There is a lot of talk about judging. People who don't even really believe in the Bible or follow its teachings will admonish Christians if any comment is made concerning whether an activity is good or bad. Russ and I were remembering some people we met in Dayton and in doing so were reminded why we humans aren't good judges.
The most shocking lack of judgement was in our reaction to a man who was always dressed nicely, spoke politely, even seemed to have great faith in God and Jesus Christ, quoting scriptures fairly comfortably. He came to church regularly and served when called as well as helping a lot of people on his own. We ended up getting into a limousine business with him and he ran us into bankruptcy due to his illegal use of the business credit card, mounting up bills that just couldn't be paid no matter how hard we tried. He had tried numerous times to get Russ to purchase an insurance policy "for the sake of the business, just in case"........After we left the area, he murdered his "wife" (circumstances too involved to go into) then another man, planning to profit from their insurance policies and is now in prison.We certainly didn't correctly "judge" him to be a man it was safe to go into business with.
The next man I will mention is a "contractor"- I put that word in quotes because, beyond having a knowledge of the cheapest labor available in the area and some knowledge of construction, he wasn't all that great. Because the roof of the house we were rehabbing was so high and steep, we decided having Russ try to put on a new roof was not a good idea, yet it needed to be done. This man seemed pleasant enough, drove a decent truck- not fancy but good enough, and was clean-looking. He even occasionally appeared with his young grandson in his truck because he was tending him. He found people to do the work so it was done well enough. Then one day he came to us with his head hung low saying he was short on funds and wondered if we could "lend" him $500- just until he got paid for another job he was doing. We had known him for a year or so by then so we were happy to do it. We waited in vain for him to return and repay us. We even managed to track down where he lived and went to inquire when he might be able to pay us. He pleaded broke and was out of work. We never got our "loan" back.
The third man, Clarence, was a shiftless druggie. He drank and did some drugs. He didn't have a car and always walked everywhere. We met him through the "contractor". He was pleasant enough to deal with. He did a good job, as long as it was simple work. Before the loan incident with the contractor, he warned us that if we had Clarence do work for us we needed to wait until the work was completed to pay him or he would disappear on a binge. That warning came after we had paid him for some painting that he had not yet completed. We wondered for several days after we paid him whether he would ever come back to finish and had about decided we would have to do it ourselves. Then one day he showed up, apologized, and said he wasn't always dependable about finishing a job on time but he tried to always be a man of his word so he was back to finish what he had promised to do. He finished the work and didn't ask for any more money.
We had earnestly attempted to discern the trustworthiness of each of these men especially since our financial outlook was on the line. Looking on the outside of these men, expectations would be just the opposite of the end result. The one who looked so good was the worst in his heart and the one who looked the shabbiest was actually just weak in willpower but had good intentions. I thought, too, about the woman I mentioned in my last post- the female part of the "swinger" couple. She was attractive enough but I couldn't believe how easily she justified having an "open relationship" with her husband. Despite the responsibility of 3 children, she lusted after men other than her husband and tried to explain how it was "good for her marriage". She appeared to be very much into appearance, with nice clothes and jewelry and a lovely home with quality furnishings. Seeing her in any casual, happenstance setting, no one would ever guess the lifestyle she led.
Despite what the critics of Christians say, we do all judge- all the time. We need to make judgements on who to trust to care for our children, who to trust in business transactions of all sorts. Unfortunately, as hard as we try, we cannot judge completely correctly all the time. We can only see the cover of the book, not the contents. So we will continue to do whatever judging is required for our life decisions, but it's a really good thing that ultimate judgement is up to God. Only He really knows.
Saturday, March 14, 2015
Friday, March 13, 2015
I'm still thinking along the lines of family. These days, family is being "redefined" to include just about any collection of creatures, even including pets. This may seem all-inclusive and welcoming and everything but it also tends to minimize the significance of the relationships. Although I may really love my pet and it's been with me a long time, it is not going to carry on my name or my genes. There are legitimate circumstances for having a family that could be viewed as "non-traditional". Sometimes people, no matter how badly they desire it, will never have the chance to marry or to have children of their own. They may not be in a position to adopt children even if they would like to. Family, like so many other concepts, has an ideal definition. This might be similar to the weight charts doctors have. For my height and age and gender, I should fall within certain parameters for my weight. If I don't, it is considered less healthy so I should strive to achieve a weight within those limits. In the meantime, I go on living and doing my best rather than simply justify myself and make no alterations to my lifestyle unless I am willing to suffer the consequences. Those who have sought guidance from God, who knows WAY more than we do, can gain from the words of prophets who are God's messengers. (Confirmation of their authority is readily available through prayer and inspiration from the Holy Ghost.) There are a group of men currently serving as God's prophets on the earth today. Their guidance to us reinforces what prophets throughout history have instructed us and gives us added clarification for today's issues. In 1995, the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles issued a Proclamation defining family and giving instruction for the ideal function thereof. They said:
We.........solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God......
