Things I am learning...

This photo of my mother was taken over a year ago, about a year after her fall with 5 bone breaks. She was undergoing aggressive therapy with the idea that she could regain strength enough to walk, even if with a walker.

A few months ago, the decision was made that Mom was not making sufficient progress to warrant the expense of aggressive daily physical therapy. They don't want her to lose what ability she has but no one expects she will be able to regain sufficient strength to care for herself in any way. This morning Mom walked around the "block" inside the care center. It was a stretch for her but she was determined to do it. Dad, my sisters, I, and everybody else wishes she could have the determination to keep working at it, but she just doesn't. As traumatic as her fall in Oct 2008 was, it wasn't totally the cause for her current physical condition. That is a result of a cumulative effect over years of a sedentary lifestyle coupled later on with a fear of falling which, truth be told, she probably wouldn't have developed so quickly had she had the muscular strength to catch herself whenever she felt off-balance.

As I visit Mom in the care center every day along with seeing the MANY people over 70 in this area, I am learning some things about what to anticipate in later life.

*Mom has always emphasized "relaxing". She has always liked to sit and meditate or read. Dad, on the other hand, seemed to always be doing things to the extent that on the rare occasion he ever sat down, he fell asleep. There needs to be a balance in life between exercise and relaxing. In older age, if you have been more active, you will likely be able to care for yourself much longer. However, you need to have some interests that allow you to not necessarily "be on the go" all the time so you won't go stir crazy when all you have the energy to do is sit.

*Loving someone does NOT mean doing everything or giving everything they request. We all need to make efforts that may be out of our "comfort zones" in order to achieve physical and emotional strength sufficient to care for ourselves. So, on the flip side, it may be important to grit your teeth and stand by allowing someone you love to grunt and strain a little.

*Too much emphasis is given on "exercise"- the fad kind of thing: going to a gym, wearing "active" clothing, competing in athletic events. It's really not all about your weight or your appearance or your comparison to others. It's a lifestyle/mindset thing. Don't rely on others to fetch something up or downstairs that you want. Don't wish there was an elevator every time you need to use stairs. Exercising an hour a day is NOT going to sufficiently prepare you for old age if it is not coupled with an active lifestyle. You may reach the point where lack of core muscles will make it difficult or even impossible to get up and down off the couch/bed/chair. It may even make it so you can't have a bowel movement because you don't have the strength to push it out! Don't envy people with handicap stickers for their cars or you may end up with one yourself.

*Last, but not really the last of what I am learning, just the last I will list here, NEVER STOP LEARNING. Your brain is connected to your body. If you don't have good circulation in your body, your brain is having the same lack of oxygenated, nutrient carrying blood. Keep moving but also keep thinking. Keep experiencing new things. Get out of your comfort zone occasionally. Be willing to listen with the idea that maybe what you thought you always knew is wrong. Maybe science has figured out something they put out long ago wasn't exactly right so what you learned long ago now needs to be altered.