Everybody has one

Anyone who knows me has heard me go on and on about the brain. We don't all have an interest in sports. We don't all have an interest in history. We are all very different in size, shape, talents, and abilities. But we all have a body that includes (and is controlled by) a brain. So, I tend to go on and on because I am fascinated by information as to the functions of this majorly important part of us. That information wasn't widely available until relatively recently. So I want to share a little about what I have learned through quite a bit of reading and listening to lectures. For those who have a teenager, or who currently have the brain of a teenager (I'm talking in real time/age, not attitude), I want to share information that I wish I had been aware of as I was trying to guide children through youth. I am going to start with quoting some stuff I wrote up and sent to my kids a year or more ago so if anyone reading this is one of my kids and you have read it before, this will be a review.
Adults sometimes wonder if teenagers have a brain and, if they do, why they aren't using it. Brains actually undergo massive reorganization between the ages of 12 and 25. The brain doesn't grow much in size during that time because it has already reached 90% of full size by age 6. Any head growth after that is mostly due to thickening of the skull. (This is not a joke though it's funny. Literally, the bone gets thicker.) But during those years the axons- long fibers used by the neurons to send signals to other neurons- become more insulated with the fatty substance called myelin. This tissue is important because it actually speeds up  the brain's transmissions. This white tissue increases slowly from the stem in the back of the brain to the frontal areas where complex thinking (like making judgement calls) occurs. The axons also develop more branches and the most heavily used synapses are made richer and stronger. In other words, whatever thoughts, action, feelings you are reinforcing during this period of brain development are becoming a more permanent part of you. (That's why this is a perfect age for going to school to learn languages, history, facts, etc.) The synapses that are not being used will wither. The result is that the gray matter is pruned to become thinner and more efficient. As some paths are pruned away, causing a disruption of speed and intensity of thought patterns, it also allows branching off of new pathways. This could be seen as "thinking outside the box" but often feels to adults like rebellion or challenge to rules and authority. Teens gradually will get better at complex thinking to balance impulse, desire, goals, self-interest, rules, ethics all to generate behavior that is more complex and sensible because it isn't so impulsive.
The problem is that, while all this development is occurring (invisible and unbeknownst to anyone including the person experiencing it), teenagers are big enough, independent enough, and capable of acting on their own without have sufficient good judgement yet to understand or foresee consequences. Teens clumsy brain developments can bring unbearable and long-term consequences. This is where parents, teachers, and other adult leaders for youth can be helpful. As a part of natural development, teenagers will look outside their family (parents) more and more. This is in preparation for eventual separation and independence and should not be viewed as an insult or grief for parents. Often teenagers will look to their peers for ideas or guidance. This is NOT such a good thing. Their peers are just as clueless as they are. Sometimes bad ideas get passed around and there can be undesirable consequences. All adults can be aware of this stage of life and rather than take a scornful view of teenagers, avoiding contact with them, it could be helpful to try to be an influence for good. It isn't effective to try to take over leading a pack of teenagers, unless you are an official teacher or leader recognized by the pack as someone with appropriate authority. But if you can be a friend to an individual teenager and share stories that may include lessons learned, you may be a big influence for good in that person's life. As for your own kids, don't worry too much when they tell you that they admire a friend's father who has a career exciting to them or they really like to spend time at a friend's house because they love the mother's cooking. It's okay to let them develop a relationship with another adult but try to "steer" them toward someone who is likely to be a good influence. Go ahead and encourage relationships with successful adults whether a neighbor, parent of a schoolmate, or even a grandparent or other adult relative. The teenager needs to be growing toward independence. Recognizing and respecting their agency to choose for themselves is essential to the teenager's self-image. It will be difficult for them to believe in themselves if you don't believe in them. However, you have wisdom and ability to judge that the teenager simply doesn't have yet. That's not an insult to the teenager. It is a biological fact. Teenagers are prone to think their ideas are so new that no one has ever come up with them before. Occasionally that happens. But often that new idea is new mostly to the teenager himself. An adult will be aware of that but the teenager won't. Curfews, rules, and consequences (especially when you can warn them of them ahead of time) are essential to help build in safety limits. If you let kids date before age 16, then dating by 16 will be boring and they will be ready to use their new freedom of driving to potentially get in trouble. If you have no limits as to when they should be home in bed, they may stay out all night resulting in poor performance in school (resulting in lesser chance at college acceptance or scholarships) or they may do things that people do in the dark that they would never do in broad daylight.
I plan to do more explaining about how knowledge of how the brain functions can help in everyday understanding and choices. I hope some of the information helps someone, somewhere, sometime.