All human beings- male and female- are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.
So far, we can learn that God created us, as humans create babies, in HIS image, male and female. We do not have four legs or fur or shells or tails. We are loved by Him, not just His subjects to order around. Since we are His children, we are destined to have the potential to become like He is. Our gender, male or female, is really important. Neither gender is superior or inferior. Going on they said:
We declare that God's commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife...........Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity........Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended family should lend support when needed. We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity........... will one day stand accountable before God.
This is where it gets strained in today's "anything goes" morality. Loving ALL other people is a commandment. However, SEX (which is NOT THE SAME AS LOVE) with other people should only occur within certain limits. God has made it clear what those limits are: a man and a woman who have been legally and lawfully married. NOTHING ELSE is within God's definition of family or marriage. Through living prophets He has stated that there are "circumstances" which may necessitate individual adaptation but we should be careful what circumstances we try to squeeze by. Women may feel intimidated by men so they're more comfortable with other females. Nobody is required to get married to anybody. We can choose to live a life as a single. Recently I saw a segment on tv describing "swingers", who are basically people who have married someone but have an "open" relationship where they agree to have sex with anyone else whenever they want. I heard a woman explain that it has "helped her marriage to be stronger" because they communicate and are so open about their feelings and desires. (They even have 3 children!!) Obviously, this is not within the Lord's definition of circumstances to necessitate adaptation. The covenant, whatever one they used, between such persons is definitely not very meaningful as a covenant between two people. People these days talk about their "significant other", usually meaning a person they have chosen to develop a regular relationship with often meaning having unlimited sexual relations and even living together, but without an official covenant of fidelity to each other. It's basically just a "verbal agreement", if even that formal. The difficulty comes when children are produced. They become an often accidental result of the physical urges being satisfied between these two consenting adults. The parent-child relationship is solid genetically but may not feel stable otherwise. (Are verbal agreements in business always binding or accountable?) God has given us the freedom to choose whatever we want. Man-made governments often hold accountable those who violate others through murder, theft, rape(depending on the culture!), and other actions. We, His children, have decided that we want to be able to define and use our procreative powers (sex) in whatever way WE want, no matter what He wants. We can do that. But one day we "will stand accountable before God." That is why I cannot condone same-sex marriage, adultery, fornication, pedophilia, or anything like that. I still love those people who indulge themselves in those ways. I truly love them, but I don't agree that what they're doing is perfectly alright. Even if I have indulged in sex before marriage in my younger days, I can't say it was right. I know it was wrong. I even felt it was wrong at the time when the world of the 60's and 70's was trying to redefine moral standards. I was confused then but am not any longer. For me personally, I have sincerely repented and feel forgiven because I have absolutely no intention of ever repeating the indiscretion (sin). This doesn't mean I judge or condemn anyone who lives otherwise. I am grateful that THAT is not my job! I definitely don't have the wisdom for that kind of authority and don't expect to have it soon. I just have finally understood what are the best guidelines for achieving long-term happiness. I intend to stick with them no matter what confusion reigns around me. After all, I will stand before God alone and account for my thoughts, deeds, and actions. Besides, I feel better about myself if I am striving for a higher standard and I have to live with myself forever!
We.........solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God......
All human beings- male and female- are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.
So far, we can learn that God created us, as humans create babies, in HIS image, male and female. We do not have four legs or fur or shells or tails. We are loved by Him, not just His subjects to order around. Since we are His children, we are destined to have the potential to become like He is. Our gender, male or female, is really important. Neither gender is superior or inferior. Going on they said:
We declare that God's commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife...........Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity........Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended family should lend support when needed. We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity........... will one day stand accountable before God.
