It is like a mission

I know I have said it before, but it truly is like serving a mission living here in Dayton. Today I spoke for awhile with the security guard who sits in the parking lot of the building where we hold church every Sunday morning. I would think that at my age I would be fairly aware of things that go on in the world, sometimes really awful things that people do. Somehow it has mostly seemed pretty distant to my everyday life. This man has been in jail and has a cousin who is currently serving time in prison. He was telling me about how his cousin has been repeatedly abused by other prisoners to the point that he reacts to people around him much as my brother reacted to people after returning home from Viet Nam. If he has anyone unexpectedly behind him, he is quick to whirl around preparing to defend himself. Most members of our church here are dealing with addiction problems, either recovering themselves or trying to help family members. Violence, drugs, alcohol, abuse of children, rape, all of the things I have thought of as being part of R or even X rated movies are a part of life here. I have never read the paper without a report of at least 2 murders in the area. I often wonder how the police here can refrain from becoming pretty cynical about mankind in general.
The members of the church here are good-hearted for the most part. If it weren't for the church welfare system which provides food, I would probably be serving many of them in a soup kitchen. Even those who have been members for many years have about as much doctrinal understanding as younger primary children in other places. Occasionally I try to describe what it's like to live among large groups of Latter-Day Saints. I try to help them understand that there really are people who are honest, willing to help, serve diligently and dependably in church callings, pray regularly in private as well as public, and just live clean lives. I try to explain activities for children that are fun yet educational and uplifiting. I try to explain having large groups of people that are smiling, friendly, kind, and caring. Most of these people just haven't experienced that. I wish I could transport them to the ward we lived in when we lived in Utah, even for a day. They would probably feel out of place at first because the people there are cleaner and better educated. I don't mean they are all college-educated or high class. They just have a pleasant countenance. They speak with confidence stemming from knowing who they are. I really can't tell if I'm having an affect here. I want so badly for them to know they are loved children of a Heavenly Father. He wants them to develop their potential and feel happy and confident. They hear wonderful things at church then go home to scary neighborhoods and cluttered often dirty homes. I pray I can lift them enough to motivate them to make their homes islands of peace and accomplishment. All it costs is soap and energy. If they could just hang on to the determination to overcome all that is dragging them down. All I can do is keep trying.... be patient......keep loving them.