How are you identified?

My husband was a firefighter for 20 years then retired. He now identifies himself to people as a "retired firefighter". He always says he had a job that he was never reluctant to go to work for and bemoans having lost that daily productivity. He has since done quite a bit of charter bus driving and now sometimes identifies himself as a bus driver. I have on occasion mentioned that I have spent many years as a seamstress but I don't think I have ever expressed regret that I don't do it very much anymore. I have children and grandchildren but I no longer have any primary responsibilities to care for them. As we drove by several houses today I was looking at yards and windows, noticing things like model sailing ships, cowboy themed metal yard ornaments, holiday decorations, etc. I thought about what household decorations I have collected over the years, which have now been packed up for over 5 years and will continue to be in a storage space for at least 2 more years. Often our home decor gives hints as to "who we are". For instance, people who have done a lot of travel often have furnishings and knick-knacks from various places in the world. People who are religious have religious pictures and objects. People who have large, loving families have lots of family pictures, kids' drawings on the refrigerator, pillows made or embroidered by family, and similar items. All of those things from past or present occupations to home decor to hobbies do not actually "IDENTIFY" you. They can give hints as to how you might have come upon traditions you follow or feelings about things. But my husband is NOT simply a retired firefighter. That gives hints as to what his political leanings are likely to be or what his basic personality may be, but it doesn't totally tell anyone exactly who he is, what he believes, or how he reacts to things. I can identify myself beyond just what I have for home decor- especially under my present circumstances of not even having a home to decorate! It's sad when people lose what they consider their identifiers whether they lose a job or retire, whether they have a home burn down or have important things stolen. But I think it would behoove all of us to realize and remember that those things are NOT WHO WE ARE! People who aspire to own things or be some occupation are too often grieved way beyond what is reasonable when they don't acquire or achieve what they had hoped. There are so many things in life to truly bring grief that purposely causing this kind of self-inflicted pain is unnecessary. You can be whoever you want to be as a person in any job with any home or wardrobe or hobby. You can be motherly without ever bearing children. You can be brave without ever bearing arms against an enemy. You can be charitable without giving away all of your financial resources. Other people will know who you are soon enough. It will show- for good or bad. If you put on a "good show" with a fancy house or wardrobe or certificate on the wall you may get instant recognition but it will only be temporary. Soon enough people will get to know you better and find out who you really are. So who are you?