This is where it gets strained in today's "anything goes" morality. Loving ALL other people is a commandment. However, SEX (which is NOT THE SAME AS LOVE) with other people should only occur within certain limits. God has made it clear what those limits are: a man and a woman who have been legally and lawfully married. NOTHING ELSE is within God's definition of family or marriage. Through living prophets He has stated that there are "circumstances" which may necessitate individual adaptation but we should be careful what circumstances we try to squeeze by. Women may feel intimidated by men so they're more comfortable with other females. Nobody is required to get married to anybody. We can choose to live a life as a single. Recently I saw a segment on tv describing "swingers", who are basically people who have married someone but have an "open" relationship where they agree to have sex with anyone else whenever they want. I heard a woman explain that it has "helped her marriage to be stronger" because they communicate and are so open about their feelings and desires. (They even have 3 children!!) Obviously, this is not within the Lord's definition of circumstances to necessitate adaptation. The covenant, whatever one they used, between such persons is definitely not very meaningful as a covenant between two people. People these days talk about their "significant other", usually meaning a person they have chosen to develop a regular relationship with often meaning having unlimited sexual relations and even living together, but without an official covenant of fidelity to each other. It's basically just a "verbal agreement", if even that formal. The difficulty comes when children are produced. They become an often accidental result of the physical urges being satisfied between these two consenting adults. The parent-child relationship is solid genetically but may not feel stable otherwise. (Are verbal agreements in business always binding or accountable?) God has given us the freedom to choose whatever we want. Man-made governments often hold accountable those who violate others through murder, theft, rape(depending on the culture!), and other actions. We, His children, have decided that we want to be able to define and use our procreative powers (sex) in whatever way WE want, no matter what He wants. We can do that. But one day we "will stand accountable before God." That is why I cannot condone same-sex marriage, adultery, fornication, pedophilia, or anything like that. I still love those people who indulge themselves in those ways. I truly love them, but I don't agree that what they're doing is perfectly alright. Even if I have indulged in sex before marriage in my younger days, I can't say it was right. I know it was wrong. I even felt it was wrong at the time when the world of the 60's and 70's was trying to redefine moral standards. I was confused then but am not any longer. For me personally, I have sincerely repented and feel forgiven because I have absolutely no intention of ever repeating the indiscretion (sin). This doesn't mean I judge or condemn anyone who lives otherwise. I am grateful that THAT is not my job! I definitely don't have the wisdom for that kind of authority and don't expect to have it soon. I just have finally understood what are the best guidelines for achieving long-term happiness. I intend to stick with them no matter what confusion reigns around me. After all, I will stand before God alone and account for my thoughts, deeds, and actions. Besides, I feel better about myself if I am striving for a higher standard and I have to live with myself forever!
Thursday, March 12, 2015
Family
When we were in Louisiana recently with our daughter and her family, we were waiting at the high school to pick up my grandson. As I observed the teenagers streaming out of the building, I remarked that it seems to be getting more and more difficult to identify genetic heritage. We are getting more and more "mingled" thereby making it harder to identify nationality. My daughter's response was, "Isn't that wonderful?" I totally agree. Back in the days of Adam and Eve, all humans were pretty closely related. After the confusion of language at the tower of Babel, groups began to splinter off. Over the past millenia, we have come to identify each other more by our differences than by our similarities. I disturbs me greatly to be aware of riots, wars, prejudice, and hatred of other humans based on something as totally accidental as color of skin, gender, or physical traits.
Sunday, March 08, 2015
Fret, fret, fret.....
We tend to focus a lot on the "restrictions" God may put on us but don't often consider the freedom He offers us. I find it helpful to compare parent-child relationships with our relationship to our Heavenly Father to enable me to better understand my role and God's involvement with me. I'm going to go from the assumption that anyone reading this is likely to have a basic understanding of the nature of God. There are lots of people in the world who have an erroneous concept of God's basic expectations of us and His general characteristics. He cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance, however He loves us, is willing to forgive us, is willing to give us freedom to make our own choices, hopes we will "grow up" to be good, and is merciful enough to have provided a Savior to cover for all our human frailties. As any good parent who is far wiser than a child, He tries to teach us (through prophets) then gives us goals to achieve and expects performance (commandments) from us. I want to highlight three amazing gifts or promises, among the MANY He has offered, we don't often consider:
First- the freedom to choose is often taken for granted in our day-to-day life. God has the power to control everything in our life: air we breathe, water for drinking or bathing or enjoying, plants that grow to provide food for us and animals we eat or share the planet with, absolutely everything. We could be His puppets if He chose but because He loves us and wants us to love Him voluntarily, He allows us to just do whatever we decide with very little interference from Him unless we request it or someone we might be an influence on requests it. Even for eternity, we can choose to live with Him or not, according to how much we are willing to abide by the laws of His kingdom. If we don't like the "restrictions" which are basically just natural consequences like in physics or chemistry, we can choose to live with others who also want things to be the way THEY want rather than according to eternal principles. We can't choose really impossible things, just like in the movie "Aladdin" when the genie tells Aladdin that he can't cause death or someone falling in love with him. But beyond that, we can choose whatever we want. That's amazing.
