nothing, and they will answer;'Doesn't the Bible say He created the world?' And they infer from the work create, that it must have been made out of nothing. Now, the word create came from the word barau, which does not mean create out of nothing; it means to organize; the same as a man would organize materials and build a ship. Hence we infer that God had materials to organize the world out of chaos- chaotic matter; which is element, and in which dwells all glory. Element had an existence from the time He had. The pure principles of element are principles which can never be destroyed, they may be organized and re-organized, but not destroyed. They had no beginning and can have no end.
     We have everything we need to make trees, humpback whales, and mountains. We just don't know how. We needn't be too impatient, though. We are slowly learning in the aggregate. We just need to be observant, open to learning, and avoid being self-centered in our thoughts and actions. We are children of God and He wants to share with us everything He has--- and that's everything.

Meditations on a crocheted cloth

     Man was also in the beginning with God. Intelligence, or the light of truth, was not created or made, neither indeed can be. (Doctrine and Covenants 93:29) For I, the Lord God, created all things, of which I have spoken, spiritually, before they were naturally upon the face of the earth.... And I, the Lord God, had created all the children of men, and not yet a man to till the ground; for in heaven created I them..(Moses3:5) Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee..(Jeremiah 1:5) Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High. But ye shall die like men, and fall like one of the princes. (Psalms 82:6,7) Then shall the dust return to the earth as it was: and the spirit shall return unto God who gave it.(Ecclesiastes 12:7) Forasmuch then as we are the offspring of God, we ought not to think that the Godhead is like unto gold, or silver, or stone, graven by art and man's device. (Acts 17:29)
     I have been thinking about our relationship to our Father in Heaven and to each other as humans on the planet Earth. In the temple today I pondered as I looked at the crocheted cover on the altar where Russ and I were performing sealings for dead ancestors- marriages and sealings of children to parents. I have spent countless hours searching out my kindred dead and have reached a point where it's rare that anyone I find is close enough to me that I really know anything about them. Yet, I know I am related to everyone who has ever lived and is living now. The scriptures explain that we are all children of God. We are all offspring of Adam and Eve, and even closer, we all descend from Noah (after the floodwaters abated and all other people were destroyed). God chose not to just send ALL of His children to Earth at the same time. We arrived one by one, born of an earthly mother and father. Originally, we were all His children but our bodies of flesh and blood were developed inside a human womb. The crocheted temple cloth was an intricate design, all carefully stitched from one single thread. The stitches form various parts of the design but are ALL connected!
     I also thought about "dropped stitches". There are those who have been born on the Earth that ultimately will choose not to return to God. They will choose Satan's principles. That is so sad but it's an essential part of the opportunity God has given all of His children to choose for themselves. But there will never be "holes" in God's family. There may be a dropped stitch, but we are still all connected. We are not alone nor can we make decisions in our lives that have no impact on anyone else. However, eventually there will be no more tears, no sorrow. God so loved the world that He gave His Only Begotten Son that whoso believeth in Him shall not die but have everlasting life. We may not be able to see the entire design on the cloth from where we are right now, but we are all connected, all loved, and will some day be all together---- forever.

Leadership/parenting styles

     There are as many opinions and styles of leadership as there are people, despite the availability of classes,lectures and books with recommendations on the most effective methods. The disparity of results can be dramatic ranging from total failure to success of individuals as well as entire organizations. A person can be placed in the position of a leader by various circumstances: through deserved promotion due to individual effort, through happenstance (birthright or lack of anyone else to do the job), or decision to bear and raise children. I have been considering just 3 styles from my life observances: dictators, enablers, and teachers. It's possible to use any or all three styles combined. There are advantages and disadvantages for each.
     Dictator- This term most likely evokes memories of tyrannical leaders through history who ruled by creating fear in their citizens. The goal was to create and maintain the leader's version of order by sheer force. It was often successful in pulling together a war-prone, divided country. As a leader or parent, this style utilizes very little input from others and demands obedience with threat of punishment. (Shut up and do as I say!) Many parents resort to using this when faced with a tantrum-throwing toddler who does not understand anything much beyond his own self-centered wishes. Otherwise, when this style is used on adults, or even older children, there may be results that the leader is striving for but it's likely to be at the cost of resentment, even hatred, toward the leader. I'm sure a psychologist could identify, in the children or organization members of such a leader, all kinds of problems from not learning or daring to think for themselves to developing manipulative or sneaky tactics to appear obedient in order to avoid punishment. So order may be achieved, but in the ultimate sense, there will not be unity nor strength of character in individuals other than possibly learning to be dictators themselves.
     Enabler- This style appears at first glance to be much kinder than the dictator. The main goal of this leader is to be loved or preferred. Politicians often perform in this manner. Parents use this style to avoid battling their children. (Whatever you want to do, honey....) Leaders are needed and looked to for guidance. Although organization members/children need to learn to think for themselves, they often lack sufficient knowledge or experience to make wise decisions. The enabler opts out of offering opinions and encourages whims in others as well as excusing it in themselves. They will give an answer or guidance depending on their mood and circumstances. (I'm too tired to clean that up right now so I don't feel like it. I won't make you do it either.) Under this style, weakness of character ultimately results. People or children do not learn to use wisdom to think things through or strength to do whatever needs doing despite how you may feel at the moment. Praise from such a leader becomes less than meaningful as followers come to realize they will be complimented whatever they do because the leader doesn't really care beyond everyone being happy..... Nobody really succeeds.
     Teacher- In case you haven't guessed, this is my personal favorite. I think anyone who considers themselves a teacher, first and foremost, is likely to be the most effective leader. When the goal is not to look impressive, not to maintain outward order, not to be "the favorite", but, more importantly, to work themselves out of a job by encouraging strength and wisdom in others so they could take over as leaders any time. These teachers love their constituents because they respect and value them. As a result, most others will feel the same way toward the teacher. They can be depended upon ALWAYS because they don't resort to whims. Others can anticipate the reaction of the teacher simply by applying logic and love. Teachers recognize that their example is always evident to others and strives for the good of the entire community, not just themselves. They don't just demand others do a job, they step in and show and teach and encourage. They don't just threaten punishment. They reason out purpose and consequences, including applying fair consequences recognizing the importance of learning even when uncomfortable.
     Although I see these various methods, I can't say I'm the best at utilizing the most appropriate in every instance. I prefer to see myself as a teacher but sometimes I am grumpy and act more like a dictator or tired/discouraged and act more like an enabler. I just need to continue to strive to improve.