Second- I don't want to include the whole scripture because it's long but in Matthew 6, Jesus talks about the lilies of the field and the fowls of the air and says, "your Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?" He says that Father knows what we need and reminds us that if we, as evil and imperfect as we are, give good gifts to our children, why would He not give even better gifts. I can't name all the times God blesses us because it is often without our even knowing. He doesn't do it to impress us but He also doesn't do it at our childish beck and call. Many of us parents have had children who were "worriers". They tried to take upon themselves responsibilities before they were ready and before they needed to. What would be a good parent's reactions to a 6-year old who went into a panic because there wasn't any milk in the refrigerator, ranting about not knowing how he was going to get to the grocery store or how he was going to come up with the money to buy the milk? What about a child getting upset because there wasn't the kind of cereal she liked best accusing parents of not caring about her because they were only offering kinds that weren't her favorites? Yet that's what we do to our Heavenly Father when we sweat bullets about supplying our needs. I'm not talking about sitting around doing nothing and expecting Him to just magically provide everything. Too often we are ready to panic without trusting Him because we can't see beyond the moment to have our OWN control over the situation. That leads me to the third gift:
Again in Matthew 6, "Take therefore no thought for the morrow; for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself." Jesus also talks asks how you can add a cubit to your stature just by thinking about it. God wants us to make an effort and do good things of our own free will but He tells us to relax and not fret. He wants us to feel peace. He can't FORCE us to feel peace. He can't FORCE us to trust Him. He just hopes we will and has tried numerous times to get us to do it on our own. He blesses us and we either forget or don't even notice. Then when we think we need something which doesn't instantly appear, we panic. We fret and claim He doesn't love us or isn't noticing our needs. Jesus said, "How oft would I have gathered you as a hen gathereth her chicks but ye would not." Our Heavenly Father and Jesus want to share with us EVERYTHING! But we are often so obsessed with our narrow perspective of our tiny corner of the universe that we fear we're going to lose everything we have, as insignificant as it may be. How silly we must seem to Him.
First- the freedom to choose is often taken for granted in our day-to-day life. God has the power to control everything in our life: air we breathe, water for drinking or bathing or enjoying, plants that grow to provide food for us and animals we eat or share the planet with, absolutely everything. We could be His puppets if He chose but because He loves us and wants us to love Him voluntarily, He allows us to just do whatever we decide with very little interference from Him unless we request it or someone we might be an influence on requests it. Even for eternity, we can choose to live with Him or not, according to how much we are willing to abide by the laws of His kingdom. If we don't like the "restrictions" which are basically just natural consequences like in physics or chemistry, we can choose to live with others who also want things to be the way THEY want rather than according to eternal principles. We can't choose really impossible things, just like in the movie "Aladdin" when the genie tells Aladdin that he can't cause death or someone falling in love with him. But beyond that, we can choose whatever we want. That's amazing.
Second- I don't want to include the whole scripture because it's long but in Matthew 6, Jesus talks about the lilies of the field and the fowls of the air and says, "your Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?" He says that Father knows what we need and reminds us that if we, as evil and imperfect as we are, give good gifts to our children, why would He not give even better gifts. I can't name all the times God blesses us because it is often without our even knowing. He doesn't do it to impress us but He also doesn't do it at our childish beck and call. Many of us parents have had children who were "worriers". They tried to take upon themselves responsibilities before they were ready and before they needed to. What would be a good parent's reactions to a 6-year old who went into a panic because there wasn't any milk in the refrigerator, ranting about not knowing how he was going to get to the grocery store or how he was going to come up with the money to buy the milk? What about a child getting upset because there wasn't the kind of cereal she liked best accusing parents of not caring about her because they were only offering kinds that weren't her favorites? Yet that's what we do to our Heavenly Father when we sweat bullets about supplying our needs. I'm not talking about sitting around doing nothing and expecting Him to just magically provide everything. Too often we are ready to panic without trusting Him because we can't see beyond the moment to have our OWN control over the situation. That leads me to the third gift:
Again in Matthew 6, "Take therefore no thought for the morrow; for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself." Jesus also talks asks how you can add a cubit to your stature just by thinking about it. God wants us to make an effort and do good things of our own free will but He tells us to relax and not fret. He wants us to feel peace. He can't FORCE us to feel peace. He can't FORCE us to trust Him. He just hopes we will and has tried numerous times to get us to do it on our own. He blesses us and we either forget or don't even notice. Then when we think we need something which doesn't instantly appear, we panic. We fret and claim He doesn't love us or isn't noticing our needs. Jesus said, "How oft would I have gathered you as a hen gathereth her chicks but ye would not." Our Heavenly Father and Jesus want to share with us EVERYTHING! But we are often so obsessed with our narrow perspective of our tiny corner of the universe that we fear we're going to lose everything we have, as insignificant as it may be. How silly we must seem to Him.
Saturday, March 07, 2015
It's worth it
Growing up is hard. I guess I'm not suggesting the only alternative. I'm just saying that it's hard to go through the total self-involvement we humans wallow in through a large portion of our mortal existence. For some people, they manage to look outward developing compassion, forgiveness, and awareness at a relatively young age. Some may not think beyond their own limitations until their death bed, if even then. We each grow up struggling to discover who we are: what's inside, what we like about ourselves and others, what we believe in, what we want or hope for. For most people, that self-exploration occurs between the ages of 8-10 and 20-25. It's when we recognize we are separate from our parents and start looking around at all the options. For many people, unless they have really unusual circumstances, the perspective they develop is pretty limited. Some people never travel more than 100 miles from where they were born. Some people spend time only with people with similar lifestyles, customs, and beliefs to their own. We often begin to form strong opinions based on very little actual experience or information. We gravitate to those who think like we do so we limit what we discuss and read to things we are interested in rather than exploring beyond our "comfort zone". Of course, there is the other extreme of those who are so determined to be "open-minded" that they throw out the baby with the bath water. I remember telling one of my children, during those turbulent teenage years, that forming opinions based strictly on rebelling (basically choosing anything and everything to be the opposite of their parents) is just as blind as following along with everything and anything your parents tell you. You can actually consider the teachings of parents, teachers, ecclesiastical leaders or any authority figure close to you and decide to agree with them with full purpose and understanding while continuing to be unique. We are really rarely "clones" of each other. It takes a pretty mindless person to go along with any other person without exception of thought or opinion.
I would offer the suggestion that is presented in the scriptures: "By their fruits ye may know them." We need to open our hearts and minds- and keep them open- yet constantly judge for ourselves if the actions and words of someone else are what we want to emulate. It's not fair or truthful to criticize someone for being a bigot or narrow-minded then think that we avoid that characteristic simply by choosing the opposite side of the political/religious/moral issue with similar anger, name-calling, or vehemence. I think Jesus offered lots of examples of how to respond and behave, if that's the kind of hero someone wants. We need to be tolerant but still call sin, sin. Think of the story of the woman who was going to be stoned for adultery when Jesus told those surrounding her to cast the first stone if they were without sin then after they all left He told her to go her way and sin no more- He didn't just hug her or pat her on the back and tell her what she was doing was okay. We need to be loving but not encourage others to behave in ways that will ultimately cause sorrow. We need to seek guidance from the Spirit in discerning right from wrong and not just go along with whoever makes the best argument or because we want to justify ourselves or someone else in choices being made. There are things that have a right and wrong and there are things that don't matter. We need to seek the wisdom to know which is which. We can enlarge our perspective by opening our minds and hearts to ideas and opinions that may be new or different. But if we don't make a decision and stick to it once in awhile, we become wishy-washy and mindless. Jesus referred to that as building a house on sand rather than on a rock. Opening our minds and listening to others allows us to validate another person and maybe gain some understanding as to their words or actions. However, it may be really a mistake to be so sympathetic as to encourage them in doing something that would ultimately be a mistake in their eternal progression.
All of this takes time, effort, and experience. I'm certainly not there yet! I just want to recommend that we be really careful as to what ideas we promote. We will get to spend eternity with anyone who chooses to be like us or vice-versa. Satan thought it would be a good idea to not have so many rules and regulations so EVERYBODY could be "saved". I kind of like knowing there are rules to limit choices. When I get to a stoplight, I like it that if I have a green light I can go and those who have a red light will stop. It works to avoid crashes. I don't feel at all hindered in my independence because I can't just go when I feel like it wherever I feel like it. I also like the idea of having a teacher who can warn me of choices which might result in tragedy so I don't have to learn everything by trial and error. I'm grateful for a loving Father in Heaven who wants to help me grow and develop. I'm grateful for a Savior who has paid the price for me so by merely accepting His gift, repenting sincerely, and striving to be better all the time, I can be with Him and my Father forever. It's not easy but it's worth it.
I would offer the suggestion that is presented in the scriptures: "By their fruits ye may know them." We need to open our hearts and minds- and keep them open- yet constantly judge for ourselves if the actions and words of someone else are what we want to emulate. It's not fair or truthful to criticize someone for being a bigot or narrow-minded then think that we avoid that characteristic simply by choosing the opposite side of the political/religious/moral issue with similar anger, name-calling, or vehemence. I think Jesus offered lots of examples of how to respond and behave, if that's the kind of hero someone wants. We need to be tolerant but still call sin, sin. Think of the story of the woman who was going to be stoned for adultery when Jesus told those surrounding her to cast the first stone if they were without sin then after they all left He told her to go her way and sin no more- He didn't just hug her or pat her on the back and tell her what she was doing was okay. We need to be loving but not encourage others to behave in ways that will ultimately cause sorrow. We need to seek guidance from the Spirit in discerning right from wrong and not just go along with whoever makes the best argument or because we want to justify ourselves or someone else in choices being made. There are things that have a right and wrong and there are things that don't matter. We need to seek the wisdom to know which is which. We can enlarge our perspective by opening our minds and hearts to ideas and opinions that may be new or different. But if we don't make a decision and stick to it once in awhile, we become wishy-washy and mindless. Jesus referred to that as building a house on sand rather than on a rock. Opening our minds and listening to others allows us to validate another person and maybe gain some understanding as to their words or actions. However, it may be really a mistake to be so sympathetic as to encourage them in doing something that would ultimately be a mistake in their eternal progression.
All of this takes time, effort, and experience. I'm certainly not there yet! I just want to recommend that we be really careful as to what ideas we promote. We will get to spend eternity with anyone who chooses to be like us or vice-versa. Satan thought it would be a good idea to not have so many rules and regulations so EVERYBODY could be "saved". I kind of like knowing there are rules to limit choices. When I get to a stoplight, I like it that if I have a green light I can go and those who have a red light will stop. It works to avoid crashes. I don't feel at all hindered in my independence because I can't just go when I feel like it wherever I feel like it. I also like the idea of having a teacher who can warn me of choices which might result in tragedy so I don't have to learn everything by trial and error. I'm grateful for a loving Father in Heaven who wants to help me grow and develop. I'm grateful for a Savior who has paid the price for me so by merely accepting His gift, repenting sincerely, and striving to be better all the time, I can be with Him and my Father forever. It's not easy but it's worth it.
My last post may have been a little too blunt. I'm sorry if anyone found it depressing. I really didn't mean it to be. I have had a very blessed life and expect to spend at least another decade enjoying my children, grandchildren, and friends when I have the opportunity. I love the feeling of peace when I listen to beautiful music. I love the air just after it has rained and it's moist and clean. I find joy in many things on this planet. But I also know that God lives and Jesus Christ, through His atonement, has made it possible for me to spend eternity with both of them, along with those of my loved ones who choose to do so, too. So I won't miss hearing about ISIS or child sex slaves or abuse, the whole heated arguments surrounding political views, the whining about suffering by people who have plenty of food, shelter, and clothing but don't have the car or house or job they would prefer. I know that I have done a LOT of unnecessary whining in my time. I'm not pointing fingers at anyone. I haven't sinned as "bad" as some people but sinning is sinning. I just look forward to being away from Satan's influence. I look forward to being where there is light, peace, hope, and love. I am doing all I can to be worthy to live in that kind of society. When God decides I'm done here, that's fine with me.
Wednesday, March 04, 2015
Scary things
Russ and I have completed 6 decades of mortal life and are working our way through the 7th. I have remarked before how much we are learning about this stage of life, living here in Sun City, surrounded by mostly people older than we are. When we were younger, I thought of older as just being....... well..... older. I had no idea of the things that happen to your body, no matter what you eat, do, or how hard you try to avoid them. I understood that if you follow certain lifestyles, you can expect problems. If you are sedentary, you will find it harder and harder to move. If you smoke cigarettes you are much more likely to end up with emphysema or lung cancer. If you overeat you will be obese with heart, breathing, and general living problems. What's really scary is that, even when you try to avoid the worst issues, things happen without your permission.
Starting at the top, your hair is no longer what it used to be. If you are fortunate enough (like I am) to not have thinning hair, you will probably get white or grey hair. Sometimes you're lucky enough that the color is even and "attractive". Russ's hair is thinning but still his original color. People generally think I am the older of the two of us because my hair has changed color and his hasn't. He is 3 years older than I am and is older than he looks, thanks to good genes. A little deeper from the top, brains start to deteriorate but they do it at very different rates and in different ways. There are people I know who are in their 90's that seem to remember an amazing quantity of stuff. Yet, lots of people in their 60's (even when we try to exercise our brains regularly) are beginning to experience the frustration of drawing blanks on coming up with a word or person's name. It can be embarrassing and it makes it hard to play Trivial Pursuit or Jeopardy. In addition, the center of balance in the brain is one of the things that goes first. Older people don't fall a lot just because of lack of muscle flexibility. Balance in the brain is not working like it did at a younger age. Riding a bike or walking becomes more difficult and riding carnival type rides is downright miserable, even if you enjoyed it when young.
Next is a problem I have noticed especially among older women. Suspicion! I'm not sure if it's a side effect of forgetfulness or feeling of increased vulnerability due to a decrease in strength, agility, and speed of response, but older women can get downright paranoid. There is an increased obsession with locking doors, which becomes a compounded difficulty when you can't remember where you put keys. There is an increase in over-reaction to inferred insults or flaws noticed in other people. As scary as the other stuff is, this part really worries me. I don't want to be constantly hurt or insulted or suspicious of other's intentions. Nice little old ladies can become quite mean because they feel they are being taken advantage of, even if it really isn't the case at all. I don't want to cause people to feel like they have to walk on egg shells around me, constantly explaining motives or apologizing ahead of time because they may be misunderstood. I sometimes worry if maybe I'm already like that!Also especially in older women is a problem with sleeping. Even though you're exhausted at the end of the day, it happens nearly every night that you either can't get to sleep or you fall asleep then wake in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep. Then you're so tired at some point during the day that you're embarrassed by falling asleep at any moment, even as you struggle to retain consciousness.
Loss of hearing, sight (cataracts, macular degeneration, loss of flexibility in the lens), and taste are all major chunks taken out of the joys in life. It's really a pain to be left out of conversation simply because you miss half of what is said, or to be constantly requesting things to be repeated to the point that you seem unintelligent.
All of this happens just in the topmost part of your body! I haven't even addressed issues further down like arthritis, incontinence, aching and/or misshapen feet, increased carpal tunnel symptoms, neuropathy in all parts of your body causing pain and/or numbness. In addition, Russ and I have become more conscientious of our eating and exercising than ever before in our life yet our weight, blood pressure, and cholesterol continue to slowly climb. We walk vigorously 2-3 miles 5 or 6 days a week. In addition, we are rarely sedentary in our activities throughout the day. Due to severe acid reflux, I don't eat any fried foods (french fries, donuts, deep-fried whatever) or foods with heavy sauces. We eat several servings of fruits and vegetables every day and limit our carbohydrate intake. We don't drink soft drinks (Russ does occasionally but I never do because my stomach can't deal with carbonation) and rarely drink fruit juice. We try to drink enough water to avoid dehydration and constipation. Sometimes it seems like all we think about is trying to stay healthy!
I sure don't understand why ANY sane person would hope to live a long life. Sure, you have fewer responsibilities once you retire from regular work and your kids are grown and out of the house. But you end up having to keep track of doctor appointments, a plethora of pills, and frequent self-inflicted injuries from lack of strength or coordination. Nope. I have no desire to live to be 100, or even 90! In fact, I wouldn't mind not making 80! Nobody needs me anymore. That's okay. I have done lots of good things and worked hard. I get no pleasure from endless hours of tv watching or card-playing and I don't play golf at all. This really isn't a plea for pity or a depressed mood. I just see what's ahead and I'm not anxious to get deeper into old age problems. I have the added bonus of knowing what comes next. I may miss loved ones for awhile but that's the way it is right now so that's not any different. I'll be with them again- if that's what they want. If they don't then there isn't anything I can do about it anyway. So, for now, I'll keep doing what I can to ward off whatever deterioration I can then just hope for a quick ending- not too far down the road.
Starting at the top, your hair is no longer what it used to be. If you are fortunate enough (like I am) to not have thinning hair, you will probably get white or grey hair. Sometimes you're lucky enough that the color is even and "attractive". Russ's hair is thinning but still his original color. People generally think I am the older of the two of us because my hair has changed color and his hasn't. He is 3 years older than I am and is older than he looks, thanks to good genes. A little deeper from the top, brains start to deteriorate but they do it at very different rates and in different ways. There are people I know who are in their 90's that seem to remember an amazing quantity of stuff. Yet, lots of people in their 60's (even when we try to exercise our brains regularly) are beginning to experience the frustration of drawing blanks on coming up with a word or person's name. It can be embarrassing and it makes it hard to play Trivial Pursuit or Jeopardy. In addition, the center of balance in the brain is one of the things that goes first. Older people don't fall a lot just because of lack of muscle flexibility. Balance in the brain is not working like it did at a younger age. Riding a bike or walking becomes more difficult and riding carnival type rides is downright miserable, even if you enjoyed it when young.
Next is a problem I have noticed especially among older women. Suspicion! I'm not sure if it's a side effect of forgetfulness or feeling of increased vulnerability due to a decrease in strength, agility, and speed of response, but older women can get downright paranoid. There is an increased obsession with locking doors, which becomes a compounded difficulty when you can't remember where you put keys. There is an increase in over-reaction to inferred insults or flaws noticed in other people. As scary as the other stuff is, this part really worries me. I don't want to be constantly hurt or insulted or suspicious of other's intentions. Nice little old ladies can become quite mean because they feel they are being taken advantage of, even if it really isn't the case at all. I don't want to cause people to feel like they have to walk on egg shells around me, constantly explaining motives or apologizing ahead of time because they may be misunderstood. I sometimes worry if maybe I'm already like that!Also especially in older women is a problem with sleeping. Even though you're exhausted at the end of the day, it happens nearly every night that you either can't get to sleep or you fall asleep then wake in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep. Then you're so tired at some point during the day that you're embarrassed by falling asleep at any moment, even as you struggle to retain consciousness.
Loss of hearing, sight (cataracts, macular degeneration, loss of flexibility in the lens), and taste are all major chunks taken out of the joys in life. It's really a pain to be left out of conversation simply because you miss half of what is said, or to be constantly requesting things to be repeated to the point that you seem unintelligent.
All of this happens just in the topmost part of your body! I haven't even addressed issues further down like arthritis, incontinence, aching and/or misshapen feet, increased carpal tunnel symptoms, neuropathy in all parts of your body causing pain and/or numbness. In addition, Russ and I have become more conscientious of our eating and exercising than ever before in our life yet our weight, blood pressure, and cholesterol continue to slowly climb. We walk vigorously 2-3 miles 5 or 6 days a week. In addition, we are rarely sedentary in our activities throughout the day. Due to severe acid reflux, I don't eat any fried foods (french fries, donuts, deep-fried whatever) or foods with heavy sauces. We eat several servings of fruits and vegetables every day and limit our carbohydrate intake. We don't drink soft drinks (Russ does occasionally but I never do because my stomach can't deal with carbonation) and rarely drink fruit juice. We try to drink enough water to avoid dehydration and constipation. Sometimes it seems like all we think about is trying to stay healthy!
I sure don't understand why ANY sane person would hope to live a long life. Sure, you have fewer responsibilities once you retire from regular work and your kids are grown and out of the house. But you end up having to keep track of doctor appointments, a plethora of pills, and frequent self-inflicted injuries from lack of strength or coordination. Nope. I have no desire to live to be 100, or even 90! In fact, I wouldn't mind not making 80! Nobody needs me anymore. That's okay. I have done lots of good things and worked hard. I get no pleasure from endless hours of tv watching or card-playing and I don't play golf at all. This really isn't a plea for pity or a depressed mood. I just see what's ahead and I'm not anxious to get deeper into old age problems. I have the added bonus of knowing what comes next. I may miss loved ones for awhile but that's the way it is right now so that's not any different. I'll be with them again- if that's what they want. If they don't then there isn't anything I can do about it anyway. So, for now, I'll keep doing what I can to ward off whatever deterioration I can then just hope for a quick ending- not too far down the road.
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